Pen and paper, like stationery and love letters, are now ancient relics of the past. Gone are the times when you’d wait for weeks for mail to reach you and get an update from your beau. This time, all you have to do is whip out your smartphone and text away.
So today, the distance between texting and sexting is only a winking emoji away. But what do you say? How far should you go? Should you send a suggestive nude pic? How can you avoid sounding awkward? Will he think you’re a freak? And what if someone else reads it?
First of all, relax and be confident. No matter how instant things are these days, one of the keys to sexting is to take it slow. Start with subtlety, let him get into it, and enjoy the show! [Read: How to text flirt with a friend and build it to sexting in one text conversation]
How to sext a guy and turn him on
Let us lay down the deets on the do’s and don’ts of this growing, throbbing, titillating…art. So get those fingers warmed up and ready, and find yourself getting wonderfully laid tonight as we give you the ultimate guide to sexting.
#1 Do it for you and not for him. First of all, you do it not to please him but to pleasure your little old self because you like it and you like him, with the latter being a delicious bonus. Doing so will make it more natural and less awkward, therefore exponentially upping up the ante on the titillation factor. This will also make the experience more fun for yourself. And the more fun you have, the more sex appeal you will channel through your sexts. [Read: 20 sexy questions to sext a guy and seduce him discreetly]
#2 Do learn how to spell. You don’t have to use highfalutin words to impress your guy, especially when you’re sexting. But if you’re always sending out texts with spelling and grammar errors, it only goes to show that you’re being careless or you’re simply not paying attention to what you’re really saying.
Perhaps you’re busier eating your lunch or talking to your colleagues over coffee break as you text, but that will completely ruin the mood. Correct spelling and grammar, even with the simplest words, show that you care enough to double check what you’re typing before sending them.
#3 Do double-check your autocorrect. Aside from human error in grammar and spelling, autocorrect is also the bane of sexting in the moment. Instead of saying you want to stroke his thighs and run your fingers on his hard chest, you might end up saying you want to string his things and ruin your fingerlings on his harvest. Double check that autocorrect hasn’t completely ruined your message—or your sex life.
#4 Do be creative and different. Instead of the usual “Hi!” try to make an impression by putting some more “oomph” and thought to your message. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to put some well-placed emojis.
Saying, “Hi, I thought of you today!” would get an upgrade and a naughtier innuendo if you add a winking emoticon and even a horny devil in the end. This could get the ball rolling on a wonderful sexting session in the morning and a satisfying sexing session by night time. [Read: 20 steamy text messages to start a sexy conversation]
#5 Do take it slow. What’s exciting about sexting is the sexual tension built up over time. Coming on too strong or too fast may throw your guy off, especially if you have just met. Don’t escalate from a simple hello to, “I’m totally touching myself while thinking of you.”
Start out with a simple text, and be flirtier and flirtier as you progress. Build up the anticipation by making your texts naughtier and naughtier, until your man can’t wait to actually do the deed with you. [Read: Sexy, naughty sexting games to leave you both horny all night long]
#6 Don’t give away too much. Despite the tension that you build up by describing what you’re wearing, be careful to still leave something to his imagination. Instead of telling him what you’re going to do to him, just give a hint or simply say you have something planned later and you think he’ll like it very much.
Again, be creative and suggestive as you leave him thinking about you for the rest of the day. Let the teasing do the talking, and leave all the action for later. [Read: 23 sexy tips to dirty talking and saying the naughtiest things]
#7 Do keep it real. Saying that you’re going to tie him up to a pole and whip the bejeezus out of him isn’t something that will turn him on, especially because he knows it’s ridiculously untrue *unless it’s true!*. In fact, it may even freak him out a little.
Always text something that you really plan on doing, so there is follow through. Be imaginative, but don’t make it an utter fantasy or an empty promise. However, if you’re playing the fantasy card and he totally gets the role-play, then text away. [Read: 50 sexy and dirty things to say to your boyfriend]
#8 Don’t send naked pictures with your face. In fact, NEVER put a face to that hot naked booty. After the celebrity scandals, hacks, and leaks, the last thing you need is your naked body plastered all over the internet. It might make you an instant celebrity—but not in a good way.
It doesn’t matter if you trust your partner because the bottom line is, you’ll never know where those photos—or videos—might end up. Worst case scenario: you don’t know the person you’re texting and you’re very well putting yourself in danger, hurting your relationships, and damaging your career. [Read: How to do damage control for leaked nudes]
#9 Do know when to stop. Have you seen him flirting with another woman last night, and now he’s telling you he’s got the hots for you? What if he forgot your anniversary? Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been married for years, a rule of thumb for sexting and for your whole relationship for that matter is: good men get rewarded, while assholes get cut off.
If he forgets to show up on your date, and then he suddenly sends you something nasty? The only reply to that sext is silence.
#10 Do know when to ease off. Similarly, you should also know when to hit the breaks when naughty takes a turn for actually being nasty. If he’s sexting you about threesomes or something that is really not your cup of tea, be vocal, and let him know that you’re not into certain things.
Being in the heat of the moment doesn’t mean you have to play along with something that you’re really not comfortable with. After all, you should be having fun too.
#11 Don’t sext while you’re drunk. Sexting only works when it’s enticing and even witty. It’s like mental foreplay with your guy. So never sext when you’re drunk because it probably won’t be as sexy as you imagined it in your head.
In fact, you may even send the text to the wrong person or even a complete stranger. So do yourself a favor: when you’re drinking, put down your phone, and save the sexting for when you’re sober. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy]
#12 Do be open to real text conversations. If your man texts you that he had a rough day at work, don’t respond by saying, “Oooh, I’m so horny honey.” Show that you are responsive not only when he’s being kinky and frisky, but that you’re also there for him when he’s down or if he just needs someone to talk to and lean on in not-so-good-and-sexy times.
Don’t substitute sexting in place of having real conversations or getting to know him even better. Use sexting only as a tool to add spice to the relationship, and not your sole form or connecting with him.
In a nutshell, sexting is fun when done according to the guidelines that don’t make you end up regretting what you just sent. There’s already so much at stake when you send that first racy text to a new guy, so it’s important to know how to do it right! [Read: 10 sexy conversation starters to get you both horny]
[Read: How to get a guy horny and hard just by sitting next to him]
These sexting tips will help you see what you may be doing wrong all along, or even get you started if you haven’t caught on yet. Keep these in mind as you compose your next flirtatiously naughty text!
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