Coupled Already? 13 Signs You’re Dating Your Friend Already & Don’t Know It!

Is your bestie your perfect match? They could be! We’re looking at the signs that you’re already dating your best friend… And you don’t even know it!

signs you're dating your friend and are a couple

Whether it’s strangers, friends, or family, do you find people constantly asking if you and your best friend are a couple? This might be funny the first few times, but if you’re constantly getting questions regarding your romantic status and comments about what a “cute couple” you and your bestie are, it can get annoying—fast.

Maybe it’s time to consider the possibility that they are onto something.

If the thought of dating your best friend sends you into preschool-like fits of, “Eww, gross!” or “She has cooties!” then you probably haven’t been entertaining romantic thoughts—with good reason. 

You could either be genuinely not attracted to each other *which is fine*, or you could have just put them in such a rigid box that you haven’t even considered the possibility of them as a romantic partner

There’s something to be said for caution, as dating your best friend can have some icky consequences. Platonic friendships are often pillars of support and love, and dating can put all of that at risk. But with great risk comes great reward–there are super sexy benefits to falling in love with your best pal.

There could be signs in your life that you are already dating your best friend!

Signs you’re dating your best friend

The line between friendship and relationship can be surprisingly thin, especially if you are both single. If you think you and your bestie have crossed the line from best friends into something more, then keep reading. We’re looking at the signs you may actually be dating your best friend—and you don’t even realize it!

1. You’re already labeled as dating by those around you

Looking for signs you are dating your best friend? Sometimes it takes everyone around you to show you what’s right in front of your face. Often our friends and families catch on to things before we do. 

For example, are you constantly having to make a defense with a long, thought-out list of reasons why you’re “so not a couple” to your families? Or do your friends expect that if they invite one of you to a party or event, the other one will inevitably show up as well? Are you generally seen as a “package deal” by those around you? 

If the answer to any of these is yes, it means you are spending as much time around this person as you would if you were a couple. Your friend and family’s assumptions show that you may be dating your best friend already! 

So if your friends are already pairing the two of you up, or can’t quite say your name without naming your “other half,” then you might want to start rethinking your “we’re just friends” stance. [Read: Tricky pros and cons of dating a best friend]

2. Your communication is otherworldly

You two have spent so much time together that you have your own language, or don’t even need to use words. You and your best friend are now so in tune that you could have a whole conversation using your body language alone. 

Is someone annoying you at a party? You can secretly mock this person with your BFF, using nothing but a glance. Feeling totally bummed out in a social situation? Your BFF already knows, and comfort is on the way! [Read: Communication exercises for couples – easy games to be a better lover]

That’s right, when you really gel with someone, you can communicate without using language. This is a major sign that you are dating- everyone knows that communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, romantic or not.

If you are already so good at communicating, you’ve already done the major work of a romantic relationship anyway! 

3. They are automatically your +1

Got an invitation to a wedding, party, baby shower, housewarming, or little Haley’s graduation? No matter what the occasion, or how well you know the host, your plus one has already been determined.

Whew! That’s one less thing to worry about. Why bother even looking for a date? I mean, you’re obviously bringing your best friend. Duh.

It’s important to look out for these signs that you are dating your best friend and take note that you need to be wary of this double-edged sword.

By constantly filling the role of partner in your life with your best friend, you are essentially not single. If you are looking for a romantic partner it is going to be hard when that role is always played by your BFF. It’s hard to take a spot that isn’t there!

If you want to date your best friend, that’s not a problem. However, if you don’t, you need to practice distancing yourself from your BFF to find a partner you want to date. [Read: Clingy boyfriend – 16 signs he’s doing too much & how to shut it down]

4. You’ve become the green-eyed monster

Jealousy can reveal a feeling of attachment you may not know you had. Does the idea of your BFF dating upset you? Do you automatically dislike anyone they take a romantic interest in, even before you meet them?

If your BFF makes plans that don’t involve you or makes a new friend, does the green-eyed monster take over? If so, you need to evaluate your feelings about your so-called best friend. [Read: Jealousy vs. envy – 22 signs to tell them apart when they feel the same]

Are you jealous about the plans, or that your BFF wants to hang out with someone who isn’t you? Either way, you’re jealous for a reason, and you should probably decipher why that is before you start looking like a crazy person. 

5. You talk all day long

A sign you might be dating your best friend is constant communication. You exchange “good morning” texts or call, text throughout the day detailing work life, and you finish off the day with an obligatory night-time phone call or goodnight text. 

Ask yourself– do you talk to your other friends this much? If the answer is no, then the relationship you have with your best friend is likely more than just close friends. This is entering lover territory, and a good sign you are dating your best friend. [Read: Are you more than friends or just friends?]

6. You have fights that feel like breakups

Fights with friends are always upsetting. But If you and your bestie have had a fight that felt more like a breakup, then things have definitely taken a romantic turn.

Sure, we all have intense fights with friends from time to time. But if fighting with your best friend leaves you with knots in your stomach, makes you cry, or results in a getting-back-together-like reunion, you may be closer to coupledom than you think.

7. You have no secrets from each other

Sure, we all tell our friends the details of our lives. But does this go to the extreme with your best friend? If so, it might be a sign you are dating.

For example, does he tell you about the newest video game coming out, his weird issues with his mom, or the hair he found in his soup? Do you tell him about friend/family/workmate drama, Sephora’s new value palettes, and how your period cramps are killing you? Oversharing comfortably is a definite sign that your friendship is a lot more like dating.

What’s more, do you tell your BFF things you wouldn’t dare tell anyone else? If so, it’s probably because you trust your bestie so much that you know they wouldn’t betray your trust. You trust your BFF implicitly, and that’s an amazing trait for any budding romantic relationship. [Read: How to trust again & give someone your heart when you’re scared]

8. You spend more time with them than anyone else

At this point, you don’t even make other plans on the weekend. You know that you will be hanging out with your best friend, who is totally just your friend. Right? When it comes to you and your bestie, plans are solid and do not have to be discussed. You are each other’s weekend ride or die.

If you find that you spend more time with your bestie than anyone else in your life, it might be because you two are actually dating. [Read: In love with your best friend… What next?]

9. You had to find a new label

Somewhere along the line, “friend” just didn’t seem to cut it anymore, so you became “best friends” *BFFS, Biffles, Besties, etc.* but now that doesn’t seem to really describe how extraordinary your friendship is.

Whenever you’re together, all you talk about is how fierce your friendship is *okay well, not the whole time, but it comes up often* You’ve now moved beyond best friends, and become something else entirely to each other. 

You can try and replace it with cutesy nicknames, calling each other your “life partner” ironically… But somewhere deep down, you totally mean it. It’s time to be honest with yourself and realize you are dating your best friend. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

10. You aren’t interested in dating

At least, not dating someone else. A sudden lack of interest in spending time with anyone but your best friend is a sign that you are dating.

After all, if you two were really just friends, you would have no problem dating other people. But since you and your bestie are something more, you both find it impossible to look for other romantic partners. 

It may have been that you were interested in dating other people at one point, but now you’re not. What changed? Did you start spending more and more time with your best friend? If so, you’re probably already dating your best friend and don’t even know it. [Read: Are you more than friends? 17 signs you’ve gone from talking to dating]

11. You think about your bestie way more than your other friends

You can say what you want, but your heart knows what is true. Ask yourself, do you think about your other friends as much as your best friend? Do you spend as much time talking to your other friends? Do you share the same secrets with them as you would your other friends?

If you treat your best friend very differently from your other friends, it’s because they aren’t really your best friend. You two are actually dating, you just haven’t realized it yet. 

12. Best friends and lovers

Alright, so it’s definitely possible to have pretty much all of these signs be true for you and your bestie without harboring some repressed romantic connections…

But consider this: many psychotherapists and laymen alike agree that your romantic partner should also double as your best friend. If you already have a BFF, and you’re totally attracted to them, what’s stopping you from pursuing what could be a magical relationship?

13. You’ve been intimate before

This is an obvious one, but if your relationship has taken a turn towards physical intimacy you are not just best friends anymore. You could call yourself friends with benefits, but you would be fooling yourself.

If you two are already spending all your time together, talking all day long, going everywhere together and you are sleeping together, you are dating your best friend. You are just the last to know. 

When to dial it back

It can be both a good and a bad thing that you and your best friend are showing signs of dating. If you think you might be interested in a romantic relationship with your best friend, and they feel the same way, great! Congrats on taking a new step in your relationship! 

However, if one of the two of you thinks you are just friends, and the other is hoping for more, it’s a recipe for disaster.

You may be inadvertently stringing them along— treating them as a placeholder for a romantic partner while you wait for someone you are actually interested in to come along. 

If you think that your best friend might be hoping for more, and you aren’t interested, it’s time to tone down your relationship. After all, you can’t find a romantic partner if you basically already have one, and you don’t want to hurt the friend that you love by leading them on. 

[Read: 17 clear signs you should be dating your best friend already]

We’re not saying you’re definitely in love with your best friend… We’re just strongly hinting. Using these thirteen signs as your guide, why not take a chance on your bestie and admit that you’d make the most awesome couple ever?

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...