19 Foolproof Secrets & Ways to Break Up a Couple Who Shouldn’t Be Together!

Do you like your best friend’s boyfriend? Or is he an abusive jerk she ought to dump? Here’s how to break up that problematic couple.

how to break up a couple

There are many reasons why you’d need to know how to break up a couple. Cheating and plain douchebaggery are never okay. But what if your BFF’s string of beaus are all at it?

You’re perfectly entitled to get involved. After all, you care about your girlfriend, and with each ended relationship, you’re the one who has to bear the brunt of her seemingly endless heartbreak stories and mood swings.

So, when a new guy comes along, you’re on alert again. You’re hoping he’ll be better than the last jerk she dated.

Then you see your best friend’s man hanging out with another girl, while he’s supposed to be with her. While you try to not meddle in your friend’s affairs, you’ve got a choice. Either let her figure out she’s dating a big-time asshole, or tell her outright.

This time you just can’t take it. You seriously think about taking things into your own hands and, for once, saving your friend the heartache.

You know that if you tell your friend, she will never believe you. It may even cost you her trust. She might think that you really don’t like ALL her boyfriends—when, in fact, she just has poor choices in men. What do you do?

You break them up, of course. Covertly. With our super secret strategies, you can break up that problematic partnership and save your friend’s feelings. It’s totally possible to get a good friend at the same time, too. So, let’s find out how to break up a couple who shouldn’t be together.

[Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend that mean you need to leave ASAP]

The subtle secrets to break up a couple when it’s the right thing to do

Here, we’ll give you everything you need to know about splitting up a couple. Remember, these tips are only intended to break up a couple that *shouldn’t* be together. Get ready, this isn’t going to be easy.

1. Keep him closer

You know the saying, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer,” right? That’s what you’ll want to do. Be friendly, agreeable, and sympathetic. Listen to his woes and give sound advice, like you’re an expert on your best friend.

Soon enough, you’ll be his well-trusted confidant. And from there, you can gain deeper insight into what the guy is all about, giving you plenty of opportunities to give advice that will eventually break them up.

2. Incite trouble

When your girlfriend comes up to you and gushes about how her guy took her to this great new restaurant she always wanted to go to, ask about the details. If she tells you the guy arrived late or didn’t pick her up, that’s your cue. Ask why he’s late or wasn’t able to pick her up.

Bring up that other time he was late or wasn’t able to come with her. Tell her his actions seem to be shady. While the guy may really just be busy or something innocent made him late, that’s not the point.

You should be able to make your friend suspicious about her man’s activities. That’s an easy first step to breaking up a couple. [Read: 16 signs your boyfriend’s definitely cheating on you]

3. Exploit his weaknesses

After some time, you may know a lot about your BFF’s guy from her stories and rants. When she is mad at him, fan the flames and exploit his weaknesses.

Keep conditioning your friend’s mind by feeding her all the negative traits of her boyfriend and, in time, she will start to believe you and see her man as you want her to see him.

4. Bring an ex back into the picture

You know that other guy she last went out with? The one you also didn’t like? Well, now is the time to like him—or at least his memory.

Whenever your friend complains about her current guy, bring up how great her ex used to be. He was caring, remembered anniversaries, brought gifts, and splurged on fancy dates… All of it.

And if that still doesn’t work, reach out to her ex and actually bring him into the picture. That’ll make the current guy jealous, suspicious, or at least uncomfortable.

This kind of manipulation is one of the most valuable skills you can have if you want to know how to break up a couple. [Read: 22 signs your best friend isn’t a best friend anymore – and why you drifted apart]

5. Keep them apart

One way of slowly and unassumingly breaking people apart is by keeping them apart. You can do this by asking your friend to come with you as much as possible — especially on the days that you know she’s supposed to go out with her man.

Introduce your friend to a new hobby and invite her out on fun day trips, nights out, and weekend vacations. That way, she won’t have any time to give to her bad boyfriend.

If necessary, you can even pretend to have a huge problem *like a breakup of your own* so you need to have her by your side.

Any relationship will shrivel and die if the couple doesn’t give any time to it.

6. Find someone new

While it’s a given that your friend has poor taste in men, you, as her best friend, have a pretty good idea of what kind of guy she likes. Set her up with a guy you know she’ll like.

Heck, you can even pay someone to be her date. Then, brief that guy about what your friend likes and how she wants to be treated. Engineer a dream meet-up and a dream guy.

Once your friend comments that the guy looks cute, or shows the least bit of interest, you’ll come in strong. Compare the guy to her current beau and criticize the boyfriend so she’ll start thinking about her possibilities with other men. [Read: 25 secret signs of a jealous friend and how to deal with their envy]

7. Get him to cheat

If you’ve become close to the guy, you can hang out with him or join them on their dates. During these times, you can make the guy notice another girl.

You can point to a random woman at the bar, for example, and comment on how great her body looks. For you, it’s an innocent observation. But for him, there’s a chance that his imagination might start working.

Keep subtly presenting him with opportunities to look at other women and soon, your girlfriend will catch him in the act and get angry. Best-case scenario: he’ll really be hooking up with that girl at the bar behind your friend’s back. Cheating will instantly break up a couple.

8. “Don’t let it affect you.”

Pinpoint a minor criticism about her guy and blow it up. Something along the lines of, “He’s too carefree. I wonder what he’ll be like when you guys start getting serious. Is he really the marrying type?”

With the right words, you can twist any minor flaw into something that could be serious—at least in your friend’s mind.

And then say, “Don’t let it affect you.” These are the magic words because that’s when the issue will really start to affect her. It’s basic reverse psychology.

The secret here is to drop subtle things that slowly but surely, erode her trust and security with her guy. [Read: Bad friends – the 25 types of friends you MUST kick out of your life]

9. Gossip

If worst comes to worst, you can take the low road and spread gossip. In this case, you MUST be careful. Cover your tracks and make sure whatever you spread won’t be traced back to you.

If you get caught, your best friend won’t only lose her man, but she will also lose you. Spread lies *or half-truths* about the guy to make them very uncomfortable with each other.

10. Act as if there’s something wrong

You can also spread around a rumor that their relationship is on the rocks — even if they are perfectly fine. When your mutuals ask about your best friend and her man, just shake your head sadly and hint that the couple is not doing great.

Once this news reaches the couple, it will, of course, make them feel uncomfortable. By doing this, you’ve managed to make them question their relationship, why people think they’re not doing well, and if they really are fine.

11. Have a heart-to-heart

Sometimes, honesty is the best policy. Try having an honest conversation with your best friend about why their boyfriend is bad news.

She’s supposed to be your bestie, right? So she should listen to your opinion, and you should be able to tell her anything and everything that’s on your mind. If she hears it from you, it might be the push she needs to leave him. [Read: Fair-weather friends – 20 signs your friend doesn’t care about you]

If you’re super brave, you could even try having a conversation with the bad boyfriend. Don’t make it obvious that you’re trying to break up the couple. Just let him know how you feel about his behavior and that you want the best for your beloved friend.

12. Expose lies

Most bad boyfriends tell lies, so chances are your best friend’s guy has lied to her at least once or twice. These might be big lies, or they might be little white ones.

No matter how big they are, they’re always a betrayal, and they’re the perfect ammunition to break up that couple. Expose the lies your best friend’s boyfriend has been telling her. This will undermine the relationship while doing a good turn.

13. Overdramatize shortcomings

“That temper your boyfriend’s got, it’s literally the worst I’ve ever seen! And his dress sense…” Sounds mean, we know.

But sometimes, you’ve got to talk somebody down if you want to change another person’s impression of them for the worse.

So, overdramatize your BFF’s boyfriend’s shortcomings. Every little tiny wrong thing – make it huge. [Read: 18 honest reasons why you don’t have friends that care about you]

14. Set up scams

This is the nuclear option – the big red button that could either destroy the relationship for good or make your BFF hate your guts. So, before we tell you about this strategy, it’s important you know how badly this could go.

Set up a scam to trick him into a compromising situation. This is even easier now we have smartphones and social media.

Have you ever seen those videos online where people “test” their partners to see if they’d cheat? Do that. Pretend to be a hot, tempting girl, and see if you can get him to bite. Then, report the results back to your best friend.

Either she’ll see him for who he really is, or she’ll be mad at you for tricking him. Hopefully, she’ll be grateful to you for showing her his true colors, and a breakup will ensue. [Read: When your best friend ignores you suddenly – the whys and how to fix it]

15. Incite jealousy

Don’t get bitter, get better! Instead of sitting and waiting for your best friend to improve their life, make them feel jealous by making yours perfect.

If you can make your own relationship perfect, your best friend might feel pushed to make a change in her own life. It’s a long game, but if you play it right, it just might work.

16. Call for backup

Maybe you don’t feel confident breaking up the couple on your own, or you don’t have the skills you need to pull off your chosen strategy. Sometimes, you need to call for backup.

Enlist some of your other friends from your wider friend group to help you. They might be able to give you more ideas or even do some of the work to get your best friend back on track. Of course, this option is only available if you have sympathetic friends.

Make sure your wider friend group actually agrees that the relationship is bad for your bestie. If they don’t feel the same way that you do, it could make them think of you badly. You don’t want to get a reputation as a homewrecker! [Read: Coupled already? Signs you’re dating your friend already and don’t know it]

17. Become too close

Get close. Right up in their face. They can’t function as a couple if you’re with them constantly. So, stick around them. They might think you’re a pest, but at least they won’t be as close as they were.

It’s pretty risky, but you could also try bonding closely with the boyfriend. Make your friend think that you click more with him than she does, and she might feel turned off.

18. Provide valuable resources

This is especially important if your best friend’s in an abusive relationship. Provide her with valuable resources, such as information about abuse, strategies to cope, and places she can go to for support.

Let her know that nothing she’s going through is her fault and that you’re always there for her no matter what. The most important thing you can do is stick with her, and be there to give her love and support.

19. It’s all about good intentions

At the end of the day, you need to have good intentions. You can only break up a couple if you’re doing it out of love for your friend, and a desire to improve her life. If you don’t have good intentions, you’re guaranteed to fail.

After all, this is your relationship with your best friend on the line. You don’t want to do anything that damages that relationship or makes your friend think that they’re not precious and important to you. [Read: The secrets to comfort and heal a friend after a breakup]

When is it right to break up a couple?

Whether you saw your best friend’s boyfriend with another girl, the guy is abusive, or you know that the guy is absolutely not right for her, there really are times when you have to take the bull by the horns and break up a couple.

However, doing this can be tricky and you run the risk of losing your friend, who may feel cheated, betrayed, and hurt.

So, before you even think about breaking up a couple, study what your real motives are and if your friend would really come out better after you meddle.

Examine what you and your friend will gain from this, or if you are just being selfish and looking after your own well-being.

If your reasons are questionable, then stop right now. Breaking up a couple, especially one in love, can have very unpleasant consequences for the couple and yourself. That precious relationship with your best friend might be in jeopardy if you get things wrong.

Put yourself in her shoes and ask: would I be grateful that my friend stepped in? Or, would I see through her supposed “good intentions”?

In short, it’s only right to break up a couple if you’re doing it for the right reasons. That means it has to be good for your friend, not just good for you. Ultimately, what you’re doing here should be a selfless act – not a selfish one. It should be constructive, and not destructive.

[Read: Undeniable signs a couple will break up in a few months]

While it’s not advisable to get between two people in love, sometimes you’ve got to do it. Especially if you’re the type who feels morally obligated to act when you see that there is something wrong. Be very careful and discreetly try out our tips to pry a problematic couple apart.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...