There is a fine line between cuddle buddy and f*ck buddy. Sometimes, people get carried away and their much-wanted cuddle buddy turns into something they dreaded all along: their f*ck buddy. If you fall into the category of only wanting someone to exchange body heat with—and not body fluids—these rules are for you.
Cuddle versus f*ck
For those of you who are unfamiliar with these terms, I’ll break them down for you.
Cuddle Buddy: a person whom you only snuggle or cuddle with. There is no relationship that extends beyond exchanging body heat and physical companionship.
F*ck Buddy: much like a cuddle buddy, only replace cuddling with sex. F*ck buddies are two people who are engaged in sexual acts, but are not involved in a relationship. [Read: The guide to turning your friend into your f*ck buddy]
The cardinal rules of having a cuddle buddy
Most people only want a cuddle buddy because they miss the physical contact and snuggling they used to have when they were in a relationship. However, they don’t want to have a relationship, due to other circumstances. Nor do they want to further things sexually.
If you’re someone who loves having a person to come over and cuddle with, while watching your favorite movie, but really want to avoid things going any further, these are the standard rules you need to follow.
#1 Clothes stay on. I don’t care how hot you two get, turn down the heat, turn on the air, remove the blankets, but keep your clothes on! Even removing a sweater can take things to a different level. And you want to avoid that level.
#2 NO FEELINGS. If there are any feelings involved, whatsoever, then you cannot be cuddle buddies. Feelings lead to sexual desire, and if you two are already snuggling up close, it will happen sooner or later. Stay away if you or they have feelings. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
#3 You cannot get jealous. Jealousy implies that you like them. If they’re sleeping with someone else and you know about it, it should not bother you—at all—if you two are just cuddle buddies. If you’re getting angry that someone else is sleeping with them, you must want to sleep with them—which may turn into a f*ck buddy situation, rather than a cuddle buddy one.
#4 Hand check. Keep your hands above the blankets at all times. Keep your hands away from any area that may be construed as inappropriate. Even putting your hands on their chest or stomach can cause all sorts of feelings to get stirred up down under. Stick to simple, PG-rated hand placement.
#5 Avoid movies with sex scenes. Watching sex scenes when you’re cuddling tends to make things a little steamier than you may want them to be. The visuals may get the two of you going, without even realizing it, and that can lead to bad decision-making. Try to watch movies with less-steamy sex scenes, or none at all.
#6 Don’t lay directly on top of them. I know it may be tempting for the girl to lay right on top of the guy—because for real, it is SO comfortable. But when you’re laying or have someone laying right on top, body parts can be in places that will make said body parts have a field day. Avoid this position in order to avoid turning into f*ck buddies. [Read: Are guy BFFs nothing but trouble for girls?]
#7 No dinner dates. Dates = feelings, and the impression that there will be more than just casual cuddling for the night. If they are your cuddle buddy, then that is ALL they are. Dates are reserved for people that you would someday like to have a relationship with—and that is not your cuddle buddy.
#8 Make your intentions clear. This should really be the first rule, so there’s no confusion. This rule is vitally important. If you’re inviting someone over *often* to cuddle, and they don’t know that’s ALL you want, things can get taken the wrong way, and they might end up trying for something more. Talk to them and let them know you only want to cuddle.
#9 Cut things off if they get handsy. If your cuddle buddy isn’t abiding by the “hands off” rule, then you need to cut things off. If all you’re looking for is somebody to cuddle, and they just keep trying to take things further, the rule is that you have to stop things and end your cuddle buddy relationship. [Read: 10 surefire ways to just stay friends even if you end up having sex]
#10 Cut things off if you start to have feelings—emotional or physical. I know, I know—we covered this. But I can’t stress this enough: if you’re starting to get feelings for your cuddle buddy, then you should just cut things off. Feelings almost always lead to something more… especially if you’re already in a position where the two of you are very close physically. If you want to remain cuddle buddies and not f*ck buddies or partners, you can’t have feelings. No emotions, no physical yearning—NO.
#11 If things go a little far for your liking, talk about it. If their or your hands end up making a detour down the wrong road, you should talk about it right away. When things get a little too close to f*ck buddy territory, and you don’t want it going there, talk to them and put a stop to it before it gets any further.
#12 If your mom would be uncomfortable, it’s too much. A good rule for not crossing that cuddle buddy line is this: if your mom would be uncomfortable to see the two of you cuddling, it is crossing that ever-fine line, and you should do some serious backtracking and cut back a little.
#13 Your cuddle buddy should NEVER be someone you’ve dated. Ex-boyfriends or girlfriends are off-limits as cuddle buddies… for obvious reasons. You’ve already been down a romantic and sexual road; you can never be “just cuddle buddies.” [Read: 16 non-sexual touches that’ll make the two of you feel overly connected and loved]
#14 Don’t introduce them to family. Introducing your cuddle buddy to the family is a no-no, unless you plan on it turning into a f*ck buddy relationship. Families are serious. You can’t expect to remain only cuddle buddies after they meet your family.
#15 If you ever want to date them, do NOT make them a cuddle buddy. Never make someone you’re genuinely interested in your cuddle buddy. That’s just looking for a way to put them in the wrong zone. Plus, then you clearly have feelings for them, which is also a no-no in cuddle buddy relationships—have I mentioned that?
[Read: The guide to cuddling, and the best positions for the perfect cuddle]
Having someone as your cuddle buddy can be one of the best things. They’re there to keep you warm, comfortable, and feeling cared about—even if it’s not romantic. That being said, you need to follow these rules in order to keep them away from the f*ck buddy zone!
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