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How to Wink like A Total Tease & Catch Anyone’s Eye in a Flirty Way

A carefully timed wink is the difference between a playful joke and a flirt. Learn how to wink like a pro and add this technique to your repertoire!

how to wink and flirt

Flirting doesn’t come easily to everyone. It’s somewhat an art form, and learning how to flirt will increase your chances of meeting that special someone in your life. It’s true that flirting is used to establish connections, show someone you’re even interested in them, and gauge how interested they are in you, too. By learning how to wink in a flirty and fun way, you’re halfway towards flirting proficiency!

It’s true that this is one of the most commonly used ways to flirt with someone and show your interest.

The only problem is, if it’s done incorrectly, it can be catastrophic to your chances. Why? Because it makes you look creepy.

[Read: 5 different types of flirting & how to pick one that works for you]

How did winking become flirtatious?

You may be wondering how closing one eyelid could have possibly become a symbol of flirting between two people.

It may seem a little weird when you think about it, but there is history surrounding the infamous wink you give that hottie at the bar.

It’s believed that winking came about because when we’re attracted to someone, our eyelids dilate, we get excited, and both of those increase our blinking rate.

From there, it simply caught on that when someone winks one eye at you, it means they like you. [Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]

Of course, it can also mean something altogether more humorous and innocent too. A playful joke can be accompanied by a wink.

It takes the joke from being possibly distasteful or taken the wrong way, and create a more fun-filled vibe around it.

Put simply, winks are used in many different situations but there’s no denying that it’s definitely one of the best flirting methods out there. It’s cheeky, it’s fun, it’s going to make people smile. So, learning how to wink is a must do. [Read: Flirty vs friendly and how to stop reading the wrong signs]

The importance of body language

Winking is part of body language. Now, your body speaks for you even if your words are trying to do the same thing.

For instance, you can have someone tell you that they’re perfectly fine, and you should take those words at face value, right?

What if their body language is telling you something else? What if their eyes are downcast and they refuse to make eye contact?

How about if they’re turning their body away from you when they speak or folding their arms over their body defensively? Perhaps they’re muttering their words?

Would these body language signs help you to believe their words or disbelieve them? Of course, you’ll tell that they’re lying and not fine at all! [Read: Sexual flirting – How to step up from regular flirting & naughty it]

That’s how important body language is.

By learning to become more aware of your own body language and what it’s telling those around you, you can avoid misunderstandings and really get your point across. You can also learn to understand those around you far better and increase your empathy towards them.

Practice the next time you’re out and about. Be mindful of what people are doing with their bodies and actions and see what you take from it. Then, try and be more mindful of your own body language and see what that tells you.

It’s not all about learning how to wink when it comes to flirting, it’s about using the whole process of body language too! [Read: Body language of women: 12 subtle cues to read her mind in no time]

How to wink and make anyone want you

Winking isn’t the be-all and end-all of flirting, but it definitely takes things up a notch. Now, if you’re really bad at this, it can be difficult to get your feelings out there to someone who’s across the room.

In fact, it can ruin your chances by making you look a little bit creepy and uninteresting. However, a carefully timed wink can be the difference between someone finding your attention fun and flirtatious, and downright weird.

If you really want to know what makes a wink especially effective, try these tips out for yourself. They’ll definitely increase your chances of catching the eye of the cutie across the way. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension the flirty way]

1. Confidence is key

The thing you really need to master when figuring out how to wink is ironclad confidence. Without having confidence, your effort will come across as weak and like you just have something in your eye – not cute.

You have to wink with confidence if you want to be taken seriously. Meaning, without having confidence behind your move, it won’t have nearly the same effect as it will if you have as much confidence as you can.

Just remember that you’re amazing, and they’ll realize it too. [Read: Does he like me? 18 signs to decode his body language]

2. Identify your strong eye

Everyone has an eye that winks easier than the other. If you use your weak eye to wink, you run the risk of making it look forced and unnatural and you may even close the other eye at the same time. Not effective.

Instead, use the eye that’s the most comfortable to wink with. When it looks more natural, it’ll come off a lot more confident and alluring.

If you can make it look effortless, it’ll be much more likely to win you that hottie across the way. [Read: 10 subtle flirting eye contact moves that really work]

3. Wait for strong eye contact

Don’t just throw winks in someone’s general direction and hope they see it. That’s the worst thing you can do when trying to wink and win someone over. It’s not confident, and it’ll be missed.

Wait until you actually have eye contact with someone before throwing them a sexy wink. If you make eye contact, just give them a small wink, a smile, and then hold it for another second before slowly looking away. That will make them come to you! [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him]

4. Make sure they’re alone

If you wink at someone within a group, it may be hard for those people to decipher who the wink was for. You never want that type of confusion when trying to make someone want you.

Therefore, you have to make sure they’re mostly by themselves or pulled away from the group they’re with.

That way, there’s no mistaking who you’re winking at when you finally send one their way. Confusion can really put a damper on that flirty vibe. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

5. Be mindful of your other body language

You can’t just send someone a wink across the room while you’re hunched over at a table and not at all engaged in them. You have to be careful what the rest of your body is doing when you’re sending that wink.

Why? Because a wink isn’t the same if the rest of the body doesn’t match its intentions. So face their direction, open your stance to be “inviting,” and give a little flirty smile. Make them interested and make them curious! [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]

6. Hold eye contact after the wink and then smile

Don’t just look away directly after winking at someone. Not only is that really confusing for them, but it’s like giving them ice after something hot. They won’t really know why you winked in the first place.

That being said, after you wink at them, hold their gaze for a moment. Not only will you be able to gauge their level of interest this way, but you’re opening a connection and holding it so you can make a move.

7. Practice makes perfect!

The saying, “practice makes perfect” is definitely something to remember when it comes to winking.

If you really want to make anyone want you, your winking game has to be strong. That means working hard to make sure it seems natural, effortless, and therefore, effective. [Read: How to talk to your crush and make them fall for you]

8. Ask for feedback from friends

It might be weird to ask your friends to watch you wink and then give you tips, but if you really want to make anyone want you, that’s the way to go. They can tell you what you’re doing wrong that you might not notice otherwise.

This way, you can perfect your wink so you’re sure it looks great and you’re giving off the vibe that you want to. You can also help your friends practice winking so everyone can be great at it!

9. Add in a fun pickup line

If you really want to make winking more fun and flirty and less direct, you can always do it while dropping a fun pick-up line. This helps to initiate a flirty conversation while also giving them the hint that you’re interested.

As long as you don’t use any lame, overused pickup lines, you’ll be safe. Make it a funny one with a punch line so your wink doesn’t seem too out of place. [Read: 70 hilariously cheesy and flirty pick up lines that’ll leave anyone laughing]

10. Don’t be excessive with your winking!

If winking worked for you, don’t keep doing it over and over again in the same sitting. Obviously, if you keep winking for no reason, someone is going to think there’s something wrong with your eye, or it’ll start to get a little weird for them.

Avoid winking more than twice during an initial meeting with someone if you really want to make anyone want you.

11. Know that winking can actually appear sexual

It’s important to know that winking can occasionally be quite suggestive and sexual when used in a particular way. For instance, if you bite your lip, smile and then wink, you’re basically giving them the come-on.

Be careful if that’s not what you’re trying to do, or if it’s the first time you’ve met someone. You could unintentionally offend or come over as extremely creepy! [Read: Lip biting and the scientific explanations behind why it’s so sexy]

Is winking the flirting be-all and end-all?

No! Winking is just one part of the story. Don’t focus too much on just winking because you could end up missing out on some very useful tactics.

Eye contact, smiling, flirtatious remarks, being just slightly touchy and tactile, and even giggling can be flirtatious. If you just stick to winking, they may end up thinking that you really do just have something in your eye!

Use winking as part of your whole flirting routine and it will serve you well. It can be a cheeky grin with a wink, or maybe even a flirty smile with a wink; it works in so many ways.

The other great thing about winking as a flirting method is that if it doesn’t work out, you can totally backtrack. It’s innocent enough to be taken as cheekiness and not just downright flirtiness!

[Read: 25 things you do that’ll make you more likable and draw people to you]

Winking is actually one of the most common flirting body language moves you can make. So you really need to know how to wink effectively if you want to make anyone want you.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...