Telling anyone something personal makes you feel vulnerable. So, learning how to tell your crush you like them without too much fear is a must-have.
Learning how to tell your crush you like them is necessary if you ever want to move from the pining stage to the dating stage, or moving on stage, depending on how it all pans out.
Rejection is an awful feeling, and if you have ever felt it before, you do not want to feel it ever again. Without taking that risk, how will you ever move forward or find out if your crush likes you back?
How to tell your crush you like them without nerves
I’ll be honest, telling your crush you like them will always include some sort of nerves, but hopefully, with my tips, you can work up the confidence to do it without wanting to barf.
Before getting into the hows and what exactly to say, telling your crush you like them requires a certain mindset. You cannot go into it thinking you’ll be rejected or even fearing rejection. You also cannot expect them to like you back.
Pretty much, you have to go into it with no expectation except sharing how you feel. You can hope for the best outcome, but be prepared for any.
Still struggling? Here is a helpful metaphor. If you go bungee jumping or skydiving, you know the risks. You feel the fear. But before you jump, you block those thoughts. You think about the freedom, the fun, and the adrenaline you get when flying through the air.
When figuring out how to tell your crush you like them, you can choose the route that you feel most comfortable with. You can make a big romantic gesture. You can be subtle. Or you can just blurt it out.
Which is best for you?
#1 Be straight forward. Sometimes the best thing to do is just bite the bullet, rip off the Band-Aid, and do it. Sure, it can feel awkward, but once all is said and done you will be so relieved, no matter the outcome.
#2 Text it. We’re all a bunch of texters now, texting your feelings to your crush is nothing new. If you know you’ll wimp out in person texting is always an option or a backup plan. I wouldn’t just send a random text saying “I have a crush on you,” but next time you are having even the slightest bit of a flirty conversation, let them know.
#3 Hint at your feelings. If you are not a super blunt person, you may want to take your time and leave breadcrumbs for your crush to find out how you feel. Give them compliments, let them know you’re single, or bring them their coffee.
By slowly introducing behaviors and conversations that are more romantic than platonic, it will come out naturally.
#4 Flirt. Sure, sometimes flirting is not enough to get the whole message across, but if they like you back they will be looking for any sign you might be interested.
Touch their arm when you’re talking, make eye contact, use body language, do whatever feels right in the moment.
#5 Ask them out. Without saying the words, “I like you,” to your crush, letting them know you like them is a lot easier. You can get around that sentence by sharing your interest in another way. Invite them out for drinks at a more romantic restaurant than your normal bar and grill. They should get the hint pretty quickly. [Read: How to ask your crush to hang out over text]
#6 Make a move. This can be risky, but if you are really all in, actions speak louder than words. Obviously, do not just grab your crush and kiss them. That is weird and creepy.
But, if you are chatting at a party and things feel like they are going their or you gave them a ride home and the vibe is there, give it a go.
#7 Plan a gesture. This is not my style as I am much more private with my relationships, but if you know your crush is into rom-coms and cute promposal videos, plan something cute.
Maybe don’t do it at work, especially if there are office policies against dating, but leaving rose petals and a note on their car asking them out is more than a lot of people are used to. The flattery and effort gestures like this take can open their eyes to you even if they hadn’t thought about it before. [Read: 15 hilariously unique ways to ask someone out on a date]
#8 Get a pep talk from friends. Boosting your own confidence is not always easy. But, if you let your friends know you are thinking about letting your crush know you like them, they will pep you up and give you the self-esteem you need.
They will remind you how amazing you are no matter the result. They tell you that you deserve to be happy and that taking this risk is a step towards that. Your friends can really help to nudge you in the right direction.
#9 Do not back out. How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ll do it today,” and then came home without telling your crush you like them? This leads to another night watching The Bachelor with a carton of ice cream.
Set a date for yourself and stick to it. Set an alarm on your phone if you have to or get your most inspirational and supportive friend to remind you to do it.
#10 Do it privately. Some people may appreciate a public announcement of your feelings. That can be intriguing and romantic to some. But others find it cringy and it can be awkward if the feelings aren’t returned.
Instead of just focusing on your comfort when telling your crush you like them, think about theirs too. Are they private and shy or outspoken and open? Decide what is best for you both. If you are in a group setting, pull them aside to chat. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]
#11 Joke about it. If you are super nervous and wondering how to tell your crush you like them, go in with a joke. This way if the outcome is not what you hoped for, you can laugh your way out.
You can say something like I would ask you out if you weren’t a Red Sox fan. If their reaction is pleasant you can say, “but I can overlook it if you’re interested.” And if they don’t seem interested just back out.
#12 Breathe. Remember to breathe throughout the conversation: when approaching them, while talking, while waiting for them to answer. You would be surprised by how much just a bit of oxygen will keep you calm.
#13 Give them time. Your crush may be interested in you. If you caught them off guard, they might need time to decide if they want to go out with you. They may be on the rebound or just in shock.
#14 Be respectful. Whether they tell you they are dating someone when you know they aren’t or if they say they don’t date people at work, just let it be. They are trying to let you down easy. They aren’t lying to make you feel stupid, but to cushion the blow to your ego.
#15 Decide where to go now. So they like you back? Congratulations! Now what? Are you going to start dating? Are you going to go for drinks?
What if they let you down easy? Will it be weird seeing them, being friends, or working together? Make sure they know you respect them and just wanted to know one way or the other so you could move on and not ask what if. If you need some time apart to get over them, let them know that too.