Home  >  Flirting Flings  >  Get Flirty

How to Ask Your Crush Out: A Guide to Fix the Jitters & Make a Move

If you’re wondering how to ask your crush out, it’s not as nerve-wracking as you think. It’s just as easy as riding a bike when you see how simple it is!

how to ask your crush out

Asking anyone out is tough, but learning how to ask your crush out will make nerves run even higher. This is someone you have feelings for, whether these are serious feelings or admiration. It’s one of the most nervous things to do, especially when you really like them and hope they say yes! You’re probably sweating a bit.

You try to build up the nerve to ask them out but when you’re around them, the time doesn’t seem right or you just lose the courage. This is a universal problem. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this problem.

In fact, all of us have been through this, and it’s normal to feel this way! Even people with great levels of confidence struggle when it comes to knowing how to ask your crush out.

Why learning how to ask your crush out is so hard

On the surface, it sounds like asking your crush out should be easy or at least straightforward enough. But, the thing about asking out your crush is that you are showing your feelings. You’re literally getting yourself out there and taking a chance on them, hoping they say yes to a date with you.

It’s implied that you like them so there’s always this fear of rejection or worse, you’ll embarrass yourself in front of them. But, if you don’t take that risk and let your feelings show, how will you ever know what would have happened? You cannot live your life in constant fear of rejection or awkwardness.

It’s not or never, so better take that chance while you still can. No matter the outcome, knowing how to ask your crush out will build up your self-esteem and help you live your life fully. [Read: Are you accidentally sabotaging your own love life?]

Why is it important to learn how to ask your crush out?

It’s not a life or death kind of thing, but it’s definitely going to help your dating life. By knowing how to ask them out, you’re opening yourself up to many possibilities! It doesn’t matter whether they said yes or no; what matters is you tried your best. You’ll never know if they feel the same if you never took the chance, right?

This way, you’ll never look back and regret the chances you failed to take because of that fear. What if they like you back, but you never had the skill or courage to ask them out?

That’s a date you’re completely missing out on. Think of the possibilities that could happen if you just took the leap of faith. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying “yes”]

How to ask your crush out

Before learning how to ask your crush out, you have to try to get over the fear and anxiety that goes with it. You do not have power through or ignore it. Rather, take that fear and form it into a reminder that taking this chance is worth it no matter what happens. Once you pass that bridge, you should find it easy going forward. 

1. Breathe

It’s so crazy how something that literally comes so naturally to us can just be completely forgotten due to nerves. Don’t forget to breathe! Your crush is just as human as you, and it’s just like you’re talking to another person. How else are you going to successfully ask them out if your anxiety is over the roof?

Right before approaching your crush to ask them out, take a deep breath in and out. The more oxygen in your brain, the better it will all go. [Read: 14 easy mantras that will transform your life]

2. Get a pep talk

Even with the realization that asking out your crush is a bold move that you should make, we can still second guess ourselves. Give yourself that pep talk to boost your ego and confidence before talking to your crush. Remind yourself that you look good, that you’re a decent human being, that you’re funny, and all your other best traits.

Or, you can also have a friend hype you up and remind you of the best things about yourself. They’ll let you know you can take a few minutes to ask out your crush, and they’ll say yes.

If they don’t, you will survive and move on like a champ! Never underestimate the power of a good pep talk from a good friend. [Read: How to welcome positive energy and vibes into your life]

3. Remain calm

Calmness is a very attractive trait on someone, so you need to stay calm and collected as possible. You can’t show who you really are if you’re awkward and anxious while asking them out. Although we all have them, remaining calm for those few minutes is important.

Showing too many nerves can make you look unsure. Confidence is always an attractive trait and even if you don’t feel confident, just fake it till you make it! All you need are a few moments of bravery and you could have a first date around the corner. Being calm is how to ask your crush out in the best way possible. 

4. Be specific

When you are nervous to ask your crush out, you may try to be subtle and ambiguous about it. Be specific about the dates in hanging out if you want to know how to ask your crush out. Otherwise, they might not even be aware you’re asking them out on a date, especially if you’re using the words “chill” or “hang out.”

Without nailing down a time and place during the initial ask out, things tend to get canceled or postponed. If you really want this date to happen, suggest a specific date idea.

Without nailing down a time and place during the initial ask out, things tend to get canceled or postponed. If you really want this date to happen, suggest a specific date idea.

5. Be direct

It can feel like you’re less vulnerable if you beat around the bush. If you ask your crush out to drinks after work or to hang out, you might feel like you didn’t put your feelings out there. Similar to the previous point before this, be direct in asking them on a date.

Make sure they know you’re not going as friends, and you’re not just chilling at someplace. If you don’t tell them you’re interested in them romantically, they could get the wrong idea. As scary as this feels, you need to put your feelings out there. [Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

6. Read the situation

Are they slouching while crossing their arms? Did they smile when they saw you approaching? Do they have a nervous smile? Or are they genuinely in a good mood? You do not want to ask out someone that is not in the right state of mind, and sometimes reading the unspoken parts of a situation is what is needed.

If they’re in a bad mood, maybe reschedule the asking out for later when they’re in a better mood. You don’t want to risk getting rejected just because it’s a bad day for them.

7. Own your feelings

Don’t ever second guess yourself. You can work up the guts to approach your crush with plans to ask them out, but then fall back. You may try to act as if their response means nothing to you. You’re allowed to show your feelings, regardless if they say yes or not.

If they say yes, don’t be afraid to show your joy around them. If not, you don’t have to take back your offer. Own the way you feel. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying yes]

8. Avoid technology

Texting and social media may be some of the most common ways to ask your crush out nowadays, but there is a lack of connection. You can’t ask them out on a date over chat or text; it won’t be as meaningful. Grantees that it’s easier to take rejections over text, but you need to ask them out personally!

There’s a connection that comes with communicating your interest in person. It may seem scarier than sending a text, but it’s also more rewarding!

9. Make a plan.

Have a date planned in your mind. You don’t have to have reservations, but you need at least a rough plan. Remember what we mentioned about being specific and direct? The same applies to planning a date. It has to be well-thought of and absolutely not rushed.

Take time to think about what they like and dislike *if you already know,* and take things from there. Having a plan lets you be prepared and less nervous.

10. Reward yourself.

No matter if your crush accepted your date or not, you should be proud of yourself! This is always something worth celebrating. It’s a big step for your confidence and your dating future, after all. There’s something to be said about your bravery and courage the moment you successfully manage to ask your crush out.

Knowing you have the ability and courage to ask your crush out can carry you into your next anxiety-filled dating situation. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your own breakups and rejections]

11. Respect their answer.

No matter their response or excuse, just respect it and move forward. Now you know whether or not they are interested, and you can move forward. Resenting them or being bitter will just prove their answer further and that they were right to say no.

Be mature and collected in accepting their rejection and move on. It’s easier said than done, but you must respect their answer.  [Read: How to respond to rejection and do the right thing]

12. Befriend your crush – but don’t get friend-zoned

It’s much more nerve-wracking to ask a complete stranger who you’re admiring from afar than to ask your crush who’s also become your friend. It’s important to build some form of connection with them before even asking them out in the first place.

It reduces your anxiety and nervousness, and it can also increase your chances of them saying yes. Just make sure not to wait too late in asking them out, as you might get stuck in the friend zone! [Read: How to escape the friend zone: 13 actions that make you desirable]

13. Use humor and wit

You really don’t need to be all that serious when asking them out on a date. Even if your emotions are all over the place, you can inject humor here and there. In fact, they’ll appreciate this since you’re making them laugh with whatever joke or cheesy pick-up line you come up with.

Don’t be too serious in asking them out; feel free to use your humor if you want to know how to ask your crush out. [Read: 12 types of humor and how it affects relationships]

14. Pick the right time to ask them

Timing is really everything in asking someone out. Don’t pick a time where they’re obviously occupied with something or they’re hanging with their friends.

Ask them out when they’re alone and when you notice they have the free time. That’s your window of opportunity to talk to them and muster the courage to ask them out!

15. Be flexible

Even if we said to be direct and specific, if they say no because they’re busy or occupied that day, feel free to come up with a suggestion. You might actually work something out and push through with the date.

When they see that you’re able to work around their schedule, they might even be pleased with this and anticipate the date further!

[Read: How to talk to your crush: The secrets to make them fall for you]

So, how to ask your crush out?

It can be the scariest and most nervous thing to ask your crush out, but it’s very rewarding, regardless if they said yes or no. You either get a date or the satisfying feeling that you conquered your fear of rejection!

I hope you now know how to ask your crush out successfully. We assure you that your dating life is going to go smoothly once you learn this important life skill!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...