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How to Ask Someone Out: 16 Flirty Moves for Strangers and Friends

how to ask someone out

Asking someone out for the first time can be nerve wracking. These 16 flirty ideas will wow your crush when trying to figure out how to ask someone out.

If you are thinking about how to ask someone out, you want to prepare a little. Just running up to someone and shouting “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!?” into their face is unlikely to get you the desired response.

People like to feel special. They want to feel secure, and they appreciate it when someone makes them feel desired and wanted. Do all of this when you’re asking someone out and they are much more likely to say yes.

Of course, it’s always a good idea to have a plan in mind of what to do if they say yes or no. If you get the response you hope for, try to keep it casual and make sure you set it up so you’ve got their number or plan arrangements then and there.

Similarly, if they say no, try to be cool. Don’t get annoyed or burst into tears. Everyone gets rejected from time to time, just remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Believe in yourself—whatever the answer

Before you go for it, try to keep calm. While you might have had a crush for what feels like forever, and built up the courage to do it, just remember that asking someone out on a date should be a casual thing. You aren’t asking them for a limb or to marry you. Try to keep things in perspective. Acting cool, calm, and collected shows your confidence—and that itself is really attractive.

Believe in yourself too! Visualizing them saying yes or imagining the two of you having a great time on your first date helps. If you feel shaky, timid, or uncertain, this comes across and has a negative effect.

How to ask someone out – 16 fun and flirty ways

When you are ready to go for it, make sure you are clear and specific. It can be easy to beat around the bush or ask them in a way that you can pretend that’s not really what you were doing if they say no. That’s really just the coward’s way out!

If you are too vague, it makes your potential date feel nervous. Also, they might say yes without knowing what they are really saying yes to, only to then decline the offer later when they find out. Learn how to ask someone out the right way, and save yourself the disappointment—make it clear that it’s a date, and that it will be just the two of you.

Now that you feel confident and ready, just what are the best ways to ask someone out? Here are 16 great ideas bound to go down well!

#1 Write them a note. If you want to be cute, why not ask them out by passing them a handwritten note? This could be on the back of a napkin in a coffee shop or passed to them via friends. It takes it back to an old school, classroom kind of vibe and is sure to charm them right away. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

#2 Smile at them. There is nothing quite as lovely as someone giving you a huge smile. If you are not feeling confident about asking someone out, why not see if you catch their eye and then deliver them a fantastic, beaming smile.

If you do this and they smile right back at you, you know you are onto something and should consider biting the bullet and going up to them to ask them on a proper date.

#3 Buy them a drink. Again, if you want to use tried and tested methods, then offering to buy someone a drink or having a drink sent over is a great way to initiate the conversation that leads to you asking someone on a date. If the person you are interested in is interested too, they’ll no doubt thank you or invite you to join them. [Read: How to approach women – 15 tips you absolutely need to know]

#4 Pay for their coffee. Coffee shops are a great place to hang out, but do you know how to ask someone out, out of the blue? For starters, if you spot a cute guy or girl in line at a coffee store, why not offer to pay for their coffee?

This way you get talking to them, and you’ve already bought them their very first gift! They’ll know you are interested right away, and if they feel the same way, they’ll no doubt accept.

#5 Send them a text. If you feel particularly nervous about asking this person out, then you don’t always have to do it face to face. It can be scary if you aren’t sure whether that person will say yes or not, and the horrible pause where you might get rejected is sometimes too much to bear!

This is understandable. If you aren’t sure and you’ve got their number take all the pressure off by coming up with a cute and funny text to send them instead! *Warning: It doesn’t make the waiting any easier though!* [Read: Texting your crush: A step-by-step guide to doing it right]

#6 Send them a letter. Want to know how to ask someone out the old-fashioned way? Be super cute and send them a letter to ask them out! This one takes a bit more effort and is a little cheesy, but if you think the person you are asking would find it really romantic, then you’ll be in their good books right away!

#7 Buy them flowers. Everyone loves to feel special. A lovely bunch of bright blooms brings cheer to anyone’s day. Buying or sending them flowers makes them feel special and flattered—you are more likely to get that big fat yes!

#8 Surprise them. Show up somewhere they wouldn’t expect to see you *in a non-stalker way, obviously* and surprise them by asking them on a date then and there!

#9 Plan a whole day. Make sure you know how much effort you put into it and how much you like them by asking them to come on a whole special date day with you. Have an excellent plan in place that is sure to impress them if they ask for more details! [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]

#10 Ask the person where they are from. Another simple ice-breaker that helps you out if you are about to ask out a total stranger. Casual conversation starters are sometimes the best way to get the vibes on whether a person has reciprocal feelings, so if you worry about rejection this might be the way to go. [Read: Approach anxiety – 16 effortless ways to conquer it in a few days]

#11 Ask the person what they are reading. Like that cute girl sitting and reading on a bench? Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading. Another easy way to get the conversation going.

#12 Compliment what the person is wearing. Everyone likes to be flattered and feel beautiful so giving your potential date a fabulous compliment immediately makes them feel special, and way more likely to say yes.

#13 Find something in common with them. People are more likely to say yes to dates that they think they will enjoy. Try to find out what you have in common with the person you hope to date before you ask them out. This way you plan and suggest something that you know they’ll be interested in. [Read: How to start a conversation with a crush and woo them]

#14 Find out their favorite food or restaurant. Find out what they like to eat and either suggest that you take them to their favorite restaurant or cook them a home-cooked meal full of all their most loved dishes!

#15 Ask them for the time. Wondering how to ask someone out when you bump into them on a street? Ask them for the time. It just gets the conversation started, and if they look like they aren’t interested, then you haven’t put yourself out there too much. It’s a win-win! If you get a smile and their body language is positive, then you simply take it from there. [Read: How to be flirty while maintaining class and poise]

#16 Write them a song. If you are musically inclined, why not write them a cute and funny song about why you like them? Perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is sure to utterly charm some people!

[Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]

So there you have it, now that you know how to ask someone out, be it a friend or a total stranger, which move will you pick?!

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Bethany Locke
Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...
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