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20 Okayish White Lies & Things You Should NEVER Lie About on a First Date

Ever been on a first date and had to lie for fear of what they might think? If so, you’re not alone. Here are 10 lies you’ve probably told before!

first date white lies

Lying on a first date can seem taboo. Aren’t you supposed to be yourself and let them decide whether or not they like you? Well, sure. But if they get scared off before they even have the chance to get to know you, then that rule shouldn’t apply.

First dates are extraordinarily important. This is a time when you really get to know someone, and it’s kind of the tell-all moment. Will you like them enough for a second date, or would you rather climb out the bathroom window, change your phone number, and skip town for fear of ever seeing their face again?

Even though you should always be yourself, there are limitations on what you should disclose to someone that you’re on a first date with. I know I’ve told a lie or two on the first date, just because I didn’t want them to think I was crazy; I saved that for our first fight.

The things to lie about on a first date and the acceptable white lies

These lies are not things that are excruciatingly important in determining if you two are a match made in heaven.

They’re simply white lies that will bypass awkwardness and potential bad-decision-making on their end. We’ve put together this little list so you can know for sure if you should lie about these on a first date! [Read: 25 surprising secrets we all hide from our partners]

1. Your crazy ex

Exes aren’t really subjects that should be brought up much during a first date in the first place, but if the subject comes up, lie. Don’t tell them that your ex-girlfriend tried to run you over with a car.

Don’t tell them that your ex-boyfriend stalked you and had a meltdown that landed him in a psych ward. Just lie and say you guys grew apart—or some other, super corny reason.

Oftentimes, when people hear that you had an ex that is less than stable, they question why they’re unstable and if you’re the cause. It also quickly associates dating you with being crazy, and that is definitely not something most people want in their lives.

2. Your sex number

Why this would even come up on a first date is beyond me, but I know that it has and I know that it is definitely something you should lie about.

You can make the argument that lying about it, only to reveal the real number later on if you two become a couple, can cause some issues, but by then you’re already kind of stuck with each other.

If your number is rather high, people will be turned off by it or may be intimidated. Conversely, if your number is really low—specifically 0—then people can feel too much pressure. Making it a nice, round, semi-low number is best. [Read: Your dating history – Why exes should you talk about?]

3. Creepy fetishes

Nobody wants to know, off the bat, about any of your weird fetishes. Fetishes—especially if they’re really out there and seemingly weird—can change the way someone sees you, if they don’t know you better.

Save your balloon and doll fetish until this person is already so far in that they can’t turn back. Just tell them that you don’t have any fetishes…that you know of. Otherwise, you may not get them to stay until dessert. [Read: 11 most common fetishes people have + 5 super weird ones]

4. Your loud and out-there family

Families can be intimidating by themselves. Add in the fact that your family is really loud, obnoxious, and slightly crazy, and you have a recipe that’ll send your date running the first chance they get!

If asked what your family is like, just respond by saying something along the lines of them being pretty normal. This will stop any further questioning and they won’t be scared off.

5. All of your strange collectables

If you’ve got a closet full of porcelain dolls…please keep that to yourself. If you collect a snippet of hair from your enemies, don’t tell them about it. Some collectables are just fine, but others can make you seem strange and creepy.

Also, if they’re afraid of dolls *ahem, like me* then telling them you have a closet full of them is basically the same thing as saying you eat human brains for breakfast. It’s a quick way for people to see you in a different—not good—light.

6. How attracted to them you were at first sight

“It was love at first sight!”

This phrase should NEVER be said on a first date. Obviously you were attracted to them, because you wound up on a first date, but never let them know just how attracted to them you are.

Even if you swear that the world stopped spinning, your heart stopped beating, and you stopped breathing, telling them this will not be flattering.

It will be creepy. Some flattery is fine, but too much can lead to someone being less attracted to you. It may make them think that you like them more than they like you, and that can be intimidating! [Read: 20 little things you need to know to perfect your first date conversation]

7. Where you see yourself in 5 years

“With a house and a spouse and a baby, just living happily ever after, together, forever!”

No. Don’t tell them that. They will feel pressured to meet your needs and may ultimately make the decision that you want more than they can offer.

Just tell them that you want a house and a good job that you enjoy. Those are easy and realistic expectations that they can live up to! It’ll put them at ease.

8. How close you are with your parents

Whether you’re really close to them, or not close at all, just lie and tell them you keep in touch. If they know you’re super close with your parents, it could mean that you’re needy—something that can throw people off.

On the other hand, if you say you’re not close with them at all, it could make them think that you’re not very family-oriented. Both of these are not good things and could potentially cost you a second date.

9. Whether or not you can do your own laundry

Honestly, if I’m on a date with a guy and he tells me he can’t do his own laundry, I don’t even make the effort to sneak out. I just tell him I have to leave.

Someone who is your age and can’t even bother to do their own laundry—or worse, doesn’t even know HOW to do their own laundry—is not going to be seen as someone worth your time. Doing your own chores is called being responsible.

If you don’t even know how to, then you may be seen as an irresponsible person who will have to be taken care of. And not everyone will like that. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the first date]

10. If you live with your parents

If you’re living at home with your parents, please lie about it. At least at first. It won’t matter what your reasons are for living at home. If someone hears that, then they’ll immediately picture you being 40 years old, still taking up space in your parents’ basement, all alone.

Nobody wants someone who doesn’t have the motivation to get out and be on their own. Just tell them you’ve got a place so they don’t automatically check you off their list. You can explain later, after they’ve gotten to know you.

[Read: 10 things you should never, ever lie about on a first date]

Sometimes, you just don’t have any other option but to tell a little white lie on the first date. These lies are among the few that you should actually be telling. There’s nothing wrong with evading someone’s judgmental stare until they get to know you better!

Can you lie your way though a first date?

Sure, telling a white lie here and there on a first date is no biggie. But if you go too far, it can end up being more trouble than it’s worth. There are certain things that you would actually benefit from lying about, but there are other things that you just should tell the truth about.

One time, a guy I started dating tried lying to me about smoking cigarettes *a deal breaker for me*. It’s not like he tried to quit and was hiding it, oh no – I could smell it.

The scent was so pungent that when I hugged him, it was like I was hugging a walking ashtray – gross!

On our first date, he told me that he hated smoking and that it was disgusting. I thought, “This is awesome! Finally someone who shares my views.”

But obviously, that was not the case. Was he a great guy? Yeah, absolutely. But I can’t get over the odor that comes with people who smoke. I just can’t do it.

If he would’ve been honest right from the start, then we could have saved ourselves some heartache when I finally told him I couldn’t do it any longer. [Read: 60 perfect get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]

The things you should never lie about on a first date

First dates are important. You never know where something might lead from there. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of all of the very important information you should never lie about when you’re on a first date with someone. If you’re guilty of these, then you should set them straight!

1. Your name

For some reason, people feel the need to lie about their name on a first date. I don’t know why – maybe it’s because it’s easier to disappear if things go south. Regardless, there are many reasons why you should never lie about this.

Firstly, they will notice that you don’t respond to that name. Secondly, if things do go smoothly and you decide to give them your real name, they’re going to be so turned off that you lied to them in the first place that you may have ruined whatever chances you had with them. [Read: 10 little things that are sure to turn off your date in no time]

2. Your age

Yes, ladies, I’m talking to you! Don’t go around telling people that you’re 5 years younger than you are. The truth is, it’s much too hard to keep track of, and you’ll eventually let it slip anyways.

Not only will they eventually find out that you lied, but they’ll be turned off by the lack of self-confidence as well. Nobody who truly wants to be out on that date with you is going to give two flying craps about how old you really are. [Read: Age gaps and why it’s the new trend in relationships]

3. Whether you’ve got kids or not

This is a big one! Sometimes, people don’t know how to bring it up, but you need to mention it if you have kids. If you’re asked and you say no, but you really do have kids, then you can never introduce them!

Either that, or you’ll have to admit that you hid your kids from them, and that’s just sad in and of itself. Nobody likes someone who lies about their own children.

You should never be ashamed of having children. Anyone who is up for the challenge will stick around and anyone who isn’t, well… that’s their loss.

4. Your job

Why would you lie about the thing that you spend 70% of your time doing?! Your job is who you are at that moment. Even if you don’t want to stay on that path forever, you should never lie about your current occupation.

People will understand if you’re biding your time for your next job, or saving up to go back to school and do something different. They just want to know what you’re up to all day. It makes a big difference in the way they see you. [Read: The 10 sexiest male jobs that impress women easily]

5. Whether you’re really single or not

Hello, all of you nasty cheaters! I’m talking to you! Don’t tell someone that you’re completely single when you’ve got someone making you dinner at home. Don’t tell someone that you’re divorced if you’re still just “thinking” about separating.

Even if you’re dating other people, but not in anything serious yet, don’t lie about that. Tell your date exactly that. It will clear the air and leave much less room for confusion on their end. It will also ease your own conscience.

6. Whether you smoke or not

Yes, I absolutely did throw this on here because there are people out there who have very strong feelings about smoking, and can’t date someone who does it. Not only will this clear the air, but it also makes room for the other person to voice their opinions about it.

If the other person is really into you, then maybe they can work with it and maybe they can’t. It’s best to get something like this out on the table as soon as possible.

7. Hobbies and interests

Why lie about this in the first place? This is who you are at your core. The things you love to do and the things that you’re passionate about should never be lied about to someone else – even if you’re afraid of judgment.

Hobbies and interests are what connect people. If you lie about them, then how can your date tell if they really like you or not? And please, for the love of everything good in the world, DO NOT tell them that you’re interested in something that you’re not, just because they are. [Read: 50 relationship questions that’ll reveal your compatibility instantly]

8. Your pets

Pets can be an important factor in a budding relationship. Maybe not the most important, but still. Some people have allergies, and it’s best to talk about pets early on so they don’t think it’s you that they’re allergic to after spending the evening sneezing!

9. Where you see yourself in 5 years

This can be a difficult topic of discussion, because on one hand, you should tell them about your goals and wishes in life. But on the other hand, you don’t want to freak them out by divulging the fact that you want a family, a spouse, a home, and a dream job, all within the next 5 years.

I would stick to discussing career and personal goals only. If you see yourself as CEO of a huge corporation in 5 years, you can tell them that! There’s no point in lying about your goals career-wise. [Read: 20 little details to perfect your first date conversation]

10. Your intentions

Are you just looking for a fling, or are you in it for the long haul? Make sure your date knows which one you’re after, because it may not be what they’re looking for. I don’t mean that you should confess your undying love for them and your need to have babies ASAP.

I mean that you should just let them know what you’re expecting out of being in the dating world. Whether you’re just checking things out but don’t want to settle down anytime soon, or you’re totally ready to commit, your date should know which one you’re after on the first date.

First dates are all about getting to know someone and deciding whether or not you want to be with them, and vice versa. It’s nearly impossible to do that if you’re lying about who you are as a person. Take it from us, and never lie about the things mentioned above on a first date.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer, and the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degr...
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