Lying on a first date can seem taboo. Aren’t you supposed to be yourself and let them decide whether or not they like you? Well, sure. But if they get scared off before they even have the chance to get to know you, then that rule shouldn’t apply.
First dates are extraordinarily important. This is a time when you really get to know someone, and it’s kind of the tell-all moment. Will you like them enough for a second date, or would you rather climb out the bathroom window, change your phone number, and skip town for fear of ever seeing their face again?
Even though you should always be yourself, there are limitations on what you should disclose to someone that you’re on a first date with. I know I’ve told a lie or two on the first date, just because I didn’t want them to think I was crazy; I saved that for our first fight.
10 things to lie about on a first date
These lies are not things that are excruciatingly important in determining if you two are a match made in heaven. They’re simply white lies that will bypass awkwardness and potential bad-decision-making on their end. We’ve put together this little list so you can know for sure if you should lie about these on a first date! [Read: 25 surprising secrets we all hide from our partners]
#1 Your crazy ex. Exes aren’t really subjects that should be brought up much during a first date in the first place, but if the subject comes up, lie. Don’t tell them that your ex-girlfriend tried to run you over with a car. Don’t tell them that your ex-boyfriend stalked you and had a meltdown that landed him in a psych ward. Just lie and say you guys grew apart—or some other, super corny reason.
Oftentimes, when people hear that you had an ex that is less than stable, they question why they’re unstable and if you’re the cause. It also quickly associates dating you with being crazy, and that is definitely not something most people want in their lives.
#2 Your sex number. Why this would even come up on a first date is beyond me, but I know that it has and I know that it is definitely something you should lie about. You can make the argument that lying about it, only to reveal the real number later on if you two become a couple, can cause some issues, but by then you’re already kind of stuck with each other.
If your number is rather high, people will be turned off by it or may be intimidated. Conversely, if your number is really low—specifically 0—then people can feel too much pressure. Making it a nice, round, semi-low number is best. [Read: Your dating history – Why exes should you talk about?]
#3 Creepy fetishes. Nobody wants to know, off the bat, about any of your weird fetishes. Fetishes—especially if they’re really out there and seemingly weird—can change the way someone sees you, if they don’t know you better.
Save your balloon and doll fetish until this person is already so far in that they can’t turn back. Just tell them that you don’t have any fetishes…that you know of. Otherwise, you may not get them to stay until dessert. [Read: 11 most common fetishes people have + 5 super weird ones]
#4 Your loud and out-there family. Families can be intimidating by themselves. Add in the fact that your family is really loud, obnoxious, and slightly crazy, and you have a recipe that’ll send your date running the first chance they get!
If asked what your family is like, just respond by saying something along the lines of them being pretty normal. This will stop any further questioning and they won’t be scared off.
#5 All of your strange collectables. If you’ve got a closet full of porcelain dolls…please keep that to yourself. If you collect a snippet of hair from your enemies, don’t tell them about it. Some collectables are just fine, but others can make you seem strange and creepy.
Also, if they’re afraid of dolls *ahem, like me* then telling them you have a closet full of them is basically the same thing as saying you eat human brains for breakfast. It’s a quick way for people to see you in a different—not good—light.
#6 How attracted to them you were at first sight. “It was love at first sight!” This phrase should NEVER be said on a first date. Obviously you were attracted to them, because you wound up on a first date, but never let them know just how attracted to them you are. Even if you swear that the world stopped spinning, your heart stopped beating, and you stopped breathing, telling them this will not be flattering.
It will be creepy. Some flattery is fine, but too much can lead to someone being less attracted to you. It may make them think that you like them more than they like you, and that can be intimidating! [Read: 20 little things you need to know to perfect your first date conversation]
#7 Where you see yourself in 5 years. “With a house and a spouse and a baby, just living happily ever after, together, forever!” No. Don’t tell them that. They will feel pressured to meet your needs and may ultimately make the decision that you want more than they can offer.
Just tell them that you want a house and a good job that you enjoy. Those are easy and realistic expectations that they can live up to! It’ll put them at ease.
#8 How close you are with your parents. Whether you’re really close to them, or not close at all, just lie and tell them you keep in touch. If they know you’re super close with your parents, it could mean that you’re needy—something that can throw people off.
On the other hand, if you say you’re not close with them at all, it could make them think that you’re not very family-oriented. Both of these are not good things and could potentially cost you a second date.
#9 Whether or not you can do your own laundry. Honestly, if I’m on a date with a guy and he tells me he can’t do his own laundry, I don’t even make the effort to sneak out. I just tell him I have to leave.
Someone who is your age and can’t even bother to do their own laundry—or worse, doesn’t even know HOW to do their own laundry—is not going to be seen as someone worth your time. Doing your own chores is called being responsible. If you don’t even know how to, then you may be seen as an irresponsible person who will have to be taken care of. And not everyone will like that. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the first date]
#10 If you live with your parents. If you’re living at home with your parents, please lie about it. At least at first. It won’t matter what your reasons are for living at home. If someone hears that, then they’ll immediately picture you being 40 years old, still taking up space in your parents’ basement, all alone.
Nobody wants someone who doesn’t have the motivation to get out and be on their own. Just tell them you’ve got a place so they don’t automatically check you off their list. You can explain later, after they’ve gotten to know you.
[Read: 10 things you should never, ever lie about on a first date]
Sometimes, you just don’t have any other option but to tell a little white lie on the first date. These lies are among the few that you should actually be telling. There’s nothing wrong with evading someone’s judgmental stare until they get to know you better!
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