Everyone has experienced some form of a relationship break in their past relationships. But what are the relationship break rules, so you avoid breaking up altogether? In a break, there’s often the line on what you can ad can’t do. Once you cross that line, you can lose the relationship forever.
When you’re on a break, it doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the relationship, but you just need a little space and time to figure things out on your own.
When you go on a break, naturally, there are various reasons. However, most people feel exhausted and overwhelmed. So breaking up and ending things is the thing you want to avoid in a relationship break. [Read: When is it time to break up? 15 signs to know for sure if it’s time]
Relationships aren’t perfect, and you’ll have days where you just need to breathe when things get a bit too overwhelming. Instead of making a decision that you’ll probably regret such as end the relationship abruptly, this is where taking a break is best. When you’re on a relationship break, you’re not broken up.
You’re just taking the time and space to see things in a different light and breathe from all the confusion, arguments, and difficult feelings from your relationship. Remember that a relationship break isn’t an implication that your relationship is over and done with.
So this isn’t your free card to flirt around and do something unwise *unless that’s what you both agree upon*. Instead, it’s the time for both of you to heal from whatever issues you need healing from and just to take a little time to pause on everything. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works]
I mean, what does “let’s take a break” even mean? I feel that this idea of a break is though you know that you need to take the step in ending the relationship, and you’re giving the space needed just in case things work themselves out.
But, you need to have some relationship break rules even though you’re going on a break. If you’re not on the same page as your partner with what a break means, then it can make things messier. You don’t need that extra stress. If you set the ground rules beforehand, this break will go smoothly.
Are you going to be seeing other people? Are you allowed to have sex with other people? These are the questions you need to discuss with your partner regarding your relationship break rules. Sit with them and discuss what you both feel should happen during your break, and take it from there.
Now, whether you and your partner follow them is up to both of you. But placing the rules there makes sure everyone knows the expectations. The more direct and precise your rules are, the better. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]
Make sure you and your partner mark off on the calendar when the break will end. Regardless if you reconcile or not, you need a day to meet up and talk about what will happen next. So discuss when you both want the break to end. Do you want to get back together in two weeks, a month, three months?
You both have to come to a mutual agreement on when you think it should end. But you should also take note that the longer the break, the more you’re both being accustomed to a life without each other. [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship?]
Your feelings are the most important thing you need to focus on at this time. Initially, you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but how will you feel a couple days from now? Writing down your feelings will benefit you during this relationship break.
Even if you miss them with an overwhelming intensity, you might feel differently in a couple of weeks. You might even realize you don’t need them in your life any longer. [Read: How to express your feelings & get your point across the right way]
A relationship break isn’t just about doing whatever spontaneously, but you should use this time wisely. This break occurred because something in your relationship made you feel too overwhelmed, confused, or in pain. Spend this time doing the things you love, including being around your loved ones.
By using your time properly, you evaluate your relationship. Do things that make you feel good during this time. It helps you see whether this person fits in your life anymore. If you don’t imagine your life with them anymore after all this, well, that’s what a break is for. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
Some people use breaks the wrong way. Don’t cry and eat ice cream while watching depressing movies at home. People tend to retreat when they go through something like this but don’t do that. Be social, see your friends, laugh, and have a beer.
Socializing is kind of the point in a relationship break as it helps you see what life is like without them in the picture. So the last thing you should be doing is giving in to your sadness and dwelling on it. [Read: How to be more social: 19 ways to genuinely connect with others]
Taking a break is not what you should be doing because you’re scared to talk about an issue. Do not use breaks as a way to solve problems. Breaks should be used as a way to reflect. Before deciding to take a break, you should’ve both talked about what needs to be discussed.
So if you’re using the break as a way to deflect your problems or assume that things will magically get better after your break, you’re doing this for all the wrong reasons. You can use breaks to reflect on your problems and get some perspective, but don’t rely on it to fix things. [Read: How to stop fighting in a relationship & learn how to really talk]
It’s not a break if you want to go on one and they don’t. This means you didn’t really talk to them about it, did you? Sit down with them and explain to them why you need this time to yourself. Explain to them that it’s not that you’re leaving them, but you just need a little perspective on things.
Also, it helps if you agree that you both won’t see other people or flirt with anyone during your agreed relationship break. [Read: 10 decisions you should never let your partner make for you]
Though they may be your friends, they are also your partner’s friends. I’m not saying they’ll gossip but maybe something accidentally slips out when they’re hanging out and you don’t want that to happen.
If you have mutual friends, it’s best not to talk about it with them during the span of your relationship break. After all, this is one of the relationship break rules that can potentially sabotage the entire purpose of this break if things go wrong.
This is one of the hardest rules to follow in a break, especially when you miss them with every fiber of your being. However, remember why you decided on this break initially.
I know you’re probably curious about what your partner is doing on the break, but don’t stalk them via social media and friends. You should be focusing on and prioritizing yourself during this break instead of them, remember? [Read: How to stop caring: 20 steps on how to not care & put yourself first]
If you make a decision about the relationship, you don’t need to wait until the end date. If you don’t want to be with them, it’s okay to contact them and meet up with them earlier.
This is one of the reasons why relationship breaks tend to signal the end of the relationship – when one of you decides that it’s best to part ways. So if you or your partner come to a decision earlier than your decided timeframe, that’s alright.
Maybe this break isn’t actually about the relationship but more about where you’re going in life and what you want. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t think the relationship is working, but rather, you struggle with your own idea of how your life is shaping out to be.
It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re too focused and invested in a relationship. Even if this is normal, it doesn’t make it healthy. So maybe this relationship break had to happen so you can discover and find yourself once again. [Read: How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]
When the break is over, don’t think that everything is back to normal. You need to sit down with your partner and talk about what happened during the time you two were apart. Communication will always be critical in a relationship, so you have to be willing to talk about it.
There will be things you wouldn’t want to hear, but you need to listen and understand where they’re coming from. That is if you’re going to mend your relationship. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship actually works]
Unless you’re in a long-distance relationship and you’re incapable of making things work, you need to discuss things in person.
Don’t talk about your relationship break rules over chat, text, or call, no matter how afraid you are of discussing them with your partner. Take the time to meet with them and discuss the implications of what a relationship break really means.
Again, no relationship is perfect but surely, there’s a trigger to what made you want a break in the first place. Did one of you cheat in the relationship, or is there an imbalance of effort?
Whatever it is, this is your chance to reflect on what made you agree to a break. By the end of the break, you should have reflected on the cause and whether it’s mendable or not. [Read: 10 big problems in a relationship and how to fix it]
We never achieve our ideal relationships perfectly, but you need to know what your idea of a healthy relationship should be like. So during the time duration of your break, visualize what kind of changes you want to see in your relationship.
Do you see yourselves communicating more, being more affectionate, trusting each other more? Think about it both during and after your break. [Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]
Look, if you’re on the verge of breaking up, a break isn’t going to turn your relationship around magically. If anything, it’ll just both make you realize you should definitely break up, no questions asked. So only decide on a break to reflect on your relationship, but not when it’s practically over.
Love and relationships can’t happen by force, and that’s what makes them so real. So when observing the relationship break rules, don’t force it if you already know you must end it.
We know how much it hurts that it has to come to this decision, but that’s life. It’s better to accept it so you can both find the people meant for you; someone who can love you better.
[Read: When to leave a relationship: 15 clues that shouldn’t be ignored]
There’s no getting around it, but breaks will always feel like a b*tch. But is it necessary? Yes, a hundred percent. We can’t reflect on our relationship if our partner is constantly clouding our judgment and feelings. So even if it might be uncomfortable, you need to go through with it.
A relationship break will always suck, especially if it’s not your decision. But, if you follow these relationship break rules and take time to reflect, you might learn several things.
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