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Instagrandstanding: What It Is & How People Use It to Flirt Online


When I was dating, I knew all about catfishing and ghosting. I also experienced my fair share of “disappearing” men. But I thought that was the peak of unfortunate dating terms I needed to know. Alas, we can add a new word to the list – Instagrandstanding. There’s also Scrooging and Banksying, but we’ll save those words for a different day. I can only handle so much disappointed at one time.

I’m no longer single, but I can’t stay I disliked like my dating life.

Sure, I met a lot of idiots along the way, but I also have an endless amount of stories to keep people entertained at dinners. See, there’s always a silver lining to things.

Tinder was hard enough to use. Of course, swiping wasn’t the hard part, but meeting worthwhile people was like fishing in sewage. And I know Tinder isn’t the only dating app *still not sure if that’s a good thing or not*, you have endless ways to connect with people online. [Read: 9 screaming signs of Instagram flirting you’re sure not to miss]

12 things to know about Instagrandstanding

If you’re trying to swim through the dating world, I know the struggle. And though I hope you never encounter these situations, it’s important to know what Instagrandstanging is, that way, you can avoid it.

We need to let this trend go.

1. Wait, what is Instagrandstanding?

It’s a bit of a mouthful, but the definition is pretty simple and straightforward. Instagrandstanding is when someone makes their Instagram feed with a specific person in mind, in hopes of getting their attention.

2. We’re all guilty of it

You probably haven’t thought about it much, but if you’ve ever tried to get the attention of a crush through your Instagram posts and stories, well, you’re an Instagrandstander.

I’ve done it countless times, hoping my crush would reply to a story or photo. [Read: Are you in a parasocial relationship? Is it healthy?]

3. It’s all about strategy

Let’s say your crush is a huge fan of soccer. Well, that’s when you lay out a strategy to get their attention.

To not look too obvious, you need a certain degree of strategy. Clearly, you’re not a soccer fan, but posting a meme with his favorite player in it would be an example of it.

4. Show off your positive qualities

If you have a great sense of humor, use Instagram as a way to show your crush how funny you are. If you’re a bubbly person, you can illustrate how happy and successful you are.

Social media is all about perception, and through Instagrandstanding, you’re showing your crush what you want them to see. [Read: Why social media will make you feel insecure]

5. It’s like a CV

Your Instagram profile is basically a CV of your life. It shows people your positive qualities, what you enjoy doing in your spare time, and things you value.

In my opinion, it’s more valid than a resume. You’re making yourself stand out amongst the rest, by using images that give you value.

6. It works

Listen, we wouldn’t be doing it if it didn’t work. The fact is Instagrandstanding is a highly effective way to get the attention of your crush.

Social media is all about sharing your life and views, and it is one way to get someone’s attention.

7. There’s a fine line between real and fake

One problem with Instagrandstanding is you’re creating your profile based on a specific person’s attention. This means it can easily come off as fake and inauthentic.

If you’re going to be an Instagrandstander, keep some integrity and post photos that you want to post.

8. Make sure things match up

If you’re showing on Instagram that you love kayaking and being outdoors to get your crush’s attention, you better stand behind that.

If you and your crush start dating, they’ll quickly see that what you show people on social media is nothing like the real you. That’s why you should be genuinely interested in what you’re posting. [Read: 14 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

9. It’s not as niche as you think

There are actually stats showing how many of us are Instagrandstanding, and the results are pretty surprising.

According to a recent study by dating site Plenty of Fish, more than half of single people Instagrandstand. Over two-thirds of singletons between 22 to 25-years-old are guilty of Instagrandstanding.

10. Is it thirsty?

You may be wondering if Instagrandstanding makes you look thirsty. Listen, we all just want to find connection and love, so most of us are willing to Instagrandstand to find a partner.

Does that make you desperate and thirsty? Not if you genuinely enjoy the same things as your crush. But if you’re going out of your way to make posts for them, well, then it is desperate.

Of course, if you’re giving up qualities of yourself for a crush, then you have a problem. [Read: The sexy thirst trap – How to master it without looking too thirsty]

11. It takes up a lot of your time

If you’re going to be an Instagrandstander, be aware that it takes a lot of time and energy on your part.

You need to be connected to social media all the time, looking at their profile, and essentially studying who they are so you can make a post that aligns with their interests. Just be you, and if they like you then great. [Read: Are you losing yourself to impress someone you like?]

12. Create boundaries for yourself

To help you control your Instagrandstanding, create healthy boundaries for yourself. At the end of the day, be true to yourself and do what makes you happy.

If you want to get your crush’s attention, post a photo or story, but don’t make it your life’s goal. If your crush isn’t running to DM you or ask you out, why waste all this time and energy on them?

[Read: Friendly vs flirty – 12 hints to stop reading the wrong signs]

Now that you know what Instagrandstanding is, how do you feel about it? Better question, are you guilty of Instagrandstanding someone?

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Team LP