Ironically enough, when I watched this movie in the cinema with a guy that I was sort-of-no-strings-attached-with, he became the man I fell in love with and eventually married, two years and nine months later. If there is something that I have learned from this movie, what I just mentioned pretty much sums it all up. But aside from this major point that the movie is trying to tell the whole world, there are other valuable insights that can be taken from the movie.
Love lessons from No Strings Attached
No strings attached showed us a multitude of ways that men can be the romantic ones, and the women icy cold. This is just another one of those layered messages the movie is trying to send to us viewers, and here are some more points that I picked up from No Strings Attached.
#1 The greatest teacher is, and will forever be, experience. The opening scene shows us the teenagers, Adam and Emma. We already see how Emma is going to be when she grows up, saying, “People aren’t meant to be together, forever.” This shows that although Emma was just beginning to have a full grasp of what being in love is at this age, she already has the wisdom to utter those very words. She might have picked it up from Adam’s parents divorcing, or from what she has heard or observed from all around her.
We should all follow suit. Learning from experience and being able to apply it in our daily lives will give us more perspective. But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t change as we gain more and more experience. It was also experience that showed Emma that she could fall in love with a big hearted guy as Adam. And she did. [Read: 15 love lessons you can learn from your own breakups]
#2 Ask questions like there is no tomorrow. One thing that this movie showed us is that Emma is the inquisitive and brazen one. When Adam told her that he really likes her, she was bold enough to ask right away, “Why? You don’t even know me.” And she had every right to ask, and so should everyone out there.
There is beauty in asking questions. And in getting answers, we should always be wary that the answers we want may not be the answers that we get.
#3 “The worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love,” says Adam’s father. All throughout the movie, we will notice that even though Adam’s father ended up with his ex-girlfriend, Adam still took words of wisdom from his father. And his father is right.
When you are in love and you know that the person you are looking in the eye is also in love with you, why say no? There are only two things that can come from this, either you two will end up together, or you don’t. Might as well take a chance since a 50% chance isn’t such bad odds.
#4 “That’s a terrible self destructive plan yet we’re behind you 100%.” Adam’s friends told him this when he tried to call every female in his mobile phone, so he could have revenge sex with someone, when he found out that his ex-girlfriend was sleeping with his father.
We love how our friends are always backing us up, even though they know that it might be a tad bit bad for us. Our friends know us very well, and perhaps even though they would like to stop us from doing such things, they know they cannot stop us. What they can do is to just readily be there, when our self-destruction ends, and offer us their best crying shoulder.
#5 You would never want to be in this situation, “Let’s make fun of the naked guy.” They always say regrets come in the end. In the scene where Adam wakes up with a nasty hangover in the company of people he doesn’t know, he was made fun of. It turns out he ended up in Emma’s place and her roommates made fun of him.
And as much as we would like to avoid these kinds of situations, sometimes, they really do happen. But a word of advice, try your best never to be the naked guy (or girl) in a room full of strangers, where you cannot even remember where your clothes are, and if you have slept with anyone in that room. If it does happen, at least have the sense of humor to deal with it. [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]
#6 Contrary to popular belief, at least in this movie, balloons post-coitus is actually cute. Remember that scene where Adam visits Emma in the hospital and brings her a balloon that has CONGRATS written on it? And how Emma and Adam’s friends thought it was something that Adam shouldn’t have done. To some women, it actually is kind of cute and sweet to be remembered.
Some men would not even call the women they had sex with the night before. A gesture as big as this should have made Emma want to fall in love with him. But given her emotional baggage, this actually prompted her to move away. But, not all women are like Emma. So men, don’t just send text messages, go for a gesture that would tell her that last night’s romp wasn’t meaningless… Unless it actually was.
#7 It is always helpful to state the current status of the relationship. Earlier in the sex-only relationship of Adam and Emma, Emma already decided that they should just be sex buddies, friends with benefits, with no emotional attachment whatsoever.
While it is probably true that defining a non-emotional relationship will not stop any couple from developing feelings, it is true that defining a non-emotional relationship will not only make things less complicated, but it will also guide you as to how you should act.
#8 Everybody knows sex buddies is not possible. Many of us have been there. We have tried to just be sex buddies with someone. And during the beginning, what we thought will be an uneventful and non-emotional relationship, turns out to be something else. Intimacy is intimacy, and members of the opposite sex are always bound to attract each other.
If you are getting involved with someone in this kind of a relationship, it is wise to move out now, especially when you already have an emotional attachment and the other member of this two-man party is just not into you. But if the feeling is mutual, why not act on those feelings and turn your relationship into something more?
#9 Why aren’t guys more like Adam? Come on, a period mix? A box of cupcakes for you and your roommates? Guys like Adam are too hard to find these days, and if you have someone like him in your life, or a female equivalent of him, never let them go. [Read: 25 romantic ideas to make your lover melt]
#10 Creativity and effort trumps sex, all the time. Yes, sex is all about intimacy, getting to know each other and making each other comfortable enough to be naked, but admit it, when Adam gave that bouquet of carrots, our hearts melted! He wanted to make their first official date really special, and he thought of ways to get around Emma’s dos and don’ts. He even made an itinerary for their whole date that was well thought of.
These gestures make Adam the best movie date ever by a million points. And okay, even Emma scored some points when she gave Adam a card that says “You give my heart premature ventricular contractions,” which is, in layman’s terms, “You make my heart skip a beat.”
#11 “We don’t pick who we fall in love with, and it never happens like it should.” Again, Adam’s dad saves the day. There are people that we know we should not fall in love with, like Emma who keeps her heart locked in a safe house 100 feet underground. But sometimes, we just have to follow our hearts.
The heart is a tricky organ and unlike our brains, it does not know any rationale. The heart is impulsive, irrational, and wild. And this is why we should never tame it to say, “No strings attached.” Because the heart will never listen, it will still do whatever it wants.
[Read: How to convince a friend to have no strings attached sex]
After watching “No Strings Attached,” you may start to realize that falling in love with your casual relationship partner and following your heart can actually give you great results!
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