When it comes to your man’s wandering eyes, it’s a bit irritating. But why do men look at other women in the first place? Here’s what you should know.
It’s super annoying to get all dolled up and head out for a fancy date only to have your man very obviously checking out the bartender’s cleavage. You end up annoyed and he has seemingly no idea why. So why do men look at other women when they know it’ll just piss off their loves?
You’d think he would just stop if he knows it upsets you, right? But that’s just not the way guys think. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re staring at another girl until you point it out with a facial expression that sends his heart shooting into his throat.
You first have to understand that everyone looks at other attractive people
I mean, if you think about it, you also look at other men. Not necessarily in such an obvious, gawking way, but you do. You may look over at a man and think he’s handsome but it won’t really have an impact on you.
The main difference is that you don’t make a thing of it. It’s usually brief and doesn’t leave a lasting impact. You may not even notice it yourself. But men tend to be a bit more obvious about it. And while they may not have any intentions with their wandering eyes, it can still feel that way based on how often you catch him doing it. [Read: Find out how attraction works at the first glance]
Why do men look at other women if it lands them in the doghouse?
If you’ve had this on your mind for a while and just can’t figure it out, we can help. Here are some of the reasons guys tend to look at other women. Spoiler – it might not be what you want to know.
#1 They’re visual beings. They just are. Men’s minds work more on visual cues whereas women’s work based on emotional information. So if a guy is looking at another woman, it’s because he saw her. Period. Some women don’t even have to be all that attractive for men to look at them.
#2 It’s an instinct. Guys will look over at attractive women. That’s just how it is because genetically, they’re programmed to mate. And while it doesn’t excuse ogling or staring, it does explain why they look over even if you’re standing right there. [Read: What makes you desirable in someone’s eyes?]
#3 They catch themselves too late. They look by instinct and then stare because they want to. Which means they may end up looking a bit too long and that allows you to see them looking at other women. So it could be a result of catching themselves instinctually looking a bit too late.
#4 She’s attractive. This is really the basis of why men stare and what you probably already know. If a woman is attractive, he’s going to look. That’s just the way it is and while smart men can refrain from doing this, others ogle a bit longer and that’s what upsets you.
#5 He’s distracted. He could be distracted by her beauty or even just in general. He could not even be staring at her but looking at something else. Don’t just jump to conclusions about where his eyes are aimed just because they’re in the same direction as a woman. [Read: How women can get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
#6 He could be unhappy with you. If this is true, you’ll know before the sign of looking at other women. But if you two are arguing or even just not getting along while out together, he might look at another woman. This could be to spite you or it could be because he’s wondering what it’ll be like to be with her.
#7 He’s curious. People are curious beings. We’re always imagining scenarios in our heads and wondering what our lives would look like in a different lifetime. He could just be curious about a woman in this way. It doesn’t mean he’s pining for her necessarily. He could just be daydreaming.
#8 She’s making a scene. A guy is going to look at anybody making a scene – especially a woman. If there’s a fight or she’s being loud and most people are looking at her, of course he will, too. Don’t expect him not to because you probably are, too. [Read: How to get your boyfriend’s attention when he’s ignoring you]
#9 She’s wearing something obnoxious. I mean, it’s really hard to avert your gaze from someone wearing something that is supposed to draw it. Sure, he could look away but if the outfit is really ridiculous or even laughable, he’s going to look.
#10 You’re looking at her. I know this might not be what you want to hear, but if your attention is on her for whatever reason – perhaps jealousy – he’ll look at her. But the thing is, he’ll also look at other men for this reason too.
It’s the same as if you stare at a girl BECAUSE he is. So if your attention is on her because you find her beautiful, his will probably be, too.
What it DOESN’T mean when a guy looks at other women
Not every guy looking at every woman wants to be with her. There are a lot of different conclusions women tend to jump to and these are the ones that are NOT usually accurate.
#1 He wants to leave you. Looking at another woman does not equate to wanting to leave you. The many reasons above explain why this is true. He could just be looking because she was loud, he could be looking because she’s cute, but that doesn’t mean anything, really. [Read: 15 signs he wants to break up but is just too afraid to say so]
#2 He thinks she’s more attractive than you. This is what most women suspect. That their men are looking at other women because they’re hotter or sexier than you are. That’s not usually the reality. A guy can think a woman is beautiful without thinking she’s more beautiful than you.
#3 He’s undressing her with his eyes. This could be the case sometimes, but it’s usually not. A guy isn’t going to stare at a woman and imagine what she looks like naked. Not with you sitting right there watching his every move. It’s just not reality.
#4 He likes her body better. This is another thing women tend to think that often actually stems from their own insecurities. If you’re feeling down about something about yourself, it’ll often manifest in the explanation you give as to why your man is looking at someone else. Solve this issue within yourself before drawing conclusions. [Read: 14 surefire signs your guy thinks you’re smokin’ hot!]
#5 You’re not enough for him. It’s easy to watch your guy ogling at another woman and suddenly feel like you’re not enough. However, that’s probably not what’s happening. Again, there are many reasons that woman caught his eye but none of them have to do with you not being enough for him.