When a guy stops texting you every day with no warning, it’s confusing and upsetting. But, it’s important to handle it the right way – with dignity.
What do you do when a guy stops texting you? He was all in from the start, then its radio silence.
Let’s be honest, when a guy is just getting to know you, he’s on his best behavior. You get good morning texts, goodnight texts, or “how was your day” texts. He might even tell you he misses you or he texts you randomly throughout the day to ask how you are.
The talking stage is full of giddy smiles, laughing, and butterflies in the stomach. He’s lavishing attention on you, and you can’t help but feel like the chosen one. But then it stops!
What’s going on? [Read: What is ghosting and how does it affect you?]
Why might a guy stop texting you?
You’re waiting by the phone and flinching at every notification only to get disheartened when it’s not from him. Questions start pounding your head. Is it you? Is it him? Has he found someone else?
Calm down! It’s probably not as bad as you think. In fact, he could just be feeling a little like he’s doing all the hard work or he’s going through something that he cannot share.
Here are almost all the reasons why a guy may suddenly stop texting you every day. Then, we’ll talk about what you should do about it. [Read: 31 sad signs he’s starting to get bored and slowly losing interest in you]
1. He feels like he’s doing all the work
Go back and check all of your past conversations. Was it always him who started the conversation? Was it always him asking you questions and you barely asking anything about him?
It’s great to receive attention from the one you like. But you have to give it back. Nobody wants to feel like they’re the only one who cares in a relationship, so this could be the reason he decided to stop making an effort.
Perhaps you got so used to his texts that you don’t feel like you need to do any of the work. [Read: Are you taking him for granted? The checklist to know for sure]
2. He’s testing you
He’s checking to see whether you like him as much as he likes you, or he’s checking to see whether his flirty routine has been working or not. He could leave it quiet for a few days, then start with the constant texting again. If you don’t reply, he’ll assume you’re not interested.
Most guys don’t like it when someone they’ve been texting suddenly stops texting back, just as much as you don’t. But, in some ways, it’s a game for him.
This guy will stop texting first for a while. Now, you’ll have to text first. He’ll probably be quite normal *or even warm and affectionate* when he replies. But he’s not lavishing you with the attention you got used to before. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a potential bad boyfriend]
3. He’s love-bombing you
While love-bombing is very common, it’s not always harmless. He’s trying to power play by love-bombing you. He wants you to be the one waiting for him to text, to be hanging off his every word. That’s not where you should be, and certainly not what a relationship is about.
When a guy starts off strong and consistent and then stops texting you every day, you’ll fall right into his trap and start sending texts first and more often. [Read: 21 ways to stop being manipulated and used by someone you love and trust]
4. He’s not interested anymore
“But he was obsessed with me before?”
Well, this is because for some people, the more they get to know someone, the less they’re interested and invested!
Why? Because when you first meet someone, it’s their looks that draw you in. Then how your relationship develops depends on whether you two are compatible with one another.
Don’t take this to heart. One guy not being interested in you doesn’t change the fact that you’re still an amazing person. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you’ll find the perfect one eventually. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 23 reasons guys turn into cowardly A-holes]
5. He’s busy
So you start the conversation, and he seems as chatty as usual, perhaps he’s really been busy. But if he replies in a way that makes you feel like you’re bothering him, just leave him alone.
It seems like everyone is busy nowadays, and each person has their own priorities. You may not be his number one, but you shouldn’t be the last one on the list, either!
If you want to be in a relationship, you must be able to spend at least some time in the day talking to the person and not just ghosting them for days. [Read: 41 casual conversation starters to use with a guy to get him talking]
6. He’s found someone else
You might think you know everything about the guy from texting him every day, but this isn’t true. You’re not in a relationship yet, and there are almost always things that he hasn’t told you.
In this modern world, dating apps exist. So he may be talking to ten people at the same time while he’s your only one. The conversations you have with him might be special to you, but maybe it’s ordinary to him. He might even be saying the same things to other women!
So when he’s found another girl he likes better than the rest, there’s a very good chance the guy will suddenly stop texting you or worse, even ghost you. [Read: How to get a guy to stop playing with your feelings]
7. Something happened to him
You need to remember that he doesn’t live in your phone. He also has his own life outside of you, and things happen in life.
He might have lost his phone, or he might be in the hospital with a broken leg, or someone he cares about just passed away and he needs to be alone to grieve.
These are pretty rare occurrences. If one of these was to have happened *hopefully not the broken leg one or the grieving one!*, you’ll find out about it pretty soon anyway. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – The stages to explain why someone does this]
8. He finds you clingy
Don’t be offended. We’re all clingy to at least one person. It doesn’t always mean that you’re the problem. It’s just because you may be high maintenance, and he’s not.
People have different love languages, and yours just happen to be reassurance and words of affection. He might try to live up to your expectations of him initially, but then he may find it exhausting and eventually stop. [Read: Texting anxiety – how to send and receive texts without freaking out]
9. He’s afraid of commitment
Okay, so maybe he really does like you, but he decides to stop texting you anyway because he’s scared. Guys can have feelings for a girl and not want to commit. It’s just how they are.
So you should start collecting red flags at the beginning or ask him in the very first conversation if he’s looking for something serious. If he says he’s only looking for something casual, then you should say goodbye to him *unless casual is what you’re looking for as well*.
If you believe this is the reason the guy suddenly stopped texting you, consider it a narrow escape. Guys with commitment issues at this early stage aren’t exactly long-term future material. [Read: Is he a commitment-phobe? How to tell for sure]
10. You’ve had a text misunderstanding
Maybe you made a joke and he’s not sure what it meant exactly. Or maybe you’re naturally sarcastic, but he thinks you’re being serious.
It’s texting. You don’t see each other’s faces when you’re speaking. So, this mix-up can easily happen. Make sure you make it somewhat obvious what you’re trying to say. [Read: How to text your crush and play it cool]
11. You text him too much
In other words, he’s bored. You text him all the time and it’s killed the mystery and chase that he’s looking for.
Plus, what can you possibly talk about via text all day long? Exactly. The conversations are getting boring, so he decided to put you on a time out for a couple of days. [Read: Rules you need to follow when a guy stops texting you]
12. You’re coming on too strong
We don’t know what your conversation looks like with him, but it could be that you’re coming off way too strong for his liking. He’s feeling a little uncomfortable with the topics and he’s too nervous to tell you to back off.
So, instead, he retreats, thinking that it’ll help create some healthy space between you.
13. He’s just not a texter
Some guys love texting and other guys aren’t into it. He may text you a couple of sentences here and there, but it’s not his thing. We know guys who don’t check their phones for days.
Look at the way he texted before and compare it to now. Is there any change? Or are you just overthinking things? [Read: Why do men hate talking on the phone?]
14. You aren’t clicking over text
If you aren’t on the same page, texting can become more of a chore than a delight.
If you both understand each other’s sense of humor and lingo, great. But if not, then he may be turned off and uninterested in keeping the conversation going. [Read: How to know when you need to stop texting a guy]
15. He forgot
Our days are usually packed with people to meet and things to do. So, it’s pretty normal for people to open a message and forget to reply. These things happen. It doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you.
But if it’s more than a day, we would say it’s a little odd. You can forget for a day, but for three days? We don’t think so. [Read: What does it mean if a guy never texts but always replies]
What to do when a guy stops texting you
A lot of thoughts fly through your mind when a guy stops texting you. You might think of something you want to do or say to him. But before making any decisions you may regret, there are some steps you should take. [Read: How to take control of your love life and find the love you want]
1. Cool off
Before doing anything, just relax. When you first realize you’ve been ghosted you feel bad, maybe even pissed off. You want to go off on him.
But before giving yourself the crazy girl label, try to cool off.
Take your mind off of him. Even if you have been texting nonstop and got used to hearing from him and even shared some personal things, he stopped texting you. Take some time to regroup before doing something dramatic. [Read: How to make a guy realize he’s losing you]
2. Vent to a friend
This is something you can do whether you are cooled off or not. You can be pissed off or upset or frustrated. Get it all out.
You can trash talk him to your heart’s content. Just be sure you are talking to a trusted friend and not someone who will spread gossip.
Talking to a friend will also remind you how amazing you are. Instead of being down on yourself, your friend will perk you up and remind you that you deserve better than this jerk. [Read: 22 ways a friend will make you feel better]
3. It’s okay to be sad
Getting over texting a crush can be hard. You want to mourn the loss, but you were never really dating, so it feels like you can’t. Well, you can.
Go ahead and cry and drown yourself in mint chocolate chip ice cream. Just don’t let this go on for too long. He is not worth your time, energy, or tears. [Read: How to not cry – 29 fastest ways to stop those mad or sad tears]
4. Distract yourself
Instead of trying your hardest not to text him, avoid your phone altogether. Do something to keep yourself busy so your mind isn’t revolving around him.
Try a DIY you’ve been wanting to do. Go check out a sale at the mall, go to the gym, or get some work done that you’ve been putting off.
Before you know it, you will forget all about this jerk. [Read: How to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in]
5. Live your best life
Go out with your friends and be happy. You might still have a little sting from his rejection, or rather lack of it, but the best way to get over him is to own your confidence.
Go dancing, get dressed up, and feel great. We’re not saying to show off or depend on others to feel good, but posting a killer selfie and racking up the likes certainly won’t hurt.
Plus it will show him you don’t need him and are doing just fine without him. [Read: How to enjoy life and make it memorable]
What not to do when a guy stops texting you
Along with everything we just said, there is plenty you should avoid doing when a guy stops texting you. You might ask yourself: Should you ask him why? Should you stalk him on social media? Should you ask his friends what’s up?
No. No to it all. This guy does not deserve any of your time, your thoughts, your energy, or your cell phone data.
And, if it turns out to be some innocent reason why he stopped texting, e.g. he lost his phone, then you will find out and can work it out from there. [Read: The step-by-step guide to getting over unrequited love]
1. Do not text him
Your initial reaction to not hearing from him in a few days might be to reach out. But this is exactly what he wants. He wants to know you are thinking about him without him having to put in any effort at all.
The same goes for tagging him in memes, Snapchatting, and everything else.
Don’t give in. We know how tempting it is, but don’t do it. [Read: Am I being ghosted?]
2. Do not dwell
This has nothing to do with you. We know it feels so personal, like a brutal rejection with no explanation. But try not to dwell on the unanswered questions.
Guys who ghost have their own issues and they don’t concern you. He is the one missing out, not you. So you can be sad, but try not to overthink it. It will drive you nuts. [Read: How to get over him fast – a foolproof system to feel yourself again]
3. Do not lash out
As much as this guy doesn’t deserve your respect or kindness, two wrongs don’t make a right. So if he reaches out, as they all do eventually, don’t ignore him right back.
That creates an endless cycle of ghosting. Revenge ghosting is petty and you are above that.
You can be cordial and polite, just keep things professional and shut him down if he is out of bounds. If he reaches out at 3 am, you have every right to ignore him. But if you see him in person or he texts you as if nothing happened, confronting him won’t do any good.
Show him you are doing great and are not at all phased by his lack of compassion. If he continues to reach out kindly let him know you moved on while he was MIA. [Read: The zombies of dating – how to handle a guy who ghosts and comes back]
4. Do not expect this from every guy
Yes, guys ghosting is nothing new. It is quite common, but you cannot let that get you down. No one ever said dating was easy.
You just have to keep your head high and hope for the best. Yes, you might get ghosted again, but you have to try to not let it get to you.
In the same way you go on a lot of job interviews or an actor goes on a lot of auditions and never hears back, you have to have thick skin to survive in today’s dating landscape. We know it doesn’t seem fair, but you will find someone worthy of all you have to offer.
If you go in expecting every guy to ghost, you won’t have a pleasant outcome. You won’t be invested or excited, you will be expecting the other shoe to drop and it will. There is power in positive thinking. [Read: How to release your anger and focus on the positives in your life]
Stick to these basic rules so they won’t go radio silent again
The biggest problem with a text message or email is that it is not always read the way you mean. It is read through the jaded thoughts and preconceived notions of the reader. Whatever you put into written word has the potential to be misread.
If you suspect that the guy isn’t simply being rude or ghosting you for the hell of it, and perhaps there’s been a misunderstanding, you can turn the situation around.
Texting is a tricky thing because you may have sent him a message that was taken the wrong way and scared him off—or even made him mad. When texting a guy, follow these general and basic rules, especially before you become an official couple. [Read: Moves to flirt with a guy over text effortlessly]
1. Less is more
When you look at a conversation between boys and girls, what you likely notice is there is one column that goes on and on. The answer to it is a one-liner, only for it to bounce back to a series of lines and one answer.
Men are not into texting their life story or even a funny story. They don’t let those fingers do the walking. When you are texting a guy, keep it simple.
If it is anything more than three lines, just wait until you see him, it makes for more conversation when together. Also, if it is a subject you want to broach with him, nothing good comes from a text message with too many emotions or questions. [Read: Common texting habits of girls that push guys away]
2. Don’t be too eager
If he texts you, don’t respond to him like you have been waiting all day for a ping from him. When getting a text message, take the time to do other things, and make him think you aren’t just sitting around waiting to hear from him—even if you are.
If you seem too needy or eager, he is going to get the wrong impression and then everything coming from that appears too high-maintenance or demanding. Just give it some time, some thought, and definitely at least ten minutes or more. [Read: Totally crushing? Must-know secrets to text a crush back]
3. If he doesn’t respond, don’t send another message
If you sent him a message and he doesn’t answer, let it be. Often, we overanalyze what we sent and then start to get panicky and wonder if what we wrote and what they read are two different things. That makes us pick up the phone to text, explaining what the last text said.
What that interprets on his end is that you are needy and insecure.
If you send a message, and he doesn’t answer, sending him more isn’t a reminder to answer, it is an irritation to ignore more. Before you know it, you’ve sent three text messages saying things like “just checking in” or “hey” without any reply with a reason.
He is avoiding you now. [Read: 20 ways you’re over analyzing is ruining your relationship]
4. Always use neutral language without emotion
We are dramatic by nature. We can’t help it, it is in our genes. Guys aren’t wordy people. When you put things in writing, they take it literally.
If you start to use emotional words, it overwhelms them, and they become unsure of how to respond.
A text message should be one of two things: completely unemotional or sexy. Those are the only two a guy knows what to do with. Before you send him a text filled with love and emotion, think twice.
Those things you should be able to say to his face, and if you can’t, then maybe you shouldn’t be texting them either… just saying. [Read: How to control your emotions and become the pinnacle of restraint]
5. Don’t use emojis unless necessary
There is nothing cute about an emoji to a guy. The only two times to use them are when you try to ensure he isn’t misreading your text as something upset when it is happy, and you are trying very hard to calm a situation down.
Just don’t add them. They irritate and annoy men, not cutesy at all! [Read: What you need to text a guy when you’re making the first move]
6. Don’t text when you know they have something important going on
Don’t try to get his attention when you know that he has an important meeting at work, or he is out with his mother.
Trying to gain attention at the wrong time only frustrates him that you aren’t respecting his boundaries. It is like showing up at the conference table to ask him about what he wants for dinner.
If you put it under the guise that you want to know how things are going, or how they went, just wait until he contacts you, and then you can ask. Don’t interject yourself into things you weren’t invited to. [Read: Whoa there! Signs you’re coming on way too strong]
7. Don’t be passive aggressive
Yep, passive aggression can be read in text messages too. If you say things like “fine” or “whatever” it is going to either piss him off or be lost. If you use a text message, either be honest about how you feel or wait until you have time to confront him in person.
Either way he answers, you aren’t going to be satisfied, and it only ends up in a guaranteed fight. [Read: Passive aggressive men – how to help them quit playing games]
8. Too many questions are never a good thing
Men hate questions. They hate when you ask them to their face. They don’t like it any more in a text message. Asking random questions only frustrates him.
Unless you have something funny to add or lighthearted to say, save the questions for the interrogation room. Questions only make a guy run, and you don’t want to have to chase him.
9. If you wouldn’t say it to his face, don’t put it in a text
We often make the mistake that we have text muscles. Meaning we say things in a text message that we wouldn’t dare say in a conversation, expecting that it is either acceptable *which it isn’t*, or that it is going to grant us our desired effect. Again, it isn’t.
If you wouldn’t say it point blank, don’t put it into words in a text. [Read: How to let go of a relationship]
10. Don’t be overly eager sexually
Don’t send him pictures of your private areas unless he asks for them. It may be cute in certain circumstances, but extremely embarrassing if he opens it while out with his parents or his boss.
Sexting should be given a heads up. [Read: Really annoying girlfriend habits guys just hate]
11. Don’t sound jealous
If you sound jealous in a text message, that is never good. If you are jealous of some other thing or girl in his life, either learn to accept it or move on.
He isn’t going to placate your jealous nature in a response text—that is for sure.
12. Don’t send him your life story
Again, keep it simple. Never text more than you get back. Guys don’t want to sit around and read about how the red boots you had on didn’t go with the red skirt.
If it is girl talk, why would you think a guy wants to read it? Even more, if it is something personal that you really want to share or discuss, you aren’t creating intimacy by clueing him in on a text message. [Read: How to impress a guy in oh-so-awesome ways!]
13. Remember, whatever you share via text can be shared with the world
If you send him something, you send it to the world. You may think that it is a personal conversation between you and him, but the reality is you could have texted everyone he knows if he decides to share.
All it takes is a copy and paste to tell the world everything you wanted to say and how you feel.
Even in the most trusting of relationships, you shouldn’t put many things in writing. They often come back to bite you in the butt, or sometimes show the world your butt, depending upon what you sent. [Read: 20 texting etiquette tips & tricks for classy dating]
The dating game is hard, but you don’t have to suffer
It’s upsetting when you’ve been talking to a guy for a while, you’ve shared a few personal stories, and then he goes quiet. You start to wonder what you did and whether it was something about you he didn’t like.
The truth is, dating is brutal. You have to go through these trials and tribulations before you find peace with dating in general. But, you also don’t have to suffer.
Understand that when you deal with other people, you have no control over what they’re going to do. It’s not about you or anything you’ve said. When you realize that, everything becomes easier.
[Read: The full modern day culture guide to dating]
When a guy stops texting you, it’s hard but it’s normally down to one of these reasons. But remember that when someone wants you, they’ll find a way. When they don’t, they’ll find an excuse.
