Are you unintentionally saying a few things that may make your man feel emasculated? Here are 14 things you definitely need to avoid saying or doing! By Keith Brown
As a woman and a lover, one of the things you take upon yourself is to change your man for the better.
You see his flaws and his imperfections.
And you want to change them for the better.
But really, that’s never a bad thing.
After all, many men are diamonds in the rough that need a bit of polishing to become better versions of themselves.
And especially when you’re in a relationship, isn’t it each partner’s selfless love that helps their partner become the best they can be?
But in your pursuit to help him become a better man, are you emasculating him and pushing him deeper into his shell?
Mutual respect in the relationship
Most men feel emasculated all the time already.
And if your guy starts to believe that you don’t trust him or respect him in the relationship, he’d feel a lot more emasculated than other men.
And he’ll look for the first thing he can do to feel like a man again, he’ll immerse himself in his work to earn more money and feel powerful. Or he’ll run behind another woman who can make him feel like a man again. [Read: Why your man would cheat on you - 3 big reasons and 27 more!]
Mutual respect in a relationship plays a big part in the relationship’s longevity and the happiness both of you experience.
When a man feels emasculated
A man always feels emasculated when his wife or girlfriend believes he’s not good enough.
Egos play a big part too. When a woman loses an ego battle, she feels controlled and restricted. And when a man loses an ego battle, he feels emasculated.
The first sign of emasculation in a relationship
How can you tell if your guy is subconsciously starting to feel small or emasculated? Well, you can see the signs just by watching the way he communicates with you.
A guy who’s feeling small or emasculated would start to communicate less openly with you. He’d feel like he can’t say something to you because you’d think he’s stupid, dumb or a loser. A guy can confess about many things to his girl, but if it threatens his manliness, it’s the one thing he’d want to hide.
Men who’re emasculated by the world don’t want to appear weak. They hate having to ask for help because they believe they’d appear weak and less manly by asking for your help. [Read: 20 secret things guys wish girls knew about guys]
14 things you say or do that makes him feel emasculated
If you find that your husband or boyfriend is starting to communicate less about his work or the problems he’s experiencing, perhaps he feels emasculated already.
Or worse, you may be saying something to him that makes him believe you’d judge him negatively or think he’s less of a man.
A woman may not always play a part in emasculating her man, but if you do say or do any of these 14 things to him now and then, big chances are, you’re emasculating him already!
#1 You take over. Don’t push him aside and take over a conversation or an argument from him, especially because you believe he’s not arguing his case well enough. The fact that you intervened and cut him away from the argument would make him believe you think he can’t stand up for himself.
#2 You brag about your history. Do you brag now and then about your sexual history just to put him down, knowing full well that he can’t compete with you? Sex is a big part of a man’s mind. And if he knows he’s not as experienced as you, he’d just want to go out there and notch a few more to feel man enough again. [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships with your current partner]
#3 Scoff at his salary. A guy subconsciously feels like the hunter and the provider in the relationship. Scoffing at the one thing he believes is his role, which is earning money for the family, would definitely make him feel like he’s less of a man.
#4 Tell him he’s a wimp. Don’t call your man a coward just because he couldn’t confront someone or couldn’t deal with a situation. Instead, reason with him and converse with him about what the better action could have been, while empathizing with him at the same time. [Read: How the power of words can make or break your relationship]
#5 Compare him to other men in bad light. No guy likes being compared negatively to another guy, especially by his own girlfriend or wife.
#6 Talk about his flaws. If there are flaws about your guy that you need to confront, talk about it in private, and never in front of his friends or your friends. Talking about his weaknesses in front of others would anger him and make him withdraw from you emotionally. [Read: 12 important tips to be a happy couple that's envied by everyone else]
#7 “I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it”. Hearing this line from a woman he loves feels like a painful low blow on his crotch. And the worst part is that he can’t even argue his case himself because he’s failed in your eyes and he knows it.
#8 Stare at the ceiling when he’s on top of you. You really can’t blame yourself if you don’t enjoy having sex with him. But if he stares into your eyes while both of you are locked in a passionate embrace and he sees you staring at the ceiling or yawning like you’re bored or would rather read a magazine, his member would shrivel into a raisin in no time. The same goes with faking it and getting caught too! [Read: 10 sexy ways to make long term sex or married sex feel like a one night stand]
#9 Tell him you’ve seen bigger. Almost every guy knows there would be other men who have bigger packages. But it’s a truth he’d rather not acknowledge or talk about. A guy wants to believe that he’s the biggest thing that’s been inside of you.
To a guy, other guys who have bigger packages is an urban legend or a myth, something that may be possible but there’s no evidence to back it up. But if you ever do tell him that you’ve personally seen bigger ones, that’s a big blow to his ego because it shatters the myth and turns it into a reality. [Read: Does size matter? - Decode your size compatibility using tips from the Kama Sutra]
#10 Criticize or downplay his achievements. Does your man proudly announce his achievements to you, however small they may be? And if he does, how do you respond to it? With a pat on his back and a big smile, or with a “oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you can do better next time”? Downplaying even his smallest achievements would only make him more distant from you. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]
#11 Yelling at him. Yelling at your man is acceptable, but only if he’s a yeller himself who can argue his case. But if your guy isn’t a yeller himself, you’d only scare him and make him whimper away to a corner.
#12 You make him feel like a failure. You may not say anything directly to him. But for some reason or another, or by your actions, if your man starts to think that you think he’s not good enough, he would surely feel emasculated by that thought.
#13 Flirt with other men. Flirting with other men is never bad, as long as you do it the right way. Flirt with other men when you’re at a party or a get-together, but as soon as your man steps into the room, talk to other men but make sure you cling on to your man’s arms and give him all your attention. Just watching how all the other men in the room envy him will give your guy a huge ego and a boost of masculinity! [Read: How flirting while you’re in a relationship can better your relationship]
But if you flirt with other men, and completely ignore your own man, then you’d definitely emasculate him and infuriate him too. It’s very similar to how a guy would feel when he’s cheated on by his girlfriend.
#14 Telling him he’s not man enough. This is the biggest emasculation blow a man can get. Don’t ever tell your man you think he’s not man enough just because he doesn’t behave the way you think he should have in a particular situation.
How to help your guy feel less emasculated
Emasculated men don’t feel unhappy. Unhappy men feel emasculated. It’s the simple truth.
If your man is happy with his life, proud of his achievements and feels confident about his own abilities, he just won’t feel emasculated even if you criticize him for not being man enough. His own ego would cushion the blow and he’d still feel very much like the manly macho man he thinks he is. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they'll never forget!]
Only when a man is down in the dirt and feels emasculated himself would any rude statements from you emasculate him further and push him deeper into his shell. So remember this, if your man feels emasculated, it’s not your fault he feels like less of a man.
But of course, by avoiding saying things that emasculate him further and by giving him the emotional support, you can help him bounce back faster and become a better man all at once. [Read: 20 sweet ways to make your man really happy!]
Here are 6 ways you can boost your man’s morale and help him feel more like a man. Use these ways and he’d be a happier guy and a better boyfriend or husband too!
#1 Stop treating him like a child. Yelling at him like you would at a child will only emasculate him further. If there’s something that you want to talk about, talk to each other calmly. [Read: 10 tips to fight fair and better the relationship]
#2 Don’t tell him how he could have done something better when he talks about his bad day or tells you about a mistake he committed. Doing this stops communication because you’re already offering a solution when he wants to talk about the options he has. Just listen to him and offer suggestions without forcing it down his throat.
#3 Give him his space. Give him some time off every week so he can go out or spend some time by himself. Help him have a social life with other men or subtly suggest he do something manly by asking him to help you fix something around the house that needs heavy lifting or manual labor. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and feel closer!]
#4 Thank him when he offers his help. A man will feel more like a man when his woman behaves like a lady around him. Be courteous to him, and when he does something for you he considers manly, like lifting something heavy, fixing a door, or opening the lid of a tight jar, thank him and compliment his strength or his manliness at the same time. It’ll give him the macho boost he so badly craves from you. [Read: 10 ways to be a lady who awes her man and everyone else]
#5 Self improvement. Make suggestions for him or help him become better at something he’s already good at. Motivate him without babying him. Every time he succeeds at something, or achieves something through your motivation, he’d be grateful to you and feel more like a man at the same time.
#6 Communicate with each other. Open up and talk about each other’s failures and successes without being judgmental. And most importantly, empathize with your man and tell him clearly that you understand what he’s going through, and that you too would have been just as confused if you were in his place. [Read: The best ways to improve communication in a relationship]
By saying that, you’re comforting him and letting him know that it’s human to make mistakes, while offering suggestions at the same time. And no egos enter the picture here because you’re stating that you would have felt just as helpless as him if you were in his place. [Read: 25 perfect topics to talk about in a happy relationship]
And once he learns to communicate with you instead of feeling threatened or emasculated by you, he’d only feel more confident about himself, and love you more for being the best thing to happen in his life!
Do you feel like you emasculate your man in some way or the other? Just keep these 14 things in mind. And most importantly, help your guy feel less emasculated by communicating with him. After all, love can only get better with communication!
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