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14 Things You Say or Do That Emasculates Your Man!

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Are you unintentionally saying a few things that may make your man feel emasculated? Here are 14 things you definitely need to avoid saying or doing! By Keith Brown

things you say or do that emasculate your man

As a woman and a lover, one of the things you take upon yourself is to change your man for the better.

You see his flaws and his imperfections.

And you want to change them for the better.

But really, that’s never a bad thing.

After all, many men are diamonds in the rough that need a bit of polishing to become better versions of themselves.

And especially when you’re in a relationship, isn’t it each partner’s selfless love that helps their partner become the best they can be?

But in your pursuit to help him become a better man, are you emasculating him and pushing him deeper into his shell?

[Read: 10 things girls should never ever say to a guy!]

Mutual respect in the relationship

Most men feel emasculated all the time already.

[Read: Why men feel emasculated - The three big reasons]

And if your guy starts to believe that you don’t trust him or respect him in the relationship, he’d feel a lot more emasculated than other men.

And he’ll look for the first thing he can do to feel like a man again, he’ll immerse himself in his work to earn more money and feel powerful. Or he’ll run behind another woman who can make him feel like a man again. [Read: Why your man would cheat on you - 3 big reasons and 27 more!]

Mutual respect in a relationship plays a big part in the relationship’s longevity and the happiness both of you experience.

When a man feels emasculated

A man always feels emasculated when his wife or girlfriend believes he’s not good enough.

Egos play a big part too. When a woman loses an ego battle, she feels controlled and restricted. And when a man loses an ego battle, he feels emasculated.

The first sign of emasculation in a relationship

How can you tell if your guy is subconsciously starting to feel small or emasculated? Well, you can see the signs just by watching the way he communicates with you.

A guy who’s feeling small or emasculated would start to communicate less openly with you. He’d feel like he can’t say something to you because you’d think he’s stupid, dumb or a loser. A guy can confess about many things to his girl, but if it threatens his manliness, it’s the one thing he’d want to hide.

Men who’re emasculated by the world don’t want to appear weak. They hate having to ask for help because they believe they’d appear weak and less manly by asking for your help. [Read: 20 secret things guys wish girls knew about guys]

14 things you say or do that makes him feel emasculated

If you find that your husband or boyfriend is starting to communicate less about his work or the problems he’s experiencing, perhaps he feels emasculated already.

Or worse, you may be saying something to him that makes him believe you’d judge him negatively or think he’s less of a man.

A woman may not always play a part in emasculating her man, but if you do say or do any of these 14 things to him now and then, big chances are, you’re emasculating him already!

#1 You take over. Don’t push him aside and take over a conversation or an argument from him, especially because you believe he’s not arguing his case well enough. The fact that you intervened and cut him away from the argument would make him believe you think he can’t stand up for himself.

#2 You brag about your history. Do you brag now and then about your sexual history just to put him down, knowing full well that he can’t compete with you? Sex is a big part of a man’s mind. And if he knows he’s not as experienced as you, he’d just want to go out there and notch a few more to feel man enough again. [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships with your current partner]

#3 Scoff at his salary. A guy subconsciously feels like the hunter and the provider in the relationship. Scoffing at the one thing he believes is his role, which is earning money for the family, would definitely make him feel like he’s less of a man.

#4 Tell him he’s a wimp. Don’t call your man a coward just because he couldn’t confront someone or couldn’t deal with a situation. Instead, reason with him and converse with him about what the better action could have been, while empathizing with him at the same time. [Read: How the power of words can make or break your relationship]

#5 Compare him to other men in bad light. No guy likes being compared negatively to another guy, especially by his own girlfriend or wife.

#6 Talk about his flaws. If there are flaws about your guy that you need to confront, talk about it in private, and never in front of his friends or your friends. Talking about his weaknesses in front of others would anger him and make him withdraw from you emotionally. [Read: 12 important tips to be a happy couple that's envied by everyone else]

#7 “I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it”. Hearing this line from a woman he loves feels like a painful low blow on his crotch. And the worst part is that he can’t even argue his case himself because he’s failed in your eyes and he knows it.

#8 Stare at the ceiling when he’s on top of you. You really can’t blame yourself if you don’t enjoy having sex with him. But if he stares into your eyes while both of you are locked in a passionate embrace and he sees you staring at the ceiling or yawning like you’re bored or would rather read a magazine, his member would shrivel into a raisin in no time. The same goes with faking it and getting caught too! [Read: 10 sexy ways to make long term sex or married sex feel like a one night stand]

#9 Tell him you’ve seen bigger. Almost every guy knows there would be other men who have bigger packages. But it’s a truth he’d rather not acknowledge or talk about. A guy wants to believe that he’s the biggest thing that’s been inside of you.

To a guy, other guys who have bigger packages is an urban legend or a myth, something that may be possible but there’s no evidence to back it up. But if you ever do tell him that you’ve personally seen bigger ones, that’s a big blow to his ego because it shatters the myth and turns it into a reality. [Read: Does size matter? - Decode your size compatibility using tips from the Kama Sutra]

#10 Criticize or downplay his achievements. Does your man proudly announce his achievements to you, however small they may be? And if he does, how do you respond to it? With a pat on his back and a big smile, or with a “oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you can do better next time”? Downplaying even his smallest achievements would only make him more distant from you. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

#11 Yelling at him. Yelling at your man is acceptable, but only if he’s a yeller himself who can argue his case. But if your guy isn’t a yeller himself, you’d only scare him and make him whimper away to a corner.

#12 You make him feel like a failure. You may not say anything directly to him. But for some reason or another, or by your actions, if your man starts to think that you think he’s not good enough, he would surely feel emasculated by that thought.

#13 Flirt with other men. Flirting with other men is never bad, as long as you do it the right way. Flirt with other men when you’re at a party or a get-together, but as soon as your man steps into the room, talk to other men but make sure you cling on to your man’s arms and give him all your attention. Just watching how all the other men in the room envy him will give your guy a huge ego and a boost of masculinity! [Read: How flirting while you’re in a relationship can better your relationship]

But if you flirt with other men, and completely ignore your own man, then you’d definitely emasculate him and infuriate him too. It’s very similar to how a guy would feel when he’s cheated on by his girlfriend.

#14 Telling him he’s not man enough. This is the biggest emasculation blow a man can get. Don’t ever tell your man you think he’s not man enough just because he doesn’t behave the way you think he should have in a particular situation.

How to help your guy feel less emasculated

Emasculated men don’t feel unhappy. Unhappy men feel emasculated. It’s the simple truth.

If your man is happy with his life, proud of his achievements and feels confident about his own abilities, he just won’t feel emasculated even if you criticize him for not being man enough. His own ego would cushion the blow and he’d still feel very much like the manly macho man he thinks he is. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they'll never forget!]

Only when a man is down in the dirt and feels emasculated himself would any rude statements from you emasculate him further and push him deeper into his shell. So remember this, if your man feels emasculated, it’s not your fault he feels like less of a man.

But of course, by avoiding saying things that emasculate him further and by giving him the emotional support, you can help him bounce back faster and become a better man all at once. [Read: 20 sweet ways to make your man really happy!]

Here are 6 ways you can boost your man’s morale and help him feel more like a man. Use these ways and he’d be a happier guy and a better boyfriend or husband too!

#1 Stop treating him like a child. Yelling at him like you would at a child will only emasculate him further. If there’s something that you want to talk about, talk to each other calmly. [Read: 10 tips to fight fair and better the relationship]

#2 Don’t tell him how he could have done something better when he talks about his bad day or tells you about a mistake he committed. Doing this stops communication because you’re already offering a solution when he wants to talk about the options he has. Just listen to him and offer suggestions without forcing it down his throat.

#3 Give him his space. Give him some time off every week so he can go out or spend some time by himself. Help him have a social life with other men or subtly suggest he do something manly by asking him to help you fix something around the house that needs heavy lifting or manual labor. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and feel closer!]

#4 Thank him when he offers his help. A man will feel more like a man when his woman behaves like a lady around him. Be courteous to him, and when he does something for you he considers manly, like lifting something heavy, fixing a door, or opening the lid of a tight jar, thank him and compliment his strength or his manliness at the same time. It’ll give him the macho boost he so badly craves from you. [Read: 10 ways to be a lady who awes her man and everyone else]

#5 Self improvement. Make suggestions for him or help him become better at something he’s already good at. Motivate him without babying him. Every time he succeeds at something, or achieves something through your motivation, he’d be grateful to you and feel more like a man at the same time.

#6 Communicate with each other. Open up and talk about each other’s failures and successes without being judgmental. And most importantly, empathize with your man and tell him clearly that you understand what he’s going through, and that you too would have been just as confused if you were in his place. [Read: The best ways to improve communication in a relationship]

By saying that, you’re comforting him and letting him know that it’s human to make mistakes, while offering suggestions at the same time. And no egos enter the picture here because you’re stating that you would have felt just as helpless as him if you were in his place. [Read: 25 perfect topics to talk about in a happy relationship]

And once he learns to communicate with you instead of feeling threatened or emasculated by you, he’d only feel more confident about himself, and love you more for being the best thing to happen in his life!

[Read: 25 must-follow rules for a successful relationship]

Do you feel like you emasculate your man in some way or the other? Just keep these 14 things in mind. And most importantly, help your guy feel less emasculated by communicating with him. After all, love can only get better with communication!


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Have your say!
  • Beryl
    March 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    Wow, you think you wrote enough scolding to women?. Are you kidding me? You have made the whole world al about a woman’s man.’

    Where is the article that is written about us women?

  • Micksnark
    March 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    I think it was a pretty solid article. It isn’t about making a man your entire universe, it’s about protecting the man you already love. Emasculation causes serious damage, the same way degradation can cause serious damage to women.

    Good piece.

  • Axelle
    April 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    I went through this too. My wife walked out on our marriage after 4 years. Unfortunately, she had a very similar childhood as you did Dani an alcoholic, verbal and sexually abusive father. Add to that a mother that developed paranoid schizophrenia when my wife was 10. I came from a very loving family where you worked out your problems. Also, my dad was the breadwinner and my mom raised the kids. For us too, after we were married it was like this level of expectation grew hugely from my wife for me to be something super human. I did so much to love her and care for her, be dependable the way her parents weren’t, but she was never happy. She went into therapy for repressed memories that began to surface and I supported her in this time. I read books to better understand what she was going through and it was very helpful. The affects of a stolen childhood certainly echo into future relationships. We both talked about how so much of our’ problems were connected to her past, but alas, it was almost like she self-sabotaged the relationship in the end and left over issues that a couple should be able to work out. But to be honest I’m glad that it has ended. I’m a good man. I did what I could for her. But in retrospect, I was being abused by her verbally. My self esteem as a man was bruised and it’s taken me a long time to regain my self confidence. I totally agree with you, men and women are very different and how we were raised and what situations we grew up in can have a major affect on our love relationships. One other thing I will add is that I’m all for independent women,’ but when women act like men because of what society and the feminist message seems to teach them to be like, I think that you have to look at the consequences for the way in which men and women get along romantically because of those messages. In my opinion, it’s not good! I love women for being women. It’s not attractive to me (and to many of my male friends I’ve polled) when women don’t give men the space to be men. It’s a very confusing world for the two sexes to find a way to be together harmoniously. I think that the breakdown of the traditional family is a major contributing factor to why successful marriages are so rare these days. My 2 cents.

  • kenneth priddy
    April 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    married 54 yrs, wife about 18 yrs ago stopped wanting sex at all. awhile back tried to discuss the problem again. She said ‘what’s the point, I can’t feel you ’cause you are too small’. Dr. says I am much bigger than average. I can not get over it….sad, angry,and so many other emotions. Emasculation….YEAH

  • arferdog
    May 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    If a guy is constantly insulting me, acting like a ten year old trying to make me cry and then wondering why I don’t want to have sex with him, I’m going to fight back. I’m going to stand up for myself, and the second I do, I’m going to hear “Boo hoo you emasculated me.” Grow up, assholes.

  • Alpha
    May 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    The Female Ego Epidemic

    How more and more women have an over inflated sense of themselves.
    USA women are more egocentric and narcissistic than they ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

    More have huge expectations of themselves, their lives and everyone in them. They think the universe resolves around them , with a deluded sense of their own fabulousness, and believe they are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than they actually are.

    They have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because they are so preoccupied with Themselves. Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance. Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-it is everywhere.

    Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are ‘special’.

    And it’s not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship. But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

    In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single.

    A 40-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

    A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female – independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

    She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. ‘I do what I like, when I like,’ she said.

    She’d been told, and appears to believe, that she’s too successful and too well-educated for most men.

    The third woman, a 30-year- old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down.

    Another, a 29-year-old, said she was too picky. She was looking for a guy who is (just) tall enough. And good-looking enough (but not too good-looking so that she’d play second fiddle).

    He needs to be successful, solvent and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes, with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny. He needs to ‘speak good restaurant’, to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

    Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter. And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis.

    These women tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them. ‘They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people. ‘They invariably reject every guy’s profile that is sent to them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: “I’m so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?”

    ‘In the past few years, I’ve noticed a real sense of entitlement among this small group of women. The idea that a guy might not find them as amazing as they find themselves doesn’t enter their head.

    ‘They often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down. Most people simply accept the facts of the dating game: some people will find you attractive and others won’t, in the same way that you’ll be drawn to some but not others.

    These women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share the distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.’

    I personally had a Eureka moment when I read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women. According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women. An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

    The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better – either intellectually or physically – than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathize; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behavior or attitude

    What researchers have also identified, and are far more worried about, is what has been described as ‘normal’ narcissism – a cultural shift that has seen even non-narcissistic people seduced by the emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance and celebrity worship.

    The researchers believe our culture especially social media, brings out narcissistic behavior in almost all of us. They blame the internet (where ‘fame’ is a click away), reality television (where the lure of fame without talent is most prevalent), easy credit (which enables people to buy far beyond their ability to pay), celebrity worship, our highly consumerist, competitive and individualistic society, and a generation of indulgent parents who have raised their children to think they’re special, amazing and perfect.

    This focus on self-admiration has caused a cultural flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy. We have phony rich people (who actually have massive mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (via plastic surgery), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation) and phony friends (with the social networking explosion).

    I my lifetime had hoped to meet a down to earth woman. I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I’m left feeling that this isn’t what women are looking for.

    ‘It’s as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they’re waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They’re not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That’s not good enough for them.

    I’ve never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and lack of basic courtesy. ‘It was as if dating men is simply a forum for guys to tell them how exceptional they are.

    One girl told me repeatedly how many young guys at the gym asked her out; another was very artificial. I wondered how sensitive her fragile ego would react if she was told the truth by the men in her life?

    ‘You sensed that they absolutely worshipped themselves, though none of them was drop-dead gorgeous or had amazing personalities, jobs or anything else to set them apart and elevate themselves into some superior position. They are often time quite average in all aspect except their concept of themselves.

    ‘I also thought it was quite telling that none of them had ever been married, engaged or had recently – or perhaps ever – been in a long-term relationship. ‘I got the feeling that these women were living in a Sex And The City-inspired fantasy world.

    I also sensed that nobody would ever be good enough for them. ‘They seem to be looking for something that doesn’t exist: Mr Perfect, or perhaps some larger-than-life, dashingly handsome and unattainable character such as that portrayed by Mr Big. Nothing else will do.’

    ‘I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they’re too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.

    ‘But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It’s a way of rationalizing things. It’s as if it’s easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality – that they are completely ordinary.’

  • Elle5005
    May 31, 2014 | Permalink |

    All of these things listed are things that men do to women also to bruise the female ego. The issue goes both ways.

  • Orlando
    July 22, 2014 | Permalink |

    So, let me get this right. If I feel emasculated it’s entirely my fault. Hmmm…? That’s like jumping in the ocean and not getting wet… So, if you’re a ‘real man’ all that emascution shouldn’t cause you to fret; because only real men have a default immune to emasculation gene that somehow thrives in midst of psychological adversity, despite however ignorant you are of psychological abuse you may ever be. So, even if she’s evil; you’re still a whimp in character. Fine article indeed :)

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