As much as all fairy tales and chick flicks harp on about perfect romances and happily ever afters, if you’re in a relationship with a mean boyfriend, you know your love life is far from being a perfect romance.
Sometimes, relationships are just a pain in all the wrong places.
But then again, are all fairy tales wrong?
If you’re dating a guy who’s really mean, maybe he’s not the guy for you, or just maybe it’s all just a big silly misunderstanding.
And once the confusions are all sorted out, perhaps you could move on to your own happily ever after.
But everything sweet and nice starts with you getting a better understanding of your own relationship.
[Read: 7 secret signs of a bad relationship]
Why is your boyfriend mean?
Some guys are just bad boyfriends, and you can’t change them or help them because they don’t want to change. And the more you try to help them become a better person, the more mean and annoying they get.
And in almost all other cases, it could be a lack of communication or several other little reasons that can be sorted with time and better understanding of each other’s wants and needs. [Read: 20 secret things guys wish girls knew about guys]
16 reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean
If you’re dealing with a boyfriend who ignores you, is rude, or just plain mean, use these 16 signs to get to the bottom of his mean issues.
#1 He’s not serious. Is he really serious about your relationship? You can never tell unless he says it himself, but perhaps your boyfriend is an annoying pig who isn’t really serious about you or the relationship.
#2 He’s playing you. Your boyfriend could be a bad boy potential who’s just toying with your feelings by being unpredictable. And he knows that the more he pushes you away, the more it’ll leave you confused and addicted to him.
#3 Lack of communication. You think he’s mean, but have you ever really voiced your thoughts to him? For all you know, your boyfriend probably has no idea you’re even upset with him. You need to tell him how you feel.
#4 He has an addiction. If a guy isn’t in control of his own life, chances are, he’s addicted to something and puts his addiction before you. It could be a video game, or something much worse.
#5 His mother didn’t teach him any manners. It’s true, most guys just look at the way their fathers behave at home and do everything just like their fathers do. If your boyfriend’s dad is a slob or his mother didn’t teach him his manners, he probably thinks he’s the perfect guy already because he’s just like his dad.
#6 He’s using you. This is frustratingly sad, but the guy you love may only be using you to get something from you. He may want you as his arm candy to show you off, or it may just be the sex too. [Read: 7 signs he’s using you for all the wrong reasons]
#7 He’s bored of you. If a guy is getting bored of you or the relationship, he’s not worth your time. You can use a few moves to keep him interested. But that’ll happen only if he’s already in love with you. And really, should you try to keep a guy interested in you when all he wants to do is walk away from you? [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]
#8 You’re not important to him. He may be the most important part of your life. But to him, you may only be a small part of his evenings. If both your expectations in love don’t match, it’s hard to have a perfect relationship with each other.
#9 He thinks you’re clingy. Sometimes, your guy may need his own space now and then. He may feel like you’re always around him, and may want his own space for a while. But if you don’t believe you’re clingy, you shouldn’t be dating a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself because you’re in love with him. [Read: 13 clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid it]
#10 Payback. Have you recently cheated on him or hurt him in some manner? This may be your boyfriend’s childish attempt at getting back at you.
#11 He’s a coward. He may want to break up with you, and because he’s such a scared coward, he may assume that being mean is the easiest way to force you to dump him first. If he’s been a nice boyfriend all this while and has suddenly started to get mean and distant, you need to bring up that breakup conversation to see what he has in mind. [Read: Conversation tips on breaking up with someone you love]
#12 There’s someone else on his mind. You may love your boyfriend, but he may be in love with you and infatuated by someone else.
#13 You’re helpless without him. Do you feel like you have no life without him? If you feel helpless without your boyfriend around you, it may force him to get mean, just so you can stand up on your own feet again. Be independent and confident, and it’ll help your boyfriend appreciate you for the real individual you are. [Read: 10 annoying girlfriend habits that guys hate]
#14 You’re misunderstanding him. Is he really a mean boyfriend, or did you just misunderstand what he said. Just because your boyfriend says you look okay doesn’t mean he thinks you’re plain jane material. Sometimes, guys just don’t have a way with words and end up using words that seem worse than what they really mean.
#15 Both of you have different needs. You want to spend more time with each other, but he believes a relationship means meeting once a week. If your relationship compatibilities don’t match, you can’t be happy and he’ll always seem mean. [Read: 50 relationship questions to text your compatibility]
#16 He’s a bad person. It’s true. Sometimes, the guy you’re dating may be a really bad guy who treats you like dirt, and expects you to treat him like a king. If you’re emotionally tormented by a boyfriend who treats you disrespectfully, leave him. He’s not just mean, he’s scum.
If you find your boyfriend mean, and you’re trying to make the relationship work by changing yourself for him, stop that. Instead, speak to him about it. Sometimes, all you need is a conversation to sort things out. If he’s truly serious about you, he’ll push the panic button and try to turn himself into the nicest boyfriend just so he can keep you happy. [Read: The true power of words in a relationship]
It’s not always your fault
It’s not always your fault, remember that. Sometimes, you may be the best girlfriend in the whole world. And you may be stuck with a good boyfriend who has different expectations from a relationship, or he may just be a bad boyfriend.
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with him about how you feel, and if he doesn’t care or if he doesn’t want to change for you, it obviously shows that he’s not serious about you. He doesn’t look at you as his better half. Instead, he only looks at you as an accessory to satisfy his own needs. Do you really need a guy like that?
Break up with your boyfriend if he doesn’t change his behavior. It’ll hurt for a few weeks, but that pain is a drop in the ocean compared to the years and years of suffering you’ll have to put up with, just to try and please him and keep him happy while you suffer like a martyr. [Read: 10 things girls should never say to guys]
If you’re not happy, you’re not. Don’t go changing yourself just to fit into someone else’s image of a perfect girlfriend. You can try to be a better person by weaning off your negative traits, but you should never change yourself for someone when you don’t feel the need to.
[Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
Dealing with a mean boyfriend is really simple. All you need to do is talk. And if that doesn’t work, you need to walk!
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