11 Reasons Why He Hasn’t Asked You to Marry Him Yet

why hasn't me asked you to marry him yet?

Have you been with your boyfriend for a while, and are starting to wonder if he’s ever going to propose? We’ll help you figure out what the holdup is.

For many women, getting married is one of the main goals of their lives. They fantasize about diamond rings, wedding dresses, and saying that special, “I do” in front of all their friends and family. However, men aren’t as enthused with the idea of marriage as women usually are. Though the idea of being married is also important to them, the whole hullabaloo of getting a ring, proposing and planning a wedding may not be as appealing.

Why he hasn’t proposed yet

If you’re wondering why he hasn’t popped the question, here are a few things that might be running through his mind.

#1 He’s a commitment-phobe. For one reason or another, some men simply fear commitment like the plague. It could be because they had a bad experience committing to an ex, who turned out to be crazy, or because some other negative experience with commitment has scarred them.

These commitment issues can be worked out. However, it will take some time before he starts getting used to the idea of being able to settle down. [Read: 12 telltale signs he has commitment issues]

#2 He’s worried about losing some of his freedom. Getting married can mean having increased responsibilities, especially when kids get involved. Your boyfriend may simply be debating whether or not he wants to give up the whole bachelor lifestyle in favor of walking down the aisle.

#3 He’s too busy right now. Sometimes, life really can become very busy. Planning a wedding can take a lot of time and effort. Perhaps your man just can’t fit it into his schedule right now. If he is going through something really important at work, or with his family, the idea of marriage may be shoved to the back of his mind. But who knows what could happen a few months down the road?

#4 He’s still in love with his ex. Hopefully, this isn’t the case, but sometimes if a guy isn’t proposing, he may still have some unfinished business with his ex. If he’s still liking her pictures or making flirty comments on her Instagram, or talking to her frequently, those could be warning signs. [Read: 13 signs he’s still not over his ex]

#5 He’s in love with someone other than his ex. If you notice that your boyfriend is spending a significant amount of time hanging out with one of the sexy females in his life like his hot female friend, his coworker or his fitness trainer, it might be something to look into. Sometimes a guy will avoid bringing things to the next level, if there is still a part of him holding out for something better.

#6 He hasn’t bought the ring yet. It is common knowledge that men are usually less enthusiastic about shopping than women are. An engagement ring is a very important purchase, and maybe your man is putting it off, because he’s afraid of not being able to find the right one.

If this is the case, then he’s thinking of a wedding in the near future. Now all it takes is a little help to get him to finally buy that ring.

#7 He could be putting off asking your father for permission. Despite the fact that the times have changed, many couples still prefer tradition when it comes to marriage and proposals. One of the most classic of these traditions is for the man to ask the woman’s father for permission to marry his daughter.

If your boyfriend has a less than average relationship with your father, this could be an obstacle in the way of your perfect proposal. Your boyfriend could be out there, sweating that your father is going to say no. That would be difficult for him, because he really likes you and wants to marry you. He might be trying to figure out how to make sure your protective father won’t reject him, and chase him out of the property with a shotgun. [Read: 14 undeniable signs he wants to spend his life with you]

#8 He could be waiting for his older brother to propose to his girlfriend first. Sometimes brothers, in a similar way to sisters, have a sort of timeline when it comes to marriage. The older brother may expect the younger brother to wait for him to propose to his girlfriend first. Not respecting the timeline can upset the older brother. So, if your boyfriend has an older brother who isn’t engaged yet, this may be something to consider.

#9 He may be unsure about being a father. Marriage often comes right before parenthood, and this could be scary for your boyfriend. Sometimes, men aren’t sure if they are ready to be fathers, or if they will be able to do the job correctly, even if they are ready.

Fatherhood includes both being able to constantly provide, and being able to help your child grow into adulthood. It is a very big task, and your boyfriend might be lacking confidence in this area. Perhaps, you should discuss it with him to find out if it is something he has been worrying about.

#10 He might not want to be the only married guy in his group of friends.  If your boyfriend doesn’t have a lot of married friends, this could be part of the reason why he is putting off the proposal. Being the first one through the marriage gate can be a little bit overwhelming for a guy.

So if you notice that most of his friends are single, or are in relationships, but aren’t married yet, this could be what the stalling is all about. Tip: If there is any way to help his friends become more enthusiastic about marriage, that might be worth the effort. Guys often consider their friends’ opinions when making decisions.

#11 He might have more that he wants to do in life first. Marriage is the end of the carefree single life, where you can just take risks and live completely selfishly. Your boyfriend may not have gotten that trip to Europe, or that startup attempt out of his system yet.

Before he starts focusing more on building a family, he may just need to get some risk-taking behavior out of his system. After all, once he has a mortgage and kids, there will be a lot less opportunity to take risks. But don’t be discouraged, once he is through this phase, he will most likely crave a family, and to settle down. [Read: 10 hints guys give if he wants more space]

So ladies, if your boyfriend is moving as fast as a sloth in terms of proposing, hopefully these tips will help you get to the bottom of his procrastination. The reason why he is stalling may have nothing to do with how much he likes you. In fact, your boyfriend may be madly in love with you, but he’s just trying to work his way through all of the ins and outs of being engaged and getting married.

[Read: 9 undeniable signs your guy is husband material]

Just because his hand is a little slow on the proposal trigger, doesn’t mean you should stop secretly fantasizing about your dream wedding. It also doesn’t mean that you should start flipping through your mental rolodex of available singles you know. Just give him a little time, and maybe a gentle nudge, and who knows, he might suddenly surprise you with a proposal!

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DISCUSSION

2 thoughts on “11 Reasons Why He Hasn’t Asked You to Marry Him Yet”

  1. oldlady says:

    I just don’t know why he doesn’t want to marry me yet. We’ve been together for 20 years, so that should be no excuse not to marry me. We don’t have kids yet and we’re going on 35. I read the article and I’m sure he doesn’t have an older brother because he is the eldest and his younger brother already got married so I know it’s not that. I just can’t seem to pinpoint the exact reason. I tried talking to him about it and he just says it’s a waste of money to get married. He says we already love each other and been together for more than most married couples and we don’t have to prove anything.

  2. Kate M. says:

    OMG! This article scared me so so much. What if all of these points are true? Will Mark never propose? Oh it’s possible that he is afraid of my stepdad. They always have opposing opinions about football and stuff. But we can handle that. And if he hasn’t bought the ring yet or he doesn’t have money no biggie. We can sort it out somehow. What frightens me is the thought that he might still love his ex or he is not ready to leave his ‘freedom’ and commit to me. Oh I’ll go crazy. What do you think?

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