Narcissistic Husband: 22 Warning Signs You’re Looking at One
They say that you never really know the person you married, but here are the clear signs to watch for to see if you have a narcissistic husband.
Maybe you thought that he always looked at himself in the mirror because he was self-conscious of the mole above his lip. Or that he didn’t buy you flowers on your birthday because they were sold out of roses. Or, maybe he’s just a narcissistic husband?
22 signs that you have a narcissistic husband
It’s one thing to hang out with someone who’s a narcissist, and it’s another thing to marry one. I would know, my whole family is basically made of up them. Although I’d like to think I’m not one. But, if you look at the warning signs, you can completely avoid making the huge mistake of marrying one.
Look at these 22 signs and see if these signs are recurring in your marriage.
#1 Everyone loves him at first. Now, we all love looking at ourselves in the mirror, let’s not pretend we’re angels. But, there’s a line where it gets too much. If he can’t walk by a mirror or window without admiring himself in front of it, there’s an issue. There’s self-love, and then there’s self-obsession. [Read: Clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]
#2 He loves to talk about himself. We all love talking about ourselves, let’s not lie. But this guy is turning every conversation into a story about himself. If you’re talking about saving the killer whales, and all of a sudden it turns into a conversation about the shoes he just bought, well, not only is he a narcissist, he’s an idiot.
#3 He changes over time. At first, he may have been extremely charming and attentive. However, that won’t last for long. If you notice him slowly becoming more self-absorbed, this isn’t something new. In fact, you’ve been taken for a ride.
He’s been manipulating you and trying to get you blinded by his false personality. But don’t worry, you’ll see his true colors soon.
#4 He is always looking in the mirror. If the guy can’t walk by a window or mirror without staring at himself in amazement, well, he has a problem. I mean, we all look at ourselves in the mirror, but if he’s looking at himself like he’s never seen beauty like this before, give me a break. He’s a narcissistic husband. [Read: 12 signs of a narcissist and ways to break up with them]
#5 He loves to name drop. He eats at the same restaurant as Beyonce, Justin Bieber has the same shoes as him, and Obama goes to his doctor. It’s all about self-exaggeration and feeling important with him. He wants to impress everyone around him and have them think that he’s something special and should be admired.
#6 He’s always looking for the best. He wants the best for himself. Who doesn’t? The difference is, however, that he will go through hoops to get the newest iPhone, or basically anything that represents a higher status. He wants to be the best of the best. And this goes for you as well. If you’re slipping in his eyes, you’ll soon be replaced.
#7 It’s all about the look. He probably spends a lot of time shopping for himself and working on his appearance until he reaches perfection. There’s nothing wrong with a guy working out daily. However, if all he’s doing is working on his body but he can’t talk about anything else but that, then he is a narcissistic husband. [Read: Signs you’re dating a self-obsessed narcissist]
#8 He’s #1. He will always be #1. His clothes and shoes are #2, his car is #3, and then you’re #4. You will never be the first on his list. Narcissistic husbands are very good at taking care of themselves and their things because that’s all they care about.
#9 He’s a taker. There are people that give, people that take, and people that are a combination of both. If you’re buying him the newest shoes or providing him with attention and he’s doing nothing in return, he’s abusing the love you’re giving him because he thinks he deserves it.
#10 He’s all about showing off. He wants the best and he wants to look the best. He’s all about showing off his new car on Instagram and popping bottles of champagne. He wants to be viewed as a high-status person who is above the typical population. If he’s obsessed about gaining followers and taking the perfect selfie, that’s a warning sign. [Read: Types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
#11 He doesn’t care about your feelings. I cannot be any more clear than this. If he never listens to your issues or shows empathy, he doesn’t care about you. If he cared, he would be attentive and understanding. However, he’s a narcissistic husband and more concerned about how much protein you’ll be putting into his post-workout shake.
#12 He lives by his rules. If you made some house rules and you’re hoping that he’ll follow them, well, good luck. He’s going to do what he wants, when he wants. If the rules inconvenience him in any way, he’ll break them. Why would he follow rules that he didn’t create?
#13 He doesn’t want to hear about your problems. He doesn’t want to hear your problems because he doesn’t care. You may have thought it’s because he’s so deep and complex – like he can’t hear your issues because it hurts him so much. You’re wrong, he doesn’t care about you. It’s all about him. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]
#14 It’s always your fault. Even if he knocked over the glass of milk, it’s your fault because you distracted him. It’s always your fault. A narcissistic husband can never be wrong, and if they are, they’ll spin it and put it on you. Eventually, you’ll get so tired of arguing with them that you’ll just give in. But you don’t have to, you can just dump him instead and live a happy life.
#15 He thinks he’s special. Sure, he’s special alright. He thinks he’s a gift to the world and that people should be kissing his feet. This feeling of being ‘special’ can only be understood by those who are also special, aka… high-status people. Your head is probably hurting by now while reading this. I don’t blame you.
#16 He’s a control freak. When I say freak, I mean FREAK. It’s one thing to have a slight control issue when it comes to group projects in high school, but this is a whole other level. Usually, narcissistic husbands will not let you make any decisions. They will always have the final say and if they don’t like it, well, too bad for you. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 tips to do the right thing]
#17 He feels entitled to everything. He will get that new Porsche, you know why? Because he thinks he deserves it. He deserves everything he lays his eyes on. Narcissistic husbands feel that they own the world and that everyone should admire them. This means that they don’t take ‘no’ so easily.
#18 You feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Not sure if what you’re going to say is going to piss him off and start a fight? It could be that you have no filter when you speak, or it could be that he’s a narcissistic husband.
If you’re feeling anxious and uncertain about voicing a thought or opinion, that’s not healthy. It shows that he has full control of the relationship, and that you don’t feel comfortable communicating with him due to his defensive behavior.
#19 He always needs attention. If you make eye contact with your male friend, he’ll say you’re cheating on him. If you spend some time with your family, he’ll say you’re neglecting him. It’s because your eyes aren’t on him. He doesn’t want you to spend time with your family or friends, he wants you 100% devoted and obsessed with him. [Read: Subtle signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]
#20 Everything is revolved around him. If he’s sick and you two have tickets to see your favorite band, you’re not going. Why not? Because he can’t go. And plus, who’s going to take care of him while you’re gone? Everything is about him. Every event you plan, every vacation – it all has to be pre-approved by him, and his goals and plans. It’s not about you.
#21 Takes everything personally. The narcissistic husband is more sensitive than a woman on her period. If you tease him or criticize something he’s done, watch out. He’s not going to like it. Like a child, he’ll act out and then spin it on you, blaming you for his wrongdoing. [Read: Early warning signs of a really bad partner]
#22 He puts you down. Narcissistic husbands are all about being superior to everyone. And the only way they can do that is by pushing others below them. If you find him insulting you or putting you down, he’s not only being abusive, but he’s trying to make himself appear more powerful than you. You don’t need that.
If your partner is only showing one of these signs, then he’s probably not a narcissist. However, if you’re seeing more than a few of these behaviors, then you may be with a narcissist husband.