Life’s too short to be in a relationship with someone who’s not actually into you. If you wonder, is my boyfriend gay, these 12 tips help you know.
If, after reading this, your answer to is my boyfriend gay is a yes, don’t freak out and start a social media frenzy. Remember, you’re with them for a reason. He’s not a bad person, he’s just going through his own shit. I know you may feel used right now and I completely understand why. However, it’s not going to change the situation.
He’s not going to turn straight after realizing he’s hurt you. If anything, breakup with him, but be supportive while he figures himself out.
Is my boyfriend gay?
Figuring out your own sexuality isn’t easy. Along the way, you may end up hurting some people or doing things that don’t feel right. If you read this, you already have a feeling that something is off with your partner. Now, I know you’re upset but really don’t be.
Of course, you may be feeling like the relationship you’re in is a lie, but it’s not. They do care about you. However, they’re struggling with their own sexuality right now. Is my boyfriend gay? It’s time you found out.
#1 You feel it. Women have intuition and thank god for that. If for a split second you feel something in your gut that suggests something is off—listen to it. Of course, it doesn’t mean he’s gay, but you know something isn’t right. If you feel it, follow it. More often than not, your gut instinct is right. [Read: 13 steps to let go and love more]
#2 He doesn’t check out other women. At first, you thought it was so sweet that he doesn’t look at other women, that he only had eyes for you. Listen, we’re sexual beings. Just because you’re taken doesn’t mean you don’t check out other people. For men, it’s a reflex. They check out every woman they find attractive. [Read: 20 almost-sure signs your boyfriend is gay]
#3 He checks out other men. He may not make comments on other women, but he comments on another guy and how he looks. Of course, straight men comment on other men, but, usually in extreme circumstances. If the guy is really good looking or has a specific physical trait. Instead, your boyfriend scans every man that walks by, maybe even making eye contact.
#4 He’s touchy with other men. Now, in certain cultures such as Middle Eastern, South Asian, and East Asian, holding hands, kissing, or hugging another man is normal and does not mean they’re gay. However, in Western cultures, usually physical contact between men is kept to a minimum. So, look at your boyfriend’s background and then associate with the way he physically communicates with other men.
#5 He’s a homophobe. Your boyfriend cannot stand gay men. In fact, he comments on how disgusting it is and that he doesn’t like gay people. Why is he so angry about people who are gay? Most straight men do not care about what gay people do. But if your boyfriend is visibly angry and disgusted, that’s a really big sign that they themselves are insecure about their sexuality. [Read: Why are most men afraid of homosexuals?]
#6 Your sex life has decreased. Now, your sex life could have decreased for other reasons, so don’t focus on this sign alone. But if there are multiple signs on this list and he’s not having sex with you, then his sexuality could be a reason. If you two never really had much of a sex life, ask yourself why.
#7 Sexuality matters to him, big time. For people secure with their sexuality, it doesn’t matter who’s gay, bisexual, or straight. But if your boyfriend asks a lot of questions about other people’s sexuality, that’s a sign. I mean, if he asks occasionally, not a big deal. But if it’s a frequent topic when you two are out with other people, it’s weird.
#8 He has a secretive social media life. You really don’t know what he’s doing online. Maybe you found out he has an account on a gay dating site. Well, that’s a pretty good sign he’s gay. Maybe he has a lot of different men on his social media, many of them mutual friends. No one has copious amounts of men or joins a gay dating site just out of harmless curiosity.
#9 Sexual experience with men doesn’t make him gay. So, you found out in his past he had a sexual encounter with another guy, of course, you think he’s gay. But, there are other forms of sexuality on the spectrum. He could be bisexual. However, this is something he needs to figure out. [Read: 12 things you should never say when dating a bisexual]
#10 He’s really into gay porn. Maybe you surfed the internet and found some of his favorite porn sites. Again, it doesn’t mean he’s gay. If he’s really into gay porn that’s something to take note of.
#11 He tells you. This is really the only way you know for sure where he stands with his sexuality. No matter how many of these signs you see, unless he’s on a gay dating site, that’s pretty obvious, you never really know until he says it. If I were you, I’d talk to him as soon as possible. [Read: 10 subtle clues someone is likely gay]
#12 Remember, he may not be gay. I have to say this again because it’s important. Do not just assume he’s gay. There are different types of sexuality other than straight and gay. He could be bisexual in which he is sexually attracted to both women and men.