Is He Attracted to Me? 17 Quick Clues that’ll Reveal the Answer

is he attracted to me

You’ve been eyeing the coffee shop boy for weeks now. He says hi to you, you make some small talk but you’re left wondering, is he attracted to me?

I know, as a woman, we’ve all encountered this question—is he attracted to me? You may be talking to a guy, but you can’t seem to figure out if he likes you. He could be really shy, unsure of how to approach you, or he could simply not be interested. I mean, no option is ideal, but I’d rather take the first over the latter any day.

But for some men, you know right away where they stand with you, while others make you feel like you’re deciphering the code.

Is he attracted to me?

Now, don’t think you have to decipher the code in order to see if he’s interested, it shouldn’t be that complex. But, you do have to pay attention to what he’s doing. If he is shy, he’ll never approach you or outright flirt with you, that’s not his style. He may wait months, even years, before he gets the courage to make a move.

You don’t need to wait that long, that is, if you’re interested in him. If you don’t like him, well, I’m not even sure why you’re reading this. So, let’s get you on board with what you need to look out for so you can answer the infamous question, is he attracted to me? There are signs, you just need to keep your eyes open.

#1 Don’t look at one situation. You cannot base anything off of one single situation that happened between you two. What you look for is a pattern. For example, say a guy smiles at you while you’re in line at the grocery store. That’s a good sign, but it still means nothing.

Now, you leave the grocery store and he walks by you and says something. That is a sign. He didn’t need to talk to you, but he went out of his way to do so. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]

#2 Take small risks. Now, I’m not saying you need to confess your undying love for him and go down on your knee proposing. But you should take small risks to see if there’s a reaction. You want to do a little bit more than what you usually do.

So, if you like the coffee shop guy, instead of just saying hi, ask him how his weekend was. This is a small risk to see if he reacts positively. If he just nods and says, “It was good,” well, he’s not making a step forward to match the risk you made. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him warm up]

#3 He does something. If you chat away, and he just stands there nodding in silence, he’s not doing anything. If he is attracted to you, he will do something. By something, I mean, anything. He tries to keep the conversation going or start the conversation next time he sees you. If you literally get nothing back in return, he’s not interested.

#4 He hangs around you. If someone likes you, they want to spend time with you. It’s as simple as that. Now, maybe he’s too shy to ask you to hang out, so, feel free to make the first move. If he agrees to hang out with you, that’s a good sign. It doesn’t mean he likes you.

However, if you two continue hanging out, then, take it as a sign that he’s attracted to you. Both men and women do not invest copious amounts of time with people they don’t find attractive.

#5 He puts an effort into his appearance. When you like a guy, you take the extra time to make sure you look your best, right? So, why wouldn’t he? Okay, he probably isn’t doing his nails and makeup, but you notice he’s wearing cologne, a clean, stain-free shirt, fixed his hair. Though you may not think of it as a huge deal, it is. That is, unless, he’s already into his appearance. Then, you can’t really tell if it’s because of you or him. [Read: 12 science backed clues to know for sure if a guy likes you]

#6 He asks you questions. Because he wants to know more! He wants to know more about you, so he’s asking you what your favorite ice cream is, what your hobbies are—he’s trying to see what kind of person you are. At this point, he is attracted to you, but if he digs for information then he’s trying to see if you’re someone he could see himself with.

#7 He compliments you. Now, men compliment women all the time, so, I wouldn’t take this one sign with huge importance. I mean, this means that they may be attracted to you, but are they interested in you? It could be that he just wants to fuck you which I guess technically means he’s attracted to you. Anyways, the point is, if he notices your new haircut or that he likes your shirt, this means he’s watching you. [Read: 20 clear signs of attraction in a first conversation]

#8 He touches you. I don’t mean that he grabs your ass. If that happens, obviously, he’s attracted to you, but he clearly doesn’t respect you. I mean that he touches your arm or puts his hand on your back when you walk past him. These are respectful moments of physical contact but really do show that he’s attracted to you and values you. Which is much different from him just wanting to fuck you.

#9 He stands close to you. I don’t want to say he’s invading your personal space, but basically, he’s invading your personal space in a good way. If he’s attracted to you, you notice he sits closer to you than other guys.

Now, you can test this out by moving closer to him. For example, if you sit next to each other, slide closer to him. If he doesn’t move away for more space between you two, it’s a good sign that he’s into you. [Read: 16 giveaways to watch for if he’s attracted to you]

#10 Eye contact. From experience, I never look in the eyes of a guy who likes me when I don’t like them. I mean, I look at them, but I don’t do any prolonged glances in their direction. Why? I feel uncomfortable and it gives off the wrong vibe.

Eye contact is a very important part of attraction. If he gives you an ample amount of eye contact, that’s usually done when there’s romantic interest. Have you ever been around a guy who doesn’t like you? Yeah, he doesn’t even look at you.

#11 He’s all about smiling. When you’re around someone who makes you feel good, you can’t help but smile. Smiling is another important aspect between two people, especially if there’s romantic interest involved. Men and women tend to smile naturally when they’re around someone they like. If he only smiles with his mouth closed, there’s a high chance of him doing so just to be polite. [Read: Is he just shy or not interested? 15 ways to decode his behavior]

#12 He flirts. If he’s shy, he may not be able to flirt with you, but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested. Though, if he’s not the shy type, then he’ll probably try to flirt with you.

Now, flirting is not enough of a sign to show that he’s into you. I find myself flirting with many people that I have no intention of being with sometimes. But what happens at the end of your conversation? Does it just end there? Or does he try to subtly ask you out or wish to see you again? [Read: 14 ways to know for sure if a guy is flirting with you]

#13 You share similar interests. There’s a high chance that if you share similar interests with him, you both will find each other more attractive. For example, you tell him you love to watch basketball and then he says he loves basketball as well. This is him telling you, you have something in common. If he didn’t want to connect with you, he wouldn’t be sharing this information with you. Instead, he would just nod his head and say cool.

#14 He’s protective. I don’t mean this in a controlling and obsessive way, if you notice those signs then you shouldn’t be trying to figure out if he likes you. You should run away in the opposite direction.

By protective, I mean if someone treats you disrespectfully, he steps in or makes sure you get home safely. That is being protective in a completely healthy way. [Read: The damsel in distress – Why all good men find them irresistible]

#15 He shares his emotions with you. Men are emotional. I like to argue that they’re more emotional than women, they simply choose not to show it. If a man decides to share his feelings and emotions with you, this is usually a very big step for him. This means he trusts you and is most likely attracted to you. Sharing emotions is a crucial factor in connecting with someone. He let his guard down and wants you to see who he is.

#16 His eyes are all on you. You probably notice this when you quickly catch a glimpse of him. When you really like someone, you probably won’t be able to stop looking at them.

So, for him, he’s having a hard time keeping himself in check. He may look away quickly or he could even hold the eye contact with you after you catch him staring at you. [Read: Signs a man is in love: 17 gestures that are louder than words]

#17 He’s using his manners. When he’s around his friends, he farts, burps, talks bullshit. But when you’re around, he’s a little more low-key. He’s not burping, he’s holding those farts in and instead, he’s asking you if you’re hungry or cold.

Now, you shouldn’t expect him to pull your chair out for you or throw his jacket on a puddle so you can walk over it—this isn’t the 1950s. But you’ll notice his manners coming out more when he’s around you.

[Read: 18 signs to decode his body language and answer if he likes you]

Now that you know the signs, can you answer, is he attracted to me? Are you seeing a couple of these? If so, there’s a good chance he’s attracted to you.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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