But instead of just blaming the guy you’re dating, you can put society to blame too.
As a society, we’re still not open enough to accept the fact that a gay guy can be just as perfect a man as any other guy.
And at the same time, many gay men don’t even know they’re gay!
How to tell if a guy is gay
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not easy to pick a homosexual man from a group of men. Anyone could be gay, and you could never know it.
But instead of relying on how flashy they dress or how they stretch the words in a conversation, look for other cues and you’ll be able to see the obvious signs that most people overlook all the time.
15 signs to find out if your guy is gay
Have you ever had a nagging suspicion about your man’s sexual orientation? Use these signs to know your man better, and chances are, those subtle moves of his would become a lot more obvious in no time.
#1 He isn’t interested in sex with you. Now this is not reason enough, but it’s only the start of many more signs. Sometimes, a man could be in a happy marriage for several years and enjoy a great sex life before he realizes that he’s gay and likes men. Has your man lost his passion for sex even if you try new ways to keep sex exciting?
Is he a wonderful and understanding partner who likes spending time with you, but avoids kissing passionately or breaks away from the kiss within a few seconds? If he’s not interested in other women, there’s a good chance that he likes another guy.
#2 He stares at men. You catch him staring at men when he thinks you’re not looking. This would be particularly more obvious on a beach when there are a lot of men in their bare minimum, or while clubbing when he keeps sticking his butt back to graze other men.
But does your man have a few sexual fantasies that turn him on more than others? Does he like it when you talk about sexual scenarios where he’s sexually involved with other men? Experimentation may sound tempting and exciting, but if a gay fantasy is the only thing that turns him on a lot, you may have to ask him to tell you about his fascination for other men.
#4 He flirts with men. Girls may sweet talk each other. Guys don’t. They never ever do. Guys don’t compliment other guys. In fact, they don’t even try to be nice to each other. They use straight words and say what they mean, even if it comes out wrong. Only a man who’s sexually interested with another man would try to flirt with another man.
#5 He likes it in the ass. A guy who gets excited by homosexuality would definitely like something in the ass when he’s having sex. Does your man enjoy getting penetrated by your dildo more than he likes penetrating you?
Guys love penetrating. If a guy enjoys getting penetrated more than getting penetrated, he’s obviously going to like a real boner more than a plastic toy up his ass.
#6 A lot of his friends live in the closet. If a man has a lot of friends who are closet gays, there’s a good chance that he too may be one. We’ve all heard that line, birds of the same feather flock together, and that adage has almost always held true.
#7 He enjoys the attention of other men. Does your man enjoy watching other semi-clad men when he gets the chance? Or do you catch him “accidentally” flashing to a guy, be it on a vacation or somewhere else? Straight guys may like attention, but only if from the opposite sex. [Read: Flashing confessions of guys and girls]
#8 He watches a lot of gay porn. Straight guys watch gay porn now and then too. Curiosity is watching one or two gay action videos now and then. Sexual pleasure is when a guy watches more than ten gay porn movies in a row.
#9 Gifting time. He buys expensive gifts for a few of his guy friends. You may assume it’s because of the bond they share, but if he’s constantly buying little luxuries for a good looking cute male friend, chances are, your man is hitting on him. After all, homosexual men have to woo their lovers too.
#10 Secret conversations. Have you ever felt like you just missed something when your man’s hanging out with another man around you? Do you find your man indulging in suspicious non-verbal communication with his male friends, perhaps a lingering gaze, a touch that lasts way longer than necessary, or a man to man hug that just feels weird?
#11 He doesn’t talk about gays. Now there are two kind of gay men. Some men go to great lengths to talk about how normal it is to be gay. And other men get snappy and rude when you talk about homosexuality. It’s a reflex action thing. Intense emotions always bring out intense expressions.
#12 He crashes in a friend’s place often. It’s easier for a man to have an affair with another man than to have an affair with a woman. Nobody ever thinks it’s weird for two men to sleep in the same room. But does your man spend a lot of time with a particular friend? [Read: Real signs your man is cheating on you]
If your man likes hanging out with a friend several weekends in a year, and you can’t recollect this friend ever dating any girl, it’s definitely alright to get suspicious.
Some guys find it easier to use the excuse of fishing trips and hiking weekends to enjoy a good man to man weekend. And some other guys go out of town over work to hook up with guys they met online.
#13 He gets very touchy with another man. This is especially obvious when he’s drunk. When a heterosexual guy’s drunk, he may use this excuse to snuggle up with girls he has a crush on, not with guys. But if a guy’s not straight in his sexual orientation, his will to be subtle about his affection for another man who’s present with both of you may not be strong enough. And he may end up saying or doing something that gives his secret away.
#14 Walking in on him. When you just step into your place and walk in on your man and his friend, do they behave in a weird way like they’re trying to cover something up? They may be planning your secret birthday party. But if you constantly catch them in an awkward moment, it’s time to bring out the nanny cam.
#15 Trust your instincts. This is as simple and easy as it gets. Trust your instincts. Almost always, if you can think it, it has a good chance of being true. But even if you do think it, have a few valid reasons to justify what’s on your mind. Don’t jump to conclusions without proof or justification.
Signs your guy may not be gay
#1 He wears tight clothes and bold patterns. He’s probably just confident about his appearance.
#2 He grooms himself. Just because a guy’s aware of cosmetics and tweezers doesn’t mean he’s gay.
#3 He loves girlie things. He may just be fascinated by women.
#4 He doesn’t like sports. There are many guys who don’t give a damn about sports.
#5 He’s a neat freak. Being a perfectionist or one who likes everything in order doesn’t make him a homosexual man. He may just be more refined and neater than the average guy.
If you’ve been wondering about how to tell if a guy is gay, use these 15 signs and if you can strike off more than a handful of these signs, there’s a good chance that there’s something happy and gay in the air.
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Ethan Kent lives a semi-nomadic life traveling the world. And in between his pursuits of the elusive ah-ha moments, he loves exploring the minds of men and wome...