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20 Almost-Sure Signs Your Boyfriend is Gay!

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Want to know if the man you’re dating is a closet gay? Use these 20 subtle and yet obvious signs on how to tell if a guy is gay to get your answers. By Ethan Kent

Are you dating a guy who seems to be leaning off the straight path?

Ever wondered if he’s gay?

Sometimes, it takes more than several years for a woman to know if the man she’s dating is gay.

And at other times, it can be an easy breeze.

But why do gay men date women in the first place?

Really, if a man knows he’s gay, wouldn’t it be better for him to just accept it and avoid dating women in the first place?

[Read: 20 circumstances when a guy you like will never ever like you back]

It really is extremely selfish and frustrating.

But instead of just blaming the guy you’re dating, you can put society to blame too.

As a society, we’re still not open enough to accept the fact that a gay guy can be just as perfect a man as any other guy.

And at the same time, many gay men don’t even know they’re gay!

How to tell if a guy is gay

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not easy to pick a homosexual man from a group of men. Anyone could be gay, and you could never know it.

But instead of relying on how flashy they dress or how they stretch the words in a conversation, look for other cues and you’ll be able to see the obvious signs that most people overlook all the time.

15 signs to find out if your guy is gay

Have you ever had a nagging suspicion about your man’s sexual orientation? Use these signs to know your man better, and chances are, those subtle moves of his would become a lot more obvious in no time.

#1 He isn’t interested in sex with you. Now this is not reason enough, but it’s only the start of many more signs. Sometimes, a man could be in a happy marriage for several years and enjoy a great sex life before he realizes that he’s gay and likes men. Has your man lost his passion for sex even if you try new ways to keep sex exciting?

Is he a wonderful and understanding partner who likes spending time with you, but avoids kissing passionately or breaks away from the kiss within a few seconds? If he’s not interested in other women, there’s a good chance that he likes another guy.

#2 He stares at men. You catch him staring at men when he thinks you’re not looking. This would be particularly more obvious on a beach when there are a lot of men in their bare minimum, or while clubbing when he keeps sticking his butt back to graze other men.

#3 He talks dirty. All of us love talking dirty or thinking dirty in bed. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed with your man]

But does your man have a few sexual fantasies that turn him on more than others? Does he like it when you talk about sexual scenarios where he’s sexually involved with other men? Experimentation may sound tempting and exciting, but if a gay fantasy is the only thing that turns him on a lot, you may have to ask him to tell you about his fascination for other men.

#4 He flirts with men. Girls may sweet talk each other. Guys don’t. They never ever do.  Guys don’t compliment other guys. In fact, they don’t even try to be nice to each other. They use straight words and say what they mean, even if it comes out wrong. Only a man who’s sexually interested with another man would try to flirt with another man.

#5 He likes it in the ass. A guy who gets excited by homosexuality would definitely like something in the ass when he’s having sex. Does your man enjoy getting penetrated by your dildo more than he likes penetrating you?

Guys love penetrating. If a guy enjoys getting penetrated more than getting penetrated, he’s obviously going to like a real boner more than a plastic toy up his ass.

#6 A lot of his friends live in the closet. If a man has a lot of friends who are closet gays, there’s a good chance that he too may be one. We’ve all heard that line, birds of the same feather flock together, and that adage has almost always held true.

#7 He enjoys the attention of other men. Does your man enjoy watching other semi-clad men when he gets the chance? Or do you catch him “accidentally” flashing to a guy, be it on a vacation or somewhere else? Straight guys may like attention, but only if from the opposite sex. [Read: Flashing confessions of guys and girls]

#8 He watches a lot of gay porn. Straight guys watch gay porn now and then too. Curiosity is watching one or two gay action videos now and then. Sexual pleasure is when a guy watches more than ten gay porn movies in a row.

#9 Gifting time. He buys expensive gifts for a few of his guy friends. You may assume it’s because of the bond they share, but if he’s constantly buying little luxuries for a good looking cute male friend, chances are, your man is hitting on him. After all, homosexual men have to woo their lovers too.

#10 Secret conversations. Have you ever felt like you just missed something when your man’s hanging out with another man around you? Do you find your man indulging in suspicious non-verbal communication with his male friends, perhaps a lingering gaze, a touch that lasts way longer than necessary, or a man to man hug that just feels weird?

#11 He doesn’t talk about gays. Now there are two kind of gay men. Some men go to great lengths to talk about how normal it is to be gay. And other men get snappy and rude when you talk about homosexuality. It’s a reflex action thing. Intense emotions always bring out intense expressions.

#12 He crashes in a friend’s place often. It’s easier for a man to have an affair with another man than to have an affair with a woman. Nobody ever thinks it’s weird for two men to sleep in the same room. But does your man spend a lot of time with a particular friend? [Read: Real signs your man is cheating on you]

If your man likes hanging out with a friend several weekends in a year, and you can’t recollect this friend ever dating any girl, it’s definitely alright to get suspicious.

Some guys find it easier to use the excuse of fishing trips and hiking weekends to enjoy a good man to man weekend. And some other guys go out of town over work to hook up with guys they met online.

#13 He gets very touchy with another man. This is especially obvious when he’s drunk. When a heterosexual guy’s drunk, he may use this excuse to snuggle up with girls he has a crush on, not with guys. But if a guy’s not straight in his sexual orientation, his will to be subtle about his affection for another man who’s present with both of you may not be strong enough. And he may end up saying or doing something that gives his secret away.

#14 Walking in on him. When you just step into your place and walk in on your man and his friend, do they behave in a weird way like they’re trying to cover something up? They may be planning your secret birthday party. But if you constantly catch them in an awkward moment, it’s time to bring out the nanny cam.

#15 Trust your instincts. This is as simple and easy as it gets. Trust your instincts. Almost always, if you can think it, it has a good chance of being true. But even if you do think it, have a few valid reasons to justify what’s on your mind. Don’t jump to conclusions without proof or justification.

Signs your guy may not be gay

#1 He wears tight clothes and bold patterns. He’s probably just confident about his appearance.

#2 He grooms himself. Just because a guy’s aware of cosmetics and tweezers doesn’t mean he’s gay.

#3 He loves girlie things. He may just be fascinated by women.

#4 He doesn’t like sports. There are many guys who don’t give a damn about sports.

#5 He’s a neat freak. Being a perfectionist or one who likes everything in order doesn’t make him a homosexual man. He may just be more refined and neater than the average guy.

[Read: Why are most men afraid of homosexuals?]

If you’ve been wondering about how to tell if a guy is gay, use these 15 signs and if you can strike off more than a handful of these signs, there’s a good chance that there’s something happy and gay in the air.


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Have your say!
  • Austin
    March 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    NEVER confront a man about his sexuality. It’s hard enough coming out of the closet you your best friend, but to be outed by your girlfriend is devastating and scary. Just break up and please don’t ask if he’s gay.

  • samantha
    June 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    So I’ve been dating this Guy for almost 2 months and nothing about him struck me as gay. He works out and likes to look nice but not over the top. He has had a lot of sexual partners which were girls. He was texting his 2 best Guy friends the other day about them going boating and they were making jokes about having sex. Well at least I didn’t think they were jokes. “you’re gonna get a face full of my bodysuits tomorrow” ” there is going to be a lot of banging on that boat” but I know they are going with girls and some family. Of course I’ve been weirder than usual after reading these…

  • Russ
    June 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    Ah. If he watches gay porn and likes it in the butt, he might be gay. Mystery solved.

  • Alex
    July 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    No. I’m sorry but no. It is NOT NORMAL FOR A STRAIGHT MAN TO WATCH GAY PORN. Once in his lifetime in high school, yes. But any more than that? No no no no no no no no.

  • clint
    July 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Certain cultures have a lot of eye contact and people stand
    close and are emotional. These cultures also emphasize
    good grooming. Latinos are in this group. Gay? NOOOOOO!!!!!
    If he has a lot of chicks on FB and looks at chicks in a crowd
    It means exactly that. If you see him alone a lot he might be
    a loner. Respect boundries

  • JESSI
    August 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    If hes ever or likes he’s salad tossed or enjoys role playing yes theres a huge possibility he is gay. Ladies just bc a guy acts tuff and alpha male type doesnt make him straight.Most of these guys know how to hide it and secretly getting bjs or giving bjs or giving it or taking it from or to gay men. liking sports, dressing down in sport jerseys or being macho “gangsta”doesnt make him straight more like he knows well hes gay but is avoiding being detected.Unless a guy is truly out its difficult to tell but the only way of finding out forsure is to….

  • Mimi
    September 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    This is a reply to the very first comment, by Austin: You said that a girl should never confront her man over his sexuality, that the thought of being outed by a girlfriend is devestating and scary, and that a girl should just break up with him and not ask if he’s gay.. F*** that. I’m a 21 yr old female, not the slightest bit homophobic, your gay? that’s cool, dosent bother me what so ever, as long as im not having sex with you. I understand that coming out is a extremely emotinal and hard process for most, I get that, But what I DO have a problem with is gay men running around pretending to be straight by getting in sexual relationships with woman. I was with a guy for 3 years – we lived together and he was my first love. The reason why we are no longer is because he had accidently had left his email open, after years of being so secretive and careful, what I found was as gay as it gets. chats, arangments to meet and hook up with other men..the works. And i confronted him, and he was pissed, and denied being gay, which he clearly was..no doubt. But my point is…how the f*** does a girlfriend not have the right to know the truth? What he did to me, what some gay men do to woman, is selfish. they use women as a beard to cover up who they are. what about us? what about the women who invested there hearts, who were being played and used the whole time?! Not to mention the stress of not knowing wether your bf was practing safe sex or not with these men, putting us at risk for effing hiv. f*** that. I dont care if your gay, just dont tell me you love me and be with me for 3 years and forget to mention that you like dick, THEN get pissed when i found out about your secret life. and for all the gay men scared that there girlfriends will find out and out them, heres some advice, quit having sex with females, and be real with yourself. f*** with the wrong female and she might lana bobbit your ass.

  • Chris
    October 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    I get it Mimi. Honesty is key. But just because a guy wants to have sex or is attracted to other guys, doesn’t make him gay. And although I am totally with you on the anger and frustration with being used, your very dichotic and harsh judgement of male sexuality only fuels the problem. Some guys want to be with a woman but also might want to experiment and have experiences with guys too but a lot of straight women are only okay with men who sleep with other men if they are friends but want nothing to do with them sexually, almost like they are infected or something? I’m lucky I’m with a girl now who doesn’t care about my past experiences and my sexual fluidity. I’m only with her so it makes my scenario slightly different (what your boyfriend did was cheating and dishonest which is understandably fucked up) but less guys would be so closeted with their girlfriends if they knew they wouldn’t be so judgmental. Also, if a guy is sleeping with you–like dick hard and boning you–then he isn’t gay! If he got it up and was attracted, then he is more fluid or bi… NOT GAY… that’s so annoying.

  • Lara Laramie
    October 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m sorry this is an absolute load of rubbish.

    #5 He likes it in the ass. A guy who gets excited by homosexuality would definitely like something in the ass when he’s having sex. Does your man enjoy getting penetrated by your dildo more than he likes penetrating you?

    Guys love penetrating. If a guy enjoys getting penetrated more than getting penetrated, he’s obviously going to like a real boner more than a plastic toy up his ass.

    AND

    #11 He doesn’t talk about gays. Now there are two kind of gay men. Some men go to great lengths to talk about how normal it is to be gay. And other men get snappy and rude when you talk about homosexuality. It’s a reflex action thing. Intense emotions always bring out intense expressions.

    Honestly there are gay guys out there who only top because they don’t like be penetrated. You can’t generalize. Also, some guys don’t like talking about gays for a number of reasons, them being gay may not be one of them. This article is a ridiculous.

  • Johnzon
    October 23, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve been reading a lot how heterosexual men only like women period. This may be true in a lot of cases, BUT I know many heterosexual men that like other men but they do so to a point. If they know you are gay and open to having sex with them they will be curious. I wouldn’t classify these men as BI either. They aren’t about to get in a oozey LTR or anything with another man but they are bi-curious. I think this is rather normal for a straight man but they will NEVER admit it as such. The problem is these men will treat the submissive male as such and will dominate the ‘relationship’. As a gay male who is 100% homo I stay far clear from these men because, NO FEAR LADIES, they ALWAYS GO BACK to you but that could be just my experience. Human sexuality is SERIOUSLY complicating but a heterosexual male will always value women and their needs above all else.

  • Nekkocite
    November 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Could not agree more…with every topic except the up the butt thing! Dude anal sex is awesome…I a totally comfortable bisexual boy and I have quite a few straight freinds who have openly confessed how hot it is to get penetrated (and I’m only sceptical of this one kid who I caught giggling in a bathroom with my freinds hairdresser boyfriend)…maybe the like to be submissive or the just like the c*** maybe they are attracted to transgender women (which in my book still makes you straight, nits not whats between the legs that counts but everything else about the person…gay men like men of faggy little boy toys, lol). Never the less, great article…short, sweet, blunt and consumable. Kudos :) <3. And you do a good job of debunking the stereotypes that make girls think guys are gay…back in my straight days I hated being dubbed a fag because I was pretty, stylish, and flexible…I mean yeah I likes cute girlie boys but those selfish antagonistic brats didn't know that…good thing I'm 6'4 a hardcore/metal kid with good freinds who dosen't take shit! Lesson one to all LGBT com members and allies, stand up for yourself, get tough (even if you alittle sissy), get homies and fight back! Dale! Peace love and Pulse Nekkocite <3

  • John McGay
    November 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m sorry, I had to clarify this. Straight guys do NOT watch gay porn. Not occasionally, not rarely, NEVER. We do not entertain the idea of 2 men going at it, it’s not arousing. If it is, then you are a homosexual.

  • Marc Fuller
    November 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think we could all agree #8 was meant as a joke. I could barely stand watching “Willie Bum Bum” on YouTube. Straight guys aren’t going to watch queer porn. That being said, having something anally inserted seems like more of a fetish thing. Even a strapon dildo could simply represent something far less masculine, and more about dominance; typical (American) gender roles being what they are, taking in a phallic object from a woman is more likely related to some kind of sexual repression. What got me was #4. Guys don’t compliment guys? Nonono. Competitive bulls and guys that feel threatened by othet guys don’t compliment each other. Straight guys that want to maximize their odds of scoring will learn to compliment each other, both in and out if the company of women. We build each other’s confidence and let women know we are confident enough in ourselves that throwing out a compliment to another guy isn’t going to take anything away from his own package, so to say. “Hey man, sharp suit. You’re looking good.” “Thanks dude, yeah. Looks like the jogging’s paying off for you, huh?.” It’s mutually beneficial.

  • December 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think ,God is the one an only who knows about what is happening about his world because from our learning in lifescience or biologhy they have said that the sexual attraction of a person is determined by hormones, a person cannot control himself or herself. So i think even does who are doing it they get all the controll from their hormones no one like to be homesexually but it happens accidentally.

  • Lindy
    December 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    If a guy looks at another guy or even wants a dildo anywhere near their bottom parts in my book is GAY.. I believe it’s a choice, omg it has nothing to do with any hormones.. If my son came to me and said I like men I’m gay.. omg he’s out the door I want nothing to do with it, I would never speak to him again because it’s so wrong… it’s one man and one woman..period that’s it. He was not brought up to be that way again it’s a choice…

  • tshadow
    January 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    Heterosexual men are forced to limit their contact/interaction with other men for fear of being labeled. EVERYONE…. needs some human interaction and not every interaction pertains to sex. People are ignorant about homosexuality to the point of thinking that if you only give and not take then you are not gay; ludicrous bullshit! The definition of homosexuality is sex between those of the same gender. Everyone wants to change definitions midstream such as incorporating orientation into the definition of homosexuality when the term homosexual predates the modern notion of orientation. There is a reason I say modern notion of orientation, there is a biblical notion of orientation that encompasses more than sex. In the bible it is called that body of sin and refers to the corruption that we are born with due not to God putting it there but adam and eve putting it there by disobeying God. Yes God knows but he has also informed those who have studied the scriptures. This is what God speaks of when he says the effect of the law is to make sin more sinful and in another place it says that the body of sin used the dispensation of the law to come alive and condemn us. Though the law has that effect it’s intention was to inform us what was acceptable/intended by God so that we could inhibit the motions of sin in our flesh. It seems everyone wants to say well God could have done it a different way… Well he didn’t! He chose this way to inhibit sin and equip us with the means to live without it as best we can until he transmutes or transpositions us into incorruption. In christianity we are to live spiritually thereby leaving dead the body of sin in the flesh. When we are born we are born with the purpose to mature into Godly people. We are NOT born Godly people. At birth God is starting to make us in his image. Birth is not when he is finnished it is when he is starting. We will have the same spirit and the same mind but not the same flesh therefore we should not live as though the flesh is the most important thing. We are going to die and it is not this flesh that we will pick up again so why live as though you will?

  • shortys
    January 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    This article is so true. We have men that are afraid to admit they are attracted to other men. I was in a similar situation. I was married to a man for about 9 years with 4 children with him. His best guy friend bombarded our relationship from the start. At first i didn’t think nothing of it but then it had gotten worse with the going out every weekend and going fishing almost everyday. This is what they were doing before i came. Now my ex’s friend acted like he did not want him to become serious with no one else since he taught him how to play women. I married this man not knowing that he 1)he does what this man says i mean will literally run and jump when he calls 2) be with him every single day sometimes all day. This guy friend of his ended up breaking our marriage up and then he felt bad about it and tried to tell my ex some things WTF!!!!! How he gone demolish a marriage and then feel bad he did it? Front! And right to this day they are still friends and still going fishing. Since i told everyone they don’t want to be seen in public as much nomore so they lay at home and talk on the phone about other men and the women they are playing. I am glad i was not one of them although they have my computer hacked and watching my house trying to sabotage any relationship i may have. Another reason you can tell is when they talk about women really, really bad. My ex even told this guy about our sex life but when his friend wanted to screw me ( which i would have never did) They almost fell out but quickly made up. My ex did not want him to screw me ha!ha! sometime i wonder why. Anyway they are still friends,they talk on the phone but my ex will not call his kids everyday just to say Hi. His friend and I stay on the same side of town and my ex talks to him more than his own kids. Yeah i am receiving childsupport but that is a shame i wasted 9 years of my life with a in the closet queer. I don’t mind gay people everyone has their choice of how they want to live but please don’t live a lie. Because in the end every detail will come out!

  • Michelle
    January 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi Samantha I have had a similar situation with the guy I’m seeing found msgs from male friends that were talking of them wanking each other off etc he made out in was a joke .. Did u find out if the guy your with I’s gay?

  • Brad
    January 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    OMG Lindy, as anyone ever told you that a mothers love for their child is unconditional. what sort of a mother are you that would cut of their son if he said “he was gay” you don’t deserve children, he could certainly do without a homophobic person like you in his life if he was gay!

  • BNM
    January 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    Lindy Ur full of it it’s not a choice for me do I think it would be wrong to kick your own child out of Ur home u make me sick

  • Maddie
    February 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hello ive been in a relationship for 6 years with my man and we have a 4 year old, he has always like to have annal sex with me even tho i only do it once in a while but a couple of months ago we smoked weed together and i did some sexual activities i have never done before like suck his cock and pinger him in his ass, he was liking it then he ask me to lick his ass and i did, since then i feel like he just wants for me to please him and he dont do anything to please me, he wants me to lick his ass, balls and suck his cock, also he just wants to do me in the ass more than my virgina he said him self that it feels better in the ass, since then ive been a lil confuse and wondering if he might turn gay.

  • homo
    February 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    Are you all American? That is the only possible reason I could see for the utter ignorance about both sexuality, and proper grammer.

    This article is a joke.. and anyone who takes any of this to heart must be retarded…

  • Aoichi
    February 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    First and foremost, I need to state that there is no such thing as a gay-dar. There is no guaranteed way to find out if someone is straight or not. In fact, there are less truly straight people than we would like to admit. Nothing is black and white. Even the various labels of sexual orientation cannot fully encompass the entirety of the sexual spectrum (LGBTQ, ect), and the different levels of sexual motivations that occur with different people. As a result, it is very important to understand that perceived behavior, especially those that rub against social ‘sex and gender norms’ (‘sex’ relating to genitalia, and ‘gender’ relating to what an individual identifies as), can never prove sexual orientation, motivation, or otherwise.

    I must admit, however, that some of these tips can be good little red flags of a closet non-straight lover. I say, “non-straight” because if you’re not straight, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically gay; remember the grey area. However, there is too much that’s wrong here for me to not point them out. For most of the tips that I’m not going to talk about it is very important to remember not to read into anything too much. It’s all too easy to turn a simple hug or the tail end of a conversation into a reason for doubting your partner’s sexuality. This is especially important with tips 1, 2, 8, 9, 10, 12, and 14. The tips that I completely disagree with are 4, 5, 6, 7, and 11.

    Let’s start with 11; it is just too black and white. Not all gays, closeted or otherwise, take such drastic stands on homosexuality. I myself am bi. When I was in the closet, I was generally pretty moderate when pushed into the debate on homosexuality. I didn’t feel the need to force my opinion of acceptance onto everyone else, while I also didn’t feel comfortable letting ignorance go undeterred. Vehemence on either side is not a credible source of alert for homosexuality. There is such a thing as being stubborn or ignorant.

    As for number 6, firstly I want to ask, “how do you know if their friends are in the closet?” (This is a rhetorical question). Even if they have a lot of openly gay friends, that doesn’t automatically tip off orientation. Friends are friends so leave it alone.

    Number 4 is wrong when it states that, “guys don’t compliment other guys,” and 7 is just wrong. This society’s ‘gender roles’ are being exploited here. A guy can’t compliment another guy unless he’s not straight? Since when did this happen? And this stuff about, “straight guys [liking] attention, but only if from the opposite sex,” is crude and over generalized. Men vie for each other’s attention all the time. It’s ‘male bonding.’ At human behavior’s most basic roots, we know that loners are at an inherent disadvantage to those in groups. In relation to mating, having a group of male peers can better one’s chances for obtaining the interest of a possible partner because of association. As Marc Fuller has said, “competitive bulls and guys that feel threatened by othe[r] guys don’t compl[e]ment each other.” The rest of us help each other out.

    Finally, number 5, the worst of them all. Anal pleasure is in no way a litmus test for homosexuality. Plainly put, it feels good. It is well known that the male g-spot is the prostate which sits just in front of the rectum. Stimulation of the prostate can intensify the male orgasm greatly. So the next time you question why a straight man wants and likes anal sex realize that it’s because it feels fantastic.

    Also, I would like to address two things that I’ve gleamed from these posts that I find appalling. First, no one can ‘turn’ gay. No one can ‘turn’ anything. Whether you believe that sexual orientation is a choice or not, people are who they are. There are only points in people’s lives when they either realize, or don’t realize, who they are; with this knowledge, one only chooses to either accept their gender (identification), or to reject it.

    Second, sexual orientation does not change a person. If you truly love someone, especially your child, then it should not matter what their gender is. I personally think that it’s repulsive to disown a child and cast them away because of who they are, regardless of ‘how they were raised.’ This line from Lindy is what really makes me angry, “omg he’s out the door I want nothing to do with it, I would never speak to him again because it’s so wrong…” Bad grammar aside, your son is not an ‘it,’ and if you were referring to homosexuality itself, the belittling of your son’s situation is just not right. Also, it doesn’t matter what you feel about his, as you would put it, choice. Your son is still your son. It is your obligation as a parent to always be there for your kid. It is for fear of these types of reactions that make closeted people who realize that they cannot hide who they are anymore come to the conclusion that death (suicide) is better than living with the pain of being completely severed from the person(s) that gave them life. This is even more true when the parent-child relationship is close.

    In closing, I want to let you guys know that understanding is a major key to fulfilling a happy relationship, marriage, and life. Yes, cheating and leading on anyone for any reason is wrong, but we must understand the whys (society, persecution, family, friends, ect.). I’m not saying that cheating victims shouldn’t be upset (major understatement), but they shouldn’t be completely numb to the reasons behind it in this specific situation. Maybe if we were more understanding and compassionate, non-straight individuals would not feel the need to ‘hide’ in a heterosexual relationship in the first place.

  • jo gonzalez
    February 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow great topic! It is interesting to read the varying opinions, some accurate and some naive.

    It is a very difficult thing for most guys that are gay to accept. Usually because most gay guys really know it when they are going through puberty. So at that time a 14 year old boy has already been indoctrinated with hate speech and stereotypes about gays. To find out that he is one of the guys he has learned to mock and hate is devastating. So yes, boys are running around saying all types of things they don’t even really know because they don’t understand sexual situations yet. But when the hormones kick in then it all becomes clear for the gay ones and most of them immediately hide. They know they are not like the stereotypes they have learned but try explaining that to the football team.

    The only thing that does seem fair is that guys learn to be honest. It is very selfish but usually not intentional that a guy involve a woman in his lie to cover himself. He doesn’t want to be questioned so he has to have a female in his life. This man is giving power to other people’s opinions. He is going to have to find some courage to stand for himself and tell everyone in his life to like it or go to hell. This is a hard process and a reason why so many young guys commit suicide. Therapy is a great help that can heal men from the agony of hating and hiding themselves.

    You can’t involve a woman in your secret. That’s just not right. But there are different types of men that do this. Don’t lump them all in the same category. There are:
    - gay men who don’t want to be discovered and will act straight;
    - bi men that really love both genders but may not want to admit it
    - bi men that are ashamed that they like men and want to use a women for his cover
    So, with the true bisexual, you may have someone that genuinely cares about a female but knows she won’t accept his desire for other men. You have to learn what type of person you’re dealing with because they all should be dealt with in a different way. Accusing them all of deception is not fair. One may truly be emotionally crushed and commit suicide, one may just deny it, and the other may turn violent and hurt you. But your tone is most important. If you present the atmosphere that it’s not a big deal to open up and talk about it then you might have someone that is willing to do just that. But we as Americans have a tendency to attack people with accusations and judgment which causes people to withdraw.

    I also have known men to get married knowing full well they like other men. They do it because they are intimidated by their peers, bullied by friends and family and brainwashed by religious organizations making them think God hates them if they’re gay. In this modern world you have to be more easy with this subject. We don’t need people turning violent or committing suicide. But we also don’t need innocent people contracting diseases from someone’s lies.

    If you really feel the person you are dating might be bi or gay and they don’t want to talk about it then maybe you should approach it another way. Perhaps expressing your interest in a threesome to add some spark to your relationship might work. Usually guys love the idea of a 3 way with 2 women. But if you express your desire for a 3 way with 2 guys see what he says. Most straight guys will be totally disgusted at the thought.

  • craig
    March 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have to say that this is an interesting subject to discuss.
    Personally, when I look at men and women and feel that good feeling; to me, it is the same as when I see anything beautiful. I just love all aspects of humankind. Men and women, because they both have such awesome qualities and looks. I like who makes me feel that “good ” way, and if the feeling is mutual, its all cool!

  • sharon
    March 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years. He is a personal trainer and his clientele are only gays. He used to travel every month or every two months to LA, CALIFORNIA. Now he travels to Washington for a weekend to train one of his clients. Other nights during the week he goes to NYC to train, which he never goes during the day (only 8PM-11PM) In the begining of the relationship we were way more sexually active (which I understand it dies down after a little and you begin to not have it as much) However.. when we do have sex it is because I initiate it and put in 98% of the effort to turn him on, we do not make out or kiss pationately. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is good but I am doing all of the work. Not to mention we only have sex once or twice a week (which doesn’t make sense to me because he is 23 and most 23 yr olds do want sex) .. His reason being is that he “is never honry” … I always questioned it, even when we were more sexually active, but than I told myself I was crazy because he can not be gay!! He had slept with a lot of women before we dated, he was into football his up to graduating highschool!! Which I know is VERY judgemental of me but I couldn’t think he was gay after knowing that stuff!… till recenetly we got in his car and “gay and lesbian station” was on in his car.. He quickly changed the station and I waited a few seconds because I was a little caught off guard, than I couldn’t help but question why his car was on why it was on that station.. he responded saying he don’t know he must have just accidentally turned the knob to that channel. I know pleanty of people “hide” the fact that they are gay and i understand that because of the cruel terrible world we live in, but I just need to know the truth for MYSELF and for my well being. I don’t think it’s fair to me to be on the fence about something like this because if he is gay I will be very hurt that I am being used as a cover up for so long, of course I would not judge him or hate him for being gay, I would be upset that I wasted so many months on someone who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life! Please help

  • sharon
    March 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    ALSO, to add on to what I wrote prior, there are some of his clients that he randomly stops training.. and never talks to them again, than there are the guys he trains who will text him all hours of the night, buy him clothes, underwear, book $500 haircut appts in the city for “no reason”.. we have been dating for 2 years in June, and we do not have eachothers passwords for any social networks, our cell phones, emails, etc. And the reason to that being is because he claims he has private conversations with his clients about “money” … I think I am missing something and maybe I am being a little naive but I honestly feel he is a gay male escort and got so caught up and got away with it for so long that he will continue to do it because the money is easy and quick..

  • maya
    March 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    You said gay AND lesbian. He might have been listening to it for the lesbian actions. Guys get turned on by that? Maybe you should spice things up for him and make things different or more exciting. Like you said, he just isn’t horny anymore. Maybe he wants change.

  • seekerr
    April 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    Someone help me please! 1) My bf prefers anal and says he only wants to put it in my ass… 2)he likes it when I lick his ass hole and when I putt my tongue in it.also he sticks his out for me kinda like when girls do for guys. I tried to put my finger a couple times but sometimes he’ll stop me but sometimes he’llet me. Can someone tell me if this is normal for straight guy or is there something else I can do to tell if he’s gay. Thanks

  • Toki
    April 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    this is mostly satire right? Im bisexual and a man who knows that most girls dont like there bfs being interested in men , but al guys compliment each other.
    Lindy let me tell you my mum accepts who I am and I still havent come out because it is scary.
    you kick your son out? well im sure he doesnt need you , heck id run from you.

    and my sexuality was confusing I ran , id stare at girls butts but in the end I had little gay crushes
    thank you

  • cris
    May 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    I hope someone can advise me here. I found a membership card in my boyfriends wallet, it was for some kind of swinging sex club. I was shocked. I basically logged into this website using his details and he had a profile saying he was bi-curious.
    He is always turned on more by anal stimulation and i do it for him to keep him happy. Now Im worried he might be taking this further by going to a members club to meet men for sex.
    As his long term girlfriend Im really shocked and upset. His brother came out at Christmas and he was very ANTI-gay. He does not like to talk about and thinks its wrong. Is he a secret gay?

  • Evan
    May 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    People are stupid as heck when they say that being gay is a choice. Do you really think gay people choose to be???? Seriously how the heck would you feel if you were gay Miss Lindy bitch??? And shame on you for saying if you’re son came out as gay that he would be out the door! You are a disgrace. People who are gay are born that way its not a choice dumb ass. I cannot stand ignorant people that are so Anti-gay what the * is so hard to accept about it?? Love is love. Whether it be between a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman. Yes its wrong to hide your sexuality and date a woman while you are gay. But seriously bitch its not a choice. I wish you would have been born gay because i would love to see how the * you felt and if you changed your mind about how you feel. So that’s all i got to say to this Lindy.

  • daniel
    May 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    Lundy… so you say it’s wrong for two people to love one another? Well I have some advice for you… I am gay and your kids, if they were gay, don’t deserve the abuse of a homophobic parent like yourself.

  • biddy
    June 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    so i am a straight female and i have a friend who I am really starting to like. We’ve been friends for two years now, and we have a lot of chemistry. (like more than friends chemistry). Our families think we are dating but at first i didn’t think I would ever want to date him b/c he was really into girly things, all of his friends are females, and he always talked about a specific gay couple that we know and how “awkward” they are. ohh and he never talks about his own sex life or wanting to have sex with girls…or guys. one day someone (a gay man) accused him of being gay and he tried to prove that he wasnt by kissing me. its weird bc i like him and at times I think he likes me, but sometimes I think he might not like females. I don’t really want to tell him i like him if he is not interested in me in the first place. and i also don’t want to get involved with him if he is in this weird in between stage or thinks that I could be good use for his cover up. Any body have any advice for me?

  • Charm
    June 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    Sharon…. I’m sorry but your boyfriend is clearly gay. You already know this in your heart and mind but you don’t want to face that realization, the signs are there. don’t ignore your women’s intuituion.

  • Charm
    June 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    Cris…..it sounds like he is exactly what his profile said Bisexual. And it sounds as if you would rather not partake in the anal stimulatiuon, and that you only do it for him. Don’t ignore the signs hunny, and don’t waste your time. Your man is Bisexual aka Gay. It’s always hard to start over when you love someone, but I’d rather be alone than living a lie.

  • Charm
    June 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    biddy.. is the gay man someone that you guys knew? and also I had a male friend who had alot of female friends but guy friends as well….but if your friend has feminine tendencies like switches when he walks or moves his hands in a “girly” manner, he may be gay. But if a guy really likes you he will make it known.

  • Sha
    June 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m a heterosexual man but have been reading into what it means to be gay, as I feel homophobic at times (we fear what we do not know). Anyways, I have never looked at gay porn, I have found anal sex with women arousing, I do not notice men’s physiques as I am into bodybuilding, however I am not aroused by it, I just like to compare myself to others to see if that is a physique I would like to have myself. I don’t think the stereotype of gay men as always being effeminate is true as there are many men who are actually gay who enjoy the same activities as their heterosexual friends, like golfing, sports, going to bars etc. Homosexuality has been in our culture since the bane of our existence; it is no more than the a way of expressing love between two people. Some are attracted to the same sex, some the opposite, and many are in between and should be accepting of that, and realize that you don’t necessarily have to be flamboyant in doing so.

  • June 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ok I have been together with a guy who is 10 years younger than me for about 9 months. About 6 months ago he came over drunk and I wanted to have sex. He was being controlling and saying he didn’t want to but he would act like he wanted it. After a bit I was going down on him and my jaw popped cause I have TMJ and it turned him off. I said its not like you can feel that and it’s not like you have given a blow job. He said “actually I have”. I popped up and said what???!! He said ya. I asked him how many times and he said twice. I asked him if he liked it and he said no. I was so disgusted that I left the room and fell a sleep on the couch and he passed out. The next day he said” btw I was just kidding about what I said last night”. He said he would never be with another guy and that he has been hit on and he faught the guy cause he was pissed. I asked him why would he even say that and he said so I would leave him alone. In my head I was like wtf. A few weeks later he left his Facebook open and yes I looked around on it. He will not friend me on Facebook. Which I think is very weird. Anyways I saw a message conversation with him and another guy who is like 17 at the time. The first thing I read was ” babe is it normal if my raging boner is still hard from the last time I talked to you”. His friend replied with “I think it is cause I still have one”. There are so many comments about them missing each other and having withdraws. But never any comments about a personal sexual experience with them other than them saying “babe get the lotion ready and make sure to wrap it or just fist away”. The friend said” I wrap it twice” then my guy said that’s a beating on the dick. I could go on about comments about being chubbed for each other and how my guy gets upset when he talks to another certain guy. However they also talk about going out and bringing home girls to blow them. My guy has been in many other relationships with girls and this all happened when he had a hard break up with a girl. When I tried to ask him about him telling me he has given a blow job he gets so pissed. I have never told him what I have found. I have asked some of his close friends about what I think and they say no way he is gay and would never do that. It’s how this generation is and he just talks like that and that he would never be with a guy. So I said whatever. Then I went to some of my closest friends and showed them what I found. Every single one said he has deffinatly been with a guy and that nobody talks like that unless they are gay or bisexual. Months have gone by and nothing has been said between him and this other guy. His friend has a girlfriend and my guy loves me like no other. My problem is that I deep down think he did stuff with his friend and someone else. However that was almost 2 years ago. But I always have my guard up in case he does this again. He is always so scared I’m going to go out and hook up with someone else which I’m totally against cheating. I have zero intentions of being with anyone else. With his fear and what all I have seen I just don’t know what to think. He adores me and talks about marriage. Scary. I would just like to know an opinion of how I should feel and think cause I’m all confused. Please be straight up.

  • its simple
    June 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    Some of the signs are good, some are just baloney. To clear up what is gay… If you get sexually aroused by someone of the same sex, you are gay. Whether you live that lifestyle or not, you are gay. So if you’re just curious (and you get excited) yes you are gay. Yes BI is gay too. Not all the way gay, but still some gay, so it’s gay.

    So guys, if your cock gets stiff when you think about doing something sexual with a man, you’re gay. If it doesn’t excite you in the least, you’re not.

    The good thing is if you’re only curious but will never live that lifestyle, you’re still ‘gay’ but it’s just a fantasy, so you don’t have to come out of the closet or anything. Because you can fantasize about anything and never do it.

  • Ashley
    October 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    is anyone helped me and give me some advice please, I have a boyfriend we are almost 1 year already.we are not seeing each other offently coz he’s work is out of the country. one time I take vacation to visit him i’ll stay there for almost a couple of months,one thing I notice to him is he’s happy and excited to hang out all the time to his long besfriend male.i see them both always looking each other at the bar especially on the eye contact and everytime we go out he always thinking about his bestfriend on where he is now or what he’s doing.he always want he’s besfriend is sitting beside him. always wants his bestfriend is there to hangaround with us even in our date or going somewhere else like hiking and do some sports thing.he’s male bestfriend is living with him in one house I feel insecure coz sometimes he’s male bestfriend is the one who prepare his breakfast and coffe in the morning. is it my my boyfriend is a gay???? one time I caught them is having cigarette at the backyard all the time and they always closed the door and my boyfriend is not active sex with me only once a week sometimes one week no having sex and sometimes he can’t cam even I do my best in bed still can’t cam and his dick is easily turning down only one position he know.sometime he stop me doing sex bec. the bed is annoying him he doesn’t want he’s besfrient heard about on what we doing that night.one time he got sick when is besfriend is not there for almost one week coz of business trip then he got cured right away when he’s bestfriend is got home already during the time he has no time to call and text me and I heard he always hangout with his male bestfriend. I was confused now pls give me advised if my boyfriend is a gay or not

  • Devon
    October 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Stereotyping it a bad source of information,just because a guy
    likes a certain kind of music or watches certain kinds of tv shows
    Or dresses a certain way or even the way he talks doesnt mean
    That, that person is definitely gay. I being a gay man myself do
    Many of those things but it is not a proven fact for every man.
    And another possible way to tell if a man is gay is if he is picky
    About certain things especially the way that a room looks.

  • louise
    October 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Been with a guy for 3 years, we are engaged, and he has never been married, was with a woman 20 years but broke up, spent like 11 years alone and has a childhood friend that he is closer with than me… He watches a lot of tv shows about bikers, and muscular men, incessantly actually, and doesn’t seem interested in me at all, except when we have sex which has always been bizarre…. first of all at one point, I saw that his “anus” was very stretched out and he told me he had been abused as a child, so that sort of made me feel so so, but why is it still like that to this day? then one day, he was high and he said we are going to have sex and you’re going to shove the vibrator up my ass… my world fell apart, and I thought, He has to be gay or at least bisexual… also, he hardly EVER penetrates me, it’s oral sex on me and a handjob for him, and if he does penetrate me, it’s always from behind… tried for years to have anal sex with me, but I couldn’t do it, and really, I had no desire for this type of sex… he gave up after a while cause he couldn’t penetrate… now he has internet on his phone, and watches internet amateur porn all the time, and when he does watch lots of porn, he loses all interest in me. I have asked him if he’s gay or at least bisexual and he gets very very angry and has actually become physical at times… one time I opened his phone and there was a picture of a man’s penis with a hard on, no female in the shot… he tried to say it was with a woman, but I don’t buy it….
    When his best friend comes down, he’s so happy and excited and kills himself to please him, and never makes any efforts to please me in any way like he does him… he would choose him over me if he wanted to live with us I’m sure… they want to buy land together, build cottages next to each other in retirement years, at one point, he suggested we all live together…. I’m sure he is bisexual and it’s driving me crazy… when we have sex, his eyes are ALWAYS closed and he may have penetrated me in three years, 30 times….. he gets soft often when he is about to penetrate me.. please give me some advice… if he is, fine i’ll be hurt but I will leave and get a better life… he’s not emotionally there, he watches tv 24 hours a day, men mostly, and we never do anything together except when the “best friend” comes down, and he totally ignores me when he’s there… we usually always fight when he’s visiting….

  • The Truth
    November 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well what about us Straight Guys looking for a good woman to settle down with?, since it is very hard these days trying to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet not knowing if she is Gay.

  • Kolton Shephard
    December 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    Basically what I got from this web site is that if a guy is gay try and “Keep” him straight. I was quote. “Straight” but I said screw it! Girls no offense but if there’s a chance the guy is gay I am telling u to stop. They aren’t interested. And if it’s bad being gay then I’m bad. Simple.
    Im proud of the way I am. And no girl is going to change me. Personally if I was to get “married” there would be rules. No sex, kissing, hugging, looking at each other. No talking, no sitting by one another. There would be bed rooms
    At other ends of the house. Separate bed rooms, separate everything. Basically we’re “married
    On paper but i just dont care about you. I aint sorry. I am who I am.

  • Cody
    January 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I agree with an earlier poster that said that it is selfish for a man to be gay and involved in a sexual relationship with a woman. I have a young friend that broke up with a girl that he has dated for well over a year. I suspect that he is gay. When I heard that he and his girl friend broke up, I felt bad for him and wondered about what the cause might have been. It occurred to me that him being gay and involved with a woman sexually really was selfishness in the extreme. Plus, he is not doing the woman any favors as he is cheating on her and their whole relationship is likely a lie. In the end, he is lying to himself and everyone else.

  • silver7liner
    February 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am gay and not interested at girls at all. I really don’t feel like wanna have sex with a girl. If I pretended to be straight and married a woman, #1 is highly possible, at least for me. Perhaps I “f” only for an offspring. Since I know that going to be issue, I can definitely see something that I do not want to happen in the future. Choosing to be single secretly gay is better than hurting others beneath lies and fake happiness

  • femaleanalsexlover
    March 23, 2014 | Permalink |

    Okay I agree with everything else but I dont agree with the dildo part I love to put stuff up my butt. But I would never in my life have sex with a man and I never watched a gay porno in my life that shit is fucking disgusting don’t know of any straight guy watching gay porn. Never had a fantasize about men ughhh nasty gross even thinking about it. I love for my girl friend to put it in me and I love to do it back to her my favorite thing is too give myself a enema and clean out my butt completely and squirt water into her mouth. And I love when she does it back with her nice round ass omg nothing better then a girls ass. Maybe some straight guys like ass play because they are fascinated with the girls butt. Girls drive me insane I love my babe she is such a freak sometimes I’ll eat her out for 1 hour straight straight before I put it inside of her I like when her asshole gaps ;) just make sure you do it super clean you dont want to shit in your babes mouth Lmao. Or you dont want her stinky butt to get anything In your mouth I’m 7000,% straight for a girls pussy mouth and asshole I’ll lick that ass up any day fuck I love girls mor3 then money I’m young and full of so much fucking testosterone my babe can’t handle it sometimes.nothing Better then licking my girls butt and getting it wet. Some times I’ll have her piss in mu mouth and she lets me per in her round tight Latina ass. Fortunate to have a Latina freak

  • LAwoman
    May 22, 2014 | Permalink |

    A few years ago I dated a man for about 6 months. I had a feeling he was bi and asked. Of course he said no. I even told him I have no issue as long as he was honest. Without gritty details, he’s gay or bi.
    Now, I think I’m in the same place again. I’m going on 2 years with a man that has a ton of gay male aquaintses and some feminine attributes. We started with a great sex life and it’s fallen to once a week at my request. He mumbles & masturbates during the night when he’s sleeping (I think) and it freaks me out.
    He was flirting for some time with an openly gay man in front of me. I’ve caught him checking out guys and he claims it’s always women. He cleans his jacuzzi when I’m not there but doesn’t want to go in with me. He says he doesn’t use it either but it’s been very warm when I come over the next day.
    I found condoms hidden in his home office and we’ve never used protection.
    Also, I’m there 4-5 days a week but he doesn’t want to live together. He says he’s madly in love with me, but I feel like I’m there to keep him company instead of be his lover.
    Any thoughts would be great. He’s a baby boomer and that may make all the difference in the world. He was married for a few decades too and has children.
    I’ve also overheard him on the phone when he’s trying to be quiet and he’s said things like “I’ll see what I can do, we’ll figure it out, & I love you. If I ask who he was taking to he says he forgot or will then say it was one of his kids.
    One of my guy friends thinks it’s weird that we don’t live together and thinks it may be because he’s hiding something. Most of my other guy friends tell me to relax.
    I need some input. I don’t want to give good years to someone that is using me to look straight.

  • taj
    June 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m married and gay, my wife does not know this as of now but I’m trying to tell her that I don’t want to lose her she is my best friend. We’ve been married for 20 year and she means the world to me but we don’t have sex and when we do I think of men! I’am tired of hiding who I am, I would love to have her understand that its not her or anything of that sort, its me I have been gay all my life

  • A gay guy
    June 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    There are many sign he may be Gay, but isn’t panty borrowing lesbian motives aswell? Or being way too close to your BFF? It is all a double standard. Your best friend (who is female) maybe gay, only because she doesnt have a clean panty or if he is metro but plucks his eyebrows: he may or may not be gay. Women, please use your intuition and knowledge to ask whether he is or not, like we gay men do.

  • Jade
    June 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    My boyfriend who I loved for over a year abuses me and takes my money. He always is around his friends and constantly abuses me or makes me look stupid in front of them. It’s like he’s always in competition with me… He always stares at his friends and one friend he will stare at and they smile to eAchother like a secret communication. I pay for everything but he intimates sex and can easily get hard ( also can’t gay men get hard and have sex with women). He likes to put me down and especially in front of men. Despite all the horrible things he’s done like put a gun to my head and choke me out because I wouldn’t give him my money I do not have anything against gay ppl I love gay ppl and I tell him that if there’s anything going on just in general he can come to me. I tell him everything never lied never cheated. He has guys spend the night in our house. I pay for their food. He loves designer shoes and belts. He says he’s never cared about a “bitch”. He call me a bitch. He listens to music that says “fuck bitches I only love my niggas”… He gives my money to his friends n buys them stuff. He is so emotionless towards me and I’m overly emotional and l love him so much id do anything for him. We are both 20 years old. He’s addicted to cough syrup and Xanax and he always makes mean comments about gay guys. I see him checking guys out constantly but also some females. Even though a lot of ppl tell me I’m attractive he always says I’m basic the type of girls he likes are like perfect with perfect bodies. He likes making food for his friends and doing stuff for them. But won’t do anything for me I have to beg and end up doing it on my own. I feel like he takes me for granted and only loves his friends. His mother said I was the first girl he’s ever brought home and that she even had suspicions he was gay. Like I said I love gay ppl/ bi and I’d be willing to accept him for who he was… I just feel like he is a liar and he manipulates ppl and uses them to get ahead in life and that’s wrong. He likes to have unprotected sex he’s been with a few females and told me he had sex for the first time in 5th grade…. I’ve caught him rubbing his dick while watching men on TV and staring at men constantly. He finds it funny to degrade women. He has a lot of friends who seem gay but all dress like gangsters n try to be hard. He says he doesn’t cheat but he has given me an std before thankfully it went away… I feel like he has a lot of self hatred and I wish he would just let me know what’s going on I only want to help him not make him angry. He doesn’t care or show any type of attraction unless we’re going to have sex.. Maybe he’s bi? He has brought me around his mother and friends. He’s brought me to the guys house the one he had at our house and the guy looks upset everytime he sees me there. I believe he has a lot of closeted gay friends. I think he uses my money on then in exchange for sexual favors. He’s very hurtful and disrespectful. He’s rude to his mother esp in front of his friends. He puts me last and constantly makes more problems to the point where I pay and waste money constantly. He says I’m the first girl he’s ever loved and the first girl who made him “hard” I don’t know what that means… I’m so lost I need help. Is he just controlling and abusive or is he gay and secretly doesn’t care about me. He loves to wear caps and brands like true religion…

  • Jade
    June 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    also I feel like when we have sex his mind is somewhere else or he’s always ignoring me never talks to me about anything when I’m with him. He loves laughing and talking to his friends.. He will buy me stuff once in awhile. He never apologizes for hurting me and I feel like often he could be hurting me because the friends he’s around aren’t gay and he’s mad he can’t get that attention from them. He is very self centered and conceited. He looks better then all his friends and stares at them and claims he has such high standards but I his girlfriend is way better looking then his friends yet he thinks I’m whatever. I just don’t know what to make it anymore. He’s ruined my life and scarred me emotionally and physically… I’ve been with him a year and started noticing things were different after 4 months… He always had friends come stay at our house and I know he cheats because he never talks to females and females don’t text or call him . I know with guys it’s just sex and not emotional. It just seems fishy all the women he goes for have a lot of money and he just wants money will have sex with females just for money… He buys his friends drugs too expensive ones…. He always says he never cares or likes me when he mad but always says he loves me. I used to be so happy now in skinny and look like a zombie because he constantly puts me thru hell. Does he love me? The first time he told me he loved me was after he gave me a fat lip and black eye…. He always looks happy around his friends when he around me it looks like he can barely tolerate me. When I stare or smile at him he gives me like a mean look and his eye kind of twitches then he’ll force a smile. Mind you I’ve don’t nothing but love and support him so where is this anger coming from!? Is he jealous of me??? He always lets his friends disrespect me and he doesn’t protect or stand up for me. He could care less if someone disrespected me…

  • Jade
    June 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    I asked him once if he was gay cause I never seen him so happy and smiling around me like he does this one guy. That’s when he went psycho and destroyed our house. Tried to kill me too. One time I came home and they were sitting there like trying to cover something up. Like he just had his dick sucked. I just get this feeling but I need to know from someone who is gay because I don’t know that many gay guys and it’s so hard to tell he’s very masculine overly masculine and hard… He often stares at guys in a horny daze. It freaks me out cause I’m sitting right there. I feel like I’m just around as a beard or cover up being used for my money..

  • Cam
    August 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    I wanna know If my friend is bi or on the dl.
    I’m not out the closet yet.
    I have this friend of 18 years. Our families are close. We always have sleep overs and stuff, so one night we got really drunk. Out of the blue he told me I was really cute NO HOMO. Then he asked me what’s my deepest darkest secret and I told him I was gay. He said “it’s ok bro, you can get any guy or girl you want”. The next day I told him I liked him but he said I’m straight I’m straight.
    But he would do things like slap my ass. And he would enjoy when I flirt with him. Since I came out to him we got closer.
    We talk 24/7 and we have eachothers Instagram password.
    He do mess with girls but he’s weird.
    He knows I like him sooo much, but he gets mad when I question him. He only follows and accepts females on I.g. However he had 109 gay guy requests pending. I asked him why don’t you block or deny the requests and he got mad.
    Then I asked him how big his dick is and he said a 8 and a half. I also asked what his penis look like and he told me.
    We still sleep over eachothers house all the time.
    And he always make gay jokes about me, but when i do it, he goes off.
    Also he wanted to see a video of one of our mutual friends jerking off.
    I sent him a nude picture and pretended it was an accident, and all
    He said was “why you sent me this” .
    I’m waiting to see when is gonna say I’m crossing the line.
    I asked him don’t I make you uncomfortable. He said yes. I told him I will stop flirting and he said its ok cause I’m comfortable with my sexuality. He always asks me questions about my sex life and stuffs. I talk to him about jackd and he plays dumb like he don’t know what it is because I tell him every time. He must be suffering from memory loss lol.
    I told him suck my dick and he said ok. He has other gay friends but he keeps telling me they straight. He even worked the gay pride parade passing out condoms. He would tell me right cause he trusts me and I told him.
    He confuses the hell out of me.

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