If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you probably stare at the clock waiting for the ring. Here’s what you need to know about how to get engaged.
Everyone’s getting engaged right now. Being in my late twenties, it’s expected. Though, I have many friends that aren’t getting their dream proposal. And they wonder how to get engaged. In fact, they’ve been quite patient *they haven’t* and just waiting without saying a word *also a lie*.
But honestly, what else are they supposed to do? They’re with their partner because they love them and want to spend the rest of their life by their side. But when I look at them, in many cases, what they’re doing is working against them.
If you want to get engaged, you just can’t sit there waiting. I mean, you can, but it doesn’t mean it’ll happen any faster. So, it’s time to learn a couple things if you want to get that ring on your finger and leave the single ladies club. We’ll miss you! Great, now I have to see you on Facebook too.
#1 They have to feel ready. This is a huge issue because this whole time you probably thought it was about you. Yes, you have imperfections but that’s not it. Your partner has to feel that they’re ready to take the next step. You could be the love of their life, but if they don’t feel ready, they won’t propose to you. In this case, you can either wait or find someone else who is ready. [Read: 10 hints to get your boyfriend to propose]
#2 Don’t give an ultimatum. Listen, I know you watched a lot of romantic comedies but giving people ultimatums in real life usually doesn’t work well in their favor. You cannot make someone choose on the spot something that will change their whole life.
If they’re not ready, they’re not going to pick you in the ultimatum. Instead, if it’s coming to this point where you’re debating an ultimatum, sit down and have a serious chat with them. [Read: 15 sneaky ways to get your guy to commit]
#3 Have a conversation about the future. You’re here trying to figure out how to get engaged. But do you actually know what your partner wants in the future? That’s the thing, many of us only think about what we want rather than the person we stand beside.
#4 Leave the hints to a minimum. We all make hints when we want something. And if you want to see some progress when it comes to figuring out how to get engaged, there’s nothing wrong with dropping some hints to your partner. However, don’t come home with a stack of wedding magazines and sigh at every wedding photo you see on Facebook. Keep your hints subtle, keep them sparse.
#5 Give your partner space. When we like someone, we tend to suffocate them. Everyone is guilty of it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But, it also works in the opposite way by dragging out the engagement process. Why would this person ask to marry you if they already feel like they’re married to you? Give them some space. [Read: How to stop smothering your partner and learn to give space]
#6 Show them your independence. Many people are scared to commit because they feel like they’ll be tied to a ball and chain. Show your partner that you’re still independent. Don’t be afraid to go out on a Friday night with your friends. Your partner shouldn’t feel as though if they propose to you, you’ll be fully dependent on them.
#7 Leave your dream wedding out of conversations. Let’s not freak them out just yet. Wait at least until you have a ring on your finger. If you already have your scrapbook of wedding cakes, dresses, and flowers, don’t bring that out to show them. Asking someone to marry you is terrifying, shoving a book in their face about your dream wedding doesn’t make it any better. That’s added pressure that they don’t need.
#8 Focus on you. We often forget this when we’re in a relationship. Instead, we invest all our time into the other person and forget ourselves. So, we end up lost in some relationship that isn’t giving us exactly what we want. That’s not fair. Your partner needs to see that you appreciate and respect yourself, so, redirect some of the attention back onto you. [Read: How to focus on yourself and create your own sunshine]
#9 Hang out with married people. If everyone you hang out with is married, well, that’s a pretty good hint. Also, it’s a good way to show your partner that married people have fun, the only difference is that they’re married. Your partner needs to see that married life isn’t that different from the single days, if anything, it’s better.
#10 They can’t live without you. If they can’t live without you, well, then proposing to you is the best option to keeping you around, wouldn’t you say? Your partner needs to feel as though you need to be a part of their future, that they don’t see anyone else but you.
Give them space, let them chill with their friends, but also be there as a partner. You give them freedom and support, a combination that all people want.
#11 Let your partner know what you’re lacking in the relationship. They’re not mind readers. You need to have a conversation with them if you’re still not getting what you want. Maybe they’re not catching on to the hints, this could be very probable. So, if you feel that the clock ticks, then don’t waste any more time. Tell them what you need from this relationship and see if they’re able to give it to you.
#12 Find someone who wants to get married. If you’ve been with your partner for ten years and there’s no sign that they want to settle down with you, then find someone who wants the same things as you. Of course, this is a huge move, but, if you’re not getting what you want from the relationship, there will be someone else who will offer it to you. [Read: The 20 right reasons its time to walk away from a relationship]
#13 Don’t get stuck on cultural narratives. If you really want your partner to propose to you but nothing’s happening, why not propose to them? We’re so stuck in the cultural narrative that the man must propose to the woman, but, you’re also in charge of your future, right? Why should the woman wait for the man to make a move?
Getting engaged is a pretty big step, so, naturally, your partner is probably scared shitless. But, if they truly love you and want to be with you, they’ll make the move. And that is the secret for how to get engaged.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...