Figuring out how to emotionally connect with a man isn’t easy. But if you want to feel closer, here are 13 ways to build a deeper connection in no time.
Men are taught to be unemotional individuals who only find affection when they are made a sandwich or got a really good blowjob. Of course, they’ll enjoy those things but that’s not necessarily the way to connect with someone. Knowing how to emotionally connect with a man means going deeper than surface level.
Those are stereotypical ideas of how a man thinks, but people forget that men are emotional people, just like women. So, if you want a relationship with a man, not just casual sex or the once a month booty call, connect with him on a deeper level.
How to emotionally connect with a man
This can be tricky. When you want to connect with someone, we tend to force it on the other person. To ask them questions, making them answer them without letting them naturally answer in their own time. We want everything now, we want the connection, the butterflies in the stomach, the whole thing.
I know you want to connect with him quickly and I’m not saying not to, but you’re going to have to go easy on him or else you’ll scare him.
#1 Don’t make him open up to you. I know you want to deepen the connection, but listen if he wants to open up to you, he will. You need to make him feel safe so that he’s comfortable with telling you personal things about him. If you ask too many questions or bitch about how he’s not opening up to you, it won’t help. [Read: How to be the best girlfriend and leave your man addicted]
#2 Do have sex. Listen, sexual intimacy is a great way to connect with someone, you can use it as a way to become intimate with someone. People connect with each other through sex, both men and women want to be desired. So, the answer is yes, do have sex with him but don’t rely fully on sex or making out to bring you closer together. [Read: 13 weird and unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]
#3 You have to take a step forward. If you want him to open up to you, you’re going to have to open up to him. Of course, it’s scary but if you don’t open up to him, you’re not showing him your vulnerable side. And he’s not going to put his guard down. Basically, someone needs to be vulnerable first and since you want to emotionally connect with him, make the first move.
#4 Don’t judge him. If he opens up to you about something he does or something about his past, don’t judge him. By him telling you this, it’s showing you that he’s trying to open up to you. If you want him to be open with you, you’re going to have to accept what he’s telling you. If you’re judging him and being condescending, he’s not going to tell you anything anymore. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
#5 Don’t be a dick when you argue. I’m not trying to give us women a bad rap, but we do have a tendency to bring up things from the past when we fight, things that have nothing to do with the fight itself. Telling him that this is why his mother left him as a child or that his penis is small isn’t going to solve anything. What it does do is show him who you are, and that he can’t trust you with what he tells you.
#6 Connect mentally. Physical chemistry and connection are important but what really lasts is the mental connection. If you want a long-term relationship, you need to connect with each other’s minds. Talk about things that actually interest you, not things that you think he’ll like. If you do that, it’ll be boring. So… what I’m saying is don’t talk about the Kardashians. [Read: 34 easy ways to bond and build a closer relationship]
#7 Support him during hard times. I never forget the moments where my friends and partners were there for me. With men, it’s the same. You want to show them that you’re there for them when times get rough. How else can they open up to you if they don’t feel safe with you?
#8 Be respectful. You want mutual respect to occur between you and your partner. Respect is an emotional connection, so if they respect you, you’re already well on your way to a healthy relationship. If you want to know how to emotionally connect with a man, listen to his opinions, give him space, and don’t treat him like a child. [Read: 20 compliments that your man will love to hear]
#9 Praise him. You don’t have to treat him like a dog or shower him with compliments, that isn’t what it’s about. However, it’s always nice to show your affection for him. If you genuinely feel that he looks good today or that you like his hair, tell him. Don’t feel that you have to hide how you feel.
#10 Keep his secrets a secret. If he tells you something in confidence, keep that information to yourself. If you want to connect with him, make him feel that he can trust you with what he tells you. So, if he lets his guard down, respect that.
#11 Make him feel safe. This is absolutely crucial and I’ve mentioned it previously. You need to make him feel safe. If he’s not feeling safe around you then he won’t tell you anything personal. Thus, you won’t be able to emotionally connect with him. If he feels safe and protected around you, then your emotional bond will be strong.
#12 Ask him the right questions. Don’t treat it like a job interview and ask him thirty questions all at once. You can ask a variety of questions as well, from goofy ones to naughty ones. If you want to connect with him, get to know him and how he ticks. By showing interest it shows that you like him. [Read: 43 cues to spark smart conversation with anyone]
#13 Don’t give him your life story right away. I know you want to sit down and tell him everything about your life right now but don’t. It’s not bad if you do, but you want him to take an interest in getting to know you. So, let him want to get to know more about you by not laying everything on the table right away.