Does He Still Love Me? 25 Questions to Find the Truth
“Does he still love me?” If you are worried about his love for you, then ask yourself these 25 questions about his behavior to uncover the truth.
There is a stereotype perpetuated in our society that women are difficult creatures to understand, but the truth is that men are no easier. Just when you think you have them all figured out, they up and change everything, leaving you scratching your head. You thought everything was going fantastically, that your relationship was growing the way it should, and then something happened.
If you feel like everything changed, you don’t understand why, and you aren’t getting any answers from him, there are ways to tell if he is still in love with you.
Most of us know the difference between loving someone and being in love with them, but sometimes, as a relationship progresses, it is a hard line to distinguish. If he has suddenly stopped being affectionate, attentive, or loving, and you are worried that he has just fallen out of love, take heart: there are a vast number of reasons that guys alter their behavior toward the women they love, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you anymore. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]
Does he still love me? How to know for sure
To figure out if he still loves you, ask yourself these 25 questions. Your answers will likely spell things out.
#1 Is he stressed out at work? Often, a guy can’t separate his home life from his work life. If he is under a lot of stress at work, it may be spilling over into your together time. That can make even the most connected couple feel disconnected.
#2 Does he do little things for you? If you notice that the coffee maker is full of water, or that your windshield wiper fluid is full, that is a sign of love. Men may not be able to verbalize their love for you, so instead, they find ways to show you by doing things. [Check out: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
#3 Does he come home at night? Instead of staying out with friends, does he always come home to you at night? A man who is still in love will find a way to get home and lay next to the woman he wants to wake up to.
#4 Does he ask how your day is? If he is still interested in how your day went, or listens to you when you have had a bad one, then he is still in love with you.
#5 When he talks, does he use phrases like “we” or “our”? If you haven’t noticed a change in the way that he labels you as a couple, then it is likely he isn’t planning on going anywhere, because he still loves you. [Read: How to be a happy couple that’s envied by all]
#6 If he’s having a bad day, does he confide in you? If he is confiding in you when he has had a bad day, he still considers you an integral part of your partnership. A man is not interested in sharing his feelings with someone he doesn’t love.
#7 Does he still ask your opinion? Before making major purchases or decisions, does he first check with you to see what you think? When a man is in love and intends to spend his life with someone, he cares about what they think and respects their opinion.
#8 Is his mom acting differently? If his mom has suddenly stopped calling, or starts to avoid you, then there may be a problem. Typically, if a man is struggling with his relationship, he will turn to his mother for advice about what to do. If she has gone AWOL, then it may be because she doesn’t know what to say and doesn’t want to get in the middle of things. [Check out: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]
#9 Do you find him being dishonest? If you suddenly notice that he isn’t being honest with you about what he is doing, or what he has been up to, then you should proceed with caution. If a man falls out of love, he will find ways to avoid going home and being with the person in his life by making up excuses or just being dishonest.
#10 Does he take care of his health? No matter what his age, if a guy isn’t taking care of himself, then his health may be affecting his behavior. Men are the last creatures to seek medical advice, which can leave them grouchy and in pain from back issues, stomach difficulties, or just general malaise. Take a good look at his habits and the way that he feels physically before you take the blame for his altered behavior toward you.
#11 How long have you been together? There comes a time in a relationship when things start to change. You go from excitement to the daily grind. If you have been together for a while, it may just be that you need to put some spice back into your relationship. He may just be taking you for granted. [Try: Are you being taken for granted? 16 discreet signs to know for sure]
#12 How are you acting toward him? If you are reaching out to him and he isn’t receptive at all, it is a different story than if you are standoffish, thinking something is up. It may be that you see your own actions mirrored back at you. Often, we are so concerned with the way that others are behaving, we fail to see how our behaviors are bringing about a certain reaction.
#13 Do you still have sex? If you have gone months without sex, then there is likely a problem. What happens in the bedroom is usually an indication of what is going on in the relationship. It isn’t a failsafe way to find out if he is still in love with you, but it is a good hint about how he feels and where your relationship is emotionally.
#14 Has he made a new group of friends? If a guy is considering leaving his mate, he will find a group of friends that are different from his old. Sometimes, he does this to give him more courage to make the break, while sometimes it is the friendships that are pushing him to want something more. [Try: 9 unspoken relationship rules couples need to follow]
#15 Is he hiding his cell phone? His cell phone used to be on the nightstand every night, but now you can’t seem to find it. That is not a good sign. When a guy is secretive about his phone, he doesn’t want you to accidentally see something that pops up, or for you to go through it. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is cheating, but he may be discussing plans that don’t have anything to do with you.
#16 Does he say “I love you”? After a while in a relationship, you forget to say the things that mean so much. If it has been a while since he last said “I love you,” it doesn’t always mean that he doesn’t. If you say it to him, and you don’t get a response, try again. If he doesn’t say it back a second time, it may be time to start making solitary plans.
#17 Do you catch him hanging around? When a guy is in love with a woman, he finds ways to be around her. You may not even notice him enter a room, and then suddenly there he is, just hanging out. If you see that he is still there, trying to be silently near you, then chances are good that he still loves you. [Check out: 18 surefire signs your boyfriend really loves you]
#18 When was the last time you saw him smile? A smile says a lot about what is going on in a man’s mind. If you see him smile at other people, but you never see that smile directed at you, then there is a problem in the relationship. Does it mean that he doesn’t love you? Not necessarily. It may just mean that you have to work some stuff out and communicate better about what is going on.
#19 Does he still remember the important things? Many guys forget about dates like anniversaries or birthdays. If, however, you had a tradition that was all your own and suddenly he no longer wants to uphold it, or pretends that it doesn’t exist at all, it may signal problems in the way that he feels about you. When a man changes things that he wants to share with you intimately, it may signal a problem.
#20 Does he touch you? Guys will find a way to touch the women that they love. Even if you aren’t having sex, there are other ways that a man will show affection towards the mate he loves. If you notice that he is still leaning in to kiss you at the end of the day, or before he leaves for work, his love for you is probably still strong. [Try: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]
#21 How are your finances? Times are tight, and the stress of not having enough weighs very heavily on guys. If he is unable to provide for you the way that he wants, it may be showing in confusing ways. Being distracted, irritable, or sullen may be more about frustration and worry than your relationship. When times are tough, guys have a tough time showing love.
#22 Have you gone through major life changes in the past year? Some people respond better to change than others. If you had a major life event, like the loss of a parent, a significant move, or illness in the family, he might be working through some emotional issues he has related to other things besides you. Everyone grieves in their own time. It may just be a prolonged reaction to something that you have worked through and moved on from, that he is staying stuck in.
#23 Is there something that is making him resentful? Sometimes, love can be clouded by resentful feelings. If there has been a situation in your past in which he has had to give something up that he really cared about, then he may be resentful of you. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but that he is still working through feelings resulting from a previous event. He will come around… it may just take time. [Check out: 10 obvious hints guys give when they want more space]
#24 What does he say when you question him? When you ask him what the matter is, does he tell you, but you just don’t want to hear it? If we are feeling depressed about ourselves, often we will transfer our own insecurities and feelings onto the people we love. If he is telling you that everything is okay, and he loves you, then sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and believe in your partner.
#25 How do you feel about yourself? There are times in our lives when we feel low about ourselves and question the decisions that we make. In those decisions are the people we have chosen as mates. If you are feeling depressed about yourself, or worried about your future, you may be questioning his love for you when you should be questioning why he wouldn’t love you.
[Wondering where to go from here? Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
If you know you are worthy of love, and you are with the man you have committed to, then you probably wouldn’t feel the need to search for answers—they would be right in front of your eyes. Sometimes, you just have to open them up and look around for the answers you seek. If most of your responses to the questions above are yes, he likely still adores you.