There’s nothing worse than dating a great guy who has a flirty girl best friend. Ever been there? You see her pawing your man, and you really can’t do a thing about it. Here’s what you need to do.
You’ve burned and ranted to yourself each time you come in contact with a certain pretty gal friend of his.
There you are, just sitting beside your boyfriend, downing a cup of latte, filled to the brim with love.
And then it happens.
You hear a high pitched ‘Hiii!’ and one second later, you’re forced to slide aside as this good girl pal of his joins the both of you, and plonks herself next to your man.
Now really, next to your man?! WTF!
There’s so much space on the other side of the table, and yet, she needs to stick to him!
Grr… that’s all you can hear within yourself. This gets really frustrating.
Who the hell is this girl to intrude into your private romantic time?
And to make things worse, she gives your man a bone crushing hug and makes sure her breasts spread all over his chest like peanut butter on toast!
And then she gives him a peck on the cheek that is so dangerously close to his lips.
Putting up with your boyfriend’s girl best friend
I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw sparks erupt off your hair strands. She then holds his free hand (the one you’re not yet holding) and starts stroking it, and coos into his ear and giggles madly about something you can’t really hear. Now, isn’t cooing your job? And doesn’t this girl have something better to do? And why does she have to keep kissing his cheeks and hug him all the time, especially when you’re around!
Well, it is sad, miserable and just utterly annoying. But what can you do about it? Unfortunately, nothing!
Why? Because she’s his best friend and they’ve known each other way before you even got into the picture.
Like that’s a valid reason, right?! But still, that’s what your man says, and that’s what you’re forced to believe. But you obviously can’t stop hating this girl who torments your thoughts and your secure relationship in such a subtle and yet blatant manner.
Do you hate your boyfriend’s girl best friend?
Now, if you’re really pondering over this question, that’s just way too silly. Of course, you hate her.
Why? Because she turns your man’s antennas on each time she comes by. And your man feels awkward and blushes when she playfully strokes his cheeks or squeezes his butt cheeks. [Read: Flirting by touching]
And you’ve always wanted to be the only one who could make him blush with happy embarrassment. And is there another reason? Definitely. She’s known him way longer than you’ve known him and she behaves like she knows more secrets about him, and she always pops those annoying questions like “Hey, did he tell you about the thing he did in fifth grade?”
Of course, he didn’t tell you, because he forgot all about it. But she remembers it, and you look like a fool while she recounts to you about his secret escapade during his school years.
You don’t really care whether he peed in his pants when he was seven years old, that doesn’t bother you one bit. It’s the fact that she knows more about your man than you do, and she can’t stop bragging about it that messes with your mind. You obviously want her dropped off the planet, because you feel so helpless each time she comes around. [Read: Getting over insecurity in a relationship]
Does your boyfriend’s BFF hate you?
She… hates you? No way! She adores you. She’s happy for you, and she’s happy for him.
But what she knows for a fact is that he is her best friend. And another fact she knows well is that you get jealous when you see her with your boyfriend. That’s the bit that creates a problem. You see, she loves to make you jealous. She loves the way your man drools and laughs when she’s around. And she loves watching your red face each time she kisses his cheek. She speaks highly of you and describes you as the perfect girl for him, and talks a lot of good things about your man to you, which only makes you feel miserable. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]
And each time you act grumpy with this girl or snub her, your man gets all over you and tells you to behave well with this best friend of his. She may be a nice person, but she would always want his attention, and even more so, whenever you’re around. And it doesn’t end with meetings.
At times, her call may interrupt both of you in the middle of a steamy love making hour, and she may actually realize what you guys are up to. She may even ask details, which is so gross and frustrating, because it just shows how easy it is for her to talk dirty with him. It’s annoying to see her behave like his nanny, asking him about his body or his man parts while she coos with her sultry voice. Now, that is so-not-nanny material!
So what’s the bottom line? Well, she wants you to clearly know that she’s got a better hold on your guy than you do. And she wants you to accept that bottom line with no conditions.
Your man’s reaction to your behavior
“Hey now, sweetheart, why are you behaving this way? I’m telling you, she’s just a very good friend!”
Well, how many times have you heard this line? How many clumps of your own hair have you pulled over this line? And how many suspicions and thoughts have come across your mind each time he said this line?
Unfortunately, his answer won’t change one bit. Nor is his behavior around her going to change either. He really believes that she’s just a friend. But here comes the tricky part. Whether he’s told you or not, he may have been intimate with her or they would have hoped to be intimate with each other at some point of time before you came into his life. It may have been a little crush or a bit of one sided love, but no girl best friend gets flirty unless there’s a bit of sexual chemistry in the air.
This is the reason why she’s so comfortable around him sexually or otherwise. And another biggest reason behind why it’s all fine with your man is because he likes the attention. [Read: How to get a guy to like you]
He likes holding hands with her, and he likes getting her attention and he likes talking sleazy with her. And of course, he loves it when she hugs him until her bosom spreads all over him! Why? It’s because he’s technically not cheating on you or being unfaithful to you, as you know all about it anyways. But at the same time, he gets to get intimate with another woman. Now, that’s every man’s dream! [Read: Is it love or lust?]
So who’s happy and who’s sad?
I know it hurts, and it does hurt a lot. A part of you just wants to break up, but another part convinces you that you’re just being over-possessive or jealous. But deep inside you know that you’re right and he’s wrong. Even if he does have a girl best friend, it gives either of them no right to get flirty or touchy feely when you’re around, or even when you aren’t around. [Read: Is he serious about you?]
So how does this leave you feeling? Pathetic, deprived and miserable!
How does it affect him? Well, he feels great and loves the attention!
How does it leave her? She’s ecstatic!
She’s able to draw his attention away from you, right under your nose, and you can’t do a thing about it. And she thanks him for his unrealized part of her ploy by planting a wet kiss on his cheek. Sometimes, life can be a bitch, and as always, days when you bump into her with your guy can be a big bitch with a load of puppies!
So she’s happy, your man’s happy. What about you? You’re really sad and confused. Now why do you really have to put up with this shit?
[Read: Is he the one for you?]
What should you do now?
Getting used to the fact that your boyfriend has a girl best friend is hard enough.
But having to deal with your man’s flirty friend is just annoyingly frustrating, especially if your boyfriend doesn’t really do anything to stop his friend from pawing him.
If you’re having a hard time getting the message through your man’s thick skull, here are a few tried and tested ways to handle your man’s flirty friend and keep her away.
Are you waiting for the flirty friend to leave?
You may have just sat there, waiting for the bad tidings to pass, and the sun to take a nice peek out of the gloomy clouds, and evaporate this monster of a friend away from his life.
But you know it, the way things are shaping up, you don’t ever think it will happen. So what do you do? Well, you should go to war!
Ready your battle stations and prepare your ammos and weapons. Locate the weakest section and drop your entire stock of nukes and breach the barrier! You don’t dig, girlie? No worries.
What I mean is that you need to fight a war to win it, and to win it, you need to strategize and have a plan of action. You want to know your greatest strength? It’s the fact that he’s your man and not her man! So why on earth do you have to bob quietly like a rubber duck and be bothered by this friend of his?
Since you know for sure that there’s no way a straight talk with your man will help you, try going the other way around. The first step is to make your man feel really awkward around her. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it already, but the only issue is that he likes the sexual awkwardness. But just give him an opportunity to realize how uncomfortable things can get when she comes around and you can bring the ball into your court. Now really, go all out and go to war.
Adding your man to her crush list
The next time she kisses him like a woodpecker or does something just as uncomfortable, use it to your advantage. After this slutty friend of his leaves the both of you alone and goes away, take a trip to the ladies room, especially after a few other girls go in. Come back with a sad face, and tell him that you overheard the girls in the ladies room talking about your man being such a perverted two timer, who didn’t care about your feelings. [Read: How to make a man fall in love with you]
Just tell him that you feels awkward when other girls speak like this all the time. Basically, instead of straight out ranting, prick his little heart with guilt.
Let him know that all your friends think that he has a big crush on that girl pal of his, because of the way he tries making out with that girl all the time! He may object and try to retaliate, but just lay off it by saying it’s alright, and that you’re not hurt anyway. And trust me, he will try doing something about it because all men always want all women in the world to think highly of them. So if your friends and other women around think he’s annoying, he’ll do whatever it takes to make them think highly of him.
Sneak a bit of info to him and tell him that you’re sure his friend has a crush on him. And how do you know that? Obviously, you’re a girl and you know it by the way she behaves around him.
Mention it as a compliment, but make him feel uncomfortable by asking things like how he would feel if your best male friend would try fondling you all the time? But hit your man with the fact that this friend of his has more than just ‘friendship’ written over her when it comes to him. [Read: More than friends? – The signs]
Beating the bitch
Don’t you just wish you could clobber her and hurt her really bad? You can, but it’s better done where it hurts. Your man is just that, he’s your man. So the next time she comes around, just snuggle up to him closer and compliment him about a few things he did recently, things only you know about.
That would definitely piss her off. [Read: Does your boyfriend have a flirty best friend to know why]
And if she squirms beside him even before you can wrap your arms around him, let them be. Just smile at them, and excuse yourself to make a call. He’ll get the hint. He still doesn’t get it? Then, stay put, and call up a good looking guy friend of yours whom he particularly doesn’t appreciate and feels insecure about, and have an enjoyable conversation! [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you]
Trust me, it’s worth it to see that look on his face after you’re done talking with another hottie. Or you could also get real friendly and touchy-feely with another male friend of yours when you bump in to him. If he does mention anything like you trying to get back at him, just innocently tell him that he seemed to be having such a good time with her, that you really didn’t think he’d be bothered.
These moves are guaranteed to have a positive effect for you, especially if you instantly lose your icy self each time his slutty friend goes away.
He may have a hard time figuring it out with his pea sized brain, but eventually he’d realize that your icy split personality shows up only when he behaves like he’s in a petting zoo around that little bitch friend of his.
Another really important thing you should know here, never ever let him know that you’re doing all this to get back at him even if things get better for you later. He may just tell his ‘best’ friend all about it. And I don’t think you’d be able take his friendly confessions very well.
Winning the game
She may be grinning widely and floating on a high each time she gets to know through your boyfriend that you’ve thrown a tantrum over her. But once she sees that her friendly guy is actually making a strong effort to stay away from her (which is mostly because he gets jealous when you speak to another hottie or pet your male pals), she would go mad!
There she was, having your man wrapped around her finger all this time, and now she would know she’s losing her grip on him.
What can I say, I guess it’s time for you to gloat in happiness. Be extra-friendly to her, and grin a giddily happy smile each time he’s wrapped in your arms instead of hers. Never ever show your frustrations out in front of her. That would just make her happy. Instead, use her ploy on another guy, in person or on phone, when your man and his flirty friend are together. There’s no chance of losing a game when you get the jealousy in your man aroused!
Each time she holds your guy’s hand, just pat it away and tell her jokingly, “hey, do you have a crush on him?” or smile and say something like “I hope you don’t hate me, you seem to have such a big crush on my man”, and laugh out loud!
She wouldn’t know what to say, especially when you make it sound like a joke. Your man may find it funny, but she’d know what you’re up to. Let her know that you know her game, and let her hate you because you’re winning. Getting her to hate you may be hard, but once you do, boy, the world can seem oh-so-nice!
You could be on a winning streak, but make sure you’ve still got a firm hold on your man, or he may just stray again. She is his friend, you know. [Quiz: Does your boyfriend really love you?]
It’s not so easy to just split them up, but as long as you can get him to behave, who cares. And as long as her little heart is burning with frustration, the world is such a pretty place, isn’t it?
But then again, if you’re having a hard time dealing with his girl best friend, perhaps, you should consider seeing someone else or try having a happy relationship with a guy who isn’t attached at the hip to his girl best friend.
[Read: Signs of an annoying boyfriend]
[Read: Is he really the one for you?]
But even if your man does have a girl best friend, you do know what to do right? Get back at her and do it well. After all, dealing with your man’s flirty friend can be so much fun when you’re winning!
