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How to Tell if He’s Serious about You

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Is he serious about you or does he have a fling thing in mind? Find out how to tell if he’s serious about you and your relationship with these tips.

how to tell if he's serious about you

Do you think you’re seeing the perfect man with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?

Is he thinking along the same lines?

He may pamper you with gifts and little nothings, but does he really love you enough to look at you as a long term girlfriend or potential partner for life?

Sometimes it’s not the proclamations of love or the dozen red roses that says “I love you”.

How to tell if he’s serious about you

Body language is the secret, powerful method of communication through which we communicate more than half of what we actually mean.

So is your man truly in love with you, or is it just for the moment?

If you’re in a new relationship and can’t understand if he’s really into you, watch out for these oh-so-subtle ways that can help you find out if he’s serious about you.

[Read: 9 tips to have a perfect new relationship]

Does your man really love you enough to look at you as a long-term partner potential. Find out here.

#1 While watching TV

Understandably, you can’t tear your eyes away from McSteamy on your favorite show, but notice all of your man’s subtle body cues while you’re watching the telly.

Is his arm around you in a protective gesture? That means he wants to take care of you. He clasps your hand while interlacing fingers, it shows that he wants to have an intimate connection. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

#2 While you’re with his friends

If his arm is around your shoulders, he’s signaling to his friends and other males around that you belong to him in a gesture that brings out the caveman in him. If it’s around your waist, he is telling them that you are a keeper.

#3 When you’re at his place

Guys are natural slobs with a few exceptions. Only in movies do bachelor pads have perfectly coordinated furniture and scented candles. In reality, the main attraction at a bachelor pad is the beer can pyramid. So if he makes an effort to clear up the mess in his room, then he’s decided you’re worth the once-a-year spring cleaning he gives his room.

He might stop doing this after a while which only shows he’s comfortable enough with you to be himself.

The ultimate sign that he has white picket fences in mind is if he lets you leave your random girlie objects around the house, and no, toothbrush doesn’t count. That is mostly regarded as an essential part of oral hygiene. But if he’s okay with your pink yoga mat in the living room or your mirror cushions on the bed, pat yourself on the back, you’re in! [Read: Sweet romanic gestures you could use everyday]

#4 When you’re at dinner

Your filet mignon may be delicious but keep your eyes peeled to check cues that your guy is in it for the long haul. As Joey from ‘Friends’ may tell you, guys don’t like sharing food. What’s on their plate is theirs, so don’t you dare even try and flick a fry.

But if your man is willing to share his plate with you or offers you a bite, he is opening up his personal space to you and wants to be intimate. Alternately, if he starts moving his plates and glasses around, he’s trying to reduce the space between you both and wants to get closer.

#5 When it’s just you and him

In the early stages of love, neither partner can keep their hands off the other. But whatever the stage, if he likes to hold you with his arms around you, hands resting on your belly, then he’s subconsciously decided that you are the mother of his children.

Another show of love when you’re together is how he falls asleep. Once he’s in a deep slumber, he instinctively either moves toward you or moves away, claiming his space at his end of the bed. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out. Also, if he reaches for you the minute he gets up, it literally means you’re the first thing on his mind when he wakes up! [Read: Things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

Want to know a few more signs on how to tell if he’s serious about you. Click here to continue reading the next five tips in is he serious about the relationship?


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  • Emily
    April 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    okay so this kinda helps but I’m still at a cross road with my relationship >.<

    this is the signs my guy shows that I dont understand if its him showing me hes starting to fall in love with me or if he is in love, or if hes just like that GRAW so confusing I hate not being able to read people.

    (1) sometimes when he's looking at me he'll say this like "damn" or "F**k" or "wow"

    (2) he's chinese and i sometimes can't eat their food so he made sure to take me shopping and buy what ever i would eat

    (3) when we first started going out he bought me a cell phone which he pays for as well I didn't have any real clothes at the time because my stuff was stuck at my Ex's and I couldn't get it back so he bought me clothes

    (4) he's getting a house and he asks me which one i like what i want and he doesn't exspect me to pay for anything (crazy in its self)

    (5) he talks about getting me a better car and putting me on his insurance cuz its cheeper

    (6) We've talked about kids name and how white Asian Babies are perfect

    (7) my brothers wedding is coming up in june in mexico and i cant afford to go, this is what he said "I'm sorry If I wasn't looking for a new house I would pay for it, but I'll make it up too you and in Augs-Sept I'll take you where ever you want"

    (8) He trys to teach me things like how to drive properly (because I'm a "very scary driver") he trys to teach me Cantonese so I can say things to his parents who dont speak good english, as well as other things

    now these are the signs that show me that its possible but at the same time I dont know if hes just a really nice guy lol

    these are the things he does to make me think he doesn't like me very much

    (1) he sometimes says I act like a princess and its cute sometimes but not in public

    (2) he doesn't always cuddle me at night or put his arms around me and sometimes he does

    (3) he doesn't call me all day or text me all the time or anything like that

    (4) I haven't really met his friends/ he doesn't want to meet my family "yet"

    (5) Now the big thing is I'm 20 and he's 30 (no i do not CARE age is a number but sometimes effects things)

    GAH what am i supposed to think? I'm not going to say I love you first because I'm not going to get Hurt i REFUSE too say it even if i mean it i want him to say it first. Also just throwing it out there I'm a Cancer and he's a leo not that that makes a difference.

  • Jane
    August 1, 2012 | Permalink |

    Emily, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t think he’s serious. When a guy is serious he wants to introduce you to his friends and family. Your guy sounds very financially generous, but so far, he’s compartmentalizing you. He doesn’t want to bring you into every facet of his life because he doesn’t see a real future with you. This could change and your relationship could evolve, but please be careful!

  • Confused
    August 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    He tells me that he’s happy when I’m with him, but he doesn’t know if we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for four years now as friends. At home, he treats me like his girlfriend (he gives me kisses and we have sex). We hang out everyday or go on a trip together but he never hold my hands. By the way, he’s 24 and I’m 29. After four years, he still doesn’t if he should call me his girlfriend. Should I stay with him? He really makes me happy and I really love him. What should I do?

  • Rebecca
    August 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    So I met this guy and I’ve known him since June and now its august.. I’m so confused all the time… like when I’m out with him… he will cuddle me or when were on the couch he will put his hand on my stomach.. and he will play with my feet… were seeing each other but we haven’t really asked each other out yet, he will always find something to show me just so he can talk to me or he will always find a way to touch me in an affectionate way.. but its like he doesn’t want to be in a relationship cause he hasn’t asked me out yet???? please help

  • Amanda
    September 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    Emily,
    ive been in your situation. The issues are: men do not show affection in the same ways women do. if he doesnt cuddle you or hold ur hand it may bc he is showing u affection in other ways, such as acts of service and quality time. not all men are affectionate and us women cant take it to heart. Another reason he may not want to meet ur family just yet is bc even though u dont care about the age difference he may fear ur parents will. thats a serious step to take that can make or break a relationship. all the thinkgs he does may be to protect u and the relationship. his actions prove the cares about u and takes u seriously. no man would go to the extent he does like put u on his insurance if he wasnt serious. and keep in mind, he will never know u love him if u dont tell him. a man is less likely to express it first bc their first instinct is fight or flight. He loves u, but love grows. he could be falling more in love with you everyday. even if ur scared i would say it first, hes not going anywhere

  • catherine
    February 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m in a relationship with a man that has a girlfriend an two. Kids I constantly ask is he married an he says no. He want marry what for if. He is not ready. I love him an he now says he loves me. An he keeps saying we will over come. Lost an confused I love him an maybe pregnant.

  • sarah
    April 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    Ive been with my boryfriend two years known him 4. When i first got with him he tried to have sex with mefast now we have a baby. I am confused bc at times he has threatened to leave and leaves then comes back i dont understand it. Also everytime i have a friend he thinks they are a whore and gets mad if i want to hang out with them( they arent even whores either!) He is 37 i am almost 21. He also doesnt like the fact that i want to drink or smoke. I dont do all the time either. He said he doesnt want to live that lifestyle again.

  • Harmony
    August 23, 2014 | Permalink |

    Men tend to “show” their love. Words can be just that, words. So see what a man does.. If he wants to be with you and doesn’t want to take the chance of losing you, he would be there for you. No matter what the excuse for not being there, if he loves you, wants you in his future, and respects you, he will find a way… Otherwise , life is short and there is a man that will love you the way you should be loved. Be open for that one :)

  • Allyson
    September 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    Well… I met a man on a dating site 2 months ago… He’s 67… I’m 56… We’ve only met twice so far… Once at a diner… The other at my apartment… There was no sex or anything… Just a light kiss on the lips… He was touchy feely… But always a gentleman… Rubbing my shoulder or my leg while we sat watching tv… He even followed me all around the kitchen while I was making drinks… Even touching my foot with his while we sat on my love-seat… The bad part is that he went to cape cod with a woman he’d once had sex with… He claims he’s know her for years and they are now just friends… Sharing the same motel room with separate beds… I feel a bit hurt as I felt he should have stayed here and got to know me during his time off from work… Before he drove to cape cod, he asked if I would like to fly there (he would pay) and be with him… I said no maybe another time… I actually didn’t want to go because I don’t know him or his friends at all… And if anything went wrong between us I would be stuck there… I am awaiting disability and struggling financially right now… I don’t have a sofa in my apartment and he said that “we” need to get one… Then in a low voice and said, “and I will help you with your problems”… But I’m confused by this other woman… He claims he told her he met me… She was she wished she could meet someone too… I even asked him if I did fly to cape cod, I would not feel comfortable with her there… He said if I did come there, she wouldn’t be there… They are in separate beds in the same motel room… I like him… I I feel he likes me too… He calls or texts me everyday… Even when he’s at work…

    What do you make from all this?… I need your advice…

    Thank you…

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