You thought you were going to relive The Notebook. Well, maybe not. This is real life, it’s time you learned how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend.
If you’re fresh onto the “we broke up” scene, you should know that I’m a pro. I mean, I own the “we just broke up” scene. So, if you’re thinking that you won’t be able to live without that person, you should know that life goes on. It’s not easy to understand how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend when your mind is swirling in the memories of your relationship.
Will it hurt for the first little while? Of course… it’s going to feel like you were hit by a bus.
You probably don’t look too happy reading that right now, but I’m telling you the truth. It’s going to hurt. And that’s okay.
How to get over a breakup with your boyfriend
Breakups are never easy, however, knowing what to do can help ease the pain. What you need to do is know the steps and how to go through this phase without making it worse. Because trust me, there are some things you can do that will screw you up even more. Here are some tips for how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend.
#1 Accept it. Listen, I’m not saying you two won’t get back together, but at this moment, you’re not. So, if you want to know how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend, start by accepting that you’ve broken up. I know you still love that person, I get it.
But thinking that you’re going to get back together will not help you process this breakup. What if you actually don’t get back together? You know how much time you would spend reserving yourself for them? Waiting for them? Don’t wait. [Read: How to get over a boyfriend you just can’t forget]
#2 Acknowledge it’s going to take time. It’s going to take time. My last breakup took me a year to get over. I wasn’t crying the whole year, but they were always on my mind. But eventually, you slowly stop thinking about them. You don’t even notice until you run into someone and they ask you about your ex. As you move on, they’re not sitting in your head anymore.
#3 Cry. This is great therapy. I don’t care if someone told you crying is for pussies. They obviously have some issues. Crying is a great form of release. If you feel like crying, just do it. Do it until you can’t cry anymore.
You’re grieving the loss of your partner, so it’s normal to be upset and emotional. So grab the ice cream, get into bed, watch whatever sappy chick flick movie you want, and do that until you don’t want to do it anymore. [Read: Ready for some tears? 20 movies that’ll make you cry]
#4 Be selfish. Listen, if you want to sit at home crying, do it. If you want to talk about your ex, do it. Have you ever had a friend that broke up with their partner? It’s a nightmare – it’s all they talk about. And if you think you’re going to be different, you’re not. You’re going to analyze the shit out of it, trust me. So, just accept that it’s going to be all about you for a couple months.
#5 Do not keep your feelings inside. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not keep your emotions locked up inside you. You’ll eventually have a mental and emotional breakdown. You’re going to snap, and it’ll probably be during an event or situation where it’s not appropriate. So, however you wish you release your emotions, just do it. [Read: How to be emotionally stable and find your zone of perfect calmness]
#6 Do not contact him. Please. Don’t do this for me, do it for you. Don’t write him. Don’t call him. Don’t e-mail. Don’t like anything on their Instagram. Don’t. Do. It. You need to move on, and if you continue to contact him, you’re going to look nuts, and you also may even walk away with a restraining order. You need to move on without him in your life. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]
#7 No social media. You can have social media, however, you shouldn’t have him on your social media. It’s going to be one of the hardest things you can do, but you need to delete him off of social media. Facebook, Instagram – whatever, just delete him. Block him if you find yourself creeping constantly.
#8 Use your friends. Well, what’s the point of having friends if they can’t be with you during a breakup? This is their time to step up and be a friend. You’re in pain, you’re hurting – they need to support you and help you through this.
#9 Take your time. You don’t have to get over someone in two days. In fact, if you did, that would be highly unusual. So, take your time. There’s no “right” amount of time to get over someone. You shared feelings and memories with that person, so it’s going to take a while to get over. However much time you need, use it.
#10 Don’t rush into dating. People usually think the best thing to do is to jump back into the dating scene. This isn’t bad, but you need time to process your breakup rather than jumping into a new relationship. Going into a new relationship will not help you get over your breakup, it’s just going to blanket it. Which means, eventually, all those feelings you were masking will be uncovered. [Read: What is a rebound relationship? 12 signs to know if you’re in one]
#11 You can or cannot have a one-night stand. Again, some people think having casual sex will help you move on. You can try it, and it may help you on a physical level, however, emotionally it won’t help. But, there’s nothing wrong with trying and seeing if it works for you. So, I’m not saying don’t do it, but only do it if it feels right. [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready for one]
#12 Do activities you want to do. You have extra time now, probably a lot of extra time, so use it. Do things that you’ve always wanted to try – take that dance class or try painting… whatever you want. Focus on yourself and things that make you happy if you want to know how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend in the easiest and safest way possible.
#13 Say no to their friendship. They’re going to suggest that you stay friends. No. Listen, you guys are not friends. Maybe in a couple years you’ll be able to be friends, but as of now, there is no friendship. Say no to friendship… that’s not what you need now. [Read: How to turn down an ex who wants to be friends]
#14 Don’t drink your sadness. Alcohol is an easy way to suppress the feelings, but it’s only a short-term fix. You finishing a bottle of wine every night before bed isn’t going to help you get over that person. So, stay away from bad habits like alcohol and drugs. It’s easy to get caught up in it, but it’s not one of my tips for how to get over a breakup.
#15 Don’t try to get them back. If they realize they made a mistake, they’ll contact you. Other than that, don’t go showing up to their work or their favorite restaurant. You scheming to get them back may work, but it won’t work for the long term, and you’ll end up at square one again. No schemes!
#16 Write your feelings down. This is a great way to get everything out that you wanted to say. Write them a letter, but don’t actually send it. Please, don’t send it. But by writing your feelings down, you’ll be able to say everything you want to without having to watch what you say or hold anything back.
#17 Try not to analyze. This is easier said than done, but you want to try to not overthink and go through every detail of your relationship. Listen, you made mistakes, they made mistakes, it’s normal. But, you analyzing everything in the relationship will not get you two back together. So, stop analyzing, and stop blaming yourself.
Knowing how to get over a breakup with your boyfriend is no easy task. I had to go through a lot of them in order to figure out the best way to do it. It’s going to be hard, but you can and will move on.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...