When it comes to guys with commitment issues, they’re not so easy to make yours. Here’s how to get him to commit to you even if he’s reluctant.
It’s not really new information that guys have more commitment problems than girls. Sure, women can have them too but the majority of the time, guys aren’t as willing to commit. This can be an issue if you find a guy you really like and want to make yours. Luckily, we know how to get him to commit.
And we’ll definitely share those tips with you. It’s hard to find someone you want to be with who is super hesitant about putting a label on it. You get scared, insecure, and even worried they’ll just ditch you. We can remedy all of that for you.
Understanding their commitment issue is only part of the solution
People aren’t just commitment phobes for no reason. There’s something in their life that’s prevented them from being able to secure a relationship with someone. They get freaked out, feel suffocated, and eventually run away from someone even if they really, really like them.
Commitment problems can come from a wide range of places. Perhaps they had a relationship that was horrible and their ex cheated on them. This would obviously make them hesitant to commit to someone else. They may also have parent issues that explain their commitment issues. First, you need to figure out why they are that way so you can tailor your behavior to make them want to commit. [Read: 13 signs he wants a relationship but has commitment issues]
How to get him to commit without causing a riff
One thing guys tend to stress about the most when it comes to commitment is being forced into it. They don’t like that pressure. Therefore, you need a few sneaky ways to get him to commit and we’ve definitely got you covered.
#1 Be fun and easy going. Guys are much less complicated than women, that much is for certain. They like things to be easy going and relaxed. Which means they don’t really want to commit to someone who’s going to add stress to their life. So be easy going and keep things light and fun. He’ll be much more willing to commit. [Read: 10 ways to prove that you’re girlfriend material]
#2 Wait a while to DTR. If you try making a guy your boyfriend after a few dates, he’ll more than likely run for the hills. If you really want to know how to get him to commit, be patient. When the time is right, he’ll preposition the idea of becoming an official couple. Just don’t let him get away with waiting too long.
#3 Get to know him fully. You really need to spend a lot of time getting to know details about his life and childhood. These can not only help you decide if you truly like him, it’ll also give you insight as to why he has commitment issues to begin with. [Read: How to get a guy to open up and talk more]
#4 Ask about their previous relationships. Obviously, you can’t do this after the first date. That’s a big no-no. However, once you’re more comfortable around each other, discuss your previous relationships.
You’ll be able to learn a lot about why he isn’t fond of commitment and it can even show you if this is a deeper issue than you think. Be open and honest and you’ll get the same in return.
#5 Be cool with his friends. If a guy’s friends like you, it’ll be so much easier to get him to commit. When they’re asking about you and wanting you to hang out with them, he’ll see the value in that. So be cool with them, talk to them, and make them see how great you really are. [Read: How to get his friends to accept you as one of their own]
#6 Reward him for boyfriend-like behavior. When he does something that shows his commitment to you, reward him for it. Something like going out of his way to make plans with you or inviting you to events is definitely behavior you need to reward. When he sees that you like that kind of thing, he’ll want to do it more and soon enough, he’ll have committed to you for real.
#7 Withdraw if they seem too hesitant. Not much will make a guy commit faster than the fear of losing you if they don’t. However, you can’t give them an ultimatum. Just simply stop talking as much if he starts showing you he’s not ready to commit. This might scare him into realizing how much you really mean to him. [Read: 15 ways to get a man to chase you and fall hard]
#8 Set your standards early on. Let him know from the get-go that you’re not looking for something casual. Make it known that you want something real and that you really like him. So long as you’re not making it seem like you want to marry him right away, he’ll always have commitment on his mind.
#9 Give them plenty of space and freedom. One reason guys don’t want to commit is because they often feel like it’ll trap them. They want their freedom and space so if they don’t even become official with someone, they’ll keep it. That’s how they think, anyways. Show him that you’re more than happy to give him that space and he’ll be more willing to commit. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they need more space]
#10 Maintain your own life. Don’t drop your whole life for him. If he notices you becoming too involved with him, it’ll be a red flag. Have your own hobbies and your own life. If he sees that you have a life independent from his, he won’t feel like commitment is a trap.
#11 Integrate yourself into their life. This makes the commitment feel so much more natural to him. If you’re already naturally a part of his life, he’ll find it easy to commit to you. You may not even have to do anything else.
#13 Introduce him as your friend. Nothing will make a guy feel less like they’re yours than if you introduce him as a friend. If he really likes you, he’ll even get a little heated about it. This will make him want to be introduced as more than this and he might even suggest you two become official.
#14 Show him what a healthy commitment looks like. You don’t need to be “official” with a guy in order to treat him like your boyfriend. If he sees what a great partner you are, he’ll want to have you in his life all the time. Therefore, you need to show him what a real commitment looks like.
Without even realizing it, he’ll see how great being in a committed relationship is. It’s even better if you talk about it but you need to be careful. Instead of saying things like, “anything for my boyfriend.” Say something along the lines of, “I’ll do anything for someone I care so much about.” It’s less scary and proves to him that you really do care. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
#15 Make it his idea to commit. Overall, when it comes to knowing how to get him to commit, you need to make it his idea. Sure, you’re pushing him into thinking about it but it needs to come from him. Guys with commitment issues won’t be forced into it. They need to do it all on their own.