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How to Be a Lady: 23 Classy Women Traits that Awe Everyone Else

What separates a classy woman from the crass? If you want to be respected and awed by everyone, use this guide on how to be a lady, a really classy one!

how to be a lady and a classy woman

A classy lady takes the air out of the room when she walks in and makes all other women feel less like a woman. Want to know how to be a lady who can demand respect and appreciation just by her mere presence? You’ll know everything it takes, over the next few minutes.

A lady is the epitome of womanhood. She’s grand and gorgeous, grabs attention without secret glances, and demands respect without words. She’s the kind of woman other women want to be and other men want to be with.

A lady knows just what to do in any circumstance. She the cynosure of a room, and everybody wants to be her or be with her. All said and done, she’s aware and strong, and yet, even when she is in a relationship, she doesn’t make her man or anyone around her feel less than, when they’re around her.

Want to be that lady? We’ll get right to it!

The classy traits of a real lady

Most people assume a lady has to dress like she’s walked out of the Victorian era, and behave like she’s a conceited, arrogant princess who loves frowning at other women and looking down at men. That’s not a lady, that’s just an entitled brat.

In reality, a lady is nothing like that. A lady is someone who makes everyone around her feel loved and respected no matter where she is. She blends in when she has to, and stands out gracefully when the need arises. But beyond all that, when she is in a relationship, a lady is someone who makes her man swell with pride and want her more every day.

[Read: How to get rid of that sense of entitlement that’s ruining you]

How to be a lady and the classiest woman around

If you want to know how to be a lady, don’t fret over the behavior of others or fuss over the arrangement of spoons at a dinner party. Just learn to carry yourself gracefully, and talk to people like you would to a dear friend in a quiet corner in the room.

Don’t get it?

Well, just use these steps and let them guide you through the passage of transformation from a woman to a real lady. In all probability, you’ll feel more like a lady by the time you’re done reading this guide!

1. Poise – Be elegant and graceful

Learn to carry yourself with elegance when you have company no matter where you are, be it at home or out with friends. Be very aware of your body, don’t clumsily crash on tables while walking or plonk yourself on the couch like you’ve had too much to drink. A real lady is always graceful and feminine. [Read: The quickest, little details that’ll make you way more graceful and elegant in no time]

2. Make your man feel like a real man

This is something you need to remember if you’re in a relationship. Men love feeling like the protectors in the relationship. They don’t care who has control of the relationship, or who holds the reins, as long as they “feel” like they’re not emasculated by their woman. If feeling needed makes you man more like a man, let your man take the place of the protector while you play your part as a lady. [Read: Why do men feel emasculated by the woman in their life and how to prevent it]

Give your man attention and make him feel special. And remember to ask for his assistance even if you’re fully capable of doing it yourself. As long as it’s a chore that feels manly, he’ll help you out with a big grin on his face. 

And the more you make your man feel needed and wanted, the more he’ll love you and want to be with you. Remember, you’re not being subservient or dumbing yourself down by making your man feel good about himself. You’re only making him feel appreciated, which is something a man needs, to feel loved. [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress so much]

3. Be pleasant to the ears

No one likes a loudmouth, be it a guy or a girl. If you want to be a lady, learn to control your decibel level. Speak softly and avoid shrieking unless you’re excited by something *ladies still look cute when they shriek excitedly, never let that feminine spark dim!*.

Smile a lot and always try to involve the people around you into a pleasant conversation. A lady doesn’t brag about herself and her communication skills, she makes everyone else do that involuntarily for her!

4. Be empathetic

Empathy is a powerful trait to have, and it’s something every classy lady should practice. If you can’t empathize with someone, can you really understand them or even have a real conversation with them? A lady knows how to see the world through the eyes of others. If you’re too stuck up and opinionated, and think you’re a know it all, and that you’re right and everyone else is wrong, that makes you a spoiled princess, not a lady. 

You probably know some women who dress nicely and are polite. However, they don’t come across as genuine or empathetic. A classy lady is someone who, though confident in themselves, puts herself in other people’s shoes and understands what they go through. A classy woman is someone who actually cares about what another person has to say. [Read: How to tell if someone doesn’t have empathy and what you need to do about it]

5. She knows to express herself

A lady knows how to communicate, and she does it well. Your intonation definitely matters, but what also matters is the way you effortlessly weave phrases and idioms into your conversation. Everyone loves a good conversationalist, and a lady definitely knows how to do it right.

It’s not hard to be a confident conversationalist. If you can listen to someone without being distracted by your own thoughts, chances are, you’ll know exactly what to reply to the other person. If you can make someone feel heard, like you truly understood them, you’ve done everything you need to do, to be a wonderful conversationalist. [Read: How to talk to anyone and master the art of a real conversationalist]

6. Bad language and rude gestures

This is a compete no-no. There are so many ways to express yourself without the use of vulgar language or gestures. Of course, on a rare occasion or with your closest friends, it’s completely acceptable to use a cuss word or two. But consciously put in an effort to avoid using bad language, especially when you’re in the company of many people.

 7. Flirting comes naturally to ladies

A lady is charismatic, so flirting feels effortless. So go ahead and flirt with men if you must and if you enjoy it, but never indulge in it when your man is around you. And even if you’re sweet talking with another guy when your man steps in, wrap your hands around your own man to let everyone else know that you’re already taken.

The only men who feel insecure are the ones who feel like their girlfriend or wife is a potential cheater, or is ashamed to date them. If you make your man feel confident about your relationship by introducing him to any other man you meet without a worry in the world, your man won’t have any worries about the relationship either. [Read: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all]

8. Don’t wash your laundry in public

A lady never makes an ugly scene in public unless she has no choice. If you have minor differences with your man or if you’re upset with him about something, don’t bring that conversation up when you’re in the company of others. It’ll only make your relationship seem fragile, and at times, it may even emasculate your man. 

Remember this, a lady stands up for her man in public, even if she questions him in private. [Read: How to be a happy couple that’s envied by other couples]

9. Be aware of the world around you

A lady is always aware of the world around her. She’s not just a pretty doll who knows how to dress and look good. This may take a while to master, but spend a good thirty minutes catching up on current events everyday. Don’t be the dumb, pretty lass who needs her man around to add two numbers or tell her about some crisis in the world because she’s too dimwitted to understand what’s going on herself.

A real lady is smart, even shrewd when need be, and she’s always ready to give advice to her man or anyone else who needs her advice. [Read: How much should a girl dumb it down to impress a guy?]

10. Be a gracious host and a charming guest

A lady is a people person, but not a people pleaser. So if you want to be a people person, you need to learn to speak to people warmly when you’re a guest. And when you’re a host, you need to make your guests feel right at home around you.

Have you ever met a woman or two who make you feel so comfortable and relaxed within a few minutes of meeting them? Well, that’s a definite trait of a lady. She’s gracious, fun and knows how to make people feel important and loved.

11. Learn your P’s and Q’s

Manners are everything if you want to be a classy lady. Learn to ask for something you want with a “please”, and make sure you graciously thank anyone who offers you help. When you genuinely mean your p’s and q’s, the people you speak to, will feel special just to talk to you.

You’ll be surprised how far a ‘thank you’ or ‘yes, please’ takes you. These are small words, but they have a huge impact on people. Have you ever helped someone who didn’t say thank you? You were probably pretty offended. If you want to be classy, show your appreciation. [Read: 25 love-filled ways to say “I appreciate you” without using words]

12. Don’t go soft

Just because you’re behaving like a lady and your man’s ready to help you all the time shouldn’t make you soft. Be strong, smart and savvy. Your man may like helping you now and then. But if he feels like you can’t do anything by yourself, he’ll start to get frustrated or may even take you for granted. [Read: 21 clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid turning into one]

Remember, the key to being a lady is to ask a man for help, but always look for subtle ways to let him realize that you could do it yourself. By asking for his help like you need it, you’re not just asking him for help, you’re making him feel needed. If you have to change a flat tire, he should help you, but knowing fully well that you could do it yourself if need be.

13. You don’t gossip

This is actually pretty huge when it comes to learning how to be a classy lady. You will meet people that you’re not going to like, it’s normal. But what makes you different from the rest is that you don’t degrade them or talk poorly about them to others. If another woman talks bad about you, you ignore it. That’s what makes you a step above them. [Read: Why some people go looking for drama all the time]

14. You believe you’re classy

Believe you’re a classy woman, and feel it from within. You don’t need to compare yourself to other women, you need to focus on yourself. If you truly believe in yourself, your self-respect shows which is a huge part of how people perceive you. [Read: 15 steps to let go of insecurity and transform your life]

15. You keep your word

If you want to be a classy woman, build a reputation for keeping your word. If you say you’re going to help your friend, help them. If you say you’re going to host a dinner, then actually do it. A classy woman is someone dependable. It’s easy to be flaky, but in a world full of flakes, be the lady who stands by her word. [Read: All the reasons why you should ditch flaky friends who aren’t dependable]

16. You communicate your feelings with grace

A woman with class is a woman who communicates her feelings, whether positive or negative, in a way which solves the problem. You’re going to get angry, it’s normal. But yelling doesn’t solve anything. Keep your calm, and speak your mind, there’s really no need to yell it, or slam a door. How does that solve anything?

17. You stand with confidence

It’s such a small thing, but it makes a huge difference. When you walk or stand, do it with confidence. It doesn’t take a lot, you just need to keep your head up and your shoulders back. Posture is essential because people judge you within the first thirty-seconds and those seconds are crucial. Hold yourself high and people will see you as that. [Read: How to develop poise and feel like a princess]

18. Be genuine

Many people think a classy woman is someone in constant control of her actions and somewhat stiff. But that’s far from the truth. Being classy is about confidence and being a genuine version of yourself. It’s not about being a robot, it’s about being honest but expressing yourself in a manner that empathizes with the people you’re talking to.

19. You dress for yourself

what do you think when you picture a classy woman? You see her in lace, or a pencil skirt and her hair in a tight bun? That’s not always the case. Being classy simply means you wear clothes which flatter you and make you feel confident. Think classy, not trashy though. At the end of the day, everything circles back to your confidence and belief in yourself. [Read: How to look rich – 38 effortless ways to look like you’re rolling in cash]

20. You keep up with hygiene

Yes, this is huge. Classy women are hygienic. They shower, they wash their hair. You don’t have to wear fancy perfume or fake nails in order to look clean *you can still do that though*. This isn’t something that only classy women do, it’s what all people should do. It just makes a world of difference when you don’t smell like a gym mat. [Read: How to pick the perfect perfume and smell great]

21. Care about your health

Take pride in your body. This means trying to live a clean life. You don’t need cigarettes or to get wasted four times a week. You don’t need that, and if you do, take the time to see what you actually crave.

It doesn’t matter if you look like a model or not, this isn’t about getting a super hot body. Now, if you want a super hot body, go right ahead, and work hard for it. If you want to know how to be a classy lady, you don’t need to be a specific dress size. But feel good about yourself, and feel confident about your body. If you don’t love how you look, how can you carry it with grace and poise? [Read: How to motivate yourself to do pretty much anything]

22. Don’t come empty-handed to events

Many people don’t give this the attention it deserves. But if you really want to add a cherry on top of the sundae, you should never go empty-handed to any gathering. It doesn’t matter if you were invited last minute, bring a bottle of wine or chocolates. You’ll see how impressed people are when you show respect in this way.

23. Evolve but don’t change who you are

When it comes to learning how to be a lady, it isn’t just about table manners or behaving uptight. It’s about being who you are, while incorporating the traits you wish to see in yourself. If you were to come across someone else who you believe is classy and refined, wouldn’t you wish you could carry yourself with their elegance?

That’s all it takes. If there’s something you’d like to change about yourself, do it and do it for you. Not for the world. But if there’s something you absolutely don’t want to change about yourself, there’s nothing wrong with being who you are, as long as you love yourself. [Read: 27 powerful ways to focus on yourself and create your own sunshine]

24. Don’t look down on others

Especially other women! Okay, we get it, you feel classy now that you’re a lady, and you think you’ve deserve the right to behave like you’re “better” than them. But if you have to judge someone, are you really better than them? Don’t ever be mean to women who aren’t as graceful as you. You may now understand the traits of a fine lady, but that gives you no excuse to treat other lesser women badly.

Use these steps on how to be a lady, and the next time you’re with your friends or with your man, or just out and about, you’ll see how the world will start to treat you, just the way a real lady should be treated!

Want to take all this classiness to the next level? Check out this feature on the 20 most important classy traits that command awe and respect to know more!

[Read: The classy girl’s guide to be more attractive]

Okay, so you know now what it takes to learn how to be a classy lady. Trust me, it took me a while to learn not to snort when I laugh or sit with my legs open. But, if I can do it, so can you.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...