One of the hardest things when dating is having an insecure boyfriend. Knowing how to handle his insecurities can make your relationship a lot better.
Anyone can have insecurities. Either they grew up with them or something happened to make them feel self-conscious. You probably have insecurities, too. However, when you have an insecure boyfriend, things can get a little tricky to deal with.
Insecurity should never be a deal breaker. If you like someone, you should stay with them regardless. But that doesn’t mean having an insecure boyfriend will be easy. In fact, it can get difficult at times if you’re not sure how to deal with it.
How some people show their insecurities
You might be wondering how you’d even know if your boyfriend is insecure and let me tell you, there are a lot of ways to figure it out. More than likely, you’re reading this because you have already picked up on the fact that he has some issues going on.
Jealousy is easily the most universal sign that a guy has insecurity issues. He’ll get upset when you talk to or even about other guys. He might get upset, actually tell you that you can’t talk to some guys, and he might even accuse you of being unfaithful simply because he’s dealing with some insecurity issues on his own. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]
Dealing with an insecure boyfriend made a little easier
Yes, you can deal with these types of behaviors and even make them go away altogether. You alone can’t fix those problems, but you can do certain things to make your man feel secure with you. Here’s how you can handle your boyfriend’s insecurity with ease.
#1 Keep the communication going strong. This is really the most important part of a relationship and oftentimes, the responsibility will fall on the women to keep this up. Men aren’t very good at talking about their feelings.
As long as you continue to prompt your man to talk about the things that are bothering him, you’ll be able to work it out. Ask him questions. Tell him how you’re feeling. Just get him talking about how he’s doing. [Read: 9 ways to get your man to start communicating with you]
#2 Tell him how much he means to you. He should already know, but hearing it time and time again doesn’t hurt. Knowing you want to tell him how much you love him will make him feel good. He’ll feel as though he doesn’t have to worry about you running off with someone else.
#3 Figure out how he feels loved and do that. People don’t feel love the same. You might need physical affection or verbal affection to feel love whereas he might feel love by being needed by you.
Figure out which way he feels the most loved. You can even as him. Ask what things you do make him feel the most appreciated and cared for. Then do those things more often so he’s not as insecure.
#4 Reassure him often. Sometimes you just need to tell him that he has nothing to worry about. Verbally confirm that you’re only there for him and want no one else. It might seem tedious to do this all the time but it’ll be worth it. Just don’t over do it or he might just think you’re saying stuff to throw him off. [Read: How to reassure and win over a super jealous type]
#5 Keep in contact without being asked. Just check in throughout the day. It’s really not that big of a deal. Tell him when you walk from the coffee shop home. Send a quick text when you’re done from work. You don’t have to give him a play by play of your entire day, but just let him know what you’re up to so he doesn’t need to feel anxious and worry.
#6 Ask him to communicate. If he’s an insecure boyfriend, you just need to be upfront with him. Tell him you need him to talk to you more so you can work together. He might not be very good at this at first but the more you ask him to tell you how he’s feeling, the more naturally it’ll come to him.
#7 Don’t point out his insecurities. Never point out his insecurities and never mention them in front of his friends. He knows what they are and it’ll make him feel worse if you point them out and especially if you make fun of them.
#8 Openly discuss his past. Since a guy’s past can tell you a lot about their insecurity issues, go ahead and discuss it with him. At first, he might not want to open up about it. Make sure he knows you’re willing to talk about anything he has to say so he’ll feel more comfortable going to you.
#9 Don’t lie to him about anything. If you lie and he catches it, he won’t be able to trust you. And not having trust will make his insecurities a LOT worse. So if you can avoid it, just don’t lie to him. Tell him the truth whenever you can and make sure it’s right away. This will build up your trust and that’ll help his insecurities settle down. [Read: How to regain your partner’s trust after you’ve lied to them]
#10 Let him meet all your friends – even the guys. If anything, he should be meeting the guys you spend time with right away. Otherwise, it’ll be really easy for him to paint them in a negative light before he even knows them. He’ll get really insecure that you’re spending a lot of time with other guys and it’ll become a really big issue for the two of you.
#11 Open up about your insecurities. Knowing he’s not alone with his insecurities will help him feel a lot better. So talk about yours! Let him know you have issues too and you’re not always happy when it comes to certain things. If he feels like he can be vulnerable with you about something you both are dealing with, it’ll be much easier to handle. [Read: How to feel beautiful even on your darkest days]
#12 Ask him what he needs from you. Be honest and just ask what he needs from you. How much communication does he need throughout the day? What are some things you can do to make him feel better? Knowing exactly what’ll help his insecurity will make your relationship better.
#13 Prove he has nothing to worry about time and time again. This is easy. Just be faithful and be there for him. Always prove his worst fears to be false. This is all it takes for his insecurities to be less and less prominent. He’ll still have them, sure. But the stronger and healthier your relationship is, the less he’ll feel insecure.
Truth be told, it’s really not that hard to deal with an insecure boyfriend. Just reassure him of your feeling and be honest with him. Doing these things will ensure he knows he has nothing to be insecure about.
Liked what you just read? Like us on FacebookTwitterPinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...