Choosing Between Two Guys: 20 Questions to Help You Choose
You are in a situation most girls only dream about, but is it really all that fun choosing between two guys? Here’s how to make it easier.
Did you ever think you’d find yourself in the midst of a love triangle? Except with this triangle, both people are pining over you, and you over them. Although this may sound like a dream situation that leaves you feeling incredible about yourself, it’s not an easy situation to get out of.
Sure, you can enjoy your time with both guys—going on dates, cuddling during movies, and even having some fun between the sheets. But eventually, they will want to set the relationship and get a label on it. AKA, you’ll have to pick which one you want to be exclusively committed to.
How do you choose between two awesome men?
How do you choose when you obviously like both guys equally? On one hand, you do realize that you have to pick one of them and settle into a relationship. But on the other hand, you’re so happy with both of them that you don’t want to lose either! [Read: In love with two people? How to make up your mind]
Finding one person you want to date and be with is rare, let alone two! Even though you may feel lucky in this situation, you are now responsible for one of these guys’ happiness… and the other’s heartache.
I think we may have something to learn from Reese Witherspoon’s role in the movie This Means War. Some of her tactics to decide which man is better may seem outlandish, but others have found their way onto our list of ways to make choosing between two guys easier.
#1 Learn as much as you can about them. How can you properly decide between two guys to date if you don’t actually know them very well? In order to truly decide which man is best for you, you’ll want to find out everything you can about them: their hobbies, likes/dislikes, and even all their favorites. [Check out: How to get to know a guy you want to date]
#2 Discuss their future plans. What is it that these guys want out of life? Where do they see their lives going? In order to choose who is best for you, you’ll have to figure out which person has a future that best fits yours. How can you be with one guy if he plans on traveling the world and you’re deathly afraid of planes?
#3 Determine if they have any deal-breakers. Everyone has a relationship deal-breaker. You know yours, and you’ll want to make sure they don’t have any. Not only should you make sure they’re free of all of your deal breakers—you should also find out theirs, and make sure you’re not guilty of any of them.
#4 Beware of any red flags. Sometimes, it’s hard to see something they do as a red flag, but you really have to pay attention. Do they poke fun at you, but it actually makes you feel bad about yourself? Do they shy away from you every time they check their phone? These could be serious relationship red flags. [Read: 22 early warnings signs of a guy who will be a bad boyfriend]
#5 Spend at least 2 consecutive days with them. Spend at least a whole weekend with each guy. This is crucial in determining if you’ll be able to be with them in long-term situations. You could have the best chemistry with someone for a few hours, but what happens when you’re with them all day? Do you get annoyed, or are you even happier to spend that time with them? This will help you decide who you could see yourself being with in the long run.
#6 Think about your feelings. I truly believe it’s nearly impossible to like two people equally. Not truly equally, at least. Maybe you have strong feelings for both, but one person has you feeling more powerfully in love. Sit and think deeply about who you feel more connected to. That will help you choose between the two guys.
#7 Don’t compare their physical appearances. Some people will say that you should be with the person you find the most physically attractive. And even though physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship, it’s also the part that fizzles out the fastest. So, make sure you’re not taking that into consideration when choosing who you want to be with. [Try: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
#8 Think about the outcomes deeply. How do you feel picturing your life without either guy? Which one seems like it would be easier to get over? If it’s easier for you to imagine your everyday life without one, then you should really pick the other guy.
#9 Whose name are you more excited to see pop up on your phone? When you’re into someone, their name popping up on your phone gets you all kinds of excited. Which person’s name makes your stomach go into knots when you see it? Who are you hoping has texted you when you hear that familiar ringtone?
#10 Who can you have the best conversation with? At the end of the day, you’re going to want someone who makes conversation easy. You’re going to want to be with the person who is going to stimulate you more mentally than physically—but hopefully both. [Check out: How to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex]
#11 Who can you sit in comfortable silence with? While having great conversation can be a big deal, finding someone that you don’t have to say anything around is equally as important. If you’re dating someone, you can’t spend every second talking. This means you’ll be left with a lot of silence. You need to be with someone you have fun with, even if you’re sitting in complete silence.
#12 Who makes you feel sexier? Hopefully, both guys make you feel like the hottest person in the world, but one guy is sure to make you feel the best you ever have. You want to be with the man who has the ability to make you feel like a million bucks… even when you think you look like a tarnished old penny.
#13 Which person can you truly be yourself around? You should never have to fake anything with the person you’re meant to be with. If you find that you’re more comfortable being yourself around one guy, you should choose him. [Check it out: 16 easy ways to respect yourself in a relationship]
#14 Don’t ask for anyone’s help. You may want to call a meeting with your gal pals in order to discuss who is better for you, but the problem is that your friends don’t know how you feel. They only see what the men are doing, not how they make you feel. Keep this decision to yourself.
#15 Which one makes you feel safer? In the long run, you want a man who can make you feel safe and comfortable. If one of them makes you feel a hell of a lot safer than the other, that’s the one for you.
#16 Who’s the best at cheering you up? You’re going to have a lot of moments in your life where you feel down and out. You need a guy who can effectively cheer you up. Whichever guy is better at this, that’s the one you should be choosing. [Read: 7 easy steps to be blissfully happy in a relationship]
#17 Make a comparative list. Going through all of this in your head isn’t as effective as making a list. Lists are much more visual, and you can see the pros/cons better between each person. Make that list and figure out who’s your better match.
#18 Take their past into consideration. Now, I normally wouldn’t be the one to tell you to judge someone based on their past relationships, but if you’re trying to decide between two awesome guys, you should. Who has a dicey past relationship? Odds are, their new relationship will follow similar patterns as their last. So make sure you’re informed about their past flings.
#19 Determine who’s trying harder. One of them has to be making a bigger effort than the other. So figure out which guy is trying harder to win your heart. Chances are, he’ll be the one to try the longest, as well.
#20 Be with the person you feel more natural with. At the end of the day, a relationship should be easy. It shouldn’t take much effort for you to be happy and comfortable with the person you’re meant to be with. So decide which man feels more natural to be with. Decide which man you just feel right with.
[Read next: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your life]
Deciding between two amazing men who both seem to have the hots for you isn’t an easy task. Luckily, we’ve put together this list in order to make it a whole lot easier.