You meet a man and fall in love. Your heart tells you all you need to know, but is love really enough? Are you left wondering, should I marry him?
I believe that when it comes to deciding if you should marry the man you love, you’re the only one who can tell you if it’s the right thing to do. No one knows your relationship as intimately as you do. No one has the right to tell you if you’re going to be happier with someone else. So if you’re pondering over the question “should I marry him?” just read on.
My own experience
“Are you sure you want to marry him?”
“How do you know you’re with the right man?”
Ever since I announced my engagement to friends and family, I’ve been asked these two questions many times. Somehow, I always fall back on my go-to answer of, “I just know.”
Despite it being vague and excessively general, I don’t think my answer will ever change. I know that love isn’t enough to sustain a healthy relationship, and that it takes much more than just feelings.
Should I marry him? 17 signs you should
If you are in a rut and need some basic guidance, these 17 signs help you see if he’s the one for you. Don’t just take these 17 signs as proof you should marry the man you’re with. Listen to your heart too.
#1 He treats you like a queen. Marry the man who treats you like a queen. Don’t put up with being number two in his life and certainly don’t put up with him belittling you. If you want forever to last, he needs to know how to treat a woman right. [Read: The 20 qualities in a guy that makes him a really good man]
#2 He has proven his love. Words are easily muttered. Don’t trust his I-love-you spiels unless he turns his words into actions. If your man exhibits trust, patience, loyalty, and kindness, you can be sure he can do nothing more to prove his love for you.
#3 He’s financially stable. I’m not saying only marry him if he’s rich. I’m saying marry him if he’s financially responsible. This means he makes a decent living, pays his bills on time, and has some leftover for the future.
#5 You can’t envision a life without him. If the very thought of living the rest of your life without him brings tears to your eyes, it’s a definite sign you love him and that he’s the one for you.
#6 He wants you to be happy. This isn’t done through expensive and materialistic things but rather through his wit and charm. If he makes you laugh and always make you feel loved and happy no matter the situation, he’s a keeper.
#7 He fights fair. A man who doesn’t resort to emotional or physical abuse is a real man. If your man has a temper he can’t reign in, seriously reconsider saying ‘I do.’ At least till he sorts those anger issues out. [Read: 10 immature things couples fight about all the time]
#8 He listens to you. I don’t mean listening to you when you yap about your friends or when you ask him to take out the trash. I mean really listening to you.
This means paying attention to not just your words, but to your heart as well. A man who does this without batting an eye is a keeper.
#9 He supports you emotionally. You’re an independent woman who buys her own bling.
No matter how tough you are, you need someone in your life who supports you emotionally. If your man always supports you no matter what, it’s a surefire sign he’s the one for you. [Read: 9 undeniable signs your guy is husband material]
#10 He’s your number one person. He’s your emergency contact, your confidante, your court jester, your best friend, your lover, your knight in shining armor. If this man is everything you need and more, it’s a clear-cut sign he was made for you.
#11 He wants a future with you. From discussing kids to where you will live, it is important to lay out a basic framework for your future together before getting married.
If you’ve talked about the life you’re going to build together and both of you are on the same page, go right ahead and walk down that aisle.
#13 You have made so many memories together. Most, if not all, of your happiest memories involve him. If you look back at your past and appreciate all the good times you shared, there’s a bloody good chance your future will be just as happy.
#14 He gets you. Once you find a man who loves you despite your flaws, even the most disgusting bits, he’s probably the one for you.
#15 He makes your heart flutter. If you’re going to commit yourself to one man for the rest of your life, you’d better make sure he’s a good one—in and out of bed. The man you marry should be able to excite you, make your heart flutter, and make you want to jump his bones even if he’s just chilling in his sweats. [Read: How do you know when you love someone? 18 foolproof ways]
#16 You’re in awe of each other. There needs to be mutual respect before you walk down the aisle. For example, I’m not going to deny I’m still in awe of my fiancé despite being together for seven years.
From his dedication to building a life for us, to his patience during trying times, he continues to impress me daily, and I’m thankful for him.
#17 He’s willing to put in the work. It’s not just you doing everything to make the relationship work. He makes just as much of an effort as well. From apologizing after an argument to doing the laundry, your man should actively be involved your relationship.
Read as many lists as you want and seek truckloads of advice from every corner of the world but at the end of the day, you must listen to your heart. It all comes down to how you feel and how hard you’re both willing to work.
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Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...