Home Women Girl Talk How to Reject a Guy or Turn Down a Guy Nicely

How to Reject a Guy or Turn Down a Guy Nicely

Like Us on Facebook

Print

Email

Knowing how to reject a guy is never easy. There is no perfect way to turn down a guy, as each guy is different. But here’s a list of ways that would definitely help you get the point across, the nice way and the harsh way.

how to reject a guy - How to turn down a guy

Do you know the right way to reject a guy nicely?

[Read: How to be just friends with a guy who asks you out]

Understand how to turn down a guy with these simple steps.

How to reject a guy

You may have just broken up with a guy, you may just be friendly with another guy, or you may have met a new guy at a party.

It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, but there’s a good chance that you may have come across a guy that fancies you and wants to go out with you.

If you like the guy, it’s all fun and dandy.

But if you don’t, and he’s being persistent, then you’ve got a bit of an issue on your hands.

[Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]

10 steps to turn down a guy

Rejecting a guy can be a sensitive matter. And it completely depends on the guy and how he’s pursuing you.

Some guys may be understanding enough to back away when you tell them you aren’t interested.

But some guys may need a firmer response to get the message across.

If you want to know how to reject a guy, here’s a list of things you can do to get the message across. Start with the first one, and work your way down the list.

Somewhere along the line, you’ll surely find a point that can harden his heart and make him move on. Whew!

How to reject a guy nicely

Now all guys aren’t bad. You have to understand that a guy may be persistent only because he likes you a lot. In some cases, the guy may be genuinely nice and may only want you to get to know him better.

And in some other cases, he may assume you’re playing hard to get and may pursue you with renewed vigor. [Read: The real reason behind why guys chase girls]

But whatever may be the case, if you want to turn down a guy, use any of these pointers as you see fit.

#1 Tell him the truth

This is plain and simple. If a guy that you’re not particularly interested in asks you out, tell him straight out that you aren’t interested in him. You don’t really have to be rude at first unless he’s persistent. You really don’t owe every guy who falls in love with you an explanation about why you’re uninterested in him, or why you want to reject him.

#2 Tell him you’d want to be friends

If you want to reject a guy, but are not sure you want to lose him, tell him you don’t want to go out with him right now, but would love to be friends instead. This is best used when you’re not sure yourself. Take a bit of time to figure it out, and depending upon how things go, you can always change your mind! [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy girl]

#3 Make it clear

If the guy you rejected asks you to go out with him again, it’s time to be firm. You’ve already been gentle before. So this time, tell him clearly and firmly that there’s no way you could ever like him back. And also tell him that you’re starting to get irritated with his behavior.

Many guys have an annoying habit of wanting to know the logical reason behind why you’re rejecting them. They want you to explain it, and even if you do, they want more explanations. So instead of getting yourself in a bind, just make your rejection clear and don’t go into elaborate details. He’ll never be happy with your answers, no matter what you say.

#4 Tell him you’ll dislike him

Some guys get scared of this one. When he persistently tries to ask you out, tell him you’re starting to get annoyed with his behavior. Tell him that you’ve started disliking him, and the more he asks you out, you’ll only end up hating him.

#5 Pretend to be saddened by his proposal

If a guy’s rather persistent, but yet, quite kind and nice, have a talk with him. Tell him that you’re getting upset and saddened by his persistence. Tell him you’re having a difficult time getting through the day because of his incessant proposals.

When you show your sensitive side to a nice guy, there’s a good chance he’ll back away even if he still wants to ask you out repeatedly. [Read: Signs a guy is really into you]

How to turn down a guy harshly

If none of the earlier ways on how to reject a guy fail to work, here are a few harsh ways that could definitely get the point across. In a harsh way, of course! [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]

#6 Avoid the guy

Now some guys may be nice, but their persistence can be really annoying. Avoid the guy, and make it obvious that you’re avoiding him. If he asks you about it, you can tell him that you tried everything else, but he’s just not getting the point.

#7 Don’t speak to him alone

Guys like it when the girl they like has a conversation with them alone. It shows preferential treatment over other guys. So avoid giving away any signs that could be taken positively. Avoid the guy, and even if he tells you that he wants to speak with you alone, don’t give him a chance. Tell him you’ll speak with him alone only when you’re convinced he’s not hitting on you. [Read: Do guys like shy girls and find them attractive?]

#8 Be rude

If being firm doesn’t help, be rude. But play hot and cold. You don’t want to upset psycho boy! Yell at him and shout at him. Tell him you hate him.

And then soften up and appear sad. Say “I just wish you’d understand. I really don’t want to yell at you, but you’re making me helpless. Why don’t you get it, I don’t like you and I never will…”

And then, start yelling again. Being overly rude to a guy can at times make him vengeful and quite scary. You wouldn’t want that, so showing him your softer side in the middle of all the yelling will actually make him feel guilty instead! [Read: A date rape story]

#9 Cut him off from your social circle

Call him up and tell him that you can’t stand his behavior anymore. Tell him that you’d want to be friends and nothing more.

Tell him that you’re going to take him off your friends’ lists in social networking sites. Tell him you’re going to avoid him if you meet him. And tell him you won’t answer his calls anymore.

And finally, tell him that you’re willing to be friends only if he can look at you as a friend and behave as one. Explain to him that he can call you again the day he can look at you as a friend and nothing more. If he can do that, tell him, only then can you both be friends again. [Read: How to manipulate men]

#10 Ignore him

The final frontier that will always work. If you’ve tried all of the above points, then this should be your last resort. After you’ve cut him off from your life, ignore him completely. Walk past him, and don’t wave or even look at him. If he confronts you, be nice and warm though. Don’t be rude.

Being completely rude when he tries to talk to you will only make him pursue you more. Speak to him like he’s a five year old. Explain to him nicely that you’ve already told him what he has to do. Both of you can be friends only if he promises to look at you as a friend. And then tell him you’re sorry, but you really can’t talk anymore and walk away.

Think about this, no guy who really does like you would want to be a friend and forget all his intentions. So asking him to be a friend is probably going to be one of the hardest things he can do. [Read: Are you more than friends?]

And on the other hand, if you tell him you never want to see him or talk to him, it would only make him want to pursue you more, as he really has nothing to lose. Use these tips on how to reject a guy, and use the line that seems appropriate. But always remember, guys can’t take rejection, so reject a guy in a manner that makes him feel like he’s at fault and he’ll back away even before you know it!

[Read: Why guy friends are nothing but trouble]

And there you have it, girls, ten of the world’s best ways on how to reject a guy. Use it and see how simple and effective turning down a guy can really be!


We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!


Like Us on Facebook


Like Lovepanky on Facebook and follow us @Lovepanky. Join our conversations and let’s create better love and relationships in the world.

Have your say!
  • Ginny
    November 15, 2011 | Permalink |

    Nice tips. I’m sure they’d work great. But it’s so hard to get a point across into a guy’s head, isn’t it?

    Girls take a hint easily and know when to back off. But guys need to get words hammered into their head to even understand a few words. I wonder why that is? Are guys dumb or are they just stubborn?

  • Bill
    December 18, 2011 | Permalink |

    Ginny – I’m guessing you are not in a relationship right now, or at least not satisfied with the one you’re in.

    Guys are persistent, as they should be. The girl wants to know that she is special, and that’s what the guy is trying to show her. Girls don’t know how to spot decent guys. Are girls just dumb, or do they like being treated like shit?

  • dave
    March 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    Women want the guy to pursue and to be persistent or he is too “nice” and must be punished for giving up too easily and not proving that he could go after what he wants. Women get just what they deserve!

  • Jen
    April 30, 2012 | Permalink |

    Seriously Bill and Dave, it’s like you two are on the receiving end of a few rejected advances.. Don’t be bitter because women don’t like you back and why should we explain for the 20th time to men that we’re not interested?? I don’t need to be made to feel special by anyone, especially not if I’ve told them no time and time again. Why do some men think it’s attention that women crav? Sometimes it’s just being friendly.

  • Danielle
    August 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    I turned a guy down for dating and accepting gifts, 4 months ago and i want to change my mind, what do I do?

  • Ruth
    October 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ll give some of these a go then… one of my coworkers took a liking to me over the summer and while I thought it was friendly fun at first, it has progressed into constant innuendos, suggestions, occasional straight-up ‘we should have sex tonight’ statements and invasions of my personal space. I may have liked him if he’d been willing to back off a bit, but no matter how many times I tell him I’m not interested, he keeps coming back. It’ll make work a bit awkward whenever I see him I suppose, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I throw up. He acts like a complete pig whenever he’s around me.

  • James
    October 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    I like these. You’d think they’d be common sense but there are girls who skip the courteous and tactful approach for a rude one and well…thats fine really. No is no. Rejection is only a problem if you really really like the girl you ask out. Basically, don’t let a crush develop before you ask the girl out and when you face rejection you can just say “oh bummer” then walk around the city some and you’ll be thinking “ooo….next!”

  • Charlotte
    November 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    There’s this guy who is really into me but I don’t know if the harsh tact is for me… I don’t want to hurt him, but in truth being blunt and honest is the only way forward.
    This guy is nice, but there is no mutual feelings, no interest and let’s face it he’s dull… We’re both very busy people so technically we have no time for each other anyway. But… It’s still awkward all the same.
    I have told people who liked me to back off by instant message before, I instantly regretted that as how would I have felt if that were me? But I made the right decision in the same time as he did back off.
    It’s such as messy and complicated process to comprehend. :/

  • December 22, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have a lot of guy friends, and many of them have started noticing me in a “new way”… And I dont really like any of them enough to date them, but one of my (now ex-) bestfriends has a huge crush on me, maybe even in love…. Anyways, he tells our friends he wants to talk to me, then comletely ignores me and goes in the other direction if he sees me; then blames me for ignoring him!!! Honestly, Im not the mean type of person, I just want him to get over the fact I don’t like him the same way he likes me.

  • Jackie
    February 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you, this is the advice I needed! I also want to mention to never ever turn down a guy in public, be it online community, or in real life. If online try to see if they can instant message you, they’ll get really mad if you embarrass them in front of everyone.

  • Kerry
    April 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    “You really don’t owe every guy who falls in love with you an explanation about why you’re uninterested in him, or why you want to reject him.”

    I find this so called advice sick. The above example even further enrages me. Its too bad that a man isn’t even worth being told the truth. How would a woman feel about an advice column that suggests to men that they deliberately lie and be cruel to women? How would you feel about it? As a man who went on a date and was lied to the entire evening by a woman who disappeared on me. It hurts to read this trash. The fact that someone can’t be civil enough to extend human respect to another living being sickens me. It is degrading to men that we are treated as if we are not living things. My hatred of women comes from trash like this.

  • ann
    July 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    Kerry,

    This advice is not meant to be cruel but self protective. Men have the advantage in relationships, in terms of being stronger emotionally and physically.

    When I have tried to explain why I am not interested in a guy, they view that as a negotiation and try to override your concerns. They won’t take no for an answer and will persist and harass.

    Every day men harass women –some women get harassed multiple times a day by different men. Does she owe each man an explanation for why she is not interested? Does she have to give him time to show his game?

    Usually women know within seconds whether they are interested. They can size up the guy whereas the guy is often making the advance based upon looks or sexual selection.

    It’s hard to explain why you are not interested, as a I said, as men won’t accept it. They often get vindictive, can get angry, potentially violent, or emotionally abusive…so women have to manage the date until they can get away and be safe.

  • steve
    November 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ann, just because we’re gigs, it doesn’t mean we’re going to react like that. You have to understand that advice like this contributes to turning these guys the way they are.

    You look at how a lot of girls are today, and they slip right to #6… even the “nice” ways to turn a guy down are kind of mean. while you don’t owe an explanation, friending on the situation, sometimes outs the right thing to do right from the start. but the big issue are the harsh ways of turning a guy down, mainly according him up to completely cutting him off… These things should ONLY be done if the guy is starting to get Moyer on the abusive side, because let’s be honest, if you were interested in him, you’d love to have him hit on you all the time.

    we’re not all jerks that are gonna flip because you reject us, our demand to know why, but after being avoided to much rather than told down, our for some peyote spending an entire life being rejected because they don’t have that “edge”, how do you honestly expect these guys to act? Sorry girls, but respect is a two weedy street. you have to give it to get it. and this is addressed to women add a while, not any individual ones here. stop using these advice things that only result in making it worse, and out on your big girl panties and day no, and if he’s to persistent, get mad, not go run and hide

  • Renee
    December 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow this article seems really mean. Can’t you just say no thank you, I’m not interested. That is direct.
    Ok I love nice guys, I’m still in love with a nice, polite, respectful guy. I don’t need drama. If I am not interested in someone I tell them directly. If I am interested, i get really happy and open and invite them to pursue me. It’s sweet. People just need to read signals. If the body language and speech say no, then don’t push it.

  • Amma
    January 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    Guys dont judge our entire gender on this article. Women can be cold hearted with out being provoked and men can expect to much and turn all hunter vs the prey to get their way. That doesn’t mean this is a symptom of that gender. I will say since one of you said men do this bc women want…. Again this isn’t true for the female gender as a whole. And some woman turn extremely meek around men or extremely mean around men because of previous experiences with men just as men can with theirs

  • Dave's idea is terrible
    January 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    think they should have a side article by men who tell the best ways they have been rejected.

    To all the Dave’s .
    Dave instead of being sour, how about if you don’t like the way she handles it, don’t chase. Find a different type of woman. Besides if she isn’t wanting to be chased, your freaky her out. And if she wants chased but never caught then this is pointless so if you think the first rejection was a test, try a week or so later; it’s never bad to make her think she isn’t the most important thing to u right now, but you would like to get to know her to see if she can be. Don’t say that. If she still rejects move on, easy fish to catch than that confusing one. Confusing because you aren’t sure if she wants chased or if she really wants you to stop. Easiest answer don’t go for it. If guys didn’t women would stop. Sorry not fixing spell check errors.

  • ElizaM
    January 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    Dave and Bill

    You’re making this more complicated than it actually is. If she’s not into you, MOVE ON!!!

  • Anna
    April 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    The guys here are proving the point of how some men behave when rejected. Kerry, this is why you ‘hate’ women? And you seriously wonder why they disappear on you, rather than have a frank discussion with a man who has waves of bitterness and hate rolling from him? Too bad, the safety of women comes before your precious feelings. And Steve, stop talking about how women are ‘making’ men behave like this. It doesn’t matter how many times you were rejected in the past, or what has happened to you, you and only you are responsible to how to choose to handle it. Build some character instead of pretending to be so helpless. Saying women are responsible for making guys behave in negative, aggressive ways is pretty much the No1 sign of an abuser.

  • Anthony
    August 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    why in the heck don’t women pursue then? Guys need to stick their necks out and women are complete cowards. You stupid vaginas.

Join In!

Something you wanna say about this feature? Enjoy a great conversation right here...

Your email is never shared. Required fields are marked *

Love Couch

Flirting Flings

Sensual Tease

Men

Women

My Life

Travel and Health

Entertainment