Knowing how to reject a guy is never easy. There is no perfect way to turn down a guy, as each guy is different. But here’s a list of ways that would definitely help you get the point across, the nice way and the harsh way.
Do you know the right way to reject a guy nicely?
[Read: How to be just friends with a guy who asks you out]
Understand how to turn down a guy with these simple steps.
How to reject a guy
You may have just broken up with a guy, you may just be friendly with another guy, or you may have met a new guy at a party.
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, but there’s a good chance that you may have come across a guy that fancies you and wants to go out with you.
If you like the guy, it’s all fun and dandy.
But if you don’t, and he’s being persistent, then you’ve got a bit of an issue on your hands.
[Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]
10 steps to turn down a guy
Rejecting a guy can be a sensitive matter. And it completely depends on the guy and how he’s pursuing you.
Some guys may be understanding enough to back away when you tell them you aren’t interested.
But some guys may need a firmer response to get the message across.
If you want to know how to reject a guy, here’s a list of things you can do to get the message across. Start with the first one, and work your way down the list.
Somewhere along the line, you’ll surely find a point that can harden his heart and make him move on. Whew!
How to reject a guy nicely
Now all guys aren’t bad. You have to understand that a guy may be persistent only because he likes you a lot. In some cases, the guy may be genuinely nice and may only want you to get to know him better.
And in some other cases, he may assume you’re playing hard to get and may pursue you with renewed vigor. [Read: The real reason behind why guys chase girls]
But whatever may be the case, if you want to turn down a guy, use any of these pointers as you see fit.
#1 Tell him the truth
This is plain and simple. If a guy that you’re not particularly interested in asks you out, tell him straight out that you aren’t interested in him. You don’t really have to be rude at first unless he’s persistent. You really don’t owe every guy who falls in love with you an explanation about why you’re uninterested in him, or why you want to reject him.
#2 Tell him you’d want to be friends
If you want to reject a guy, but are not sure you want to lose him, tell him you don’t want to go out with him right now, but would love to be friends instead. This is best used when you’re not sure yourself. Take a bit of time to figure it out, and depending upon how things go, you can always change your mind! [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy girl]
#3 Make it clear
If the guy you rejected asks you to go out with him again, it’s time to be firm. You’ve already been gentle before. So this time, tell him clearly and firmly that there’s no way you could ever like him back. And also tell him that you’re starting to get irritated with his behavior.
Many guys have an annoying habit of wanting to know the logical reason behind why you’re rejecting them. They want you to explain it, and even if you do, they want more explanations. So instead of getting yourself in a bind, just make your rejection clear and don’t go into elaborate details. He’ll never be happy with your answers, no matter what you say.
#4 Tell him you’ll dislike him
Some guys get scared of this one. When he persistently tries to ask you out, tell him you’re starting to get annoyed with his behavior. Tell him that you’ve started disliking him, and the more he asks you out, you’ll only end up hating him.
#5 Pretend to be saddened by his proposal
If a guy’s rather persistent, but yet, quite kind and nice, have a talk with him. Tell him that you’re getting upset and saddened by his persistence. Tell him you’re having a difficult time getting through the day because of his incessant proposals.
When you show your sensitive side to a nice guy, there’s a good chance he’ll back away even if he still wants to ask you out repeatedly. [Read: Signs a guy is really into you]
How to turn down a guy harshly
If none of the earlier ways on how to reject a guy fail to work, here are a few harsh ways that could definitely get the point across. In a harsh way, of course! [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]
#6 Avoid the guy
Now some guys may be nice, but their persistence can be really annoying. Avoid the guy, and make it obvious that you’re avoiding him. If he asks you about it, you can tell him that you tried everything else, but he’s just not getting the point.
#7 Don’t speak to him alone
Guys like it when the girl they like has a conversation with them alone. It shows preferential treatment over other guys. So avoid giving away any signs that could be taken positively. Avoid the guy, and even if he tells you that he wants to speak with you alone, don’t give him a chance. Tell him you’ll speak with him alone only when you’re convinced he’s not hitting on you. [Read: Do guys like shy girls and find them attractive?]
#8 Be rude
If being firm doesn’t help, be rude. But play hot and cold. You don’t want to upset psycho boy! Yell at him and shout at him. Tell him you hate him.
And then soften up and appear sad. Say “I just wish you’d understand. I really don’t want to yell at you, but you’re making me helpless. Why don’t you get it, I don’t like you and I never will…”
And then, start yelling again. Being overly rude to a guy can at times make him vengeful and quite scary. You wouldn’t want that, so showing him your softer side in the middle of all the yelling will actually make him feel guilty instead! [Read: A date rape story]
#9 Cut him off from your social circle
Call him up and tell him that you can’t stand his behavior anymore. Tell him that you’d want to be friends and nothing more.
Tell him that you’re going to take him off your friends’ lists in social networking sites. Tell him you’re going to avoid him if you meet him. And tell him you won’t answer his calls anymore.
And finally, tell him that you’re willing to be friends only if he can look at you as a friend and behave as one. Explain to him that he can call you again the day he can look at you as a friend and nothing more. If he can do that, tell him, only then can you both be friends again. [Read: How to manipulate men]
#10 Ignore him
The final frontier that will always work. If you’ve tried all of the above points, then this should be your last resort. After you’ve cut him off from your life, ignore him completely. Walk past him, and don’t wave or even look at him. If he confronts you, be nice and warm though. Don’t be rude.
Being completely rude when he tries to talk to you will only make him pursue you more. Speak to him like he’s a five year old. Explain to him nicely that you’ve already told him what he has to do. Both of you can be friends only if he promises to look at you as a friend. And then tell him you’re sorry, but you really can’t talk anymore and walk away.
Think about this, no guy who really does like you would want to be a friend and forget all his intentions. So asking him to be a friend is probably going to be one of the hardest things he can do. [Read: Are you more than friends?]
And on the other hand, if you tell him you never want to see him or talk to him, it would only make him want to pursue you more, as he really has nothing to lose. Use these tips on how to reject a guy, and use the line that seems appropriate. But always remember, guys can’t take rejection, so reject a guy in a manner that makes him feel like he’s at fault and he’ll back away even before you know it!
[Read: Why guy friends are nothing but trouble]
And there you have it, girls, ten of the world’s best ways on how to reject a guy. Use it and see how simple and effective turning down a guy can really be!
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Nice tips. I’m sure they’d work great. But it’s so hard to get a point across into a guy’s head, isn’t it?
Girls take a hint easily and know when to back off. But guys need to get words hammered into their head to even understand a few words. I wonder why that is? Are guys dumb or are they just stubborn?
Ginny – I’m guessing you are not in a relationship right now, or at least not satisfied with the one you’re in.
Guys are persistent, as they should be. The girl wants to know that she is special, and that’s what the guy is trying to show her. Girls don’t know how to spot decent guys. Are girls just dumb, or do they like being treated like shit?
Women want the guy to pursue and to be persistent or he is too “nice” and must be punished for giving up too easily and not proving that he could go after what he wants. Women get just what they deserve!
Seriously Bill and Dave, it’s like you two are on the receiving end of a few rejected advances.. Don’t be bitter because women don’t like you back and why should we explain for the 20th time to men that we’re not interested?? I don’t need to be made to feel special by anyone, especially not if I’ve told them no time and time again. Why do some men think it’s attention that women crav? Sometimes it’s just being friendly.
I turned a guy down for dating and accepting gifts, 4 months ago and i want to change my mind, what do I do?
I’ll give some of these a go then… one of my coworkers took a liking to me over the summer and while I thought it was friendly fun at first, it has progressed into constant innuendos, suggestions, occasional straight-up ‘we should have sex tonight’ statements and invasions of my personal space. I may have liked him if he’d been willing to back off a bit, but no matter how many times I tell him I’m not interested, he keeps coming back. It’ll make work a bit awkward whenever I see him I suppose, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I throw up. He acts like a complete pig whenever he’s around me.
I like these. You’d think they’d be common sense but there are girls who skip the courteous and tactful approach for a rude one and well…thats fine really. No is no. Rejection is only a problem if you really really like the girl you ask out. Basically, don’t let a crush develop before you ask the girl out and when you face rejection you can just say “oh bummer” then walk around the city some and you’ll be thinking “ooo….next!”
There’s this guy who is really into me but I don’t know if the harsh tact is for me… I don’t want to hurt him, but in truth being blunt and honest is the only way forward.
This guy is nice, but there is no mutual feelings, no interest and let’s face it he’s dull… We’re both very busy people so technically we have no time for each other anyway. But… It’s still awkward all the same.
I have told people who liked me to back off by instant message before, I instantly regretted that as how would I have felt if that were me? But I made the right decision in the same time as he did back off.
It’s such as messy and complicated process to comprehend. :/
I have a lot of guy friends, and many of them have started noticing me in a “new way”… And I dont really like any of them enough to date them, but one of my (now ex-) bestfriends has a huge crush on me, maybe even in love…. Anyways, he tells our friends he wants to talk to me, then comletely ignores me and goes in the other direction if he sees me; then blames me for ignoring him!!! Honestly, Im not the mean type of person, I just want him to get over the fact I don’t like him the same way he likes me.
Thank you, this is the advice I needed! I also want to mention to never ever turn down a guy in public, be it online community, or in real life. If online try to see if they can instant message you, they’ll get really mad if you embarrass them in front of everyone.
“You really don’t owe every guy who falls in love with you an explanation about why you’re uninterested in him, or why you want to reject him.”
I find this so called advice sick. The above example even further enrages me. Its too bad that a man isn’t even worth being told the truth. How would a woman feel about an advice column that suggests to men that they deliberately lie and be cruel to women? How would you feel about it? As a man who went on a date and was lied to the entire evening by a woman who disappeared on me. It hurts to read this trash. The fact that someone can’t be civil enough to extend human respect to another living being sickens me. It is degrading to men that we are treated as if we are not living things. My hatred of women comes from trash like this.