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How Do I Know if He Likes Me if He Won’t Talk to Me?

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I like a guy and it seems like he likes me too, but he would never talk to me. So how do I know if he likes me? Well, here’s what I did to find out. By an Anonymous Kitty

how do I know if he likes me

Have you ever come across a guy who seems to like you, but never really does anything about it?

Well, I had to deal with that recently.

I joined a new workplace a few months ago, and everything was just perfect.

I loved my job and all my new friends.

Everything seemed fine for a while, and about a couple of months ago, I started noticing this silent nice guy glancing at me now and then.

He would look at me constantly *my compact mirror helped me catch him often*, but would look away as soon as I looked straight at him.

And surprisingly, this wasn’t in college. It was actually at work.

Can you believe that a grown man could actually behave like a shy, prepubescent child from school?

[Read: Shy guys who won't ever make a move]

I started talking to his friends a lot more. And the closer I got to his friends, the more he avoided me!

Sometimes, when I would sit close to him, I swear I even caught him sweating and wiping his forehead nervously.

I liked him and his raw innocence attracted me even more. Somehow, he felt like a real virgin when it comes to matter of the heart and to sex. And something about that made him all the more appealing and sexy.

I found out later that he would talk about me with his friends, as his friends would constantly nudge him when I was around. Even when we walked past each other and I waved at him at the cafeteria, he would smile at me sheepishly, and look away immediately. It was so funny and yet so cute. [Read: How to get a guy's attention in any circumstance]

He would talk to all other girls, including my girlfriends, but never with me. After a couple of months of waiting to get him to open up, I was really frustrated. I was angry that my own girlfriends were getting his attention and yet, he was pointedly avoiding me.

I didn’t want to ask him out because I wasn’t sure he liked me in the first place. I was never the one who would make a first move. My ego was too big to get spurned by a guy, let alone a shy guy who didn’t have the cojones to even talk to me. [Read: How to get a guy to ask you out in 9 sneaky ways]

One day, when I was sitting with him and a rather talkative guy at lunch, I asked the talkative guy out for coffee after work. Just to annoy the shy guy even more, I even held the talkative guy’s hand and told him I really liked spending time with him. As soon as I did that, the shy guy looked at me with a shocked and pained expression, got up and staggered away. [Read: How to make a guy jealous and get his attention]

And that’s how I know he likes me!

Shy guys make girls feel more courageous and daring. I don’t know why that happens, but all girls know that.

As soon as I saw the shy guy walking away, I got up and walked up to him, half running and before I knew it, I was yelling at him!

“What the hell is wrong with you? If you like me, why the hell won’t you just ask me out…?!”

He looked at me, grimaced a bit and said exactly what I wanted to hear.

“I like you so much it scares me… I’m afraid I’d lose you if I ever ask you out” he said firmy and yet nervously.

“But I like you too… I’ve always liked you and have waited for so long for you to ask me out…” I said without thinking.

And that was the first time I ever asked a guy out. For a second, I wanted to hold myself back and take back my words, but looking back at the incident now, I’m happy I didn’t. Ten minutes later, we were officially going out with each other. But what a pain the whole ordeal was.

Was it worth it? Yes. Could he have worked his balls up to ask me out earlier? Of course, he could have!

We’re now dating each other, and thankfully though, this guy isn’t as shy as he was at first. It took a few dates to get him to open up. And now, he really can’t stop talking. [Read: What to say to a guy you like to make him like you more]

How to know if a guy likes you

If you’ve ever been in a similar situation where you think a guy likes you, but you’re just not sure, use these easy pointers to decode his behavior, especially if he’s a shy guy who can’t work his courage up to talk to you.

Watch his actions

#1 Does he glance at you often when he thinks you’re not looking? [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#2 Does he talk about you with his friends?

#3 Does he get nervous around you?

#4 Does he behave differently around you than the way he behaves around other girls?

#5 Does he get bothered when you flirt with other guys?

Then, in all probability, he has some feelings for you. How much does he likes you? Well, I can’t say for sure. But he definitely seems to be interested in you.

How to get him to start talking to you

Do you like a shy guy who seems to like you but isn’t making any moves to get to know you? Use these pointers.

#1 Give him a few opportunities to talk to you. Smile at him and let him know you’re approachable.

#2 Get some alone time with him. Walk past him when you’re by yourself and he’s alone. How does he behave?

#3 Initiate a conversation with him. Ask him to help you with something, or ask him about a common friend. [Read: 15 safe ways to start a conversation with a guy you like]

#4 Flirt with him and make him feel special. Be warm when you speak to him, and if he’s a shy guy, you can definitely go overboard and even compliment him or tell him he’s sweet. [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you]

#5 Let the word reach him. Put in a word through a common friend that you find him sweet and dateable. Perhaps, that’ll give him some courage to talk to you.

[Read: Tips to make a guy like you by making him want you]

And that’s how I got to know that he likes me. If you’re ever in a similar situation, try using these pointers. It may just work for you too!


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  • glittergirl
    September 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    Oh my days..I’m in the exact same predicament except in my case the shy guy has started to avoid me even more it’s just getting ridiculous. When i try to initiate some conversation it’s like he can’t get away from me fast enough! One time i approached him and asked him how he was but he couldn’t even look at me in the face. It was so awkward i had to keep it short as i could sense he was feeling very uncomfortable around me.

    I dont think he’s prepared todo anything about it as he’s had many chances to talk to me but he’s too nervous from within. Even if i leave him to own devices, he still wont talk to me. Infact he gives all his attention to other girls but when it comes to me he just doesn’t want to converse. He doesn’t realise that when he does this it makes me feel like he doesn’t want me at all. I’m in a no win situation because i can’t even approach him and tell him how i feel because he already runs a mile as soon as he sees me :(

  • glittergirl
    September 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    Is it really normal for a guy to avoid you like the plague if he has feelings for you?! He’s started to make me feel alienated.

  • October 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    hey girls! so im a sophmore in high just moved from greece last year… i have a ?? …lol :) …so this guy at my grade always looks at me and when i came back from greece one week into school i switched one of my classes 1st day and he was in my class i also sit infront of him .. so 2 days later the teached to him to share a book with me and he was trying to show off at me he was telling his friends he has to work now and his friend was acting smart so his was like “why are you trying to show off to the ladies” and showing at me with his eyes…. from then on he always asks me to help him and i always catch him looking at me ..he also gives me a calculator and brings p my papers so i dont get up sometimes…. btw all the girls think his cute and his popular even tho he still acts kinda nervous and looks shy when not around his friendsso idk if he likes mee caz im just me !! ..please give me our opinionn !!:)) thanks

  • turntopage43
    October 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    Hiya im a 28 old women. I started college and there is a young guy in my class 10 years difference i noticed he stared and looked at me alot. I did look at him too blushedat him. As the months went by he would do the say looking. Hes never spoke to me before i thoughr i would email him and say my friend said she thought your into me? He didnr say no but he has a gf and i said if u wanna get to know me more just ask me an ill let u know he said not really. An he talks to him girl friends and he looks at me and he smiles at his friends and cheers up. He sits always on a table facing me so he sees me then if someone sits in his view of me we cants see eachother. What does this all mean?? As im getting the feeling he does like me or doesnt?? He also added hes happy taken. But he gives these looks like ill undress us or something?

  • jgirl713
    November 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m 29 and the guy that’s not showing me any attention is a past lover from high school. We recently hooked back up but I am also in a relationship of 8 years with2 children. After the past lover and i hooked up, he had began to limit our conversations and communications. Is he waiting for me to leave my current bf? I think he needs to say something or is he waiting on me to make the first move?

  • Chasingcolours
    November 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Hi. I have a story to tell and it has been bothering alot. So im a shy girl and i think im socially awkward. And theres this guy in one of my class, we know who each others are but we’ve never really talked. Jst for a sentence or two when we had to work together in class. And the weird part is that im a party girl i go out almost every weekend. So is him i guess…? Idk . But the group he hangs out with go out alot thats how i met him outsiide of school. So we met once at this halloween party. I was goin to get a drink at the bar and he was standing there . I walked to te bar and then he started saying hi and stuff and so i was like “i didnt know u party” eventho i alrd know haha. Anyways so we talked a bit about his sister shes my friend. And thts it. Convo ended that night. I made out with this guy, and he saw it as well.

    So jump to the the passed saturday. I met him again at this club, well it was his friend bd so they went out and celebrate. My girlfriend who hangs out with that group called me to join her so thats how i came to meet him tht night. So this is how it all started: im not sure if hes drunk or not; the guy approach me and started begging me to dance with his friend , the bd boy … So i was like what?! No way i kept rejecting and gave him a big NO. Then he was like “i hate you” (jokingly hopefully) . Guess what he sais next: “then can u dance with me?” I was shocked so i said NO. But i actually wanted to dance with (i did not want to look like a cheap slut whom he could dance/hookup with whenever because he alrd saw me making out with another guy at halloween party) so then i rejected him. He also unbutton his shirt for some funny reasons LOL. He kept on approaching and asked my girlfriend for help and told her to come and ask me if i want to dance with him again and again. I kinda wanted to at the end so he came to me and we danced for a bit. His friend called him and told him(i think) that they had to leave. Without saying bye he jst ditched.

    On monday , which is today, first thing in the morning, his sister came to me and she went like “i know the story u and my brother danced” i was like yea he was soo drunkk (i thought he was) but then the sister said “noo he was nst tipsy” day went by him and me had a class together. It was so awkward due to the fact that we didnt alrd talked before saturday nite happened. But it felt even more awkward since we danced. Im not sure about this at all but i feel like he was blushing. We met glance once then i looked away i was too shy (he smiled i think) then nothing happened.

    Just to add on to that, this guy im talking about, in my opinion has been looking at me quite alot. And once we worked together and talked he blushed.

    I couldnt stop thinking about him now idk why:( i think i might b falling for him. I dont want to end up being hurt again this time. I hav no confidence and im really shy i dont kno wat to do…plz help??

  • fallen angel
    November 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    Yes, I have a huge problem with men like that. OMG! these men become inpatient, upset, and think that I can read their mind. I am going through a medical issue and these men expect me to just say ” Hey how is it going! Not happening !! Oh my Goodness. Wow, I just have one thing to say to them, they will Never ! get anywhere with me. Then, someone else will beat them to the punch then they can have the pleasure of “Kicking Themsleves In The Ass !!!. I am just being honest! Approching me and breaking the ice would be a wise thing for them if they are interested in me.

  • piyali
    December 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    hi i m piyali 23 years. i m studying MBE .i met a boy some months ago .during our fresher”s meet there is a tradition that girls have 2 give red rose 2 senior boys any one they like. i gave to most shy boy of our senior class. when asked y i gave him rose i told that he is so sweet and quiet.he felt happy. he started calling me after the meeting.actually he doesn’t talk with girls much.one day he passed by me.my friend was also beside me.she burst out laughing as she thought he won’t talk with me.sometimes when i am with my friends he just smiles.just few days ago i was about to go 2 my class he was standing at the corner.he kept staring at me.his friends were also standing besides him.one of his friends shouted “hey you why are you looking at the girls.”?.we (me n my friends) laughed a lot.whenever he passes by my classroom looks back everytime. i don’t know why he behaves likes this?

  • Geizel
    February 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I studing nursing,i met him a year now,we are friends,i love him ,i have done thing to show much love but have not told him yet,he like me friendly but have not made any attempt to propose love,am patient ,i think he is shy.

  • Rebecca
    August 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    What a great story :) :) :)

  • No Name
    October 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Right, I’m NoName! (You do not need to know my real name and or age…)
    So I have this massive crush (it’s more like a infatuation really) on this guy in my class. I’m not sure if he likes me or not because I’ve been looking for the signs indicated in the story/topic this page is about and he had shown some of them. So, I thought “Oh cool. He likes me back!” But then I also started noticing the same sign (acting differently) when he was talking to other girls.

    Anyway, I have come to a conclusion. He’s just an all round nice guy.
    Let me just list some of the good qualities about him:
    • He is sweet
    • He is sporty, but not too sporty
    • He is HILARIOUS!!
    • He so amazing smart
    • He is good creaming EVERYTHING (and I’m not joking!)
    • And these really made the deal – he hates clowns and loves bacon.

    So to some up he’s the complete package. But, I’m really worried I’m gonna end up in the friend zone again.

  • Evans
    October 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    You know, i can’t stand your self righteous bullshit story.
    You talk much shit about guys, not having “balls”..etc., but yet you yourself say
    “My ego was too big to get spurned by a guy”.
    So basically you are a judgmental hypocrite.
    You close by saying how you basically USED some other guy like a doormat to make the first guy jealous. You are literally a piece of crap and you absolutely don’t deserve a real “nice guy”. You tell guys to grow balls, yet you don’t Grow a Clit.

    GROW A CLIT and YOU ask men out, and stop criticizing men for not doing what you fail to do. Men are sick and tired of rejection. It gets old and you can’t seem to understand this, because as you say, your EGO is TOO BIG to risk even a SINGLE rejection. Never mind the countless rejection you expect men to take while you sit on your throne judging them. We also don’t like basically “chasing” some female while her nose is buried in her cell phone talking to two other guys, nit picking and choosing who SHE wants.

    F. You.

    Sincerely

  • Debra
    October 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    Oh and to answer your question glittergirl. It means he does not like you! Get with the program. Duh!

  • Shy Guy
    November 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    Debra, I really hope you could read this:
    Well, i was in a situation kinda like that. Except i had a genuine affection for that girl. Actually, let me rephrase that – i loved that girl with all my heart. I am not exactly a prince charming – 5’9″, 165 lbs, speak with an accent, wear glasses (or contacts) – more like a nerd, so all my life i’ve been treated like sh*t by girls. Guess that’s normal for north america. We were working in the same lab at university, getting our degrees together and i simply fell for her personality, for her ‘let me help you’ attitude (to be honest she is not good looking in any way). But she was kinda weird – she never asked for help, never accepted any, never accepted any compliments or praise. She never accepted even a ‘thank you’ – always something ‘that’s what people do’, ‘no need… blah, blah. We were friends nonetheless, well, at least in my book and i REALLY enjoyed her company and talking to her for hours (that was mutual).
    One time after an important presentation we went to a semi-formal event on campus. Day before i went out and got her a present as a sign of my appreciation for all she has done for me (and my affection) – a cute little lotus flower hair clip with her birth stone in it. She mentioned her b-day once randomly and i remembered it – i wanted it to be special even though it was months late. When i came over to her and said hi she just glanced at me and turned away immediately. I started with some small talk but she turned away and took a few steps back. When i moved closer she turned around and walked away. Before that she walked over and greeted other members of our research group. Never saw that coming, considering SHE has invited me to come over to that event for some beers!!!!!
    That was the beginning. Later came more cold silent treatment – would not talk to me no matter what, would leave the room if i was the only person there, would not reply to my emails. I confronted her one last time face to face; her reaction said it all – i left her alone.
    Months later she approached me for no reason, smiling, and started a small talk – how are you, how’s everything going, if you need help with MCD equipment just ask. I was shocked. Just like nothing happened, i mean who does that? So i ignored her, i mean i was still picking up my heart pieces and putting them together. She came over many more times, casually, no ‘sorry’, no excuse – nothing. I ignored her all the way, till she left the group.
    She approached me last time and told me why she did it – it was a bunch of illogical BS right off the top. I just turned around and walked away – i have never been more hurt in my life, and i never told her how i felt about her.
    Now the funny bit – based on time reference, writing style and general situation i can tell that ‘glittergirl’ was that person (99% sure) or she is my ‘friend’s’ long lost twin. Well, at least i learned her side, sort of.

  • Rhianna
    November 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Can anyone please help me ok so there is this guy and I have this real gut feeling he likes me. He will always stare at me and he is always moving his body were ever I go, he also gets really jelous when I talk to other guys but what I don’t understand is why isn’t he talking to me it seems like he can talk to every other girl in the room so confidently and he is not a shy guy by the way but then it’s seems like he just can’t get the courage to talk to me ! I have started the convo a couple of times and when I did he was really nervous and his eyes were actually sparkiling! He also went all red. Then for the rest of the day he was so happy! Then My family had a BBQ and they invited him to with his family anyway so he didn’t talk to me at all he just kept looking the. At the end of the night he said goodbye and have me a. Kiss on the cheek after that he leaned in and just stared into my eyes his eyes were agian sparkiling and he was all red once again then someone walk past and he quickly walked away. What does this all mean does he even like me ? Why can’t he talk to me ? Can someone please answer my question ? Thankyou

  • Kat
    March 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I find this funny, but I’m the one who is taking every measure I can just to avoid the shy guy. It’s better that way…

  • Valérie
    March 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    Can Someone can help me? I’m 21 years but I don’t look like. I look like more younger, Iook like 16 are 17. Almost every day I see this gay, He is a gym teacher. when I see him I can stop to look at him it’s like a needness. But he looks at me too. he has beautiful bleus eyes. I’m telling to myself if he looks at me maybe it’s because he likes me but I’m not sure. what can I do ? I’m shy so I’m not able to speak to him So what can I do?? please help

    Sorry if my english isn’t good

  • Anna
    April 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    hii… so another shy guy situation at work.
    Its actually ridiculous because it makes me feel like what if he doesnt like me and I’m just being bigheaded. Well these are my suspected signs I’ve noticed anyway. when I arrive at work I can feel him gazing at me, he comes and starts talking to a girl opposite me so he basically has a clear view of me. I lolook up occasionally just so I can catch him gazing… I do sometimes but most of the time I just about catch his eyes quickly moving away from me. he’s never spoke to me..he will only say bye at 7 when he goes home I stay until 10. I spoke to him today just explaining what was happening with some of the documents at the department. the way he looked at me made me feel awkward, its like he was finding it hard to understand me. I felt like I couldn’t speak properly. I turned round to speak to another colleague and turning back to my seat I found shy guy and two other people from the office speaking when I got close they automatically stopped and one of them was trying to change the conversion yet made it so obvious. also everytime he sees me he either makes an awkward face or would say hi really quick and carry on walking away. there was this one time were he sat in front of me speaking to a colleague and literally looked my way as long as he sat there 15 mins approximately. I just feel weird and maybe I’m overreacting maybe he doesn’t like me at all and its all in my head.

  • Anon
    May 28, 2014 | Permalink |

    This guy sounds just like me. There is a girl at work who I have fallen for. All I want to do is talk to her but when there are other people around I just get really shy and can only manage to say hello before I walk away. If I need to talk about sometime work related I have no problems or in the rare occasions that it is just the two of us I’m fine but I still haven’t managed to pick up the courage to ask her out, we get on well but I don’t know if she ‘likes’ me. It is so frustrating, whenever I tell myself “I can do this” I just end up bailing out and feeling really bad about it. This guy saying about being afraid about losing the girl really resonates with me as I feel the same.

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