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Having an Affair with a Married Man

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Are you having an affair with a married man? Married men and affairs are torrid and tricky affairs. And as complicated and tricky as it can seem, it can be a lot worse, says Rebecca Paul as she narrates her own tryst with a married man.

Having an Affair with a Married Man | Married Men and Affairs

Having an affair with a married man or falling in love with him has got to be every girl’s nightmare.

Surprisingly, a woman never really intends to fall in love, it just happens.

And however hard you try to hold back, the slide in most cases is just too steep to resist.

If you aren’t already involved with a married man, you may actually think this is funny and repulsive.

Now why would any woman want to pick a guy who’s already been taken, when there are a million single guys around?

But, hey, hardly any of us practice what we preach, do we?

Having an affair with a married man

There’s something about a married man, or even a guy who’s got a girlfriend, for that matter.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s unavailable that makes him so appealing, but whatever the reason may be, they are.

In my life too, I’ve had my own share of commitment issues, married men and affairs.

Not on my part though. It was just that I’ve always found myself liking guys who were in a relationship already.

But trust me, I really didn’t want that kind of relationship in the first place.

Love, lust and affairs with married men

The first time I ever fell in love with a committed man was when I was in high school. I had a great guy friend who was very sweet and charming, and not to mention gorgeous and a great sense of humor. I never ever looked at him as anything more than just a ‘good friend’, and things between us were pretty.

Eventually, this bloke hooked up with a girl and she started hanging out with us all the time, which was all cool. [Read: How to know if a guy likes you]

A couple of years later, during the New Year party, things got weird. All of us were out together, everyone except my friend’s girlfriend, as she had to spend the night with her parents and cousins who had come down for an extended vacation.

We were having lots of fun,we were quite drunk [Read: How to avoid a hangover] and when the clock struck midnight, I felt someone’s lips over mine and I was pressed. A static moment of darkness and confusion later, I see this guy pal of mine kissing me! He just smiled at me, and started hugging me again. And I just didn’t know what to say or do. The worst part, we didn’t speak about it ever again, and just let it go.

Committed boyfriends, married men and affairs

Nothing really happened, but that incident sort of blew up into a catalyst for a few more things to roll. Each time his girl was around, he was quite normal, but when it was just the both of us, he used to side up to me, a lot closer, clasp my palms, stroke my hair, and basically, all the damn works! [Read: Emotional affairs]

I liked the attention. Anyone would!

We wouldn’t talk about it or plan it ahead. It just used to happen, so it didn’t make me feel awkward, just moist inside my chest. I felt bad about what I was doing, but I couldn’t hold myself back from him. I actually began looking out for opportunities when it could just be the both of us. We even started meeting over in my place or his, on the pretext of doing homework, and a few months later, his pelvis was often moving in synchronized motion against mine.

I am having an affair!

I loved it, and the best part was that we weren’t talking about it, which was ‘cool’. We were just friends. But then, you know how the story goes.

I fell in love with him and asked him to break up with his girlfriend. He didn’t. I was pissed off. But we went on with it. One fine day, his girlfriend caught us. Five years later, I had lost two good friends, one guy and a girl, one screw buddy [Read: How to get a fuck buddy] and one devastated girl pal. [Read: Best friends becoming enemies]

Somehow, I never wanted to be there. I knew what I was supposed to do. I was a nice girl who believed in moral issues and karma.

But the lure grasped me in and took me in too far deep. That incident was my first time, but it definitely wasn’t my last. I had two more affairs with married men over the next decade, and all the time, it was the same story of friends, sweet talk, touch, kiss, make hay. I have a great life, don’t I?

Having an affair with a married man is easy. In most cases, married men and affairs just go hand in hand. They’re always looking out to give attention and there are always girls waiting to receive any attention.

But now I’ve made up my mind never to have an affair with a married man, however charming he may be in the first place, or however much he sweet talks me. But then, I had told myself the same thing many times before, even before I hooked up with my first committed man way back in high school.

I have a lot of things to tell you, if you’re having an affair with a married man or want to know about married men and affairs that are just waiting to happen. But this was just my first story in many to come. Click here to read about what falling in love with a married man can do to you.



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Have your say!
  • Stace
    January 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just ended an affair with a married man and I am married myself. I am really confused and he claims to have been too and after not talking in a couple months. This week, Talked to him again because we do business at work but just haven’t had to deal with him when others have been dealing with him. But I got the call this week and he said he still thinks about me daily and things aren’t any better with his wife but has been a living hell. I said I’ve been ok as me and my hub went on a two week vacation together. I am confused once again but know we will not start up an affair again. Said we should talkas friends once a month or something and he misses e, etc.. I need help and have much more to the story if there’s any way you can contact me….id love to hear your stories and how you got it through to your head this ws crazy

  • ron wilson
    January 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    break off the relationship or end the marriage do not hurt your husband if you want to stay in your current setup. the pain is to great for him i know. ron

  • Joe Teamo
    January 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Herbert Javer had a long term extramarital affair (6 years) with a young black woman who was 26 years younger and had an abortion with his child

  • riley
    February 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I can’t say for sure what you should do. Can’t say for sure if its infatuation at this point? If it is, break it off. You might get hurtb in the long run if you get caught. And even if you don’t, you will be plagued with guilt everyday. Then you will be the secretnin his closet and you wilk live to resent that feeling if you start to care for him.
    If things progress and HE has true feelings for you, tell him to get a divorce then come talk to you. Trust me, its not easy seeing a married, or separated, or even soon to be divorced man. Save yourself the heart ache and have him come clean first and THEN see how much you guys click and how much he really wants to be with you.

  • riley
    February 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just re read your post and saw that you’re married too. Def you need to ask yourself if you’re happy in your marriage or not. This affair may cloud your judgment at this point. So write a list of the pros and cons of your marriage. Maybe there are things that aren’t perfect but that you and hubby can work on together. Don’t give up because you think your marriage isn’t perfect. If you find that you still want the affair despite your marriage being decent, then don’t be selfish. Tell your husband you want out…regardless if its for the affair or not.

  • fionafiona
    March 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    if they doing it with you they will do it to you believe me it all good at first then they move on to the next one

  • emily1987
    April 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been having an affair with a guy for 4 years we used to work together, I met him after my ex had an affair, and the girl ended up pregnant, that was the end . This guy has just made me move on, but im confused and don’t know what todo.

  • trish
    April 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hey, im married and had an affair with a married guy. The sex was so so amazing. After having been monogamous for a long time, it was like rediscovering sex. My husband is no angel. Ive caught him cheating on me a couple of times and i can honestly say that the infidelity helped me to get over it and forgive him. It was like taking back my power. I felt so sexy and confident after!

  • max
    April 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Take it easy

  • rhinny
    April 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I been having An affair with married man for 3yrs and now his wife is away for 3 weeks and he’s been coming ova everyday and its kinda affecting me hard now. Falling for him even more and goin crazy at the same time so I turn to drugs to clear my head otherwise I don’t stop thinking about him.

  • Htown
    April 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    I do not remember when mine started . It’s not all just about sex we have an amazing friendship . however when that happens its wonderful.

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