There’s something about a helpless girl that men can’t resist. But why is that and how can you use this? Find out why men love a damsel in distress. By Ron Roberson
Most women hate a damsel in distress.
Men on the other hand, can’t help falling for damsels in distress.
For men, it’s just inevitable.
Every time a man sees a pretty lass who needs help, a slob of a man turns into a chivalrous knight in shining armor.
Well, at least until he’s made enough of an impression to make her fall for him.
While much of the courting game of dating and falling in love depends on mutual attraction, there’s another secret force that most men and women don’t think about – the evaluation of desirability.
Do you really like a guy or does he really like you?
How badly do you want to go out with this person?
Answering these questions to yourself will help you understand and evaluate someone you meet as a potential date.
Why men love a damsel in distress
While courting, women like to be treated with care and respect. Men like to be treated like men.
When either sex experiences these emotions while spending time with a particular member of the opposite sex, they end up inevitably desiring the person even if there isn’t any mutual attraction to begin with.
Understand this little truth and the whole case of the damsel in distress will start to make sense to anyone.
Damsels in distress make a man feel like a real man
Throughout evolution, men have always been the protectors. Recent decades may have subdued a man and his protective streak, but his urge to be the defender and the protector of all things good still gives him a rush like no other. Why else do you think men love playing gory video games where they play the lead character? It makes them feel good. When a man sees a woman who needs help, he instinctively feels the urge to help her.
Damsels are easily approachable
Men approach women almost all the time in the dating field. When a man finds a situation where a woman needs help, he understands two things. One, he instinctively wants to help her. And secondly, she’s going to be easily approachable and perhaps even grateful for his help. And all men love women who are easily approachable.
[Read: Why men like the chase]
A man’s ego swells when he helps a girl
When a man helps a woman, shows off his brute strength to her and gets thanked for it, he feels good about the whole thing. He feels more powerful and happy, knowing that he was able to impress a woman with his abilities. And when a man feels good about himself, he’ll obviously like the damsel in distress who helped him feel better about himself.
Men stay longer in a relationship when they feel like men
Men like to wear the pants in the relationship. And even if they don’t wear the pants, they want to feel like they do. With their epic egos and innate trait to protect, they want to feel like they are the driving force of the relationship.
When a man is in a relationship with a woman who behaves like she needs his protection and help, he’s always on guard when he’s with her. He instinctively becomes protective and feels more like a man. [Read: How men think about relationships]
Being in a relationship with a woman who wants him and needs him is every man’s fantasy. He feels like a man, he puts on his best behavior, and everyone wins.
But at the same time, there’s a thin line between needing a man and being needy. Get this wrong, and you could do more damage to the relationship than good.
HOW TO BE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS WHO’S NOT NEEDY
It’s easy to be the woman that you are, and yet make your man feel like a real man. Just use these tips, and you’ll definitely make him appreciate you and feel great about himself. [Read: How to flirt with a guy the easy way]
Remember that men love an independent woman. But they feel terrible about themselves when their woman doesn’t need them at all. You may be perfectly capable of handling everything in your life, but ask a man for a manly helping hand now and then and he’ll feel good about it.
Ask him to help you in a man’s job
Are you having trouble carrying something heavy? Do you need help fixing a car, or perhaps a door hinge? Or are you feeling nervous to walk down the street after dusk? Ask a man for help.
A man likes helping a woman when he feels like he’s doing a superior job. Make him assume there’s no way you could ever have made it through without his help and his ego will swell. He’ll definitely feel more like a man around you. And yes, he’ll like you for it.
Thank him and don’t forget that flirty smile
While men absolutely love helping a woman in need, they are put off by women who can’t be grateful for it. If you ask a guy to help you, but don’t really show your appreciation, he may just avoid helping you or may even ignore you. No one likes being taken for granted, especially a man.
Always thank a man and compliment him when he helps you. Complimenting a man with a flirty smile and a twinkle in your eyes will definitely make his heart skip a beat. And he’ll be more than happy to help you out again.
Show off your independence
If you’re dating a guy, don’t play the damsel in distress all the time. Ask him for some manly help when he’s around. But when he isn’t with you, don’t call him over and ask him to help you out unless you really do need his help. By letting him know that you’re completely capable of running your own life effortlessly without his help, he’d respect you more. A man always loves an independent woman who doesn’t really need him, but wants him. [Read: How to think like a man and impress him]
Drawing the line
Ask him for his help and assistance with the manly jobs, but do it only occasionally. He may love a damsel in distress, but he definitely doesn’t need an overdose of machismo. If he sees you carrying something heavy with difficulty and immediately jumps up to help you, he’s still happy with the damsel in distress in you.
But if he doesn’t budge to help you, he’s either a slob or you’ve been asking him too many favors recently. Asking a man too many favors can disgruntle him. So always remember the thin line. [Read: How to seduce a man who's not yours]
Play the damsel in distress and make him feel like a man, and he’ll love you for it. Play needy and make him feel like your slave, and he’ll hate you for it.
[Read: What men like in women more than anything else]
And now that you know why men love a damsel in distress, go on and make some guy’s day. You’ll get the manly help you need, and he’ll feel a lot better about himself. And somewhere along the way, he’ll start to fall in love with you too!
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For almost as long as I can remember, I’ve always been attracted to girls who behave like girls, you know, the kind that smiles and laughs, and behaves in a manner that’s more fragile than guys. But these days, many girls have turned into real feminists who believe a woman should be considered just as strong as men.
Now I’m a guy who’s all for equality of the sexes, and I’ve always believed that. But I just think both sexes are good at a few things and bad at a few things. For men, it’s brute strength. For women, their strength is creativity and dexterity.
Why can’t we stop trying to change the way we were all created and just live our roles to perfection instead of trying to reverse roles. Guys always like helping girls because they like protecting them.
And it’s a big fact that guys are more drawn to girls who ask for help. It’s almost immediate really. If an attractive girl asks a guy for help, he’ll almost always like her immediately, especially if she smiles a lot and is warm towards the guy.
I’m sorry but being a feminist is much more complex than what you are insinuating. I love the fact that my boyfriend is a gentleman, stronger and makes me feel safe, but I am opposed to the patriarchal society and massive injustices women face.
There has been change in attitudes and perspectives and you just have to come to terms with this. It doesn’t make a woman less of a feminist to like being looked after, but then women shouldn’t be passive creatures in order to be seen as attractive.
Wow, this is dead on. This is great advice for females. You see folks there’s something called the YIN and YANG…one has certain traits, with a bit of the other’s traits, and the other has certain traits, with a small bit of the other’s traits, that balance the each other out. So it’s the same in relationships…I, a man with a large number of masculine qualities (direct, honest, confident) and a small amount of feminine traits (sensitive, vibrant, and a good listener), MELT when I see a girl play with her hair, giggle, talk like a baby around me, and ask for random hugs. I in turn, feel big, strong, and protective (NOT NEEDY, CONTROLLING, OR INSECURE) You see, the feminine energy feeds the masculine energy?
So people can talk about the man being big and bad and controlling acting like a neanderthal when trying to act like a dominant (AGAIN NOT INSECURE or a meathead) man in a healthy relationship, but in reality the women is really in control. She’s feeding the man’s energy with her feminine acts.
What do you do if it’s a guy working in a bank? And the only time you see him is when you’re there at the bank? Does asking him for help with bank related stuff count & help the guy want you?
I agree with Tanskii. For me, being strong doesn’t mean I could beat up someone who tries to attack me, but that I can take care of myself. I don’t need a guy to make money, own a home, or be respected in society.
The role if guys has changed as well. I find it extremely attractive when a guy can do his own laundry and cook for himself. If the female chooses to cook and clean in a relationship, that’s fine, but she shouldn’t be expected to because of her gender.
Women are no longer scared and submissive housewives that only raise kids, and men are no longer emotionless money makers that come home from work, kick their feet up, and are served like royalty. That’s the difference. Flipping ones hair and flirting is irrelevant.
Where does that put women who are not materialistic or needy but NEED our men? I have always HAD to take care of things for myself and children because I couldn’t depend on the men. I don’t know how to be a damsel in distress but wish I could
Ive never had a man I could depend on or who was able to “help” me. Financially. I can’t wait until I can be the helpmeet I’m designs to be and not do everything myself and be misunderstood with my “independent” attitude
I can relate pretty much to this. I am an independent woman who has her own life and can take great care of herself but I am also a loving affectionate girlfriend and I am dependent every now and then on my man for some little help and support and he just simply loves that about me! He told me that I make him feel deeply loved and cared, at the same time he wants to offer the same to me because he knows I want and need him
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I really like this boy in my tutor group at school and we flirt all the time, here is my problem
i really want to ask him out but am worried if i mess it up everyone in my tutor group will think i am a weird despo
is there a way i can get him to ask me out in just a few sentences or actions????
I thought some of this article was ok until I got to the “ask you to help him In a man’s job” bit. Any self respecting woman would not placate a man’s ego by rendering herself incapable in his eyes. Likewise, any self-respecting man wouldn’t need such a sorry attempt at an ego-boost in the first place.
Real men don’t want to be falsely perceived at being superior to females. What they do want is to feel needed. Men are usually helpful and protective by nature, and generally don’t like feeling useless, so being with a woman who never asks for or accepts help can be harmful to their masculinity. But you’re talking about ego, not masculinity. Real men don’t help because they think women are weak. They help because they can and because they’re chivalrous by nature.
You know, I find this quite accurate. That swelling feeling of pride at being able to aid a woman is great; Especially when one is attracted to said woman, and wants to be appreciated. It is a great feeling to know you were of some help to the object of your affection – for a true man, it’s not about ego, it’s about chivalry.