If your only requirements around what do you look for in a guy is tall, dark, and handsome, well, you need to expand that list. Not sure where to start?
What do you look for in a guy—good question, right? Ladies, it’s time to bring out the “what do you look for in a guy” list you have secretly stored in your underwear drawer.
Coincidence? I think not. Okay, so, maybe you don’t have an actual list, but, I know and you know, in your mind you have a set of requirements when you’re looking for a guy. It’s completely normal. Now, if you’re looking for someone to be with, there are some core attributes you should be looking for in a guy.
What to look for in a guy
Beyond tall and good-looking and turns you on, what should you be looking for in the next guy you date? Well, I have 10 core attributes you should be looking for in your guy.
#1 Kindness. If you think this is a feminine feature, well, then, I guess not being an asshole is girly, who knows. Kindness is a crucial characteristic that everyone, man or woman, should have. Being kind is being empathetic.
If your man isn’t empathetic, he’s probably a psychopath. You’d find out eventually. You want a guy who brings you soup when you’re sick or has dinner ready for you after a stressful day at work. These little gestures show you they care about you. That’s what you’re looking for at the end of the day—someone who isn’t only concerned with themselves. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]
#2 Honesty. “I was stuck at work and my phone died,” yeah, I guess you accidentally fell on your secretary with your pants down to your ankles too. Men these days, so accident prone. Yeah, come on. You want a man that’s going to tell you that your butt looks big in those pants or that you have a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth.
Not only will this save you from walking around with spinach in your teeth, but it shows honesty. You want someone you can trust, not someone you’re constantly questioning. Think of it like this, when his phone goes off, you want to be able not to anxiously peer over the screen to see who it is. That’s some trust goals.
#3 Ambitious. My dad always told me, it doesn’t matter if the guy makes a lot of money or not. What matters is if he’s ambitious, then you’ll never be hungry. My dad was right. Ambition keeps people going for more.
If your man isn’t ambitious, well, you may find him playing video games every day on your couch or hanging out at the pub with his buddies, which is all fine and well, until you realize you’re not only supporting yourself but you’re supporting him as well. You ain’t no sugar mama. [Read: Avoid them like the plague: 16 types of guys not to date]
#4 Confidence. You want a man secure in his own skin. When you’re around someone who’s comfortable with themselves, you learn to be comfortable with yourself. It’s a win-win. There’s something about a man who walks with his head high that’s hot.
You know the guys from the movies, they walk into a room and everyone turns their heads. Yeah, that guy. That’s the guy you want. Throw him into an awkward situation, and he’ll have no problem handling it.
#5 Reliable. So your boyfriend said he would drive you to your job interview, but alas, he’s nowhere to be seen. Reliability is important. What if you marry this guy? What if he’s late for the birth of your child or doesn’t show up to a family dinner.
Being five minutes late is one thing, but if you start eating dinner without him on a routine basis, he doesn’t respect his time or your time. Wait, maybe he does respect his time, he just isn’t thinking about your time. What do we need ladies? Respect! When do we want it? Now! [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a really great boyfriend]
#6 Generous. Okay, I’m not saying this because I love getting gifts. I mean, I do, but this isn’t the generosity I’m talking about. Okay… maybe it is… a little. But being generous doesn’t mean he lathers you with gifts. Generosity can be he supports a local charity, volunteers, or shares his plate of pasta with you.
There are guys you date that don’t like to share their food, and then there are guys that have no issue with you taking a bite of their pizza. Choose the second guy, the first one has some issues that you don’t have time to deal with. [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]
#7 Assertive. No one likes hearing the word “no.” You have to admit when a guy says no—it’s hot. Other than the fact that it gets our reproductive organs turning, you want a guy who will be able to say no. You know those dogs you see that have their tails between their legs? What you think when you see that? You probably think, “aww, that poor dog, it’s so scared.” And you’re right, it is scared. Now, imagine that dog is your boyfriend. That’s even scarier.
#8 Sense of humor. He needs to be able to laugh and be able to laugh at himself. If you don’t laugh with the guy you like, then that isn’t the guy for you. I don’t mean a fake laugh or a chuckle, I mean a from-the-stomach-eyes-watering laugh.
Men who are serious are mysterious, there’s no debate about that, but they also get boring after ten minutes. Eventually, you just want to relax and be able to enjoy yourself. That means you need a guy who lives life with a smile and see’s the bright side of things. [Read: Yawn! What to do when you are stuck with a boring friend]
#9 Loves himself. This is more directed to his hygiene. You don’t need a Calvin Klein model, even though I know you wouldn’t mind one. We all wouldn’t mind one. But, you need a guy that takes care of himself. Eats healthy, is physically active, you know, a guy that loves and respects his body, mind, and soul. If I’m starting to sound a little Hakuna Matata, my apologies. But, it’s true.
#10 Passionate. Ever had a guy push you up against the wall and start to passionately kiss you? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Passion, baby.
If this passion is directed towards you, that’s ideal, but you’ll also want him to be passionate in whatever activities he’s taking part in. That shows he really loves what he does and puts his heart into it. This passion also pushes you into doing what makes you feel good. I mean, aside from him.