While some may be deathly afraid of commitment, all it takes is the right girl with the right moves to make a man consider staying for the long haul.
Nowadays, commitment has become so rare. These days, many don’t believe in committing themselves to one relationship. No one really believes in exclusivity anymore. In fact, most people think that commitment in a relationship is archaic, a thing of the past.
You might have found yourself to be dating a man who loves you, enjoys spending his time with you, and makes you feel loved back. When you are with him, you feel sparks, and you know that dating him feels absolutely different from the other men you have dated before. All that’s lacking now is the commitment that you crave.
One of the biggest differences between men and women is that women tend to bond on an emotional level with their men sooner. This results in women desiring security and commitment in a relationship much sooner than their partners. And when this point comes, women tend to worry about what they need to do to make their partner feel the same way.
There are relationships that men commit to, and there are those that they don’t. The ones they choose to commit to are the relationships that are founded on the values of love, loyalty and respect. Without these, the relationship is nothing more than a no-strings-attached thing that ultimately becomes disposable. [Read: 10 possible reasons you’re still singe and struggling]
How to make a man take your relationship seriously
There will always be the off chance that the man you’re with doesn’t want a commitment, no matter what you do. And there’s not much we can do about that. However, if you find that your guy is simply on the fence about making your relationship serious, here’s what you should do.
#1 Don’t force him into it. This is usually the first mistake many women make. Women usually badger their boyfriends into making them committed to the relationship. If you force him to commit too soon in the relationship, you might send him running in the opposite direction. The trick here is to ease into it slowly, without jumping at him with your exclusivity speech. [Read: 10 most common mistakes women make in relationships]
#2 Know the art of waiting. They say that playing the waiting game is still essential if you want to have a secure relationship. While there are couples who have been married for over 20 years who have had sex on the first date, there are some who say to “wait it out a bit.” The art of the tease would certainly add some excitement to the relationship. The sex would only feel more right when you truly know that you have an emotional connection with each other.
#3 Make friends with his family. If you are lucky enough to be introduced to his family, you know that he really likes you. Most people would consider family to be the most important thing in the world. A man introduces his woman to his family to ensure that there would be no problems once he finally decides to commit to her.
Take matters into your own hands by practically ensuring that his entire clan falls in love with you. When you have the approval of the family, your man asking you to take your relationship to the next level will shortly follow.
#4 Let him chase you. While you might be tempted to bombard him with many messages and invitations to dates, reduce the frequency of these. Perhaps one of the greatest secrets of getting a man to commit is to not be readily available all the time. Don’t be afraid to play hard to get, and let him miss you. This way, he will realize that you are not completely under his control, and he will put an effort into keeping you.
#5 Be your own person. Men are naturally attracted to secure women who don’t become an extension of their significant others. Have your own life outside the relationship. Make it a point to show him that while you enjoy being with him, you also know how to do your own thing.
Don’t make him feel trapped in the relationship by making him the center of your world because you will only suffocate him. Instead, show him that you are capable of balancing your relationship with him, your time with your friends, your career, and other things you have going on in your life.
#6 Be sure to build trust. Some men think that women only want them to commit because the woman doesn’t trust him enough to be faithful without making their relationship official. Before you even start entertaining the idea of commitment, it’s important to establish trust in each other. When you learn to trust each other, getting into a more serious phase in your relationship becomes that much easier, and it makes a lot more sense.
#7 Work on being a confident and secure woman. A man will find it hard to commit to you if he knows that he’ll be getting your baggage along with a relationship. While some confidence and insecurity issues may take time to be resolved, you at least have to show your man that you’re doing your best to overcome said issues.
Your partner would want someone who is confident in her own abilities and her sense of self-worth. Confident women do not allow people to mistreat them. They know that they deserve respect, and they command it. [Read: 25 ways to keep him hooked and happy in love]
#8 Never manipulate him into committing to the relationship. Using manipulation to get him to commit to you may work out at the start, but when your sneaky ways get exposed, you’ll only be damaging the trust in your relationship. No one wants to get into a relationship with a manipulative partner that they can’t trust. So whatever you do, don’t resort to crying, begging, or even blackmail to make him commit.
#9 Make him feel like he is earning the privilege of being with you. Always remember that you are worthy of being in a relationship with someone who loves and respects you. A man who works hard to ensure that you stay with him is a man who knows your value. On the other hand, when you’re the only one working on keeping your relationship together, you’re only showing him that he doesn’t even have to lift a finger to make you commit to him.
So in order to make him commit to you, you must show him that you’re worth the chase. Let him know that you’re a woman who knows her own value, and that he should consider it an honor to be so close to being in a committed relationship with you.
#10 Know when the relationship is going nowhere. If this is the case, have some self-respect, and know when to walk away. Take a moment to assess the relationship as it is, and not what you idealize it to be. Do you feel secure in the relationship, or does it feel like treading on broken glass?
If a commitment is something that the guy you’re with is definitely not considering, just accept this fact and learn to let it go. It’s far better to be single than to constantly want something from a man who can’t give you what you want. [Read: 19 sure signs you’re ready for a serious relationship]
Commitment is a choice. Either tell him to commit to you or not. You may have dated for a long time, maybe even years. Perhaps it has already come to a point where you don’t know where the relationship is going. When you have reached this point, have a talk with your man. Ask him this simple question, where are we headed?
Do not become so needy and cling to him, or use emotional manipulation to get him to commit to you. Instead, work on being an emotionally secure woman, and be firm with what you want – a committed relationship. It all boils down to a simple “yes” or “no,” but never a vague “maybe.”
You don’t need to jump through hoops to make your man commit to you. All it really takes is to show him that you’re a great catch, and that he’d be a fool to let you go. If he still doesn’t see your worth and the work you put in to be with him, then it’s definitely time to send him packing.
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Colleen Anne Javellana
I'm a quirky and passionate individual who believes in True Love. I live for deep conversations and a good novel to read. I am in love with Life, and I want to ...