There are things guys love to hear, and things that can leave them cold and bitter. Read these ten things girls should never say to guys to know more. By Jake Butler
Have you ever seen your guy’s expression change and go from happy eyes to glassy eyes in a flash?
You’ve probably said something you really shouldn’t have.
Usually, guys are pretty accommodating with anything you say to them.
They’re easy going and can put up with a bit of insults and let downs.
But every now and then, there are a few things that may slip out of your mouth and hurt him way harder than you think.
[Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep any guy interested in you]
You may not think much about your statement, but to your boyfriend, it may feel like a death blow to his heart.
Things girls should avoid saying to a guy
When you’re having a conversation with a guy, you really don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing.
Guys are less easily offended, unless you make him feel less like a man.
If there’s anything that bothers a guy, it’s realizing that the girl he likes thinks he’s not man enough.
[Read: 20 circumstances when a guy will never ever like you back]
Toy with him, tease him and fool around with him, but never make him feel emasculated. And if you do hurt his ego in the conversation, chances are, he’ll take offence easily. And he may even speak rudely or ignore you for a while just to feel better about himself or get back at you.
10 things girls should never say to guys
So the next time you’re with your boyfriend or a guy friend, remember to avoid making him feel less like a man.
Read these 10 things to understand what guys really hate hearing from a girl.
#1 Your friend is so charming! Did you meet a new friend of his who looks gorgeous or is so charming you felt your pants slipping down by itself? Just don’t tell your guy anything about it, especially if you haven’t complimented your guy about the same trait earlier. [Read: 20 ways to make a guy jealous and get his attention]
A guy would find it complimenting if you tell him he has really good friends. But if you compliment his friend with any traits that your own man lacks in, he’d feel more insecure and even get angry with you and his friend.
#2 Why don’t you accept that you’ve failed? Guys are pretty competitive when it comes to succeeding, especially when it comes to work or earning more money. If your boyfriend’s trying something new and you see him failing miserably, don’t tell him that straight to his face. [Read: 15 signs you're a high maintenance woman]
Ever heard of the midlife crisis? Well, that’s what happens to men who feel like failures. If you say it out loud that he’s a failure, he may hate you for it or try even harder and frustrate himself more.
#3 My ex did it, why can’t you? Never say the word ‘ex’ and ‘you’ in the same sentence unless you’re complimenting your guy. Guys hate being compared, especially with your exes. Along the same lines, don’t tell him you’ve had sex with many guys or even compare him and his body parts with your past lovers. You’ll end up working him up and making him feel really insecure in bed. [Read: Does your boyfriend speak to his ex all the time?]
#4 Can you introduce me to that guy? This is definitely dangerous grounds. Unless you’re asking your boyfriend to introduce you to a celebrity friend of his, never tell a guy this line. If you seem excited to meet a friend of his, or end up flirting with another guy in front of your boyfriend, there’s a good chance your boyfriend may walk away insulted or infuriated.
#5 What the hell is wrong with you, you idiot? Don’t ever yell at him or put him down in front of his friends or family. Guys can’t take that very well. As much as they want to impress girls, they still like to be portrayed by their best sides in front of family and friends.
If you ever yell at a guy in public or in front of others, you’ll emasculate him and he’ll spend a lot of time away from you, plotting ways to get even with you for humiliating him. You won’t be in a relationship anymore, you’ll be in a war zone.
#6 I’ve dated better guys. This is a low blow of the worst kind. Of all the things girls should never say to guys, this is one that will definitely end up ruining the relationship forever. It’s almost like a one way street to the end of the relationship with no place to turn back.
If you tell him he’s not good in bed or that he doesn’t turn you on, he may end up walking out of your life. After all, he’s humiliated, bitter and he’s going to remember those words every time he gets into bed with you.
#7 No, don’t… I’ll do it myself. Guys like feeling like they control the direction of the relationship. At the same time, they also like offering help or feeling important by advising you or helping you carry those big bags or fixing your window. If you stop him from helping you every time he tries to show off his protective instincts and strength, he’ll subconsciously assume that you don’t think he’s capable of doing anything important. [Read: Why guys love girls who ask for help]
#8 You’re so immature. This single sentence can change a guy from behaving like a spoilt child and transform him into a sober man who’s walking to someone’s grave. And that’s not a good thing either. He’ll hate you for always behaving like a mum and treating him like a brat. And chances are, he may even try to cheat on you just to feel himself again.
#9 You’re so insecure. Your boyfriend may feel insecure often, especially when you’re a sexy girl who gets a lot of attention all the time. But he wouldn’t want to hear that line out loud, especially from you. It makes him feel helpless and weak. And if you ever say this line in the middle of an argument, he’s definitely going to get really annoyed with you and himself. [Read: Are insecure men ever worth dating?]
And to make sure he proves he’s not insecure, he may avoid you and spend more time with other girls. And when you speak of it, he may urge you to speak with other guys too. And what starts off as a little argument could turn into an ego war that’ll hurt both of you.
#10 We need to talk. The fact that you want to talk about something serious with your guy is a good sign for the relationship. But when you walk up to him and say “we need to talk,” he’ll just clam up or go completely on the defensive because he’ll assume you’re going to accuse him of something bad. [Read: 16 ways to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]
Instead of starting a relationship conversation with this line, try to ease the blow on him slowly by just talking about what you have in mind in an easy manner that would help him open up instead of shutting himself up.
[Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]
So the next time you’re having a fun conversation with a guy, remember these ten things girls should never say to guys and refrain from using it, unless you’re looking to pick a fight!
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Seriously, if any girl were to say these things to me, I guess I’d be annoyed at them, if not furious. Sometimes, it’s easy to say things in the heat of the moment, but these lines, well, they will hit any guy straight in the heart.
It’s like the time when a girl asks a guy if she’s fat, and he says “no, sweetheart, you’re not fat, you’re just fugly!
It’s uncalled for, rude and a bad comment that will never be forgotten.
This is so funny! Lol! Even as I read these things girls should never say to guys, I could recollect a few instances when I’ve used the same lines with my boyfriends.
I’m so embarrassed right now, i’m actually feeling flustered. I actually assumed a guy would think I’m being cute if I called him immature or insecure. I never assumed that he would actually be annoyed with me.
Wow! I would seriously never say any of those things to my boyfriend!
This article is pretty spot-on with a lot of these points. Words can really cut someone down, even if they are the patient non confrontational type of person who wont let you know right away. Some things eat away at a guy’s confidence, and your relationship will have a very hard time recovering if you don’t recognize that your words are creating distance.
I disagree with number 7, the ‘I’ll do it myself’. If a woman wants to do something herself she should go ahead and do it. If a guy is too insecure to deal with the fact that a woman doesn’t need to rely on him for every single thing then it’s his fault.
‘We need to talk’ is also not a bad thing. It shows that she needs to seriously talk to him about something and there is no other way to say it.
Nina: You are so typical of females with limited ability to think beyond their misandrist value system. You automatically go to the “men are insecure” thought process; females are insecure and then they whine like babies when they don’t get what they want. I hope no man is unfortunate enough to be in a relationship or even related to you other than your unfortunate father.
Depending on the guy some of these lines if spoken enough can and will make him lose all love for a girl, i know. i just came out of a relationship where everyday was a new verbal insult.
when you got and saw these things to a guy especially someone who is shy or insecure all you have done is injected toxic material into the relationship and it will poison it.
Zip, you’re an idiot. A man is seriously insecure if he can’t deal with the fact that a woman is a thinking individual able to make her own decisions and do her own thing. “We need to talk” is not nearly as big of a deal as the other things on the list, but it still has some pretty awful connotations. If Nina had picked any other things on the list and chalked them up to “insecurity”, then yeah, I could understand you calling her a misandrist.
The other things on this list though would probably destroy anyone, man or woman, if they heard them enough.
I agree you should try the sweet gentle approach but don’t feel like you can’t be heard just because of your gender. Everybody’s feelings matter.
@Nina : Did you read the whole text? “If you stop him from helping you every time” clearly implies you don’t have to let him help you with everything. It’s just a turn-off if she never lets us help her.
Zip: It is possible to make a point without using “female” as an insult! And yes, some men can be insecure if a woman is too independent. Of course in this case I don’t agree with Nina but only because sometimes it’s good to let others help. I hate it when people offer to help but I accept to avoid conflict and also just so I can learn new methods. What I won’t accept is a condescending tone and being treated like an idiot.
This should go for men as well… and anyone who calls you immature/insecure/idiot or compares you to their ex or asks you to introduce them to their friends is just lame and mean. Dump him/her.
I actually expect to hear this from 12 year olds not adults lol
There’s nothing wrong with “we need to talk” it doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to be accusing him of something. It can mean a lot of things like wanting to break up. Oh, and men do use the same line
Bearing in mind that this is my own opinion, therefor I’m not telling anyone that their opinion is wrong before I get verbally attacked for it. I think this list is a load of utter sexist (not misogynistic, sexist towards both genders) rubbish.
You absolutely cannot lump an entire gender together when you’re giving advice on ‘what not to say.’
The things on this list (while insensitive and yes, likely to insult) are just generalisations and constraints on what someone can and can’t say. If I need to tell my boyfriend that he’s too immature then I will damn well say it because discussing these issues encourages open communication of things that we need to discuss.
In regards to not telling a man that you’ve had too many sexual partners, where’s his warning not to reveal all? I refuse to lie about these things just to stroke someones ego.
As to number 7, I am actually insulted at that. I am pretty independant. In most cases I don’t need help. If someone needs help, they will ask for it. It should not be an insult when someone decides that they don’t want help.
Now, let me reitterate, I am not attacking your opinions, I just want to share my own (strong) opinions.
Extended conversations about ex’s regardless of gender or topic are a no-no (at least for me). Those past relationships are over for a reason, and there’s no need to embellish on how some guy treated you like crap 10 years ago.
Women don’t want to hear about how big my ex’s Tits were and how she liked to have sex in the backseat of my car, and I don’t want to hear about how your ex cheated on you 10 years ago.
Look I was reading some of the comments people made to this woman Nina and I personally think that everyone is out there minds if no body can except that a “woman can be independent”. That very pharse rages people. If your parent didn’t teach you to treat other the way you would be want to be treated then you should lose the right of free speech because you cant act right i can promise you wont talk right.
To the women realize guys wanna be treated the same way way you would want to.
To the men realize women can do stuff on their own most of the time and a women who can’t is too clingy brothers.
And to everyone the main message this is sending is don’t say stuff that would hurt people feeling because if that was said to you it’ll burn.
I definitely agree with the one about the exes. Something I can never understand is why someone would want to bring up a past relationship, especially if it insults your potential mate. Of course, some things need to be discussed, but don’t talk about how much better he was than your current partner. It’s just humiliating. (Unless you mean to do that in which case your a jerk.) And if you have to talk to them about it, try your best to be nice with it okay?
Oh man, these are almost all really bad… Pretty much no reason to say any of these except to make a guy feel belittled. And if there’s one thing guys hate, it’s feeling belittled. If any girl said something like, “I’ve dated better guys,” I’d be out of that relationship in the blink of an eye. Not just for what she said, but even the fact that she would say such a thing.
The one here that I thought really wasn’t obvious was the “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself.” It’s true that guys love to help girls out. It makes him feel wanted and important. I don’t know about the whole, “he will think that you don’t think he’s capable,” angle, but repeatedly denying help from a guy gives the impression that you are trying to be distant from him. A guy might expect a stranger to refuse his help, so when it’s someone he’s dating, it’s a little uncomfortable.
What is the obsession with stereotyping MEN and WOMEN as if they are a completely different species? Just treat people decently and with respect, end of story. Was this website written by a 14 year old??
I read this and immediately wondered why there are no versions of this out there for guys…
Disclaimer: I’ve never been kissed, let alone in a relationship before, but I DO know this much about what guys most likely SHOULDN’T do… :
I was really attracted to one of my guy friends, a fellow high school classmate a few years ago, and one day, he asked me if he should ask another girl out, which turned out to be my BEST FRIEND!!!! I told her about it, and she was confused b/c she was uninterested and I was LIVED b/c I had been into him A LOT for as long as I could remember…
I, practically, was head over heels for this guy and then that happened…I hated it, but my advice that I took away from that situation was this:
NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ask a fellow friend of the opposite sex (or if you’re gay, I guess one of your friends who you suspects that may like you a lot) if you should ask out another person, no matter who it is!!!
Reason: Based on my experience, this should never be done b/c you never know how much a person can be into you. The fact that it was my bestie makes it worse, but hopefully I have voice enough to speak on this, b/c I really do think that this is a faux pas…just sayin’….
to comment on this actual article, I’d say that the other Nina has some of the exact same ideas as me about independence, my “habits” w/ not wanting guy’s help w/ simple up to complex thing I KNOW I need help w/ come from bad and negative experiences w/ the “men” in my life…
nevertheless, I would agree w/ pretty much anyone else in this forum in stating that ANY of these things are detrimental to a person’s self-esteem or image of themselves, b/c NO ONE wants to be told they’re “not sufficient enough for the job” (in this case sex, I’m assuming..)
or that they’re nothing compared to so-and-so…it’s really really REALLY irritating, and unless you’re trying to create a damn psycho who’s obsessed w/ penis size or whatever, then just don’t say shit like that…simple as that.
on another irrelevant side note, I’m glad I found this website. at first reading how to get girls wet from texting sexy questions humored me, but I could get some valuable-ass info from this site, so thanks, authors!!!!
calling a guy immature will make him cheat on you? what? sometimes certain guys need a little kick in the pants to man up. i don’t see anything wrong with that. the same goes for some of the girls that act too spoiled or sensitive. maybe it depends on the context.
the other stuff on this list, aside from ‘we need to talk’ should just be common decency and respect for your boyfriend.
Wow… And guys think girls are sensitive.
1. If a guy can’t handle that comment then he is way too insecure and clearly not good enough for you.
2. If there’s one thing guys need to get over, it’s their egos. If they’ve failed, then they should definitely accept it, not live in denial, improve the situation and or Move on.
3. “My x did it, why can’t you?” Is certainly an immature line. However if a girl needs to raise this question she should seriously reevaluate how she’s spending her time. Never settle for less, especially less than your x… He’s your x for a reason. But if indeed a girl does say this to a guy, I nonetheless think he should offer a good explanation.
4. This line is a little weird. I can see how it would be upsetting if a guy I was seeing said that to me. But if this line is said, it only proves that you need to glow even more. Always be the best, no matter what.
5. I’ve said this line a number of times to guys I’ve dated, without the curse words. People do stupid things and need to take responsibility, if not be aware at the very least. Sometimes, neither or these work out, so an informative address with concern and display of frustration is completely appropriate. Certainly attempt this in private at first, but public humiliation usually drives the
(Cont’d) the point harder. It depends how awful the man’s behavior. Everyone is capable of anything so the worst is certainly possible to deal with.
6. Is similar to 3… A rude comment, but if a girl feels the instinct to say it, then she should seriously reevaluate her time with that guy. Never settle for less.
7. What the heck? If I wanna do something myself, I will do it myself! Again, guys and their egos… Get over it. Sometimes girls like to do things on their own, especially when they have way may expertise in a certain field than you. Get over yourself, man.
8. If he’s acting that way, tell him.
9. If he’s acting that way, tell him.
10. Yeah… This line has a negative connotation behind it. Its got the impending doom of potential breakup and puts the speaker in too much power.
Anyway… The whole list you made is very annoying. You can’t censor all these lines. Some of them are valid statements. Not saying them could prove disingenuous and actual worsen a relationship. Or they should be said for the healthy end of a bad relationship.