Sometimes, it’s hard to read the signs he wants a relationship but is scared to ask you out, or if he’s just not into you. Here’s how to tell the difference.
We’ve all experienced one of these guys. I mean, it’s basically what Sex in the City is based on. Sure, it’s fun to watch it happen to Samantha or Carrie on TV, but when it’s happening to you, it’s a whole other story. You need to understand the signs he wants a relationship but is scared to truly understand what is going on in your relationship.
I know you want to try to get him to break his fear and be with you, but it’s not going to happen. You can’t force him to get over his fear. Unfortunately, it is a sign of immaturity, and you can’t make someone grow up.
The 13 signs he wants a relationship but is scared
I’m only telling you this because I recently had my heart destroyed by a guy scared to commit. Did he like me? Oh yes, he did. Did he want to be with me? Yes. Did I get rejected when I told him my feelings for him? Yup.
Sure, he wanted a relationship, but he was too scared. It’s been two months, and I still can’t bring myself to meet new guys. So, to prevent this from happening to you, you need to be aware of the signs and be strong enough to know when to stop pursuing him.
I know you like him, but if he’s showing these signs, you need to protect your heart.
#1 He’s all about the mixed signals. When he’s with you, it’s amazing, you two click right off the bat. But when you and your guy aren’t hanging out, there’s not much going on.
Listen, these guys are the masters of sending mixed signals. Why? Because they like you, but there’s something that makes them not want to commit. So they hang around you all the time, but then don’t talk to you, blah blah blah. It’s a circular pattern because they struggle between what they want. [Read: How to deal with a guy who is sending mixed signals]
#2 He’s had no other previous relationships. Well, this is a sign he has some issues. If he’s never had a relationship before lasting more than six months, there’s a reason why. He obviously has some commitment issues to sort out.
#3 He doesn’t plan anything with you. He can’t think about the future with you. Don’t even plan for the summer or even next week, it’s too much for him. Everything is about now and this very moment, cut the inspirational yoga crap, buddy.
#4 He’s hot and cold. Katy Perry was right, I can’t believe I said that. But she was. He’ll act like your boyfriend one minute. Then the second he remembers what he’s doing, he closes up and ignores you for a couple days. This happened to me, it was so frustrating, but it works. [Read: The tricky mind games men play that any girl can win]
#5 He’s a master in the bedroom. This guy rocks your world, but that’s because he’s had a lot of experience. Like, a lot. So, that already shows you what type of past he’s had. Also, if most of your relationship activities are sex-related, that’s a good sign that he’s not committed to you.
#6 Parents? What parents? For most of these guys, their parents don’t exist. You know they’re alive, but you’ll never meet them. Bringing you home shows his parents he’s interested in you. It also shows you, that he really likes you. If he doesn’t want that impression to rub off on you, he’ll keep his family far away. [Read: How to make a man chase you – 15 ways to make him fall hard]
#7 He avoids any relationship topics. Yeah, I know, you’ve brought up the whole “what are we” topic and suddenly he’s nowhere to be seen. He doesn’t want to talk about it because he likes how things are now. Why change something that’s comfortable for him? He’s “with” you but not really “with” you.
#8 He’s weighing the risks. He likes being with you, but he’s still looking around and seeing if something better comes along. Why should he commit to you when there are girls left, right, and center? Maybe he views relationships as a risk to his freedom. [Read: Uncertainty in a relationship: The hidden and unexpected dangers]
#9 There’s that awkward silence. You probably had those moments next to him where you feel he wants to say something, but he’s not. You know what it is, but he’s too scared to really tell you how he feels because he’s scared of the consequences.
#10 He brings you to family events. This happened to me. Trust me, this one really plays with your mind. Why would you bring someone to meet your family if you’re not interested in them? Ah, but here’s the thing, he is interested in you. He wants to show you off to his family since you’re important to him. He just doesn’t want the label that goes with it. [Read: 15 mistakes women make when they want a guy to commit]
#11 He isn’t into compromising. The thing about relationships is that it requires compromise. Now, if he’s immature, and clearly it looks like he is, then compromising isn’t in his books. He likes the way his life is right now, he likes his routine. Even though you make him happy, he doesn’t want to create any discomfort in his life.
#12 He had a bad experience in the past. Some people have been really bruised by their past relationships to the point where even thinking of their future partners give them anxiety. Or it could also be that he’s not over his ex.
#13 He’s not sure. I hate this reason because it’s stupid. He’s not sure, I mean, how can you not be sure? You either want to be with someone or not. But apparently, as I discovered, it exists.
I’m not sure if the “I’m not 100% sure” excuse exactly means that because I do believe that you know what you want. However, there are obviously other factors he includes in that. Maybe there’s something about you that he doesn’t like, some issue you two have had, etc.
If you see more than two of these signs he wants a relationship but is scared, in the guy you like, you need to take a step back. Maybe then, he’ll be the one to pursue you for something serious, but if not, you move onto the next guy. Hello, Tinder.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...