How to Handle your Man’s Ogling Eyes

How to Stop your man from staring at others

Do you constantly find your man staring at other women when he’s around you, at a restaurant or when you’re at a club? What should you do? Find out here.

Click here to read the introduction: Does your Man always Stare at Other Women?

Are you serious about him?

Well, this is your call now, really. Are you serious with this bloke of yours? If it’s just a ‘little-crush-I-have-on-him’ kind of thing, then don’t bother. Enjoy the moment, have fun with him. Go out for movies and those romantic dinners. Let him stare at others, and don’t stop yourself from staring at other men either.

But on the other hand, if you know that this man is the one for you, and you can’t think of anyone else replacing him, then it’s pretty dense. You need to do something about it. You will have to sit down and tell him about how you feel. Make it clear to him that you don’t appreciate his stares and glances at other women, not at least when you’re around.

Is he really leching?

There’s a thin line between leching and staring. And it’s just as thin as the line between disapproval and jealousy. Ask yourself if your man is really leching or giving the girl with the mini skirt an appreciative glance. To make it simpler for you, leching is obvious and shameless, something like stopping in the middle of the street and turning around to get a better view. And staring is just that, staring… maybe with a bit of appreciation.

Let’s admit it. We know that men can’t take their eyes off a pretty face, or a hot body. Any attractive girl would naturally turn heads. It can be a pain in your backside when your man ogles at other women, but surprisingly it can have a mesmerizing effect on your man’s body parts too. If your boyfriend indulges in ogling every now and then, even after repeatedly reminding him, then it’s up to you to either accept it or move on.

However, if you’re out with a girlfriend of yours and you catch him leching at her or sizing her up, then you know he belongs in the trash bin at the back of the restaurant!

Make it clear to him

Now this calls for some composure and restraint. You may want to choke him or gouge his eyes out, but hold that thought. Do tell him that you don’t like it, in a calm controlled way, and this is best not told right after an ogling incident. We’re already stereotyped as nagging mammies and we don’t need to be one. So tell him in a reasonable tone not to be so obvious because you don’t like it.

You’re not being silly or childish, he is! And don’t start a screaming match or an ‘I’m-not-talking-to-you’ act. It’s not going to help you anyways. And don’t carry any emotional baggage along with that line like “I know that girl looks better than me, that’s why you’re staring at her!” Just stay in control and get the point across in a clear manner.

Click here to continue reading: How to Stop your Man from Staring at Other Women

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29 thoughts on “How to Handle your Man’s Ogling Eyes”

  1. Bill says:

    Actually there is another perspective – one I learned from my parents (specifically my mom) while growing up.
    Women and men who are secure in themselves and their relationship can and are completely cool with their partners checking out other people.
    This article sounds like you don’t trust your relationship – how about pointing out the hot chick?
    Ask him to point out hot guys (common ladies, you know you look also!).
    Women eye-ball just as much as men do – let’s not be hypocrites about it.
    And if you aren’t secure enough to handle this – do your own work, don’t penalize your partner.

  2. chris says:

    why do you even care if he looks at other women? why do you reason that your man is not in love with you because he admires the appearance of another? Is he going to trade you in like a used car? If he felt that way about you do you think you are preventing him from doing it by getting angry at him? Is your physical appearance the reason he is with you? If it is than you will always have that problem. because there is always someone who is attractive out there. Should he turn the tv off every time your twilight movie has a shirtless guy appear? come on people grow up or buy him a pair of sun glasses.

  3. Sandwich says:

    You obviously have issues. Men look, get over it. There really is no need to ruin a good relationship because a man functions the way he was built to function. Sure, it’s a useless feature we have built into our systems but it’s not going to go away anytime soon and fact of the matter is; some men have it more than others.

    Perhaps you have never heard of words such as libido, testosterone,… these words are not made up, they uncover decades of evolution and in fact, they are why YOU EXIST ON THIS PLANET. If men thousands of years ago didn’t feel the need to reproduce, the human species would have simply gone extinct.

    So now tell me, would you rather not exist at all, or have your man give in to his natural urges? Making him suppress them is as horrible as you make it out to be for you. You might as well cut his nuts off.

  4. Hi says:

    Oh yeah very helpfull!!! (NOT) …if u have a problem with men staring well just talk to them about it…yeah very helpfull…thank u so much…why didnt I think of that????? ..shesh….men are like animals they are not faithful never will be….so get over it!…

  5. Free says:

    MEN ARE NOT MORE VISUAL THAN WOMEN! This is the dumbest myth ever… They process visual spatial information differently than we do… When they look at other women…their dopamine levels go increase…it feels good… that’s it… It’s disrespectful. My boyfriend does this to me a lot.. I asked him to stop.. He denies it… I say it’s okay to glance or look… but to watch them and turn your head back is rude.. He even did this to me in Africa…a vacation I gifted for us due to my new job where I was making good money… he denies it and say i’m insecure… I’m not insecure. People say I’m beautiful – who even cares …. I can’t believe I said that…but still I don’t feel inferior. The point is it’s dishonorable.

  6. Samantha says:

    OK men, think about this – suppose you’re trying to be her hero and all of a sudden
    she chooses another man to be her hero – get it ???? Do you feel in adequate ????

    Don’t look at other women when you’re with the one you love !!!!!

  7. Terrible analogy says:

    Samantha, that’s a VERY flawed analogy…
    Even if your man stares at other women, he’s still going out with you, talking to you, looking at you 99% of the time. His attention is still 99% on you.

    In your analogy however: the girl is actually choosing another man to be her “hero.”
    That’s like having your man not only stare at other women, but breaking up with you on the spot to ask other women out.

    Do you see the flaw in your analogy? A man *staring* at other women is NOT the same as a girl *choosing* another man.
    The CORRECT equivalent to a guy staring at other women, would be a girl staring at other men (duh!). Why didn’t you use that analogy, instead of blowing it out of proportion?

  8. assured says:

    As a woman with the gift of looks I have to say the immature women that must say things to make themselves feel better over facing the reality are WRONG!!! A real man will avoid a second look or a long glance let alone a stare at another woman other than the one they are supposed to be not just faithful, buy true to!! I come across plenty of respectfully me that know how to be faithful! Instead of flattering me, they make it clear they are not available! Pay attention secure women, you’ll see with your new viewed eyes that your man is one out of not so many as you think, PIG! And while your “security” let’s him “appreciate” other women around you, just imagine what he is “appreciating” when your not, but then again, you knowing the truth would only make you think back on the fact your “secure” and the pigs that real secure women complain about isn’t your man!!! Haha, get a new hair style, treat yourself to some new clothes that will maybe make you really feel secure!! Then once your man was happy with your looks, maybe he will stop “appreciating ” mine!! Get your pig in line miss “secure”!! To say you feel pretty and secure when your man is giving another woman attention you are a broken soul that should convince yourself that you can do better instead of thinking your just a “secure” woman.

  9. Gana says:

    It is disrespectful to the person you are with plain and simple. That is how I feel but check this out. I enjoy playing pool a lot. I asked my man to go because he said he liked to play also when we were first starting to date. All the guys eyes were on me. I didnt know this I was following the game and analyzing how to improve my shots.He told me this. Guess what? He did not want to go again, Yeh, I guess he was insecure.

  10. katherine says:

    I.usually don’t have this problem. But if my man looks at another girl, its no big deal unless he gets up and asks for her number. Really? Looking at others doesn’t mean anything.

  11. Fortune says:

    Take it from a guy. If a girl looks at another guy, the guy will also be looking at the the guy the girl is looking at. If the guy knows he looks good because he went to the gym or got a new hair cut, he won’t think anything of that guy and might feel even better about himself. Now in the reverse, if the guy looks at a hot girl, the guys girl might look at the girl in observance of what makes her guy look at another girl. Instead of thinking, man I need to work out so my guy looks more at me, the girl points the finger at the guy and labels him. The same you a girl labels a guy for looking at other girls, a guy labels his girl for not taking care of her body. The only thing is the guy won’t ever express it verbally so he uses his eyes. Get the clue and take better care of yourself women. If you are smoking hot, the guy will be always observing you and will let you walk ahead of him so he can check you out and will open the door for you to take a closer look at you.

  12. Steph says:

    It doesn’t matter how “gorgeous” or “in shape ” you are. Men will almost always look at another woman because she’s different and considered a “mystery” or a “better chase.” It’s sad, and I definitely disagree with it, but that doesn’t mean it will change. Also, some men tend to have the mentality of “if I can get a girl THIS hot, maybe I have a shot at an even HOTTER girl!” Be careful. Trust your instincts. I am a professional bikini model and I run into SO many men who seem to want to keep their options open. Nobody will have their looks forever. If a man is going to check out another woman in front of you when you are at your prime, how will he react if you try to have a future and grow old with him? I think it says a lot about a man’s character (or lack thereof) when he stares at other women in front of you.

  13. wishywashyinDC says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and live together, we enjoy many of the same interests and we laugh all the time, he has many qualities that I admire, ogling other women is NOT one of them. He looks zoned out and will lose his train of thought, and be really obvious about it. I told him I was annoyed and he was shocked because I have no problem with porn. I thought acting huffy or staring at attractive men might get him to notice how pissed off I was, it didn’t. I told him that I whatever he does when I’m not around is his business, but when I’m in the car it comes down to respect, period. Of course he had excuses and called me insecure, but now I won’t drive with him if I don’t have to and it’s causing a bit of a problem and I can’t wait for the cold weather so there aren’t scantily clad coeds crawling the streets. It’s sad, but maybe we should move to Alaska.

  14. Brutally Honest says:

    I don’t think it’s testosterone that makes men that way….that is just an excuse so you don’t have to admit you’re wrong. If you truly love someone you don’t need to look at other women just because you see her everyday. Why are women considered crazy because of estrogen then?

  15. kerry says:

    Shortly after going out with my man (now my husband!) I caught him ogling another woman. I told him that I found it hurtful and asked him not to do it. The next time I saw him letch at some girl I said nothing at the time. later that night, when we were in bed, I snuggled up to him and took one of his testicles in my hand. I asked him if he remembered what I had told him about looking at other women and how I had found it hurtful, and squeezed his testicle fairly hard; not enough to cause him real agony, but enough to make it ache for an hour or so. I told him I would do this to him every time I caught him looking at another woman until he learned his lesson.
    I suppose it took about 6 months and quite a bit of testicular pain before I managed to wean him out of his habit but I can report that it worked really well and he no longer ogles!
    It’s actually quite fun to administer punishment to your partner in this way because it makes him respect you more and the intimate process of “making it feel better” brings you closer,often leading to a satisfying lovemaking session.

  16. Stella says:

    If American people weren’t infantilized into passive aggressive hedonists by the baby boomers, we wouldn’t even have this issue. Men of my grandfather’s generation didn’t lech about the way that baby boomer males and gen x males do. I am also noticing the younger generation of males are cooling off from this as well (thankfully). It does NOT make you insecure or jealous as a woman to take issue with this. If this is just a guy you are dating, and not marrying or cohabitating with, then I agree to let it be. However, think twice before moving in with or marrying a guy like that. It may be better just to date until the fire burns out, and then move on. It’s a big sham that “men are hardwired” to be this way. In fact, many men’s rights movement activists resent this conclusion about how a man’s brain is closer to the “animal” brain than the female brain (how could any sane guy consider this a compliment?).There is no conclusive evidence that human beings are hard wired to mate in any particular way, and it seems we choose how to set up our societies and households. Right now, we are fed constant sex by media and entertainment. We are all being “wired” to be obssessed with stupid things, so there is a good chance that before entering into a long term relationship, some bad habits may need to be ironed out. Marriage and cohabitation is not an instant rewards program. It requires work and some discipline. Kicking a lech to the curb might be a smart choice. Don’t be a victim. THAT is what is insecure. Just going along with a “don’t ask don’t tell” situation just for the sake of not being labeled jealous or insecure IS insecure in and of itself. Finding a guy that either doesn’t lech or at least learns to QUIT doing that is worth the wait. “Men crave variety.” Okay, whatever. Can you not get that variety from your wife? Buy her some nice panties, role play or maybe request cosplay. Also realize that leching is often a tactic used by guys ON PURPOSE to MAKE YOU INSECURE. Sometimes it is called “triangulation.” Don’t fall for the BS that tries to normalize this destructive behavior, girls. You could one day find yourself crying in your pillow one day saying, “I’d rather take a beating than this.” It’s easier to heal from injuries than emotional pain. If you really ARE okay with your man looking at, or even having sex with other women. Good for you. That is your choice, but if you think it makes you less “insecure” and “less jealous” (aka superior), can you go somewhere else to feel superior? We women who make a different choice in regards to this matter have heard enough from you. As far as I am concerned, you can just consider it a lost cause, and I am okay with that, as I see no reason to care what you think about the fact that I expect honor and respect from any man, with whom I choose to share living space. I prefer not to be your victim.

  17. Radwa says:

    When I see my man looking at other women, I never get angry or even talk to him about it but I do exactly as he does and I look at the first hot man I see, then he starts to notice and you know the rest 😉

  18. Timothy says:

    I am a guy who used to sneek looks at other woman OFTEN. The bottom line was my girlfriend could not seal the deal because in the back of my mind I knew I compromised with her looks, and she had no interest in improving her looks, I think due in part to
    her lack of a sex just was not important to her. Funny that it bothered her that my eyes wandered, but made no effort to keep me at home. We were just not ment for each other.

    Now, my wife has stunning looks, a sex drive, and yes I do still glance, but it is entirely different. Now more like a constant AFFIRMATION that I chose wisely and my wife holds her own compared to the other women I observe. I admit, before it was a disrespectfull stare backed by my dissatisfaction, now just normal glances.

    I like the comment above, if your man is STARING, he is not happy with your looks, and it is not a mature position to say “I am secure and don’t worry”. You should worry!

  19. Katrina says:

    I think you nailed it Timothy. Although, I would like to add my perspective on this because Stella touched on something important too.

    I had a boyfriend who would try to manipulate me in this way. He would do what Stella has suggested, where he would stare obviously and make lecherous remarks to get a rise out of me. In a sense, he felt the need to manipulate me into feeling insecure because he felt insecure himself. I loved him and stayed with him way too long. And so I can blame no one but myself. He turned out t be a lying cheating dirtbag – long story.

    I am a happy, confident person and i do take care and pride in my appearance and we had sex all of the time and he told me I was beautiful all f the time. He would act out often when men paid attention to me. I am not openly flirty but I am friendly. Once his manipulation in it’s various forms started to flourish I, although heart broken, walked away and never looked back.

    I’ve had boyfriends that have looked and have even commented on a woman’s beauty and I’ve agreed wholeheartedly because it was obviously true and not in any way disrespectful. They would quickly forget and continue treating me like the woman that they love. So Timothy you are right also. What women have to watch out for is first to realize there own self-worth, be confident and be sexy because you are confident. Beware though of the men that stare and comment to the degree that you are left feeling icky. These men actually don’t respect you, or they are insecure and need to make you feel the same. If you think a man is staring because you are unattractive then dump him and go work on yourself because insecurity is unattractive.

    Peace and Love

  20. Cynthia says:

    My boyfriend will stare at other women when we go out to eat. He suddenly will start grabbing his junk and I notice he gets a boner & starts getting nervous. It really hurts me because he can’t keep his eyes off of woman. I need some advice . Is this normal ?

  21. Sue says:

    Speaking maturely to an ogling husband does not always work. I have tried, and my husband threw a public fit, embarrassing and humiliating me. His way of ensuring that I never “nail him in the act” again.

  22. george says:

    my best friends are engaged to each other and have one of the greatest relationships I have ever witnessed,she means everything to him and she’s probably the most gorgeous women we have both ever seen but guess what….. he still stares and looks up women on the internet probably more then the average guy, its natural but to be honest its kind a double standard.

    She’s casually brought it up before about how it makes her feel and he tells her he’s working on it, but the best Ive ever seen was when we were all at he gym and he was looking at this other girl working out, his girlfriend noticed and didn’t say anything, but when the other girl walked away he looked back and saw 3 guys ogling his girlfriend and it pissed him off to the point were he wanted to leave. She asked him why he was so mad and he said it was disrespectful for those men to be looking at her when she’s with him.

    She rolled her eyes and said not as disrespectful as it is to look at other women while your there with your girlfriend, and proceeded to tell him that the girl he had been looking at himself probably had a boyfriend as well and that shut him up completely. The cherry on the cake? her walking past one of the trainers there that looked like a movie star and smiling back at him when he smiled and said hi to her

  23. Menaredumb says:

    Men are lame ass baby liars who most of these men on here are to selfish to take blame for what they choose to do on purpose the perfect analogy for it to finally sink in to all you restarted effects out there ITS LIKE THE WOMAN YOU LOVE IS repeatedly continuously saying your PENIS IS SMALLand compared to other fine they are with you cuz they love you but your penis is not as good as her xbf or any other man for that matter I think if men find it perfectly normal to put us woman down in such a manner it’s about time us woman take away their manilihood and make them feel as completely worthless as they do to do wak up you stubborn fool can’t have your cake and ice cream too

  24. sara watts says:

    My boyfriend looks at other woman all the time and i hate it especially when him and the other woman smile at each other..its such a horrible feeling..but i think.ill get you back by looking at other men smiling at them but when i do this he dosnt see it:(!!!i do get jealous weve all been there iam sure…i think its horrible and disrespectful..but sometimes woman can be just as bad as men….:/

  25. Hotstuff says:

    Well, my boyfriend is quite a bit younger than me but put it that way- I am out of his league. Despite that he checks out every moving female object and his social media page is full of boobs and other stuff, although he tries to scroll fast in case Im next to him! Haha! And of course he tells me Im beautiful every day and our sex life is great.
    Anyway, I did mention it to him that I feel uncomfortable when hes scanning other women, but he did not get it. However, when I turn heads he gets angry about it.
    What do I do? Instead of winging about it I decided to teach him a silent lesson- Ive returned to gym to work on my body that is already, must admit without bragging- is a natures gift. He will have to live with the fact other men will see me working out in tiny gym clothes. Oh and also, Ive started staring at every more/less attractive Jose when he is around. And then when he complains, I will purr in his ear ‘but baby, they can watch but they cant touch! And I love YOU, not those too muscular guys’. How about equal rights, guys? Handle this!

  26. Mat says:

    If he is watching at other girls he’s just in need of little thrill. So why, girls, can’t you give that thrill to him? Flirt with your guy when he starts staring. Kiss him like you did, when you two fell in love with eacht other. Promised: He will immediately stop staring and concentrate on the feelings and the emotions you share. Try it out cauze guys feel love by being/getting kissed.

  27. guliegirl says:

    Stella you are amazing

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