If you have your eyes set on a new man, but you’re not completely sure how you’d answer “do I like him?” these 13 things may help you decide.
Sometimes our minds play cruel tricks on our bodies. We spend an entire month fawning over someone and crushing on them really hard. Only to wake up one day and realize you never really liked them at all. So we’ve put together questions to help you decide – do I like him or not?
It can be really hard to tell if you actually like someone when their presence makes your heart skip a beat. It may seem like it at first, but it can be tricky to realize your true feelings for them, or if it’s just a ridiculous crush that you’ll wake up and forget about one day.
Liking someone versus finding them attractive
There are a lot of us unable to tell the difference when we really like someone or when we just think they’re REALLY good looking. Some might say it always starts with appearance until you get to know them better.
While this may be true, the confusion makes us get into a relationship with someone we really don’t care for at all but just find cute. When you really like someone, you actually don’t pay much attention to what they look like. To you, their personality is attractive.
Things to consider when you start thinking, do I like him?
If you’ve been gossiping about this guy to your friends and asking them, “Do I like him?” then you’re already in a bit of trouble with this guy. If you’re confused yourself, chances are there are certain things standing in your way.
If you really want to figure out if you truly like this person or not, consider a few things first. These 13 things help you discover if you truly like this guy or not.
#1 Think about why you’re confused about it. The fact you’re questioning your feelings for this person is enough reason to have reservations. Normally, if you like someone, you REALLY like them and that’s that.
If you’re debating whether or not you have feelings for him, think about why that is. Are you just starting to like him and the feelings aren’t that strong? Are you unsure because you don’t know him that well? Figuring out the truth behind your own questioning helps you find out if your feelings are real. [Read: From crush to companion: The 12 stages of intimacy]
#2 Make a list of all the things you like about him. This is a great exercise when deciding anything really. By getting your likes on paper you’ll be able to pinpoint the qualities you like most about him. If those are all things pertaining to his looks, it’s safe to assume you’re only physically attracted to him.
#3 Have you got to know him at all? Have you ever sat down and got to know him at all? Do you know his likes, dislikes, morals, and even some of his goals? If not, then you may not even have grounds for liking him.
#4 How long has this maybe crush been going on? There’s a difference between a crush that’s lasted a week and a crush that’s lasted for a couple of months. If you’ve been crushing on him for a VERY long time, you probably have real feelings for him. If not, give it some time and see if the feelings pass.
#5 Does he compliment you? This is something not a lot of people think about. If you think you like someone but you’re unsure and they often compliment you, you could just like the fact they compliment you, and nothing else about him. [Read: Does he like me? 18 signs to decode his body language]
#6 Are your friends pressuring you into liking him? The truth is, your friends influence your “feelings” in many ways. Meaning they manipulate you—not on purpose—into thinking you like someone because they think you’ll be great together.
If your friends urge you to go for it even if you feel unsure, be careful not to like him based only on your friends thinking it’s a good idea.
#7 Are HIS friends telling you that he likes you? You may also be influenced by some of his friends and not even know it. The funny thing about our brains is we always like people who seem to like us.
That being said, if his friends are approaching you and telling you he has a crush on you, then your mind may get the idea that you like him ONLY because he likes you.
#8 Are you completely over any ex boyfriends you’ve had? This is a tough question to answer because a lot of us THINK we’re over someone when we really aren’t at all.
#9 Have you ever even talked to him? You’ll be surprised how many people are convinced they’re REALLY into a guy and like him a lot that have never even spoken to him. If you’ve never talked to him then you don’t actually like him.
#10 How do you act around him? Whenever he’s around, are you able to just be yourself or do you act like a completely different person? If you’re forcing yourself to act like someone you think he’ll like, then you might not actually be interested in him. When you have to be someone else, you’re not allowing your true self to feel for him.
#11 Can you picture yourself with him? Have you ever truly pictured a relationship with him? Can you see yourself in a real relationship, going through all the ups and downs with him?
#13 Without anyone else influencing your decision, would you want to be with him? Without thinking about your friends or his friends or anyone else, would you want to be with him? In a perfect world with no outside influences, would you want to spend your free time and perhaps your life with this person? Your answer to this tells you all you need to know about if you really like him or not.