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Do Guys Like Shy Girls and Find Them Attractive?

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Being a shy girl is no disadvantage if you know how a guy’s mind works. So do guys like shy girls and find them attractive? You bet they do! By Keith Brown

do guys like shy girls?

When you’re a shy girl, life can be a bit of a confusion.

All the girls think you’re too shy.

Some guys avoid talking to you.

And the ones who are close to you think you need to start interacting with people more often.

How does life feel as a shy girl?

You may think you need to be more like one of your girl friends who finds it so easy to talk to anyone she wants to.

[Read: 15 really easy conversation starters to talk to any guy]

But you know what?

You will overcome your shyness soon, when your mind’s ready for it.

After all, it’s just your social anxiety acting up. You feel like you have nothing important to add to the conversation so you just shut up. Or perhaps, you’re afraid people will think you’re stupid if you speak too much.

But don’t worry about it just yet.

Just have fun and don’t change your life for anyone unless you want to.

And when it comes to dating games, try to look at it from a guy’s perspective. You’ll be pretty pleased with yourself for being a shy girl.

Do guys like shy girls?

Shy girls attract guys like moths to a warm flame. But not all shy girls have the grace and the ability to do that.

Being shy isn’t a curse. It’s more like a wall you build around yourself. And as long as you know how to give the guy you like a good peek at you from behind your high shy walls, you’ll have him and every other guy clamoring for your attention all the time. [Read:How to get a guy's attention in any circumstance]

Many outspoken girls may tell you that guys hate shy girls *they’re probably jealous*. In reality, guys don’t dislike shy girls at all. They find them mysterious and totally appealing.

In fact, many guys actually dislike dating girls who can’t stop talking. Being shy is an advantage. Use your shy side to your benefit and it’ll do wonders for your love life.

Reasons why guys are smitten by a shy girl

Want to know a good reason behind why most guys love a shy girl? Well, I’ll give you 20!

#1 Shy girls are like a puzzle box. A guy would never know for sure if he’s doing the right thing while trying to impress her. This makes the chase more challenging and guys love that! [Read: Why guys love a chase when it comes to attracting girls]

#2 Shy girls can be intimidating. Your shyness can be confused with cold arrogance, especially when you look pretty. This may scare several guys off from talking to you, but the great guys will always want to know you better.

#3 Shy girls are mysterious. They’re unpredictable because their emotions can’t be read easily, and this makes every guy try so much harder to please you.

#4 Shy girls look cuter and more feminine. And any guy who’s loaded with testosterone loves a girl who behaves like a graceful girly girl. [Read: How to be graceful and elegant in 10 easy steps]

#5 An outgoing girl with too much going on in her life can make a guy feel insecure, especially when she’s always surrounded by other guys. On the other hand, a shy girl takes her time to interact with new guys and that makes her boyfriend feel more secure and loved.

#6 Aggressive girls are better as friends. A guy expects a girl to be different from him. If a girl behaves aggressively like a complete tomboy around a guy, he may never even notice her as a dating potential. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back]

#7 Shy girls almost always appear innocent and sweet. When a guy has a conversation with a shy girl, he’ll feel more drawn towards her innocence and fragility.

#8 A shy girl who’s not so shy in bed is every guy’s dream. Do I need to explain this? If you can be a shy girl everywhere else, but turn into a wild cat in bed, he’ll probably end up breaking down in happy tears just to be dating a girl as awesome as you. [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually about a girl]

#9 A guy feels more protective around a shy girl. Guys always have a protective streak in them. When they’re with a shy girl, their protective instincts kick in stronger. And that makes them feel better about themselves.

#10 Guys find a shy girl’s body language and facial expressions more endearing. A shy girl can mesmerize any guy when she’s talking to him. Talk in a soft, low voice and don’t worry about sounding shy. Any guy you’re talking to would probably be smiling wide and staring at you like a kid staring at candies through a window display.

#11 Fewer shy girls. Let’s face it. There aren’t many shy girls in the world. And that makes you all the more desirable. Most guys like shy girls, and when there are so few shy girls out there, you’d be more desirable than any other kind of girl.

#12 A shy girl’s awkwardness makes her more attractive to guys.

#13 Guys like being in control of the relationship. Even if they’re not directly controlling the relationship, they at least want to feel like they’re the one holding the reins of the relationship. And shy girls don’t have a problem with allowing the guy to feel more powerful in the relationship.

#14 Shy girls seem more trustworthy, vulnerable and innocent, which makes any guy fall more easily. And quite frankly, a girl’s vulnerability can be more appealing than any other aspect when it comes to attracting guys.

#15 Guys feel more comfortable talking to a shy girl because they feel like you won’t constantly oppose them all the time just to prove a point. This makes them feel more comfortable around shy girls.

#16 Shy girls are like a box of mixed chocolates. Shy girls keep a guy interested for a lot longer than other girls because the guy would constantly want to know more interesting things about her. And it does take a while to get to know a shy girl a lot better. [Read: 30 sexy ways to keep a guy interested in you all the time]

#17 Relationships last longer with shy girls because you and the guy you like would take more time to get to know each other, which can build a stronger bond.

#18 Getting to know a shy girl better always makes a guy feel special because he’ll be one of those few people who actually knows her well.

#19 Shy girls make guys feel more romantic. Shy girls bring out the manliest of a man’s side. A guy will do anything he possibly can to keep a shy girl feeling happy. And he’ll constantly try to look for cute ways to make you laugh or give him that romantic blush.

#20 A shy girl speaks less which makes a guy focus more on her facial expressions and body language. And by doing that, he’ll find her more attractive because he’ll focus more on the finer details that make her more unique and beautiful. After all, don’t subtle expressions and cute gestures make someone more memorable and cute?

Things a shy girl can do to appear more attractive

Just being a shy girl itself can do wonders for your love life. But if you want to use your shy side as an advantage and appear even more desirable, use these subtle and yet obvious tips.

#1 Don’t change. Don’t try to behave like you’re bold when you’re talking to a guy you like. He already likes you for who you are. You may end up sounding rude or giving mixed signals.

#2 You don’t have to talk. Don’t try to please others constantly by mumbling anything that comes to your mind. At times, it’s better to just play to your strength. Stay quiet and answer when required. You’ll make any guy work harder to impress you. [Read: How to flirt with a guy without flirting]

#3 Confidence. Being shy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be confident. While having a conversation with a guy about something you’re well aware of, speak confidently while making your point. A sudden burst of confidence always makes a shy girl more attractive.

#4 Learn to say no. If you don’t like something, just say no. You don’t need to explain yourself. It’ll make the guy work harder to please you because he’ll be afraid to offend you.

#5 Try to relax and don’t be aloof. You know the guy is trying to impress you, so help him out without feeling nervous or awkward. Just smile warmly during the conversation and he’ll fall for you in no time. You don’t even have to say too much as long as you smile to reassure him that you’re having a nice time with him.

#6 Dress in a cute way. It’ll accentuate your personality. Having a shy personality may make you appear cute and appealing. But nothing accentuates it better than attire and behavior. Learn to behave in a cute way all the time, and you’ll truly be a cute girl who’s worth taking a bullet for. [Read: 25 ways to look cute and melt a guy’s heart]

#7 Don’t be poker faced. Try to be more expressive in your gestures and facial expressions. It’ll make any guy melt when he’s talking to you. Guys focus more on the facial expressions of the girl while flirting with her. Smile coyly, tuck your hair behind your ear, blush and let him know you’re enjoying the conversation with him.

#8 Ask for help. You may be shy, but now and then, work your courage up to ask a cute guy for some help. Guys love assisting girls they’re interested in. It’s their way of pleasing the girl they like. So give a guy you’re interested in a chance to play the knight in shining armor in your life, and he’ll spend a lot of time thinking about you. [Read: Why guys love a damsel in distress who needs their help]

Times when a guy could get annoyed with a shy girl

# Being shy may be an integral part of your personality, but if you don’t start opening up with a guy even after several interactions or dates, the guy may just end up getting bored because he won’t see any progress in the conversations.

# When you’re always helpless and needy. Guys like helping the girl they like, but there’s a thin line between asking for help and becoming clingy. Don’t overstep that line. [Read: Signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid ever becoming one]

# You don’t speak your mind ever and constantly expect the guy to read what’s going on in your mind.

# You’re a pushover. You never stand up for yourself. Now and then, a guy likes to have a good debate over something both of you are passionate about. If you agree with everything he says all the time, he’ll just assume you have no spine and get bored of you.

[Read: Subtle signs to find out if a guy is into you]

Being a shy girl does make things a lot easier in the dating game. So do guys like shy girls? No. Guys love shy girls! Just as long as you remember these tips on what guys like and avoid being needy or timid.


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Have your say!
  • Christina
    June 4, 2012 | Permalink |

    This is an amazing article. Great tips. I am painfully shy during dates, so I will take these tips into consideration. Thanks.

  • Kristian
    June 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    this helps a lot! i thought that is was the loud outgoing girls that always get the guys good attention….huh

  • Lilly
    June 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have always been ridiculously shy when meeting new people. Only a few close friends really know who I am and what I’m like. I have always wanted to be a little bit more out going but, that’s just not in my nature. It’s nice knowing that I might be attractive to someone just by being who I am!

  • Caren
    July 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    I love this! It’s good to know that not all guys are into the loud, outspoken girls. Now I can think of my shyness as a blessing rather than a curse. Thank you!

  • Deanna
    July 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    This just gave me hope. I’m literally the most shy girl at my school. There has been this guy that I’ve liked since we were in Kindergarden. He was the only guy that was nice and would taIk to me, he still does that but I always thought he would be more attracted to the loud, outspoken, noisy girls. This gives me hope that he might actually like me. My shyness isn’t a curse, it’s a Blessing!

  • Katrina
    August 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    Wow! This is a really informative article! I’m a really shy person who has anxiety when meeting new people. I guess being as shy as I am isn’t as bad as I thought. (And probably an explanation on why I get asked out so many times…)

  • Lydia
    August 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have this problem and too many guys think I’m shy and cute, and start flirting when I want to just be friends! :)

  • September 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’M shy around guys,this article is so informative & I don’t think shyness as a curse anymore.

  • Pao
    September 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m a guy. And I assure you all of the stuff written above are true. Being shy is a feminine trait. For us guys, it is also a sign you are a nice person.. for some reason at least thats how I think. Because of modern culture of go girl power, or feminine revolution or whatever you call it, this shy conservativeness has slowly been thought of as a bad thing, starting in the 60s.. and every girl wanted to be confident and get out of the ‘conservative girl’ of the 50s. The fact is, its good to be a powerful woman in society, but it really is a very big turn off for guys. I can see an overconfident girl a hallroom away. And whats running in my mind is this ” shes got a bitch of an attitude. Theres no way Im going to date that kinda girl.” Its ironic that this feminism movement that started in the 60s, turns out that it really isnt helping on the relationship side for women. Be shy and be a nice person, thats how we see an archetype of a girl. Guys hate powerful, overconfident women. Its that simple.

  • Arkas
    October 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m a guy & I also assure you girls that whatever written above & Pao said are 100% correct…I love shy girls way way more than the too extrovert, over confident, macho girls…Shy girls are cute & I love their cute facial expressions and innocence…They are more kind IMO & care more…That’s why I find them more attractive than the others…

  • November 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    Guys like a challenge. For many, bashful beauties present a unique kind of puzzle. Sometimes they may be harder to get but it just makes it that much more sweet when you finally open up to us. And as one of my friends said, “Shy girls are great because they save their secrets for you.” Plus a man loves to play the role of protector and having a demure damsel at his side affords him that opportunity. He can feel like he’s holding the world at bay and is providing a buffer against the slings and arrows of the outside.

  • Shygirl
    November 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    Thanks for the encouragement, this whole article is me.

  • Amelia
    December 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    i’m a shy girl, and i just happened to look at this site, and i have to say that i have a guy that i like, but…i wasn’t sure if he’d be interested in shy girls, you know? But reading this has given me some confidence.

    To be honest, i was about to start playing hard to get and not smile as much because he already knows that i like him, and i felt silly just smiling and blushing around him, although he doesn’t treat me any differently than he already does, and he just smiles and gives me attention that i know i don’t deserve. lol

  • TMCLA
    February 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just typing to say that the article has a lot of truth to it, and I speak as a guy. I’m shy and not very confident in myself, and if I managed to find a girl to go out with, a shy girl would be my ideal girlfriend. I think that we would be more likely to have a more meaningful relationship, and we could support each other whenever either one feels depressed.

  • Diana
    March 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    An encouraging article. … but what if you’re shy and you have a crush on a shy guy?

  • jen xx
    April 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow this article is a real confidence boost for us shy ladies! I feel completely hopeless around men in general so to read that being myself IS perfectly fine is a real lovely change; for once I can see my own merits and realise I’m not a complete dead end. Most other articles however preach that quieter girls need to show off more and basically get over it; well it isn’t so easy to do that! The beauty of the author is that they have given real relevant tips and have shown us that we do actually make an impact. Thank you :)

  • Urusigh
    April 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Yep, guy most definitely appreciate shy girls. I know I do. ;)

    Though just so you ladies know, a lot of the guys who appreciate it most are shy themselves, so don’t be quick to assume that a guy who is slow to make a move on you isn’t interested. It can be just as hard for us to be outgoing as it is for you, especially if you don’t know how to let us know that you would welcome an approach.

    (I do find it rather sad for myself that this article is so completely positive about shyness, but the one for shy men basically wraps up by telling us that being not-shy is inherently better. Something of a double standard there.)

  • Anna
    April 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m glad I read this article. Some girls told me that my shyness would turn people off and make me look stupid, but this article shows that not eveyone hates shy girls!

  • April 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    “Diana
    March 4, 2013″

    Then your screwed, sorry, but I was in a situation like that and if you both are too shy to ever talk to each other, how are you 2 supposed to date?

    Just try to be friends first. As a shy boy, I hated getting hugs, but not as an adult, I can’t get enough hugs from pretty girls now. Walk up close to him, say “hello ____”, smile while the whole time you get even closer and give him a hug. He might be timid and shy like I was the first time a female friend of mine gave me a hug, BUT DONT TAKE NO AS AN ANSWER! I actually backed away in fear and she got angry, LOL! I was like OH WOW she really does want to hug me. If he likes you at all, he will want to give you a hug back. Odds are the next time he sees you, he just might hug you first.

    Hugs from a pretty girl can be very very therapeutic and emotionally stimulating to a shy guy who thinks he will probably never have a girlfriend in his life. When you see a shy guy you like, go ahead and give him a good LOOOOOOONG hug.

  • Yuki
    June 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank god…
    Now I know why lots of boys chasing me…
    I think they wanna make fun of me and I always end up running away-hiding from them…

  • Regan Shedd
    July 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you for these very helpful tips I am always shy even around my family but I have a cute face and everything so I am cute while being shy and I have a crush at my school this guy named Tyler Shields I like/love him ever since elementary school we both road the same school bus to summer school and we always talked about ghost stories and bloody mary… We do pretty good about talking to each other and making good conversation but it is about time I step up my game and tell him how I feel… Wish me luck!

  • Steve
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    This article is bs, I have dated a few shy girls and let me say it is annoying! I always am the one who has to initiate everything with them! Yes they like it and go along but I get tired of it fast. My current girlfriend is all over me forward upfront…and I love it. Guys don’t want a girl to be slutty and wild but they at least want her to be open and unafraid to get involved. Shy girls, even if not intending to, make a relationship seem one sided. I broke up with my last gf because of this and she was heartbroken… the whole time I thought she just wasn’t that into me, to late now. Words of warning shy girls!

  • Kim
    November 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Great article! I just learned alot more about myself now, and the advantages I have for being shy. I DO use my shyness as a guard and barrier, but when I get comfortable with someone, I can talk up a storm. Hah.

  • Constantine
    November 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    Totally agree with Steve. Shy girls are an enormous burden, which is why I don’t even bother corresponding with any of them anymore. I always have to initiate and although they may be interested they never suggest an alternative day or time when they can’t meet. Even when you have built a rapport they still flake and show no interest in moving the relationship forward. So unless you have the patience of mother Teresa I wouldn’t waste my time with them. Too much effort for nothing gained.

  • jennifer
    May 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    so Constantine and Steve you both would rather a vain wpman who spends 3 fourths of the day looking at her reflection in the mirror? Girls whom are quiet and happy are much better and usually more mature than the standard demanding vain superficial slut.

  • Md Amir Hossain Shaheen
    July 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I conceived and understood that shy innocent girls means who’s have natural virgin mind and physique!!!

  • Saphir
    August 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    Thank You.

  • Suzie DeNiro
    August 19, 2014 | Permalink |

    Yes this is very true. I once had a extremely goodlooking guy that was interested in me. He was like an 11 out of 10 !!.

    He was also very smart and very very outgoing and popular. I was very surprised he would like me as I am so shy and introverted.

    He was also one of those people that have over 1000 friends on facebook and in real life. Whereas I only had about 100.

    However every time he was around me he would be soft , gentle and sweet and even shy himself. And that made me uncomfortable too because from a distance he always was so popular and talkative around everyone else.

    So yes some outgoing and even popular and good looking guys like shy girls. Sometimes you might find that these guys are really actually shy themselves but they pretend to be outgoing because men are expected to be that way or else they get pushed over more easily than women in life if they are not. Also they might be outgoing but they may have e.g a really shy sweet mom in the background and therefore are attracted to that type of girl as well.

    A lot of actually outgoing good looking guys are mummy’s boys and so actually deep down inside they are looking for a shy, nurturing type. Also a lot of these guys can also get pursued by women that are outgoing and well most men prefer not to be pursued . So to have someone that they can pursue is actually quite refreshing. No matter how much times change ladies, most men (not all ) prefer to be the pursuer .

    Never say never. I always tell women who have a hard time finding a partner that you must always be open-minded. Don’t make assumptions. Above all be friendly always. Men like women that are easily approachable. Also at first you may not like a guy but over time you might get to like him as you know him better. So by being friendly to all guys and not making assumptions you actually maximise your options.

    When I first met my husband it was not hot sexual chemistry but when we got to know each other we clicked very quickly because we realised we had so much in common that now I am actually more attracted to him that guys I found at first to be physically attractive but later turned out to be boring. It is better to have a deep non-physical connection first than for it to start physical and then wear off.

  • David
    September 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    As a guy, I can tell you this article is 100% true.

  • the lovely dragon
    September 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I love you.

    thelovelydragon.com

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