Dating Feminine Men: Is It a Boom or Bust?

feminine men

Move over, Neanderthals; there’s a new breed of men crossing the globe! We’re weighing 7 pros and 7 cons of dating so-called feminine men.

So, you’re tired of dating a string of alpha males and bicep-bulging, beer-toting, scruffy-looking manly men? You know—the type who won’t want to watch chick flicks with you, or that one who, ten minutes in, would start complaining about the dozens of clothes you’re trying on, just looking for “the dress.”

If that is the case, maybe you should broaden your horizons and open up your appetite to a whole other fare: feminine men.

What is a feminine man?

The feminine man is a different breed of man that you can more often find in hair-care aisles than in football games. Also closely associated and equated to metrosexual males, you can recognize a feminine man anywhere, because of his dapper suit, perfect hair, clean-shaven face, and manicured nails.

Aside from looks, the feminine man can also be considered the new Renaissance man, exhibiting sensitivity, culture, and fine taste for everything, as opposed to the manly man, who has a more primal *if not cave man* appeal.

Feminine men takeover

So, what makes feminine men so irresistible to women? Does their primping, pampering, immaculate grooming, and other more effeminate ways turn women on? Here we give you the 411 on why dating a feminine man may be a boon—or a bust.

#1 Going organic?

PRO: If he’s not into organics in the first place, you deciding to take that route—from your veggies to your veggie-based face products—will be no problem for him. In fact, he may love you even more for it! You can both share a bottle of organic exfoliating wash and he’d be happy to go to the farmer’s market with you.

CON: You’re sharing your organic beauty products with him. You see, this can be a double-edged sword; while he finds the products that you use environmentally friendly, all-natural, and yummy-smelling, he’ll want to use that expensive stuff, too. Be prepared to either hoard, or buy those pricey beauty products for two.

#2 Grooming is on lock

PRO: You won’t have to be embarrassed about taking your feminine guy everywhere and anywhere—you can be sure that he looks great all the time. No beer bellies, no five-o’clock scruff, picture perfect ‘do, and always smelling good. Your guy will always look like he walked out of a GQ magazine center-spread.

CON: He takes too long prepping and primping, even if it’s just going to run errands. In fact, he takes WAY longer than you. And once he’s done, your little prince charming often gets more approving looks that you—you, the girl who has her hair up in a messy bun and has perpetually chipped nails. This might make you feel a big insecure and—honestly—annoyed.

#3 Fashion forward

PRO: Again, you can always count on your man to know the latest in fashion. Your very own Brad Goresky *except he’s really straight and he’s also good in bed*, he will never fail to tell you which top goes well with which pants or skirt, or how to complete your look with the perfect pair of shoes. He’ll even complement you, so you both look like you’re red-carpet-ready.

CON: While he knows exactly what he wants to wear, that can pose a problem; he’ll always want to dress to the nines—or at least look great—and this can be expensive. Plus, he’ll most likely draw admiring stares, thereby stealing the spotlight away from you.

#4 Rom-Com flicks, anyone?

PRO: You’ve always wanted a guy with whom you can watch Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion anytime you need a pick-me-up. Well, your feminine guy will not only watch with you, he may even know the dance moves like you do. No more fights on who’s got to watch what on a Friday night—you can cuddle while watching chick flicks together.

CON: Since your man is not really huge on action movies, you have to settle on the same plots over and over when you go to the movies. You can’t watch any of the Marvel movies that you wanted to, because he’d rather you guys watch foreign indie films, or any movie that has Jennifer Aniston in it. Ugh.

#5 “Mr. Sensitive.”

PRO: A feminine guy is more open and expressive when it comes to his feelings. There are no mind games when it comes to him. He may even show you his collection of poems, which he wrote in his teenage years. He’s also very sensitive when it comes to your feelings, making sure you’re fine and happy, maybe even giving you a PMS basket during that time of month.

CONS: Since he’s as sensitive as you *he may even have his own PMS, at times*, you have to tiptoe around him a lot of the time. You’ll always have to watch what you say, because you don’t want to hurt him. Most men will just ignore you if you suggest a lower-carb diet—while a feminine man will immediately implement a no-carb diet—and, perhaps, drag you along.

#6 Diet buddies

PRO: You haven’t actually met someone who counts calories like you. That is, until you met your feminine man. He’s going to be strict with his diet and encourage you to do the same, which is great, so you can both stay in great shape. He’ll even cook you paleo dishes, just so you can both stay healthy and fit. And, if you’re not on a diet, you can have a portion of his meal and he would be glad to give it to you.

CON: He’ll be glad to give you a portion of his meal—but this can also be a disadvantage to you. While he is getting in shape, you aren’t. You’re having more trouble keeping the weight off, especially since you sneak out and have a cheat day without his permission. He doesn’t even make it easier for you, because he lets you eat some off his plate, because he’s on a strict diet *and… well… you aren’t*. [Read: Can’t shed pounds? Here are 8 big reasons why]

#7 Don’t sweat it

PRO: He’s unlike most guys, who are often muscle heads—the type who go to the gym a lot. In fact, you haven’t seen him sweat *does he even?*. You don’t have to worry about having to force yourself to kiss and hug him after a sweaty round of basketball with the boys. He’s always so clean—even prim and proper.

CON: He can’t open a jar of pickles, or a bottle of Perrier. In fact, he’s not handy at all. If a light bulb needs changing, you’ll have to do it. If a faucet gets a leak, you’ll have to do it. If something needs fixing in the house, you’ll have to call in a handyman, because all your guy is good at is manscaping. [Read: Manscaping and what girls want to see on their guy’s body]

Okay, so feminine men have emerged to challenge our ideas of what a real man is, and how they should act. Not so long ago, our idea of an ideal man was someone ultra masculine, with hair on his face, bulging muscles on his body, Budweiser in hand, and a pack of other similarly testosterone-pumped men in his entourage. However, men these days can be found with manicured nails, sleek and clean-shaven faces, manscaped—almost non-existent—body hair, and even a slight touch of makeup.

While feminine men can be seen by some as effeminate, almost non-men, who are pushovers and meek, that is not really the case. If you meet a feminine man or two, you’ll be surprised to see that they can be as dominating as the usual type of man we’re used to. They can be very assertive at work and in bed, as well. Many metrosexuals, such as David Beckham, have found success not only in their careers, but in their family lives as well, spawning gorgeous children and never ceasing to look great in the process.

[Read: Living with a metrosexual man – 10 things you need to know]

Before you brush off a feminine man as being too girly for you, try to weigh the pros and cons as you get to know him. Who knows? He may just be the right guy for you.

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Tiffany Reyes
Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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DISCUSSION

2 thoughts on “Dating Feminine Men: Is It a Boom or Bust?”

  1. Betty H. says:

    Guys, let’s face it that every woman, including me, has a specific taste in men. Mine is men with class. I drool over the likes of James Bond and have loved every single page of “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austin where Darcy appears. The real man for me is a gentleman, he knows how to behave and show his manners and his girl’s needs are on the first place. Perhaps these guys are just fictional characters, but I dream of meeting one. Hope he knocks on my door in a day or two so that I can have who to celebrate New Year’s with hahahah 😀

  2. pigdic says:

    Many gay guys are into masculinity because that’s what men are: masculine. (In general if you’re following.) Some guys like the lines to be blurred. Rather than Tom of Finland extremes in the masculine direction they like going the other way towards more sexual ambiguity. Some even like the lines going all the way over to androgyny. It takes a village I guess. I personally don’t mind how any guy chooses to express himself authentically. That doesn’t mean I want to date it. I am not attracted, on a sexual level, to guys with effeminate vibes. Note, I’m not talking about interests, just behavior and appearance. One of my best buds is effeminate. I knew he was gay before he did. I swear he never wore a “Bro” outfit or had anything mismatched on his body his entire life. But you know what? When he was away at school in Atlanta, he got laid any time he wanted. And he, despite being a big ol’ flamer, is a top. And he never, ever, lacked for a hole to fuck back then. He fucked probably hundreds of guys. So there are plenty of guys out there who like it. I don’t think you need to worry or feel sorry for those types. They do just fine on their own without sympathy or even empathy from us.

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