Having a clingy boyfriend is both annoying and upsetting. Here’s how to make him stop and help your relationship survive his behavior.
There’s really not much worse than a clingy boyfriend. They smother you with affection until it no longer feels special and you feel the need to get away more than anything. And that’s not how a relationship should be.
You should want to be with your man. His compliments and affection should be special and they should make you happy. That’s not the reality when they’re so clingy you can’t get a minute to yourself.
Signs you have a clingy boyfriend
How do you know if you have a clingy boyfriend? Normally, you’ll be able to tell within the first couple weeks. However, if you’re having a hard time determining if his behavior is cute or clingy, here are some signs he’s hanging on just a little too tight. [Read: 10 creepy guy types you need to avoid talking to]
#1 He wants to talk to you ALL the time. Basically, he’s always either texting you, snap chatting you, commenting on your social media, or even calling you. He feels the need to stay in touch at all hours of the day.
It might seem super cute at first but after you’ve established that you’re in a relationship, it should settle down a bit. It’s really only understandable during the honeymoon phase so if it’s been lasting longer than that, he’s just clingy.
#2 He’s all over you – even in public. The PDA with him is at an all-time high, ALL the time. Holding hands and kissing your cheek is usually fine but when he gets super handsy or just wants to make out in public all the time, it’s a bit much. This is a sign he’s a clingy boyfriend. [Read: A guide on public displays of affection etiquette]
#3 You find yourself rolling your eyes at his texts/calls/compliments. Instead of blushing and falling harder for him at every compliment, you roll your eyes. This is usually because they’re so frequent you can’t really believe them. Or you’ve heard them all many times before.
#4 He freaks out if you don’t respond ASAP. If it’s been more than an hour or so and you haven’t responded to his text or call or snap and he sends even more, he’s probably clingy. This just shows how much he needs to be in touch with you. Even if you’re super busy.
#5 He’s all over your social media. And even worse, he gets upset because you’re not commenting on every little thing he posts or you’re not posting enough pictures of the two of you together. Basically, if he’s overly affectionate on social media as well as in person, he’s most likely a clingy boyfriend. [Read: A couple’s guide for posting on social media]
How to help the relationship survive with a clingy boyfriend
Not all clingy boyfriends deserve to be dumped. Some are just clueless guys who don’t want to mess up a good thing. Here’s how you can make the relationship work while also telling him to back off.
#1 Just sit down and talk about it. Just sit him down and discuss that you’re not a fan of all the affection. You like some of it but it gets a bit old after hearing how great you are five times in the first half of the day.
#2 Ask why he feels his level of closeness is necessary. And phrase it like this, too. Don’t ask him why he’s so clingy. That word has such a negative association he’ll probably be upset by it. Just ask him why he showers you with so much affection.
He might say something like, “because you deserve it.” If that’s the case, tell him you appreciate all the love but it’s not necessary ALL the time because he does such a great job of making you feel important to him already. It’s a nice way of telling him to lay off that doesn’t hurt his feelings.
#3 Reassure him of your feelings. The reason he might be so clingy is because he doesn’t know how you feel about him. He could be insecure. Make sure you’re telling him how you feel about him and showing him some affection, too.
Some guys feel the need to compensate for what they’re not getting and that’s why he’s all over you all the time. He thinks that’s the only way he’ll get your attention. So be affectionate and open up about your feelings for him from time to time. [Read: 15 little tips to make your guy feel loved and special]
#4 Don’t react positively to his clinginess. Oftentimes, clingy boyfriends will continue their behavior because they think you like it. Make sure he doesn’t get that impression. You can easily ignore most of his clinginess so he doesn’t get the idea that he should keep doing it.
#5 Help him understand how you feel about it. He’s under the impression that you love the attention he’s giving you. Most likely, he was taught to give that kind of attention to the girl he likes. You need to show him that it doesn’t make you feel loved.
Instead, tell him it makes his affection and compliments seem not genuine. When he’s always telling you how great you look and how much he likes you, those things lose their meaning. Once he realizes that, he’ll pull back a bit. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]
#6 Give him a few chances. This isn’t something he’s doing to be mean or to annoy you. He’s honestly just happy you two are together and he wants to show you that all the time. Yes, it’s a little much and it can be super annoying, but it’s not something you should shut down right away.
Give him a couple chances to fix his behavior before giving up on him and the relationship. Talk to him a few times and make sure he understands everything thoroughly before finally cutting things off if he doesn’t change things.
Having a clingy boyfriend isn’t always a bad thing. Just communicate how you feel about his level of attachment and see if you can work through it. He could end up being a fantastic boyfriend if he calms down a bit.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...