Oh, the lengths we go through to get a guy to like us! But how can we know which methods work and which ones make us fall flat on our face?
Women are used to traditional methods of attracting men – methods straight out of Cleopatra and the Mata Hari’s handbook, that is. But men have evolved. They know how things work and when they are being played.
Ladies, men are no longer manipulated by the traditional ways of seduction that has spanned generations. They still love the chase, but they’re not as determined as they were in the old days. When a man realizes or at least thinks that they have no chance at a woman, they will back off.
Why would they think that? Because you assume that making them beg, jump through hoops and answer unanswerable questions will make them like you more than they already do.
Playing games never ends well. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? Because people, both men and women, have a tendency to stray from honesty and sincerity – which is basically what anyone needs to make a relationship work.
What are the wrong things women do to make guys like them?
Women think that these things are effective because they used to be, and that’s where the problem lies. These methods are outdated. Men are now aware of these, because of its portrayal in popular culture. Even renowned scientists and psychologists are debunking these methods. Why? Because they get you nowhere.
#1 Reverse psychology. Admit it. You do this an average of five times a day with your man. You think that your tone gets through. The context is obvious. Your intentions are laid out on the table. But they’re not.
Men are simple beings who prefer that you say what’s on your mind before they get themselves into trouble. Most women think that admitting what they really want to say is a sign of weakness, but as I said, men are simple. They don’t have enough time to judge you, because they are focused on pleasing you by following EXACTLY what you say. [Read: 10 common mistakes women make in relationships]
#2 Playing really-hard-to-get. This method usually depends on the situation. Some men like women whom they have to work for, while some men just don’t care at all. The problem starts when you go beyond the limits of a man’s eagerness to please you.
When you start rejecting them out of a false sense of power, they will retaliate by actually taking you seriously. They won’t stand for women who are obviously playing mind games or those who blatantly reject them more than a few times. There’s only so much rejection a guy can take. If you like them, then date them! [Read: 20 reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]
#3 Setting traps. Even if women think that this is the only way to prove a guy’s worth, men don’t see it that way. They will resent you when they find out that you set them up for a fall. There are numerous examples of this sort of activity, but the most common one out there is when girls trick guys into cheating. All in all, it’s an effective way to weed out the bad guys. However, doing this to a decent person could very well ruin your relationship.
#4 Making them wait. Guys do not develop better social skills whenever you make them wait for your call, text or arrival. Making them wait is an example of how far women are willing to go to manipulate a guy’s feelings. The only person on the losing end of this situation is you. Not only did you annoy the guy that liked you, you also wasted time that should have been spent bonding with the said guy. [Read: 11 biggest dating turn offs for guys]
#5Testing them. Expecting guys to do something that they aren’t aware they’re supposed to do is not at all effective in making them like you. You might think that guys will go out of their way to please you, but that would not be the case when it’s obvious that you’re testing them. Guys hate being manipulated. It makes them feel inferior. It also puts you in a bad light. Any duplicitous activity is always a red flag. [Read: 10 things you should never say to a guy]
#6 Adapting a different persona. When you hear that a guy likes a specific type of girl, do not go out of your way to make yourself into the girl of his dreams. There is only so much pretending a person can do. Sooner or later, your true colors will start to come out. When that happens, you will not be able to save face, because you’re not even using your real one.
#7 Dressing out of your comfort zone. Whether you’re conservative or not, dressing yourself should be based on your comfort levels and sense of style. Don’t adjust your preferences based on what the media tells you to wear. Guys will see through your disguise when they realize that you’re always being so conscious or uncomfortably fidgeting with what you’re wearing.
#8 Pretending you share the same interests. If he likes sports and you don’t, you should not try to steer the conversation towards that area. You can politely comment when it’s brought up, but acting like you know more than you do will only turn them off.
Guys are very petty about their interests. When they see someone trying to force themselves into their world without the necessary know-how, they will treat you like an outsider. They will quiz you and prove that you’re an interloper. They don’t care if they’re not going to get laid. They just know that you are not one of them.
What should women do instead?
Research suggests that women should be happy with themselves, before they try to get into a relationship. This is because they are more prone to act on the items mentioned above, because of their various insecurities and self-esteem issues.
Unfortunately, that rarely works. Women want results, and they want it now. Working on yourself takes a lot of time, and most people don’t have the drive or energy to do so. Still, if you don’t at least try, you will never succeed in your relationship goals.
The only way you can make a relationship work is if you forget about all your hang-ups and just live in the moment. Stop trying to change your partner. Stop trying to change yourself – at least the good parts anyway. Even if it feels difficult, there’s no one stopping you from changing the way you think.
Forget the mind games, the tests of love and the fiery hoops of relationships. Ask for what you want. Demand it. Make sure that it’s within reason, and that your partner is willing to make the same sacrifices as you are. Be aggressive in getting what you deserve, but be understanding when it comes to other people’s needs.
Sooner or later, you’ll see that your relationships have become better off for it. Men will adore you. Women will admire you. Why? Because you’re honest and sincere. Like I said, those are the only things you need to get everything you want and need in life.
Now that you know what not to do, you can start looking for Mr. Right without having to play games. Don’t be afraid to show how you really feel. Guys will appreciate your honesty and will be more likely to return the sentiment.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...