How to Get a Guy to Talk to You: A Guide for the Shy

how to get a guy to talk to you

If you suffer from shyness and can’t even dream up the guts to talk to a guy you think is cute, here are 10 ways you can get a guy to talk to you!

Some people waltz right up to a person they find attractive and flat out tell them. Proceeding to ask them out—without an inkling of fear or uncertainty. Other people, however, can’t even look at someone they like because of their debilitating shyness.

So how do the shyest of the shy snag a significant other? Well, they mastered the art of getting a guy to talk to them instead of being the first person to break the ice. This way works better because they already know if the other person is interested, due to them talking first.

Get a guy to talk to you: Let him make the first move

If you’re like me, then you usually watch your crush from afar. Daydreaming about a time when you push all insecurities aside, stride right up to him, and tell him how you feel. But then you snap back into reality once they start turning in your direction. [Read: The truth behind why guys like shy girls and find them totally attractive]

If you’re shy and can’t find the courage to make the first move with your crush, let them do it! But in order to get a guy to talk to you, you’ll need to follow some of these tried and true tricks. They’ll get him approaching you in no time.

#1 Give him eye contact. Nothing says, “I’m interested in you,” like eye contact from across the bar. If you really want him to come talk to you, then you have to show him you’re available and into him. If you’re never looking in his general direction, he’s not going to think you’re approachable. [Read: The all-in woman’s guide to making eye contact with men]

An even better tactic, glance over at him and then look away once you catch his attention. Doing this multiple times will send him the message that you’re checking him out. That’s an automatic in for him, and he’ll take that opportunity.

#2 Smile at him. If you’re just blankly looking at him, he might just think you’re spacing out or looking at someone behind him. Show off your adorable smile and draw him in. It’s a fact men are more attracted to women who smile than those who do not.

So show those pearly whites while you’re making eye contact. It’s basically a big red arrow over your head telling him to make his move. It also makes you look more positive, and any man would rather approach a happy looking woman than someone who’s frowning. [Read: 12 things guys love about a girl beyond her appearance]

#3 Wave at him. If the smile and eye contact isn’t enough, wave at him. If you really want him to talk to you, the wave is extremely effective. I know it is hard for the extremely shy.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell who someone is looking at, and he could dismiss your gazes thinking they’re meant for someone else.

Be cute with your wave too. Don’t just flop your hand around in the air. Give him a little shy wave once you know you’ve got his attention. Just a little wave of your fingers is enough to have him excusing himself from his group and coming over to talk to you. [Read: The art of getting a guy’s attention in any circumstance]

#4 Talk to his friends. This trick is for those who aren’t quite as shy as others. If you don’t think you can handle talking to him right away, just say something to one of the friends he arrived with. It doesn’t have to be a pick-up line—he might get the wrong idea. But if you just butt in and mention how great the music is to his friend, he might take that opening to talk to you as well.

Be cautious with this plan of attack, because it might be misinterpreted. Don’t give the man you’re after the wrong idea that you’re interested in his friend. And I’m sure he doesn’t want to be a cock block!  [Read: How to get a guy to ask you out in 9 sneaky ways]

#5 Walk past him sexily. Every woman should master the art of walking past a man in a fashion that makes him turn his neck and watch you go. Find an opening and walk slowly but powerfully while swaying your hips. Right before you pass him, draw your eyes up to his and wait until they connect.

Then walk past him briskly so he catches a scent of your perfume. If he doesn’t follow you like a lost puppy dog after that, he might just not be interested in pursuing you because this tactic almost always works. [Read: 18 physical turn ons that arouse a guy instantly]

#6 Drop something on purpose. This technique is almost as old as they come. Playing up the old damsel in distress is a great way to get a man to approach you. Simply walk past him *preferably in a sexy manner* and drop something important as you do.

One way to make this look not-so-obvious is to be taking something, like your cell phone, out of your purse as you walk by and have something else pop out with it. Make sure it’s something important enough that he feels the need to chase you down.

#7 Buy him a drink. Again, this is a rather bold option, even if you’re not talking to him, but, in my experience, a really high success rate.

If a guy you fancy is at the bar and too busy chatting with friends to have noticed you, ask the bartender to send him over another drink, on you. He’ll obviously ask the bartender where it came from and feel the need to thank you in person. This not only gets him over to you, but it shows him immediately you’re interested in him. He couldn’t ask for a better opening!

#8 Make yourself available. A guy isn’t going to approach you and talk to you first if you’re surrounded by five of your girlfriends. It’s intimidating and nobody wants their pick-up lines put on display like that.

If you’re going out for the purpose of meeting guys and want to get a guy to talk to you, only bring one other friend with you. This eliminates his struggle of getting past the friends in order to get to you. And for the love of all that is right in this world, do NOT bring a guy with you. [Read: 13 charming ways to be a lot more approachable to guys]

#9 Look great! Nothing says, “I want guys to talk to me tonight,” like dressing up in your best attire. You want to look hot if you want a man to approach you. Sure, a guy’s interest in you for your looks may seem superficial, but the first impression they have of you matters.

So don’t go out in just jeans and a t-shirt. While some guys might think this is attractive, the majority are going to think you’re married or not looking to meet men. Throw on some heels, a sexy red lip, and your tightest dress. [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look way hotter instantly]

#10 Look like you’re having more fun than he is. It’s human nature to want to be included in anything looking fun. If you’re playing darts or another game at a party, make sure he knows how much of a good time you’re having.

He’ll want to be a part of the fun and if the fun looks to be you, he’ll talk to you. If you want to get a guy to talk to you, this great technique for the shy allows you to focus on having fun and not so much on the cute guy. But at the same time, you’re still attracting him.

[Read: The secret art of attracting men in a way they just can’t resist]

Being shy and trying to talk to new guys that you think are attractive is one of the hardest things out there. With these tips, you’ll be drawing them in and get that guy talking to you first!

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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