Why Don’t Guys Hit On Me? 21 Secrets to Be Way More Approachable

Do you often wonder ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’ The reason could be something really simple. You just need to learn how to be more approachable to guys!

why don't guys hit on me be more approachable to guys

Contrary to what you may think, getting hit on or appearing approachable to men isn’t really a game of chance. And contrary to what most women think, you don’t have to do something outrageous or provocative to get a guy to hit on you, or walk up to you and say hello! You simply need to learn how to be more approachable to guys and the rest will be easy.

The truth is, if you understand a guy’s mind and what goes on in it before he approaches a girl, you could make any guy want to strike up a conversation with you within five minutes! When you understand that, you’ll have your answer to the question of ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’

[Read: 20 secret things about guys that all guys wish girls would know]

Why don’t guys hit on me?

Let’s imagine this scenario.

Every now and then, you go to a nearby pizza place during your lunch break.

They make great calzone, and you get to cross paths with a really cute guy that seems to share your love for stuffed dough – he’s always eating the same thing you are.

Must be a perfect twist of fate, right? [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

You start frequenting the joint, hoping that you can run into each other enough times. You hope that by the odds of familiarity, he’ll finally notice you.

And if your lucky stars feel rather generous, he may approach you and ask if the seat next to you is taken. Oh, if you could only get him to come and talk to you!

But he doesn’t. And he’s not the only one. The same thing happened with that handsome man in the bar last week, and what seems like countless, countless other men. [Read: 19 magic moves to get a guy to notice you and fall for you]

You start wondering ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to learn how to be more approachable to guys.

How to be more approachable to guys and not seem easy

Do you ever feel like you could do with more attention from the guys around you? Especially when you walk into a new place or a regular hangout and see a cute guy who’s definitely worth a shot? Do you often wonder ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to win the edge over all the other girls in the room, and catch a guy’s eye. [Read: 18 tips to make any girl look pretty and catch a guy’s eye instantly]

1. Look good!

As shallow as this may sound, this is as simple as it can get. To a guy, approaching a girl is all about first appearances. When a guy walks into a room, it takes him less than a few glances to make up his mind on whether he wants to approach a girl or not.

If you dress up well and look good, it just makes everything easier for you and also helps you understand how to be more approachable. [Read: 25 really easy ways to make yourself cuter and melt a guy’s heart at first glance!]

2. Don’t appear occupied

Don’t be too engrossed with your phone or a book, or something else. You may be bored and trying to keep yourself busy.

But chances are, doing that will make the guy who wants to approach you back away. He’ll think you appear too busy to be interested in a conversation with him.

3. Don’t try too hard

Now, this goes against the first tip on looking good, but there’s also a drawback of looking too good for the guy! If you’re a stunner who looks gorgeous, all the guys around you may drool at you or try to sneak glances at you all the time, but most guys would feel too intimidated to approach you!

If there’s one thing guys fear more than anything else while approaching women, it’s the fear of rejection or worse, humiliation!

Most guys may just assume you’re way above their league and they’re not worthy of your attention. Simply put, if you look very attractive, you’ll scare most guys away! [Read: A good looking girl’s confession: Are we really so mean?]

But then again, on the other hand, the only guys who feel confident enough to approach you would be the guys who think they’re worthy of you. Those are the alpha males, the achievers, and of course, the players! You don’t want to learn how to be more approachable to that kind of guy!

If you really want to catch the eye of a shy guy who seems nice but is too scared to approach you, try being friendly and warm to the people around you. It always helps! [Read: The best ways to get a shy guy to approach you and ask you out]

4. Don’t dress too provocatively

Don’t dress up like you have nothing to hide. You’ll get everyone’s attention alright, but the only guys who would approach you are the ones who are looking for a quick one-night stand.

Of course, dressing provocatively would definitely help catch a nice guy’s eye, but only if your look is sensual and not blatantly sexual.

Remember, you don’t have to flaunt everything you have to catch a guy’s eye. If you’re interesting and look pretty, you’ll catch his eye nevertheless! [Read: The most obvious physical turn offs in a girl that all guys hate]

5. Eye contact

If you’re always wondering ‘why don’t guys hit on me,’ it could be because of your lack of eye contact. Glance at him now and then, and make eye contact occasionally.

But at the same time, don’t get too carried away and try to catch his eye all the time. He may just think you’re too easy and not care. [Read: How to make eye contact while making sure you don’t look creepy]

6. The quick and slow look away

There are two ways to look at a guy and let him know you’re interested. And you can use them both depending on what feels comfortable for you. It will also help you learn how to be more approachable to guys.

a. The slow glance

When you’re glancing across the room, look towards him casually and make eye contact with him for a few seconds with a small smile.

And then, slowly turn your head away and look towards something else. This is a more confident and bolder way of letting the guy know you’re interested.

b. The quick glance

And for the quick and coy approach, you could look towards him suddenly when he’s staring at you, catch his eye, and immediately look at a friend or look down in an obvious manner.

Smiling to yourself at that moment will only make you appear cuter and sweeter in his eyes! [Read: 13 subtle eye contact flirting tips to get his heart racing!]

7. Make it easy for him

It’s intimidating for a guy to approach a girl when she’s with a big group of friends. If your idea is to meet guys or get approached by them, try to spend time alone or probably with another girlfriend.

8. Hang out in the right kind of places

Not all places create the perfect scenario for casual conversations. If you want a guy to approach you, pick a place that’s perfect for casual conversations where everyone in the room won’t turn their heads around to see what’s happening.

Coffee shops, clubs, or book stores are perfect places with limitless opportunities for a guy to start a conversation with you. [Read: When will I find love? 20 secrets that will help you find the one]

9. Give him a few hints

Even if you’re in a group and you see a guy you like, make eye contact with him a few times. And when you feel like he’s ready to talk to you, walk away for a few minutes to look around or order a drink at the bar by yourself.

If you don’t give him the chance, you can’t ask ‘why don’t guys hit on me!’

10. Smile

Appear warm and friendly, and your chances of getting approached by guys will rise multifold. Being likeable at first sight can be a huge advantage to any girl who wants to catch a guy’s eye! [Read: How to get anyone to like you at first sight]

11. Don’t appear bored

Have fun and be positive no matter where you are. Positivity draws positivity. And a happy girl draws happy guys who love their life.

If you’re grumpy or appear stiff or bored, even a guy who really likes you may think twice about approaching you because you may seem boring and dull. [Read: 12 things guys love in a girl besides her appearance]

12. Don’t be rude

If you’re rude to anyone, be it a waiter or one of your friends, odds are, the guy who wants to approach you will back away immediately. No one likes rude people, and no guy would want to strike up a conversation with a girl who may snap at him or insult him for approaching her!

13. Don’t hang out with guys

This is a big one that’s something you always need to remember. Don’t ever hang out with guy friends if you want to get approached by a guy. It’s just not going to happen! [Read: Why guy best friends are nothing but trouble]

14. Show him you’re interested

Let him know that you’re interested in getting to know him better. Even if you’re talking to your friend and he’s sitting at the next table, look towards him when he looks at you even as you answer your friend.

15. Show off your coy and girly side

Look at him now and then, and when you catch his eye, tuck your hair behind your ear, look down and smile to yourself. It may seem like a small gesture to you, but to a guy, it’s jackpot! [Read: Moves to attract men in a way they just can’t resist!]

16. Tease him

Walk past him and make eye contact just as you walk past him. Tease him, and he’ll love the subtle attention! To solve the question of ‘why don’t guys hit on me,’ you need to get your tease on!

17. Don’t push it

You’re just embarrassing yourself if you push it too far. Guys aren’t dumb, and if you glance at him a few times or smile in his direction, he knows already that you’re ready to be approached.

Some guys just don’t have the courage to make a move, while there may be a few guys who probably aren’t interested in approaching you whatever their reasons may be *married, dating, gay, coward?* [Read: 15 accidental conversation starters you can use on a guy]

18. Leave your electronic devices alone

Few things scream “stay away!” like constantly having your phone in your hands. It doesn’t matter if you are talking, texting, or surfing the net, it is as if you’ve hung a big do-not-disturb sign over your forehead. The same goes for your laptop or basically any device that you are completely swallowed up by.

The only somewhat acceptable exception is if you are reading an ebook or an article truly worthy of your undivided attention.

Believe it or not, this will show on your face, in your posture, and the general impression you make on people, giving you a more thoughtful and intelligent look. [Read: 25 easy conversation starters you can use with a guy you like]

19. Don’t act like you’re too good to be there

To learn how to be more approachable, you need to drop your airs and graces. There is a very fine line between having good self-esteem and being an obnoxious narcissist. And while we’re sure you know which side of that line you’re on, it’s quite possible it doesn’t appear the same way from another’s perspective.

That frown and those half muttered words with which you dismiss everything and everyone around you can easily be interpreted as the doings of an uptight egomaniac. In other words, not exactly the type of girl guys would line up for!

We’re not suggesting that you lower your standards and settle for less than you deserve. You could, however, work a bit on your patience, like giving a place five minutes before deciding you’re the best thing in it. [Read: Proper social etiquette – 12 rules that redefine modern manners]

20. Don’t appear too easy

There is nothing wrong with going out and looking for a good time. We’ll say it again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have fun, just as long as you know the difference between being a cheerful flirt and easy pickings.

We don’t mean to sound like your grandma and give you a lecture on how men won’t respect you when you’re too easy.

But the truth is, if you throw yourself at guys all over the place, you’ll only end up looking desperate. And girls who appear desperate and easy don’t get the guy they really want.

The great guys that leave you drooling and biting your lip, they like a conquest. Not necessarily having to fight a dragon for the right to kiss the princess, but at least a little something to tickle their male ego and make them feel like they earned it, and beat the rest of the competition to it. [Read: The art of attracting men in a way they can’t ever resist!]

21. Give him chances to catch you alone

So you’re out with a bunch of your friends, dressed to kill, laughing, dancing, and having a blast. To add to all the excitement, there’s this cute guy you think is eyeing you. Ah, what a night!

But why is he not coming over? By now you’re sure you’ve caught his attention and it’s plain as day that he’s interested in you. What the H?

You know how they say there’s safety in numbers? When it comes to flirting, the only safety you gain by never separating from the group is an almost perfect firewall between you and any men that want to talk to you.

Give the poor guy a chance to catch you alone. Go to the bar and get a drink, step outside for a breath of fresh air or come up with some other excuse to wander away from your friends for a minute. [Read: The best tips to look really attractive when you’re trying to get his attention]

If he’s not approaching you, it’s time to take control

And that’s that, your go-to-guide when it comes to the old nerve-wracking question of ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’ By following these tips you’ll also learn how to be more approachable to guys. 

Now that you have your game on, ladies, remember this tiny, little detail – no one ever said you couldn’t go after at guy yourself and prove all of his misconceptions about you wrong.

[Read: How to talk to a guy you like – 34 secrets to sweet talk and make any guy desire you]

If you’ve ever wondered, why don’t guys hit on me, just use these easy tips and tricks on how to be more approachable to guys, and you’ll definitely be able to work your magic effortlessly, without coming across as a girl who’s too easy!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...