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The Big Penis – Advice for the Haves and the Have-Nots

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Is a big penis a gift or a burden? Well, everyone loves a mystery but here’s something all men, the haves and the have-nots, need to know to use it well.

It’s a fact of life that some guys are more gifted in certain areas than others. But that’s not to say that you can’t make the most of what you have EITHER way. When it comes to a big penis, opinion remains firmly divided on the matter.

Some women say size really doesn’t matter, and some will insist, in fairly forthright terms, that it most definitely does. Our best advice for the haves and have-nots? Find the right woman for you and your own particular offering. [Read: What do women really think about your penis?]

Easier said than done, however, and deserving of a different feature. This feature focuses on how to get the most out of your package, whatever its size, in tandem with altering your perceptions, attitude, and approach. Moby Dick or fairground tiddler, read on for our top tips on how and what to do with yours.

Small penis advice for the “have-nots”

Even if you land on the smaller size, confidence reigns! Check out our tips to inject the confidence you need to win over the ladies.

#1 Don’t get hung up on your lack of hang. The worst thing you can do if you have a smaller than average penis? Draw negative attention to it. Most women won’t even bring it up, so just get on with the sexual experience and enjoy it. [Read: Why are men so obsessed with their penis size?]

Looking crestfallen, being apologetic, or displaying any other signs of meekness turns her off far quicker than the size of your member.

#2 Use your other gifts. Believe it or not, a big penis rarely makes it onto the lists of women’s favorite body parts. Eyes, hands, back, and shoulders all beat the male member for what matters, but even these fail by comparison in the attraction stakes against such gifts as good manners and, king of the crop, an excellent sense of humor. [Read: How to make any girl smile, laugh and like you instantly]

#3 As short as long. Some guys consider themselves small based only on the single dimension of length, but girth remains just as important. Most of the nerves causing the female orgasm lie around the clitoris and the first few inches of entry. Make the most of your breadth, and work that lady using your penis and your hips. [Read: 8 best sex positions for men with smaller penises]

#4 Preparation is key. Foreplay is essential in all sexual relationships, irrespective of male or female, whether small or large. If you are under-endowed, then make sure you add a little extra work on the foreplay front, and you’ll never disappoint her.

#5 Frottage. Having come to modernly mean a dry hump, frottage is actually the humble art of rubbing genitals against any part of another person. Use your penis to excite her most intimate parts prior to penetration. Spending a good four or five minutes on the job makes her explode—irrespective of however small you think you might be.

#6 Get fit. If you’re worried your penis isn’t quite up to winning a size war, then work on the rest of your body. Getting buff does a lot more for your chances with the opposite sex than just having a large piece of meat dangling between your legs.

#7 Eat for your meat. Bringing sexual energy and enthusiasm matter in the bedroom. Eating well, in tandem with exercise, helps you achieve both. [Read: 10 dishes to get your sex drive to skyrocket]

#8 The tradesman’s entrance. More of an encouraging thumbs up, if you enjoy a little anal, you have a far better chance of convincing a girl to try it than some guy who’s hung like a fire hose. There’s a big difference between being pleasantly sore and being hospitalised! [Read: Do women like anal sex? Hint: It’s not a yes or no question]

#9 Experiment. Keep trying different positions and sexual activities to see what works best for your penis size. For instance, having your girl lie face down with her legs together and entering her that way increases the pressure upon the penis and compensates for the size difference. There’s always a way working for every penis size… you just have to find yours.

#10 Have fun with it. The writer had a friend who didn’t have a big penis, but he never had an issue getting the girl. The secret? He used his penis size to poke fun at himself, in a lighthearted and fun way, and the women really loved the confidence and emotional stability they felt this reflected. [Read: 23 hacks to be a lot more attractive to women instantly]

It just goes to show how much more emotionally complex women are than us cavemen!

Big penis advice for the “haves”

Even those with a big penis need advice on how to use it to their advantage. Read on!

#11 Modesty, schmodesty! First of all, if you’ve got a penis the size of a gold miner’s pick handle, make the most of it. It’s a rare gift and one you should be proud of. Never dissuade anyone from bringing it up in conversation, and employ it to its full visual impact in the bedroom. [Read: Big balls – the pros, cons, and what girls think of them]

#12 Buy them tight. Trousers that is. As in tip number 11, why hide a rare and precious gift? And let’s face it, it’s fun to see all those eyes popping out as you walk down the main street.

#13 Don’t get carried away. Okay, this is kind of the opposite advice to the other tips, but there comes a point when owning the compliment becomes brash and boasting. That is unlikely to win you any friends.

#14 Keep it in your pants. At least in public. Once your reputation develops you’ll be asked to prove it, but this only makes you look sleazy. As as well as potentially violating some local laws.

#15 Take it easy. During intercourse, go in slowly, lube up if necessary, and don’t get carried away. Women come in many shapes and sizes, both internally as well as externally, and you can do some serious damage if you enter her like a javelin through a doughnut. [Read: Sex god secrets: how to make a girl cum every time]

#16 Prepare for the scare. Some women lack sexual confidence, and some of them might be downright terrified by the size of your third leg. If this is the case, put it away, talk it over, and re-indulge in some foreplay. Sex will just have to happen in its own time.

#17 Don’t neglect the foreplay. Just because you have a schlong like King Kong’s forearm holding a watermelon, doesn’t mean you can forego the foreplay. It remains an essential part of lovemaking and, very often, a woman’s favorite part. [Read: Foreplay done right – the art of really turning her on]

#18 Explore the positions. With a big penis, there are all kinds of different advantages you find through different positions, especially in regards to locating the G-spot. Try a few out and see what works best for your chosen bedroom partner.

#19 The love triangle. Having a penis making a blue whale cry with envy gives you no excuse for cheating on your partner. You do not have a God-given obligation to share it with the rest of the female population. And any attempt to do so may well result in a Bobbit-esque fumbling on hands and knees in a nearby field!

#20 Own your status. You’re the envy of 99% of the rest of the male population—enjoy the attention, dude! [Read: Does size matter to women or is there more to it?]

As you can see, whether it’s a small one or a big penis, the size of your penis is not the be all and end all to a good sexual relationship. There’s always something you can do, with whatever you have, to make sure your lady walks away satisfied.

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David Cullen
David Cullen
David Cullen is frequently described as erudite, insightful and witty – but only by himself and only after several large glasses of Rioja....

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