Ladies, your job isn’t to just lie there and take it, staring at the ceiling. Take initiative, step up, and make love to your man with fiery passion.
The saying that goes “all the pressure is on the guy, the woman just needs to show up and get naked,” is pretty true. Any man would be happy with just that. However, if that’s all you ever do, things are bound to get stale, like week-old bread. No one likes that.
To keep the fire burning hot, make sure you treat him right, just like he does you. Women can be passionate, too, and take charge. Now, if you don’t know what you’re doing, or don’t know how to go about it, that’s OK. Confidence is sexy, and whatever you experiment with, chances are he will laugh mistakes off with you. Don’t be afraid to ruin the mood; we promise, you can recover from just about anything.
12 tips to get you started
To get you started, here are 12 steamy ways to make love to a man, and you just can’t go wrong with any of these!
#1 His penis is not all of him. Neither are the boys. First and foremost, men make a big deal about their member. We all know this. Even if it’s not impressive, they’re pretty focused on it, one way or the other. Even if they think it’s small, it’s still their penis.
That being said, a man is not just his penis. It might be hard to believe this, so hold on to your hats, but there is a man all around that penis. And his balls, for that matter. Don’t go straight for his dick, even though he wants you to. That’s the fun of it, the tease. You should wait to head down south, so he’s rock hard when you do. [Read: 18 unknown and fascinating facts about the penis women SHOULD know]
#2 Guys have sexy zones, too. To help give you ideas with #1, males have a sensitive spot between their Adam’s apple, and chest. And even another between the Adam’s apple, and chin. Their neck. Their ears. Even their hands! Put on something sexy, set the mood lighting, and explore these areas slowly and tenderly with your hands, your lips, and your tongue. [Read: 8 secret erogenous zones to touch on your man and leave him weak]
#3 Pinpoint what he likes, and build on that. Not every man is the same. While some men think lingerie is decent, but prefer the act of undressing, other men are all about the lace. Some aren’t fans of heels, but others are. Something as simple as a scent can make all the difference.
For instance, say he’s really into the smell of cherry, but he loves see-through lingerie. Say he enjoys watching you masturbate. You know what you need to do. Enjoy that process, and he will take notice of it, because he will know why you did it. Not only will it show him you aim to please, but that you’re listening when he’s talking.
#4 Romance is sexy. Candles, flowers, music, mood lighting—these things are a cliché for a reason. They work. Only, people get caught up in what they think is stereotypical romance. The “right” romance. Think logically, though; you’re your own couple. No other couple is the same. Why stick to the rules? Why not create your own level of romance?
If you both think art is sexy, try to get a date at an artsy place, before heading back and making love. If you’re both into video games, perhaps plan a night of sex and gaming naked. Do what you both enjoy, and see how romantic it is. It brings a level of mutual interest in that helps you connect on a deeper level. [Read: 10 relationship games for couples to feel loved and connected]
#5 Pay attention in class. Making love is about connection. Sex is one thing. Making love is another. To make love, you have to be connected to the person. The key is to not just focus on what you’re doing at any given time, but to focus on him as well. Look into each other’s eyes. Moan in his ear a little, to let him know how good he makes you feel.
#6 Nice girls can be naughty too, with a little dirty talk. Dirty talk isn’t just for knocking boots, it’s also a part of making love. Tell him how good something feels, using “naughty” words. Tell him you want him to screw you good, or tell him how good you’re going to make him cum. He will love it, and will actively try to make the experience even hotter for you in return. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy in bed]
#7 Tell him what you want, and what you enjoy. Piggybacking off of #6, remember this is love-making. Don’t just dirty talk for the sake of an orgasm. Communicate with him to connect. Tell him you love feeling his hands on your breasts. Tell him you love it when he holds your waist and pulls you closer. Ask him to go nice and slow, and build up from there.
#8 Enjoy yourself and enjoy him, uninhibited. A lot of times, women are fairly shy during love-making, because it isn’t just about having sex anymore—it’s about connecting. The trick is to get out of your head, and into the moment. Focus on what he’s doing, and give in. Focus on what you want to do, and do it. Enjoy the act, and enjoy it together. Make him feel like he’s everything you want in a man, and watch him treat you like you’re the only woman for him.
#9 Don’t be a prude. No one likes a prude. Making love is about exploring and doing something intimate, with someone intimate. It’s not just about sex anymore; it’s about expressing your feelings with each other and receiving that same level of expression in return.
Being a prude during this time means you’re restricted, limited, and not on that same level of connection. This doesn’t mean you should do anything you’re not comfortable doing, but that you should try to be open-minded.
#10 Passionate grinding, embracing, and caressing. God, even reading that is a turn on, isn’t it? Grind with your man! Embrace him and stuff his face into places you want his face in. Touch his arms, touch his penis, and rub a hand on his chest as he slips into you! Get frisky! [Read: 12 foreplay moves that work exceptionally well on men]
#11 Location, location, location. Just like in a story, setting is everything. It influences so much. If it’s a nice night out, and you both want to sit under the stars, find a good spot. Sit under the stars and kiss until you find yourselves lost in each other.
#12 Confidence is everything. Going back to the beginning of this feature, confidence is key. Think of it as a means to get away with murder. If you try something and it doesn’t work, be confident! If he does something and it turns out it’s not really getting you there, be confident! Use your sexy smile, and the eyes that make him drool, and distract him with that as you slip into a different position. He won’t even notice—or care.
Making love is hard to do, while having sex is easy. Making love implies there’s a level of intimacy there, a connection, between both of you. Love-making is an extension of that–it’s a method of showing what you both share. Don’t be afraid to leave your inhibitions at the door, and give in.
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Jennifer is a writer, director, consultant and author, with a passion for all things literary. While she works on a variety of projects at a time, her one true ...